


Conceal

by Yanyangire



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Kylo Ren, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Brendol Hux's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Armitage Hux, Past Child Abuse, Possessive Kylo Ren, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Kylo Ren, Sexism, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:40:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 126,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21877543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yanyangire/pseuds/Yanyangire
Summary: Hux has kept the fact that he is an omega hidden since he first presented almost two decades ago. However, when his suppressants suddenly stop working Hux has no choice but to seek out an alpha to spend his heat with otherwise he risks suffering serious damage to his body and possibly even death.Unfortunately for Hux the only alpha he can really turn to is none other than his co-commander, Kylo Ren.  And who knows if that insufferable man will even agree to help him out or not.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 268
Kudos: 1066





	1. Chapter 1

After having spent the past two weeks feeling absolutely wretched, Hux had finally forced himself to go to medbay to get checked out. The only time he ever visited medbay was for his biannual health examination, a check-up that was required for all officers regardless of their rank. If possible, Hux would have very much preferred to skip the process altogether, but even if he could do so, he knew that in the end he wouldn’t, not wanting to set a bad example for his men if they were to become aware of such a thing.

As such, to go there without prompting, and willingly at that, was indeed a rare occurrence. Even the head physician Doctor Fahey had looked momentarily surprised to see him there before quickly schooling his face into its usual professional expression. While Hux had never said anything out loud that would imply it, the doctor appeared to be aware of his distaste for medbay. He wasn’t wrong of course, and honestly Hux wouldn’t have gone at all if he hadn’t felt like all the symptoms he had experienced thus far were worsening day by day.

Fatigue, nausea, stomach cramps, constant sweating, sensitivities to both lights and smell, as well as a complete lack of appetite – although admittedly that one wasn’t unusual for Hux – none of them appeared to be letting up in the slightest. And while normally he would have been happy to ignore them and simply get on with things like he always did, Hux feared that they were beginning to have an adverse effect on his work. Despite his aversion to medbay and doctors in general, Hux couldn’t allow such a thing to stand. If not for his own sake, then at least for the sake of the First Order.

With their frantic search for the Resistance’s current location, Hux couldn’t afford to be in such a miserable state in which he found himself moving about sluggishly on the bridge and struggling to even climb out of bed in the morning. Stars, just the other day, he had almost let out a yawn when in the presence of other people, only just barely managing to stifle it in time. His only saving grace was that he was sure that none of the officers on the bridge had been paying attention to him at the time, too engrossed in their own work to notice. Nonetheless, to have anyone witness him doing so would have indeed been disgraceful.

Deciding that he needed to nip whatever apparent illness he had that was affecting him in the bud before it got any worse, Hux dragged himself to medbay, hoping that it would be easy to diagnose and therefore cure.

Curiously from what Hux could tell, none of the bridge staff or any of the other officers he had frequent interactions with appeared to be ill, all continuing to function capably and as skilful as usual. While he was glad that whatever it was that was ailing him did not seem to be contagious, the fact that it appeared to be unique to him made him slightly uneasy.

While he told himself that he was being ridiculous, that it was merely some strain of the flu or whatnot that somehow simply wasn’t easy transmittable to others, all the way to medbay Hux had been unable to shake his feelings of unease; fearing that there really was something horribly wrong with him.

Trying not to let his tension show to Doctor Fahey – a doctor or no, the man was still technically his subordinate and thusly it would be inappropriate to show too much weakness in his presence – Hux relayed his symptoms after which the doctor had a med-droid take some bio-readings from him. However, when he suggested the droid take some blood to run tests on as well, Hux had instantly tensed. He hadn’t had any taken in years.

“Is that really necessary?” he questioned, trying to keep his voice even.

“I believe it is, sir,” the doctor replied, “It will be much easier to pinpoint the exact cause behind your symptoms if we do so. Not to mention it’s makes the process faster.”

“So I suppose it’s not just a simple case of the flu then?” Of course Hux wouldn’t be so fortunate.

“I don’t believe so, sir, no. That’s why I would argue that it’s important to run some blood tests so we can be sure exactly what it is.”

Hux refrained from sighing. It would do no good to refuse, and as Doctor Fahey had highlighted it would make it go more quickly. Considering his rank and status, it was imperative that he be in good health at all times so he could adequately fulfil his duties to the Order. “Alright then, go ahead.”

And so without any further protest, he rolled up the sleeve of his uniform jacket, allowing the med-droid to take some blood.

“If it’s something that we’ve come across before, it shouldn’t take too long to identify and diagnose the problem.” Hux didn’t even want to entertain the possibility that they might not be able to diagnose it, knowing that it would only serve to remind him of how the doctors who had treated his father just before his death had absolutely no idea of the strange illness afflicting him. Not that his father dying from an unknown illness – all part of Phasma’s successful assassination attempt – was a bad thing of course. Hux had taken great delight in Brendol’s death after all.

Hux supposed that in the very least, he could take comfort in that whatever malady he had it wasn’t the same one as his father’s otherwise he would have been essentially reduced to an indistinguishable gooey substance not long after his initial symptoms first began.

While he could have quite easily have returned to work and come back later when the doctor had his results, Hux chose instead to wait in medbay for them. As the doctor had assured him, it wouldn’t take too long to figure out the problem; the First Order’s medical expertise being top-notch after all. And it would be a waste to leave only for him to have to immediately come back. In the meantime, he could simply work remotely on his datapad. 

It was a short while later when Doctor Fahey returned to his office. As he took a seat behind his desk Hux noticed almost instantly that he appeared anxious. While he wouldn’t say that he was particularly well acquainted with the man, Hux was quite sure he had never seen him look so concerned before. It was a clear indication as any that something was wrong; that something had shown up in tests he had ran and that it had him rattled.

And yet Hux couldn’t help but thinking that surely with his profession, Fahey should be used to delivering bad news by now. That being a senior physician, having to tell stormtroopers and officers alike that because of the damage they sustained in battle or due to whatever illness they contracted that sadly they just wouldn’t make it, should be second nature to him.

Hux wondered that given his rank of both General and commander of this ship, if the doctor perhaps feared being punished for delivering any sort of bad news.

Such a thing was ridiculous. But then again, if he had the misfortune of having to treat Ren in the past, Hux supposed it wasn’t that surprising for him to worry that someone in such a position of power might lash out at him. Hux however, unlike his co-commander, refused to lose his composure no matter what was said to him.

Nonetheless, regardless of his determination to keep a stiff upper-lip, Hux felt his heart start to race. He couldn’t afford to be afflicted even the most treatable of illnesses right, let alone have a possible life-threatening disease. Not when they were so close to finally wiping out the Resistance once and for all.

Hux sat up straighter in his seat, placing his datapad in one of the pockets of his greatcoat that he had placed on the back of his chair. He had taken it off not long after the doctor had left, finding the office unbearably hot.

“Doctor Fahey, have you discovered the cause behind the symptoms I described?” Hux asked, refusing to let his concern show even if he was becoming ever more convinced by the second that whatever news he received it would be grave.

“Yes. Well, I believe I have, sir, but…” Fahey trailed off and as he did so, Hux found himself frustrated with the doctor’s uncharacteristic hesitation. It wasn’t just that Fahey was nervous either but the fact that he was clearly uncomfortable as well.

“Well, spit it out then. That’s an _order_ ,” Hux all but snapped, unable to take the suspense any longer. So much for trying to maintain a cool façade, he thought somewhat shamefully.

“Of course, sir,” Fahey quickly replied, “But first there’s something that I must ask you.”

Hux frowned. He really wished the doctor would just tell him what the problem was already. “Fine. What is it that you would like to know?”

“General, are you a…Well, I imagine that you’re aware already given that…” He coughed. “In any case, you do know that you’re an omega, don’t you?”

While Hux’s heart had been racing just a minute ago, it now felt like it had stopped beating altogether.

Now it was his turn to hesitate. “I…”

No. This couldn’t be happening. He knew? Fahey knew what he really was?

But of course he did, thought Hux miserably.

He never should have allowed that damn droid to take a sample of his blood; should have told Doctor Fahey to diagnose him based on his bio-readings alone. It may have taken slightly longer, but they would still have the same results of whatever illness he was suffering in the end.

He had simply assumed – and incorrectly at that it seemed – that his secondary gender wouldn’t show up on whatever tests the doctor had been planning to run on his blood. After all, blood tests weren’t usually required to identify such things, it being more than obvious when an individual presented as either an alpha, or in Hux’s unfortunate case, as an omega. The only times when such tests were ever requested were generally from deluded parents desperately hoping that their beta child might turn out to be an alpha and that they were simply a late bloomer.

But now apparently whatever test the doctor had run had revealed Hux’s awful secret; something that he had been trying so desperately to conceal since he had presented for the first time almost two decades prior. Everyone who had been aware of what was undeniably Hux’s greatest shame was now thankfully dead. Or at least that had been the case until a moment ago.

Subconsciously Hux felt for the monomolecular blade that he kept concealed within the sleeve of his jacket at almost all times. While he wasn’t exactly the most athletic person, he imagined that if he moved swiftly enough, he could slit Fahey’s throat before he got the chance to say anything more, effectively silencing him for good.

But no, such a death would be far too messy. For starters Hux wasn’t sure how he would go about explaining the doctor’s death. While he could claim that Fahey had tried to attack him and thus he had no choice but to kill him in self-defence, it would undoubtably lead to a lot of questions.

What Hux needed was to be discreet about it. However, that involved planning and if he spend too long deciding how to implement the doctor’s death, he ran the risk of Fahey blabbing to one of his associates, or worst, to someone at high command about his shameful secret.

Stars, there was even the possibility that he told someone already before returning to his office.

If that really was the case, then Hux’s fate would be sealed. He would be ruined, disgraced. He would have to –

“General?” spoke Fahey, startling Hux out of his thoughts.

“Yes. I’m aware of course.” Hux forced himself to answer.

“On all of your medical records you’re listed as being a beta,” said Fahey, stating the obvious.

“Yes.” There was no point in trying to deny that he was an omega, the doctor having the proof of what he was right in front of him. There was no arguing with it. Science was absolute after all.

“Based on this, I can only assume that you didn’t inform any First Order medical personnel when you first presented as an omega then?”

“No. My father was the only one aware of what I was.” _Am_. That’s right. Hiding it or not, he supposed that he had never technically stopped being an omega.

Brendol had been the one to help Hux cover it up after he had presented. In truth it was the only decent thing Brendol had ever done for him in his entire life. Not that he had helped him for Hux’s sake of course. It had simply been a case of Brendol being unable to handle anyone learning that he had an omega as a son.

_“Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly disappoint me anymore you just had to go and prove me wrong, didn’t you, Armitage?”_

Hux immediately pushed his father’s words out of his head.

“I see,” said Fahey, looking somewhat troubled.

Surely the doctor had to understand why he had done what he had. Revealing himself to be an omega would have ruined the possibility of him having any kind of military career. And given that he had been in training to be a commanding officer since he was five-years-old, his entire life up until then would have been all for nought; completely pointless. He had refused to allow something as irrelevant as him being an omega get in the way of achieving his goals, even if it did mean having to conceal what he really was from every single person around him.

Hux cleared his throat. “In any case I highly doubt that me being a –” No. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, even after all this time. “– well, that my true designation has anything to do with my current illness. Now, if we can focus instead on –”

“Actually, I’m afraid it does, General,” the doctor interrupted, “I do believe that you are in the preliminary stages of heat.”

Hux’s breath caught in his throat. “No. That’s… That’s impossible. I’m on suppressants. I have been for a good many years now.” Almost two decades at that. “As such, your claim that I’m going into _heat_ ,” He spoke the word with a great deal of disdain. “Well, it’s just not feasible.”

“And are you taking your suppressants daily?”

“Yes.” He took them like clockwork each morning, never missing a dosage.

“I presume that you’re not mated?”

“ _No_.” Hux replied coolly, the thought of allowing himself to be mated to some bullish egotistical alpha filling him with scorn.

The doctor nodded. “I thought so. Then, may I ask how long it’s been since you last experienced a heat?”

Hux felt his cheeks redden at the question. He hated this; hated acknowledging that he actually was an omega let alone discussing anything to do with being one. 

“Is that really relevant?”

“I believe it is, sir.”

“I can’t recall,” Hux answered stiffly. It was a lie of course. He knew exactly when it last was. 

“Has it been a matter of years?” Fahey asked.

“Yes,” Hux replied, offering up nothing else.

The doctor sighed. “I suppose that explains it then.”

But for Hux it explained nothing.

“I believe that the long and extended length in the time since your last heat has caused your body’s natural defences to push through the effects of your suppressants to help urge you into…well, what your body is originally intended for.”

Hux glared at him. “And what exactly is it that my body is intended for, _doctor_? To be nothing but a mindless vessel for some foul and horny alpha to impregnate me with his spawn of his mewling pups?!” Hux snapped furiously.

By now it was clearly evident that his heat was affecting not only his body but his emotions as well. While he had found himself becoming frustrated rather easily these past several days and on occasion even upset, he had managed to refrain from losing his temper and yelling at any of his subordinates thus far. Snapping in such a way was beneath him. He wasn’t an unstable man-child like Kylo Ren after all. Regardless, the insinuation that breeding was what he was truly intended for, his true purpose so to speak, stung deeply.

Did his achievements, all his vast accomplishments up until now really account for nothing all because he just so happened to be an omega? He would rather die than have to succumb to his omegan nature; to exist only as some wretched alpha’s broodmare. And if that was what the doctor really was suggesting, well, he would kill him right here and now. He no longer cared how it would look.

But seemingly he had misunderstood as the doctor was quick to explain

“Of course not, sir! I didn’t mean to imply such a thing. Not at all,” said Fahey, sounding slightly aghast that that was what Hux had thought he had meant.

“I see,” replied Hux, feeling somewhat embarrassed.

Hux didn’t believe that it was wrong of him to assume that the doctor had intended it that way considering he was well aware of what many officers in the Order, in particular those old elitist Imperials, really thought about omegas and what their roles should be within the Order. Or more accurately their _lack of_ role in it other than to breed and do exactly what their alphas demanded of them that was.

“I just meant that with you being an omega –” Hux had to stop himself from cringing at the word. He never really had a problem hearing it before but when used in conjunction to describe himself, Hux found he couldn’t stand it. Just hearing it made him want to be sick. “- your body is adapted to…well, experience heats in order to procreate, sir.”

Hux knew the purpose behind heat cycles. He didn’t require a bloody biology lesson.

“It’s what your body expects. Regular heat cycles are important for keeping your body healthy, even if you have no intention of procreating and falling pregnant.”

Of course Hux had no intention of ever falling pregnant, just as he had never had any intention of letting anyone know that it was even a possibility for him. As far as anyone was aware, he was like any other normal healthy beta; capable of getting a female beta pregnant and nothing more that.

“Uh, but of course we are no longer merely slaves to our biology,” Fahey continued, “Medical science has allowed us a certain degree of control in regards to how we manage our bodily functions, to alter the cycle of both heats and ruts so that they occur at less inconvenient and instead more opportune times of our choosing.”

More opportune times? For Hux, there had never been an opportune time for him to experience a heat. The further he had made his way up the First Order military hierarchy, the less he could afford to take even the shortest leave of absence less someone swoop in and try to seize his position from him. It continued on and on and with each new promotion he had been granted there came to be even more people vying for what he had. Furthermore he had never wanted to take the chance that one of his rivals might attempt to follow him and discover Hux whilst he was in the throes of his heat. If it was revealed that he was an omega, his military career would have come to an abrupt end and his place in the Order thrown into disarray.

As for Fahey bringing up heats and ruts, Hux thought it was unfair comparison. While heats were naturally occurring based on regular cycles, ruts only happened to alphas very occasionally, and in Hux’s opinion only affected those who lacked self-discipline and were too weak-willed to control themselves when around an omega who smelt particularly alluring to them. When it came to alphas like that, Hux held the utmost contempt for them.

“As you know, it is now much easier for omegas to live lives in which they don’t find themselves burdened by mounting and frequent heats. Also, thanks to scent suppressors, they can avoid attracting any unwanted attention from the alpha’s surrounding them. However, I’m afraid even medical science has its limits. It’s not perfect, and so in order to achieve the advantage of controlled heats, one must compromise and regularly go through them to maintain biological stability. But as you’ve been neglecting your heat cycles your body has begun to rebel and started to reject your suppressants.”

Hux wanted to throttle the doctor for his use of the word _neglect_. If he had given into his body’s urges and taken time off to experience a heat, it would be paramount to ignoring his duties to the First Order, and in his opinion, that was far worse a crime than tending to his own inconvenient biological needs. From the moment of the Order’s formation, he had been taught that the demands of the First Order must come before all else.

“Yes, I understand all of that. And here I am now paying the price for my negligence as you so put,” said Hux, almost sneering. “My question, however, is what is there that can be done about it?”

“Done about it?” the doctor asked, sounding confused.

“To stop my heat before it progresses any further,” Hux stated, feeling that that should be more than obvious, “Clearly the suppressants I’ve been taking are no longer fit for their intended purpose, but another kind should be able to halt my heat at least.”

Given that Hux couldn’t simply go to medbay and request some, every few months or so he would have a batches of suppressants ordered discreetly onto the Finalizer under the guise of something else for his own personal use, it really having been the only way he could obtain them without risk of being discovered. The brand he always acquired were supposedly the best on the market, something which was reflected in the hefty price tag attached to them. However, given the fact that they had suddenly stopped working for him Hux found himself now very much questioning the claim; so much so that he was rather tempted to track down the precise location of where exactly they were manufactured and have the entire factory burned to the ground. Perhaps he would even have the entire planet destroyed just for good measure. Although admittedly, with the loss of Starkiller Base, such feat would be more difficult to accomplish.

“I’m afraid at this stage, stopping your heat isn’t possible, sir.”

Hux stilled at that. “What do you mean it’s not possible? Surely you must have some heat suppressors here in medbay.” While all the officers and stormtroopers on the Finalizer were either alphas or betas, many of them – the officers at least – had their families here on the ship with them, some of whom like Hux shared the unfortunate fate of being an omega. And while there was probably no need for them to be on suppressants, many no doubt happy in their position of being dutiful and submissive omegas to their alphas, it only made sense to have some suppressants onboard for certain mitigating circumstances and as Fahey had said, when having a heat just wasn’t convenient.

“We do have some aboard, but your test results show that your body is well into the final stages of pre-heat. By this point, there is no way of preventing it. All suppressants share the basic chemical components. Even if we were to give you a new brand, they would be rejected, just as your body has rejected your current suppressants. If anything, giving you more would make things worse,” Fahey explained.

“And you’re sure of that?”

The doctor nodded. “I am.”

“Then no matter what, I’ll be going into…” Hux trailed off, unable to finish the sentence, his body feeling far hotter now than it had been just mere moments ago.

“Yes. I’m afraid so.”

“How…How long do I have?”

“I do believe that full effects of your heat will be underway within the next cycle or so. Honestly with the symptoms you’ve described, I’m surprised that you haven’t succumbed to your heat much sooner. It could almost be considered impressive if denying yourself from experiencing a heat for so long wasn’t such a foolish thi…” The doctor immediately stopped, his eyes widening as he suddenly appeared to remember just who it was that he was speaking to. “General, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to –”

However right now Hux wasn’t concerned about the doctor’s insubordinate manner of addressing him. No, all that he cared about right now was the discouraging fact that his heat was apparently unpreventable and as a result he would have no choice but to endure it.

Hux cursed himself, wishing that he had realised sooner just what was happening to him. If had forced himself to come to medbay back when he was only in the early stages of pre-heat perhaps it could have been prevented from developing into a full-blown one.

But how could he have possibly known that that was what it was? After all, the possibility of his suppressants failing him had never even crossed his mind before. He had never even considered it as something that could actually happen, especially after all these years taking him. And so now both his ignorance and carelessness was costing him dearly.

In truth Hux had gotten so used to masquerading as a beta that there were times when he almost forgot he wasn’t one. It was never something he could ever fully forget of course, but sometimes he could deceive himself into believing that the suppressants he took daily were just another vitamin supplement to ensure his continued good health – or well at least keep him functioning – and that the deodorants and soaps he used were simply to mask body odour and keep himself clean just like anyone else, not to hide his natural omegan scent.

“So what you’re saying is that in the end I’ll have no choice but to endure this…” Hux clenched his fists. “But to endure this indignity?”

Fahey who had worn a worried expression on his face just moments before, appeared relieved that the General hadn’t berated him for his slip of the tongue. The thing that did frustrate Hux and make him want to rebuke the doctor was the tone of gentle assurance and slight condescension he had adopted in response to his question.

“Yes. With how far your heat has progressed, there’s nothing that can be done. But it’s nothing to be ashamed about, General. Going through a heat is perfectly natural for all omegas.”

Hearing Fahey say such a thing was mildly annoying. After all, it was easy enough to claim when you weren’t the one having to go through it. As a beta, the doctor didn’t need to suffer through such a degrading ordeal.

“Your body needs this,” said Fahey. No. What Hux needed was for his body to cease being such a massive inconvenience to him. What he needed was to regain the perfectly crafted control which he had skilfully managed to cultivate over all these years. “I guarantee that you’ll feel much better once you’ve gotten through it.”

Hux snorted. He highly doubted that. Just as what he would experience when he finally succumbed to it, humiliation and disgust with himself were likely to be the only things he would feel in the aftermath.

“In any case, you should find an alpha to spend your heat with as soon as possible,” said Fahey, reverting to his slightly detached and professional tone of voice that Hux was used to, and to be quite frank, honestly much preferred. “I don’t believe you’ll have much trouble finding a willing one, however.”

Hux wasn’t sure if the doctor’s assurance that it would be easy enough for him to find an alpha was an attempt to placate and make him feel better. But if it was, it certainly wasn’t working.

“That won’t be necessary, doctor,” replied Hux, holding up his hand, “I plan on getting through this purely by myself. I’ll let my heat run its course until it’s over with.”

Yes. Hux absolutely refused to let another person witness him in such a debauched and perverse state. He would simply barricade himself inside his quarters and not leave until his heat was over with. No one would realise that he was actually in there of course. He would have some flight logs carefully altered to make it look as if he had left the Finalizer on official Order business, and if anyone tried questioning him about where he was going, he would merely state that Supreme Leader Snoke had sent him on an important mission that was classified and that he would unfortunately be out of contact range for the duration of it. Not that he believed that any of his officers barring perhaps Canady would be bold enough to ask him about it, nor would they likely find his departure too strange given that he was one of the few people in the entirety of the First Order who regularly got to have an audience with the Leader Snoke.

No. There would be nothing unusual about it. Hux just had to pray that no major incidents – the Resistance suddenly showing up and attacking them, stars forbid – occurred while he was miserably preoccupied and that Snoke wouldn’t actually request his presence for anything.

Despite his plan, Hux was aware that the situation was far from ideal. Going through one’s heat alone was overall considered to be a deeply uncomfortable experience and at times could even be rather painful. Nonetheless, Hux would gladly endure any pain and discomfort if it meant preventing anyone from discovering what he truly was.

Or well, no one else that was.

Once his heat was over, Hux would need to have Doctor Fahey disposed of. He couldn’t risk him relaying his secret to anyone or using it to blackmail him in the future.

It was a shame really, but then again, considering Fahey was incapable of doing anything to stop something as basic as a heat from occurring, perhaps it wouldn’t be that great a loss to the Order after all.

“Sir, I would strongly advise against spending your heat alone,” said Fahey, looking horrified by the mere suggestion. Gone again was the stoic professionalism expected of First Order medical personnel, in turn reminding Hux of why he much preferred dealing with med-droids over human doctors. While still able to vocalise their surprise, droids at least were incapable of showing facial expressions to match their artificial shock.

“Doctor, given that you have admitted that you are incapable of doing anything to stop my heat, I would say that exactly just how I intend to spend it is none of your concern,” Hux answered coolly. 

The doctor shook his head. “General, you don’t understand. Not spending your heat with an alpha could be incredibly dangerous for you.”

“Nonsense,” Hux replied with a scoff, “Plenty of omegas –” At this stage it was pointless, not to mention pathetic of him to keep trying to avoid saying the word. Whether he said it or not, didn’t make it any less true after all. “Plenty of omegas go through their heats without an alpha present and come out none the worst for it.” That was what he was led to believe anyway. “Granted it will likely be an unpleasant experience, I fail to see how I would be in any danger from choosing to spend it myself.”

“Normally it wouldn’t pose any threat other than being uncomfortable like you said, but this is far from an ordinary heat, sir,” replied Fahey, “After all, your body has entirely rejected your suppressants – something of which while troubling, is a rather amazing feat I must say – forcing you to go through a heat cycle in spite of the fact that you’ve had no preparation for it whatsoever. Furthermore, all of your bio-readings are showing high levels of fluctuation due to the lingering traces of suppressants in your system that your body is attempting to flush out.

Compared to a great number of other species, the heat cycles of human omegas aren’t meant to last very long. A couple of cycles at most, not including the initial pre-heat symptoms. With this much build up and no release, I can only deduce that until you satisfy your innate omegan impulses and are able to give your body what it craves, your heat will not to come to an end and as a result all the symptoms you are currently experiencing will only continue to worsen the more that time passes.”

Hux cringed at the thought of a never-ending heat. It sounded like absolute torture.

“However, there’s only so much the body can take and trying to ignore your heat by not taking an alpha may cause irreparable damage to it, and in the worst case scenario may even lead to death. Therefore it is extremely dangerous and not at all advisable for you to try and spend your heat alone,” said Fahey sounding almost distressed himself

Hux’s eyes widened. Could he really die simply because he hadn’t taken a couple of cycles out of his busy schedule to experience a heat? Such a thing didn’t seem possible. And yet at them same time there was something inside screaming out that yes it really was, and that no, he really couldn’t get through this heat by himself.

“Then I really have no choice but to spend my heat with an…” Hux breath hitched. In a context such as this, going to say the word felt almost distressing for him to say as it was ‘omega’.

“An alpha?” Fahey finished for him. “Yes. But I believe once the alpha you’re with has knotted you, your heat should eventually end and your body will return to normal.”

Hux’s stomach churned. No. No. No. This couldn’t be happening! It had to be some sort horrendous nightmare, one he desperately needed to wake up from. He was a high-ranking member of the First Order. Having to deal with something as debasing as a heat was beneath him. It was humiliating!

“There’s really no other way?” Hux asked, incapable of keeping his voice steady considering that all he wanted to do was scream.

Fahey gave him a pitying look. And if he hadn’t been in such a distraught state of mind, Hux was sure he would have pulled out his monomolecular blade tucked up his sleeve and stabbed the good doctor right where he sat, not caring how it would look to anyone else. After all, he was not a creature to be pitied. He was a great man. Even if it was the very last thing Hux felt like in that precise moment.

“I’m afraid not, sir,” he answered.

“I see.” That was that then. Either he had to find some repugnant alpha to spend his heat with and knot him or risk seriously hurting himself beyond repair and possibly even dying in the process. And yet in spite of the grave consequences that would befall him if he chose to spend his heat alone, a part of Hux still found it the preferable option.

“Regardless of the unique circumstances that have led to this heat, I don’t think the heat itself should be too different from the usual ones you’ve experienced in the past. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if this one felt a little more intense. Nevertheless, to avoid any possible complications that could arise, I suggest that your alpha should remain vigilant and –” The doctor paused for a brief moment, quickly realising his mistake, “Ah. I apologise General. What I mean is you should have the alpha that you’re spending your heat with closely monitor you just to make sure that there’s nothing too out of the ordinary and that you are not experiencing too much pain. As I said, there is the possibility that it may be more intense.”

Despite it having been established already that Hux was unmated and thus didn’t have an alpha, it had appeared to have slipped the doctor’s mind so easily. Hux supposed he couldn’t blame the man too much for it. At thirty-four, most omegas his age, both within the First Order as well as omegas in many other worlds, would already be mated and bonded long ago. To not be bonded with an alpha at his age, at least in the Order, was practically unheard of.

But Hux of course was not like most omegas. After all, how many omegas could boast of holding a high-ranking figure in a powerful military organisation which was on the very brink of finally bringing complete order and stability to the galaxy?

How many omegas had their very own Star Destroyer, let alone the authority to command an entire fleet of them?

No. Hux wasn’t like the rest of those pitiful creatures, slaves to their biology and subservient and dependent on the alphas around them to survive. He was powerful; self-sufficient. Or at least he had been.

Apparently biology was unescapable, no matter how hard you tried to deny it any kind of role in your life.

“I presume that since you’re not bonded, you won’t be wanting to use this heat as opportunity to get pregnant with child?” asked Fahey to which Hux glowered at him in response.

The doctor coughed uncomfortably into his hand. “Yes. Well, I didn’t think so.”

Knowing that he would have to demean himself by going through a heat with some foul alpha was nightmarish enough, but to actually become pregnant by it…well, it just didn’t bare thinking about.

“Will you be requiring any birth control? Or do you have some of your own? Condoms are effective most of the time, but when it comes to knotting sometimes they aren’t always as reliable for –”

“Yes. I’ll be needing some,” Hux interrupted.

“Right then, well, I’ll just be a few moments.”

A minute or so later, Doctor Fahey returned, handing over what appeared to be a packet of birth control pills to him. Frowning, Hux stared down at it. Inside there seemed to be about a month’s worth of supply.

“Is there a problem?” Doctor Fahey asked, “You have taken birth control pills before, yes?”

“…Yes. Yes of course I have,” Hux replied curtly, shoving the packet into one of the many inner pockets hidden inside his greatcoat and out of sight. “I’m just used to another brand is all.” That wasn’t quite true.

“These are all we have onboard I’m afraid. But they’re very fast acting and –”

Hux held up his hand. “These should do fine I’m sure.”

The doctor nodded.

“While experiencing your heat with an alpha should alleviate your symptoms and rebalance your hormones, there may still be some mild complications. If anything feels out of the ordinary with your heat or wrong, please contact medbay as soon as possible.”

Given that every single thing about his impending heat felt wrong, Hux had no clue how he would be able to tell if there really was some sort of problem. And honestly, if there was, perhaps it would be best just to let it happen. It would certainly save himself the indignation of having to be taken to medbay in such an appalling state in which anyone could catch a glimpse of him, no matter how brief.

In all truth he still hadn’t completely made up his mind that he wouldn’t just go ahead and spend his heat alone in spite of everything that had been said to him, as well as his abhorrence for engaging in reckless behaviour in general.

Just as he was finally getting ready to leave – of which couldn’t have come soon enough, the room now feeling absolutely stifling to him – Hux turned to address Doctor Fahey.

“Doctor, I do hope that I can rely on your discretion on this matter; that is of my true designation not matching what’s noted there on my medical records,” he spoke solemnly.

Despite how important it was that Fahey not out him as being an omega, Hux refused to beg the man to keep his shameful secret for him. He also declined to justify himself as to why it was that he neglected to inform the First Order medical staff about being one when he had first presented all those years ago. He did suspect however that Doctor Fahey knew exactly why he hadn’t. But alas understanding and sympathising were two completely different things. After all, many would find Hux concealing what he was to be treasonous, a feeling that Fahey himself might share.

Nevertheless, if he could at least convince Fahey not to expose him right away, that would give Hux the time to figure out how best to dispose of him once he had gotten his dreaded heat over with and things returned to their normal state of being.

“If such a thing were to come out now, well, I don’t believe it would be good for morale especially with the recent loss of Starkiller Base and the Resistance still at large,” Hux continued, “Right now the First Order’s focus should be solely be on –”

“I promise that I won’t tell anyone, General,” Fahey interrupted, “Doctor-patient confidentiality prevents me from disclosing something such as your designation without your express permission.”

Doctor-patient confidentiality didn’t quite work like that in the First Order. If a trooper or officer had an ailment which could prove to be detrimental to them being able to fulfil their duties, then it was marked up and reported. Their situation would immediately be evaluated so alternate arrangements in what to do with them could be made.

Despite Hux being his superior officer, as chief of medical aboard the ship, Fahey was fully within his rights to go above his head and report his findings to High Command if he believed it was necessary. Revealing himself to be an omega and going into an unprompted heat would certainly fall into that category of it being disadvantageous to carrying out his duties after all, not to mention it would likely be distracting for some of the weaker willed alphas around him. Nonetheless, for whatever reason, the doctor was claiming that he had no intention of reporting it. Whether he thought it would be too dangerous to do so because he feared Hux would come after him, Hux wasn’t sure. He did keep a tight rein on communications within the Finalizer as well as outgoing and incoming transmissions after all, so it wouldn’t be too difficult to intercept such a report before it got out.

“I see,” replied Hux monotonously, suspicion overriding any relief he felt about learning that the doctor had no plans to out him.

“As you did not have an appointment scheduled, nothing will show up on any official records about you being here or anything that we’ve discussed,” Fahey went on to say, “I also made sure to wipe clean the memory of the droid who took your bio-readings and blood samples just to be on the safe side.”

Hux’s eyes widened slightly. It seemed that Fahey had been rather thorough in hiding any possible evidence of what he had learned today. The question however was why he was going to such lengths for him?

“May I ask why you’re helping me keep my designation a secret?” queried Hux, deciding just to ask him point-blank. He was exhausted and currently his brain was too frazzled from his impending heat to try to properly decipher the man’s motivations without being overt about it.

“The truth is, omega, or not, I hold you in the highest of respects, General. For example, despite its unfortunate destruction, your design of the Starkiller superweapon was truly ingenious. Furthermore you’ve led the First Order through a great number of victories and it is of my strong opinion that you will continue to do so,” said Fahey, sounding almost reverent as he spoke about Hux, “Therefore it would be extremely unfortunate if something like your designation was to get in the way of both your and the First Order’s continued success. And while I do think that your decision to leave such long periods of time between your heats was very poor judgement on your part, when it comes to leading the Order to greatness, you are indispensable, sir. It doesn’t matter to me if you are an omega or not. However, my feelings on the matter aside, I do realise that many others within the Order won’t take the revelation of you being an omega too kindly, and while I fear that something like that is bound to come out into the open eventually, I won’t be the one to reveal it.”

Hux couldn’t help but be taken aback. Aside from the ones who were older than him, particularly from the old Imperial days, Hux was well aware that many officers and stormtroopers alike looked up to and admired him greatly, both those who worked directly under him and throughout the rest of the Order. Given that he was the very face of the Order when it came to spreading their message both within and throughout the galaxy at large, it only made sense that certain people who develop a feeling of kinship or reverence towards him. However, for some reason it hadn’t even crossed his mind that Doctor Fahey might fall into that category let alone respect him enough that his true designation didn’t at all seem to be an issue for him. The doctor was definitely right in the need to be cautious. And fortunately not naïve enough to think that many of Hux’s fellow officers wouldn’t take advantage of him being an omega.

“I see,” said Hux, repeating himself. It was an inadequate response, he knew. Fahey certainly deserved more than that. “Well, I thank you for your dedication to the First Order,” Hux continued, leaving the ‘and me’ unsaid. “It is certainly admirable and I am appreciative that you are aware of the fact that there are far larger things at stake at this time and have chosen not to disclose any information that might get in way of the Order achieving its goals. I commend you for your impeccable judgement, doctor.”

Hux finished with a salute, Fahey quickly following suit and offering the General one in return.

“Thank you, sir. I am honoured to serve the Order in any way I can. And I hope that you will soon be able to return to your duties once your…well once your current ‘ailment’ has finally been taken care of.”

“Yes. Thank you. I will attend to it as soon as possible.”

Had it been another time, Hux was sure that learning of Doctor Fahey’s dedication to the First Order, and more importantly his loyalty to him in spite of being an omega, would have filled him with a strong sense of triumph. But given what he was about to have to endure, it was sadly difficult to focus on anything positive.

With a final nod toward the good doctor, Hux exited medbay and headed straight to his office. Despite the pressing time constraints he was under and still feeling horribly wretched, he at least wanted to try get some work done as he attempted to deduce his next course of action.

It turned out to be all for nought however as over an hour passed by and Hux hadn’t managed to get a single piece of work done, the numerous reports before him remaining mostly untouched and unread. With his mind woefully occupied by the intensely unpleasant and possibly lethal predicament he currently found himself in, he was incapable of concentrating on anything else. As someone who had always been able to lose themselves in their work and had often used it to escape the unpleasant reality surrounding him courtesy of Brendol growing up, it only served to remind him of the severity of his situation and just how much it was coming to affect him. Not only physically, but mentally as well.

While presently he still couldn’t quite appreciate Doctor Fahey’s words as much as he would have liked to, they did serve to remind him of how indispensable he was to the Order in spite of what many within it may think. If spending his heat alone really could cause irreparable damage to himself and in turn could impede his ability to lead, or worst, result in his untimely death, then it just wasn’t an acceptable option. The First Order needed him. And he owed it not only to himself but to those who looked up to and respected him, to carry on as long as he could and see that the First Oder triumphed.

Yes. As much as he absolutely despised the idea, he had no choice. The Order needed him and as such he would endure the indignity that was required of him. No other person would know of it of course, apart from Doctor Fahey and the…well, whoever the alpha was that he managed to convince to share his head with. 

Hux felt sweat running down his face, a common occurrence, particularly over the past few days. It was unpleasant and as he searched agitatedly for a handkerchief from one of the pockets of his greatcoat of which rested over the back of his chair, he accidentally pulled out the birth control pills that Fahey had prescribed him, the packet dropping unceremoniously onto the floor.

Frowning, Hux bent down and picked them up. With a solemn sigh he reached over for the jug of water that sat near the edge of his desk and poured himself a small glass. The water would likely be stale by that point. Not that it really mattered.

After freeing one from its packaging, Hux swallowed the pill.

He supposed that was at least one thing taken care of. Going through with his heat was bad enough, but to become pregnant in the process, well, it was absolutely unthinkable. And yet at the same time completely possible for him even if it felt both completely unreal and unnatural.

Overall, while reassured that it wasn’t something he would have to deal with, the even larger and more pressing issue at hand was the fact that he still needed to find an alpha to agree to share his heat with him. When it came to locating one, it wasn’t as if there was any shortage of them here on the ship. And whether they were actually attracted to him or not, many would still jump at the opportunity to sleep with the great General Hux. Hux wondered if that was perhaps what Fahey had been meaning when he insinuated that Hux should have no trouble finding a willing alpha.

No, the real problem was that Hux happened to be the highest-ranking member of the Order onboard. There may have been a great deal of alphas around, but alphas, or not, it didn’t change the fact that Hux was their superior officer and they his subordinates. Superior officers sleeping with their subordinates was generally frowned upon, although Hux was of course under no illusion that such a thing didn’t happen. In the truth, the thought of sleeping with an alpha that he was superior to in rank to was a somewhat thrilling prospect, particularly as he knew many of the alpha officers resented him for his rank as General despite being a _mere_ beta. If they knew the actual truth; then rage and humiliation would surely consume many of them.

Sadly, while it may have been fun to rub it in their faces, sleeping with a subordinate didn’t exactly sit right with Hux. Additionally, the alpha he slept with could quite easily hold Hux being an omega over him and use it to blackmail him for promotion or stars knows what else. It wasn’t something that he could risk.

The only way he could feasibly sleep with someone within the Order was to seek out someone who was of the same rank of him. However, as was the case of refusing to sleep with one of his subordinates, Hux too refused to sleep with any of his superior officers. He didn’t need yet another reason for them to look down upon him and revealing himself as an omega could result in him being passed over for promotion in the future. That or something far worse.

In any case, locating one of his fellow generals wouldn’t be a simple task. He would have to contact them directly and subsequently alter the Finalizer’s course in order to rendezvous with them and board whatever ship they were on or vice versa. Depending on their location, it would likely take time to get there; time that Hux just couldn’t afford to lose. Another issue was that if he didn’t come up with an acceptable reason to justify the unexpected visit before revealing his true reason for being there, he would only draw suspicion to himself. And based on his current state, he believed that it would be difficult not to. After all, in the short distance from the medbay to his office, the number of officers who had stopped to salute him, only to look upon him with surprise on their faces – no doubt taken aback by his dishevelled appearance – was far greater than he would have liked. Although admittedly, right now it was difficult to tell if he was simply being paranoid or not.

A further problem was that although they may be the same rank as Hux, he knew many of them resented and were envious of his having direct access to Snoke as well as being in command of one of the fleets flagships. If given the chance, they wouldn’t hesitate to bring him down and take over his position. Whether Snoke would allow such a thing was another matter but it still didn’t change the fact that disclosing himself to be an omega would be akin to handing over the key to his own demise over to his fellow Generals on a silver platter.

Alas, politics notwithstanding, the thought of sleeping with the majority of them filled Hux with a sense of revulsion. In any case, most of the alpha Generals were mated and bonded already. Not that Hux was exactly convinced that it would stop them from sleeping with him if given the chance. Infidelity aside, Hux was well aware that many of them treated their mates rather poorly and lacked any proper respect for them from the dismissive way they spoke of their omegas. It was something that Hux had unfortunately been forced to listen to back when he was rising within the ranks of the Order and had no choice but to socialise with his fellow officers and superiors in order to make connections for himself and stand out. Sadly the very thing that would have distinguished himself from all his rivals, what with male omegas being something of a rarity, was the part of himself that he had to keep completely hidden.

While Hux hadn’t exactly been surprised by the way the officers treated their omegas, it had made him uncomfortable. And even more so when he witnessed alphas scolding and criticising their omegas at social events such as the balls and banquets the First Order would occasionally throw to celebrate their victories. The worst thing of all however was having to interact with them face-to-face. Every time he did, Hux desperately feared that despite the suppressants he took each day as well as the soaps and deodorants he used to conceal his natural scent, that being omegas themselves, they would instinctively be able to tell that he was one of them; that he was a fraud masquerading as beta. As such Hux had always tried his hardest to ignore them, offering them little more than a polite hello whenever they were introduced to him before quickly diverting his attention elsewhere.

Thankfully, there was nothing unusual about his dismissive attitude towards them. The only reason the omegas were even there at whatever mundane social event taking place was to look pretty on their alpha’s arm and be superficially admired from afar. They weren’t there to be conversed with. At least not on any meaningful level.

One advantage of many about others believing him to be a beta was that it wasn’t expected that he would have the same level of interest in omegas as the alphas around him did; betas not possessing the intense sex-drive of alphas propelled by inconvenient biological imperatives to fuck whichever omega was in the vicinity.

It was something which Hux believed people should consider to be more of an advantage given that it meant one wouldn’t be needlessly distracted from more important things by the recurrent and rather base need to breed.

When it came to intimacy between omegas and betas, although there weren’t exactly any rules against them having relationships with omegas, to many people it was considered to be a waste. This was particularly the case for male omegas which while already being rarer than their female counterparts, could only fall pregnant after being knotted by an alpha. And while there was no formal reparations for a beta and omega being together, it wasn’t exactly encouraged either. 

Deciding that reaching out to one of his fellow generals would not only be too time-consuming but incredibly risky for his career to boot, Hux struggled to weigh up his other choices of which were unfortunately for him steadily dwindling.

One option was to seek an alpha out within the First Order, preferably one located on some remote world. Hux believed that depending on his place of choice, it wouldn’t be too unusual for one to come across an omega on the cusp of their heat seeking out an alpha to spend it with, particularly if suppressants there happened to be difficult to come by or were either too expensive for most to afford. Lack of access to suppressants was something of an issue for many worlds whether they were considered developed or prosperous on the outside. All planets had underbelly after all, no matter how much they tried cover it up. One just needed to look.

A part of Hux found it to be somewhat of a pity that the Order cared so little for omegas as he was sure that targeting omegas from such worlds with the promise of providing access to suppressants would boost the Order’s recruitment quotas quite a bit. But given his own discomfort around other omegas, it was never something he considered actually bringing up and Hux didn’t dare do anything to cast any suspicion on what he was either.

Whatever planet he chose, Hux would have to go in disguise as he certainly couldn’t let anyone know who he truly was. A remote world that wasn’t completely desolate but widely ignored by the rest of the galaxy would be best as there would be much less of a chance of him being recognised. He supposed not being able to blend in as easily was one of the drawbacks of being the face of the First Order. Although given that he spent most of his time aboard the Finalizer and rarely planet side and never alone at that, it hadn’t really been an issue for him before now.

Of course, choosing to go to some backwater planet in search of someone to spend his heat with came with its own set of risks and not just regarding his own personal reputation. No, the main issue was that he would have to go there alone, unaccompanied without any stormtroopers. If something were to go wrong and he got caught up in a scuffle, he would be entirely on his own with no backup. And while with a blaster in his hand and monomolecular blade hidden up his sleeve he would normally be confident enough in his ability to defend himself, given that he would be on the very cusp of his heat he knew that he would be far weaker than usual. If someone tried to attack him, especially if that person happened to be an alpha, he would be utterly vulnerable to them.

There was also the chance that even if he did find alpha who wanted to sleep with him, there was no assurance that they would be amicable about it. They could pretend to be friendly at first and flirt with him only for their demeanour and attitude towards him to change completely the moment they were behind closed doors.

Unfortunately the chance of encountering some cruel and sadistic alpha on a lawless desolate world who would have no qualms about harming or even killing an omega like him was startlingly high.

Hux closed his eyes as a number of unpleasant scenarios came rushing into his mind’s eye.

No. He couldn’t bear to think about such things. He didn’t want and neither could he allow himself to become so defenceless; to be unable to protect himself.

Shuddering, Hux had to resist the urge to wrap his arms around himself like some sad frightened little child.

Now that he thought about it, hadn’t he done just that after he had presented for the first time?

Brendol certainly hadn’t offered him any comfort when he had come across him on the cusp of his very first heat. The exact opposite in fact. Thus Hux had been left having to seek out whatever semblance of comfort he could muster up from within himself. It hadn’t helped of course and in all likelihood only served to make him feel even worse when he realised that comfort was something that he even required in the first place. He may have just discovered that he was an omega, but he was still a cadet in the First Order. The desire or need to be soothed by another was far beneath him.

Reminding himself, that someone could walk into his office at any moment, Hux forced himself to take a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. Unfortunately, considering that breathing was already becoming more of challenge for him the closer he neared the end of his pre-heat and towards the real thing, it took him a minute or so to actually settle down. Despite that, he still felt like he could scream. But instead Hux placed his hands over his face, groaning loudly into them. It wasn’t particularly dignified, but considering what he was about to face, any sherd of dignity he had left by now was about to be thrown completely out of the airlock.

He couldn’t go down to some backwater planet he knew next to nothing about. It was too dangerous. Regardless of his impending heat and the loathing that came with it, he was still far too valuable an asset to the First Order for them to lose him. He couldn’t chance putting himself in such a perilous situation, not unless he was accompanied by a squadron of stormtroopers, something which of course was out of the question.

Hux still refused however to sleep with any of his subordinates and he couldn’t trust his fellow generals not to betray him with their discovery of him being an omega. Even the ones that he was on more friendly terms with could not be at all trusted.

That left him with one final choice; one he had deliberately put off thinking about despite knowing that it would be the option he would most likely have to follow through with in the end. It was also in many ways the most ludicrous choice and a part of him questioned his sanity for even considering it in the first place, fearing that his oncoming heat had successfully robbed him of all of his senses. 

Hux sighed, leaning heavily back into his chair. There was one alpha on the ship who while not possessing a formal rank in the First Order military structure, technically shared the same standing as Hux in one regard; that being that they both held the position of commander of the Finalizer.

Said alpha was of course none other than Supreme Leader Snoke’s apprentice, Kylo Ren; an insufferable man who was forever rubbing Hux the wrong way. But right now Ren was his only real option, not to mention the only alpha available to him who was neither his subordinate nor superior who could knot him and get Hux through his heat.

With further sigh and a heavy heart, Hux got to his feet to and exited his office to seek out his co-commander.

In a bizarre twist of fate, Hux’s life would be entirely in Kylo Ren’s hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing a/b/o dynamics so hopefully it won't be too bad.
> 
> Apologises for the lack of Kylo in this chapter but he'll be appearing in the next one when Hux has no choice (at least that's what he tells himself anyway) to ask for Kylo's help.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are much appreciated. :)
> 
> You can find me on both [tumblr](https://yanyangire.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/yangiretrash).


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thank you so much for all the kudos and especially the lovely comments! They made me very happy. :)
> 
> Honestly didn't expect to get that much interest in this fic so here's hoping that the rest doesn't disappoint!

When Hux showed up outside Ren's door, Ren wasn’t inside his quarters which meant that there was only one other place that he would likely be. Knowing exactly where that was, Hux began to make his way over to one of the training rooms aware that Ren spent a great of his time there whenever he was aboard the Finalizer. Sometimes Hux suspected that Ren actually frequented there more than he did his own rooms. Not that Hux could exactly comment given that he was well aware that he himself spent more time on the bridge or in his office than his actual quarters.

The training room he was heading towards was the largest one on the ship and was intended to be a place where senior officers could use to train and blow off steam when they were off-duty. However, within a cycle or so of being assigned to the Finalizer, Ren had all but claimed it for himself. Aware of his temper and fearful of angering the frightening and mysterious alpha, none of the officers said anything about, choosing to go elsewhere if they wished to exercise.

Hux had brought it up to Ren once only for his concerns to be quickly dismissed. As Hux recalled, Ren had also made some disparaging comment about him never having seen the inside of a gym in his life so what did it matter to him?

Of all the nerve.

While his expertise’s lay elsewhere, he had at least gone through basic training as had every other officer in the Order. It had irked Hux a lot at the time, but truthfully he and Ren so often got into disagreements that Hux decided he would rather put his energy into arguing about something he actually felt strongly about. There was also the fact that dealing with Kylo Ren always required a great deal of energy; something of which he was reminded that he unfortunately had very little of right now.

As he approached his destination, Hux still wasn’t entirely sure that he hadn’t lost his mind in spite of the fact that Ren really was the only option available to him. After all, Ren was the only alpha aboard who held a position of authority on par with his own while still existing out with the First Order military hierarchy. As such he was neither Hux’s superior nor his subordinate. It made him the perfect match.

Hux resented Ren for his rank of co-commander, still believing that he solely should be in command of Finalizer. He still wasn’t quite sure of Leader Snoke’s reasoning for giving them joint command other than perhaps taking a perverse enjoyment out of pitting he and Ren against one and other. In any case, despite his anger, Hux now found himself in a position were having Ren as a co-commander might be only thing standing in the way of him experiencing a very a grim fate indeed. That of course depended on whether Ren agreed to help him or not, something which given the hostile working relationship they shared together wasn’t guaranteed. Truthfully, there was a far more likely chance that Ren would not come to his aid in his most shameful moment of need. And if so, Hux had absolutely no clue what he would do.

Yes, if he refused him, Hux doubted that there was very little he could do to incentivise Ren into changing his mind.

It didn’t help either that he had no knowledge about Ren’s sex life or his proclivities. For all Hux knew Ren had no interest in sex whatsoever. As such, Hux could only hope that Ren actually experienced sexual desire from time-to-time and that even he felt the need for some kind of release. Whether he would want to indulge in it with Hux however was another matter completely.

Hux entered a code into the small control panel on the wall next to the training room causing the door to swoosh open. Despite claiming the place for himself, it appeared that Ren hadn’t bothered to change the access codes for it. Whether it was because he had just forgotten to do so or didn’t think anyone would dare attempt to come in and disturb him which meant that there was really no need, he was unsure. To Hux, both options were just as likely the each other.

Taking a deep breath, his heart hammering in his chest, Hux forced himself to take a step forward, the door swishing closed behind him once he was inside. Quickly scanning the large room Hux was soon reminded of how long it had been since he had last been here. With the wealth of responsibilities on his shoulders, Hux had little time for exercise; something which would be obvious from his physique had it not been from the careful padding of his uniform.

He spotted Ren almost immediately. He wasn’t using any of the training machines but instead was sparring against a number of combat droids that were designed for training purposes. Mostly they were used within the Stormtrooper programme, the droids functioning as stand-ins for enemies in different combat simulations. However, officers too could request them for their own workouts if they so wished. Although admittedly they rarely did.

Ren had gone and reprogrammed many of the combat droids to his own specifications to accommodate his own training regimen, proclaiming that the First Order’s preprogramed droids were far too weak and thus not providing him with an adequate challenge. Given that Hux had actually designed a good number of the programmes for them himself it had been difficult not to take offense even when aware of the vast difference in power that existed between Ren and even one of their most elite Stormtroopers; perhaps other than Phasma that was. 

Hux was relieved to see that rather than combating the droids coming towards him with his lightsaber, Ren was using a wooden practice saber to deflect their attacks instead. When he had first started using droids in his training, he initially fought them with his lightsaber. However Ren had ended up destroying so many that it eventually became an issue. Truly the amount of credits spent on repairing the droids – or having to replace them altogether as was more often the case – had been astronomical.

Hux had been truly shocked when he had first glanced down at the expense report on his desk. While having decided that he hadn’t cared enough about Ren hoarding the room for himself, the expenditure to cover what went on in said room was completely unacceptable. Unsurprisingly, they had gotten into an argument over it, and in his usual fashion, Ren had been completely dismissive towards him. Nevertheless, it hadn’t been something that Hux was willing to let lie. It was only after he highlighted to Ren that he would save a good deal of time and be able to focus more on his training if he wasn’t having to reprogram new droids every other cycle after accidentally destroying them, that Ren actually took note of what he was saying. After that, Ren had switched to a practice saber. Unfortunately given Ren’s immense physical prowess, not to mention his utter lack of restraint, many droids, as well as practice sabers and various equipment were occasionally still lost to Ren’s fury. But at least it was in more manageable levels.

Ren was still mostly clothed in his usual garb, his cloak and helmet being the only things that were absence as he battled against several droid opponents. While Hux assumed that Ren would be more comfortable in workout clothes, he could understand the logic of training in one’s usual attire. After all, it was the same way for Stormtroopers who were required to wear their armour during their training considering that they most definitely would not be going out to battle without it. It was important they get used to the feel and weight of it so it didn’t become a hindrance in actual combat. He assumed that to be Ren’s line of thinking as well as considering Hux had never seen him wearing anything else but usual black attire. In any case, despite being in his robes Ren looked like he hadn’t broken a sweat whatsoever. It was a contrast to Hux who while having left his greatcoat in his office, felt like he was covered in sweat. He really wished he had showered before coming here, but if the last few cycles were any indication, he was likely to start sweating again the moment he exited the shower and dried himself off.

Regardless of his discomfort, Hux chose not to announce himself right away, doubting that considering he was in the middle of a sparring match, that Ren would appreciate the interruption. And as unlikely as it would no doubt be, Hux wanted to at least try and attempt to catch Ren when he wasn’t in a completely foul mood as he always seemed to be whenever Hux interacted with him. Furthermore, if Ren’s abilities were really as all-powerful as he often made them out to be, he would have sensed Hux the moment he had walked through the door whether in the middle of sparring or not. However, thus far, Ren hadn’t glanced over at him even once which meant either he had been vastly overstating his powers as Hux had long suspected, or he was deliberately ignoring him.

Perhaps Ren expected him to become frustrated and give up and leave if he ignored him long enough. If that was the case then Ren would be solely disappointed. Sadly Hux wouldn’t be able to take any pleasure in Ren’s disappointment, very much wanting to do just that himself. His pride however would not permit him to leave even if asking Ren what he was about to ask was paramount to giving up every ounce of self-respect he had ever possessed. 

And so with his hands held behind his back, Hux remained, choosing to wait patiently in spite of the fact that he really should be demanding Ren’s attention given the unpleasant urgency of his situation.

Hux wasn’t sure exactly how much time had passed. He didn’t think it had been too long, but then again he was having some slight difficulty measuring time, something of which he had always been exceptionally good at. In the very least, Ren put on a good show. Hux would never admit it of course, not to Ren nor to anyone else, nonetheless the truth was that he always got a strange thrill out of watching Ren fighting, whether it be with training droids as was the case just now, or actual enemies. The raw physical energy Ren exuded bordered on captivating. Ren was a constant source of frustration for him but there was no denying how strong he was. From the way he looked and held himself to the way he fought, Ren projected the image of the perfect alpha specimen; an ideal that so many aspired to, whether being an alpha themselves or a beta.

Yes, no one would have ever thought to question whether Ren was an alpha. There would be absolutely no doubt.

Ren would never have had to pretend that he was something he was not, secure in his designation as dominant alpha. It was things like that, amongst others that made it difficult to not outright resent the man.

However, right now none of that seemed to matter to him as he continued to observe Ren, enthralled in a way he had never been before. He was so captivated in fact that he found himself completely lost in watching Ren as he defeated his droid opponents one by one with both impressive skill and relative ease. It was incredible. Hux wouldn’t believe anyone who saw Ren fighting and were not immediately awed by him or in the case of his enemies, downright terrified.

It was only when he heard Ren grunt loudly and bring his saber down harshly against the only droid left standing that Hux was shaken from his semi-trance like state and brought back to a harsh and unpleasant reality.

Hux startled, immediately berating himself for appearing to so easily forget why he was even here the first place, and that was to request the alpha’s help in ensuring he didn’t die due to his damned heat. He certainly hadn’t come here to stand there gawking at Ren with such blatant admiration.

Thankfully, Ren hadn’t seemed to notice. However, the fact that he had allowed himself to become so stupidly distracted was a clear indication that not only was his heat becoming more potent by the second but that he was starting to lose a grip on both himself and his priorities. And in a way that was what scared him about his oncoming heat most of all, losing his rationality, becoming a slave to his biological need to mate and caring about nothing else. It was disgraceful and for so long he had fought so hard to escape such a wretched fate. 

“General, I’m surprised to see you here of all places,” said Ren from across the room, finally acknowledging Hux’s presence. “Did you perhaps get lost?”

Hux snorted, quickly regaining composure over himself in the face of having to deal with Ren. “I have every inch of the Finalizer perfectly memorised. I would hardly get lost on my own ship.”

“Don’t you mean _our_ ship?” Ren spoke mockingly as he used his powers to summon one of towels from the other side of the room towards him, “We are both commanders of the Finalizer after all.”

Hux glared at him. Typical. They had been conversing for less than thirty seconds and already Hux wanted nothing more than to throttle the man. It angered Hux that Ren appeared to be more than aware that their co-commandership of the Finalizer was something of a sore spot for him. While he doubted Ren would have been particularly pleased himself when Snoke had informed him of their shared command, when it came down to it, Ren didn’t have the same attachment to the First Order that Hux did. He didn’t appreciate the significance of it all.

“In any case, for you to come here to seek me out like this, whatever you have to say must be important,” mused Ren, pressing his face against the towel and rubbing away the – what appeared to Hux anyway – non-existent sweat from his face.

In the meantime, the droids that weren’t too badly damaged after their sparring match with Ren picked themselves up from the floor and made themselves scarce. For them receiving such a beating would be routine by this point. If Hux hadn’t been so preoccupied, he might have been sympathetic to their plight.

“It is,” admitted Hux as he attempted to rail in his annoyance. It wouldn’t do good for him to snap at Ren and get him angry – something which was ever so easily done – not when he required his actual help for once. Hux however was aware that with who he was having to deal with, it would be no easy task and even more so given the nature of what he was about to discuss.

“Well, are you going to tell me what you want? Does the Supreme Leader require my presence? Is he waiting for me?” questioned Ren impatiently, frustrating Hux. If he really was that concerned, Ren should have asked Hux the moment he arrived then he wouldn’t have to panic about making his glorious master wait. That wasn’t actually the case of course but _still_. Again, the fact that Ren hadn’t done so made Hux question Ren’s so-called ability to reach out and sense people without trying.

“No,” Hux replied simply. Despite the complete nonsensicalness of it and the fact that it would be completely mortifying, a part of him wished that Snoke had been the one to order him to come here. Unable to disobey his master’s commands, it would have made Hux’s job of convincing Ren to help him much easier.

“Then what is it?” asked Ren, his tone switching to one of disinterest now knowing that Snoke wasn’t requesting his presence, “Surely whatever it is, your men should be able to handle it considering you’re always going on about how exceptionally trained they all are.”

“They _are_ exceptionally trained,” retorted Hux defensively. FN-2187 had been a fluke, and his defection and acts of sabotage was something that Hux would strive to ensure never happened again. While the First Order’s Stormtrooper programme may have come into being under the guidance of a man he despised, Hux valued its importance deeply. He would defend its functionality and worth to the bitter end.

“Sadly much to my great misfortune, what I’m about to ask is something only you can help me,” Hux confessed in spite of how much it pained him to admit it.

“Oh?”

“It’s a…” Hux paused, stopping to take a deep breath. “It’s something of a personal request actually.”

Ren looked momentarily surprised. However the expression was quickly replaced by a smirk. “If it’s something my master hasn’t ordered of me and of no benefit to the First Order considering its personal, why should I go out of my way to do anything to help you?” Ren questioned as he tossed the towel he had been using aside with little regard to where it landed.

Hux gritted his teeth. The most frustrating thing was that Ren had a point. Why should he help Hux? They certainly weren’t friends and could scarcely tolerate each other on the best of days. Hux doubted that he would even listen to Ren’s request for help if their situations were reversed, let alone actually do it.

“Still, I am curious of what it is that _only I_ can help you with,” said Ren sounding ridiculously smug. It was infuriating.

“It may be a personal request but that doesn’t mean it isn’t of any benefit to the Order.” Yes. After all, that’s the only reason why he was here in the first place. The First Order couldn’t afford to lose a man like him, especially not in its current state. It needed him.

“I suppose I’ll have to be the judge of that.”

Hux sighed. The headache he has been nursing since leaving Fahey’s office was growing worse. “Is there someplace private we could go to discuss it?”

“Why? There’s no one else here,” replied Ren, “Nor will there be anyone else showing up.”

It was true, but the vastness and openness of the room left Hux feeling strangely exposed. It was something he could only attribute to his oncoming heat given that he had never felt this way while being here before, nor any of the other training rooms for that matter. In fact right now he had an intense desire to return to his quarters as quickly as he possibly could, the one place where he knew he would be safe.

But he couldn’t admit such a thing to Ren. Hux knew already that the other man found him to be _weak_ , and he didn’t want to do anything that would further reinforce Ren’s demeaning view of him. Then again, would it be worse than confessing that he was an omega, something that by many would be considered the ultimate affirmation of vulnerability and impotence?

A man like Kylo Ren would surely hold that mindset; probably loathed omegas immensely seeing them as far beneath a powerful alpha such as himself. And yet here he had been just about to admit to being one to him, and not only that, but asking him to spend his heat with him.

There was no longer any reason for Hux to question if he had lost his sanity, from the moment he had made the decision to come here there was absolutely no doubt that he had. He was clearly compromised and as such needed to get away from here as quickly as possible and back to his quarters.

“Well?” Ren snapped, Hux having not given him a reply. The anger in Ren’s tone made Hux flinch. Once he would have scoffed at him, not caring in the slightest for Ren’s theatrics, being more than used to it after years of having to deal with him. But now he felt genuine fear towards him. Internally, Hux cursed himself. How could he have been so woefully stupid as to approach Ren, an unstable alpha of all people.

“I –” Hux started to take a step back. Since realising that revealing that he was an omega to Ren was probably not the best course of action, he had no idea what to say to in order to cover for his uncharacteristic skittish behaviour. Ren, meanwhile, appearing to have lost what little patience he had with Hux started to make his way across the room towards him. That’s when it hit Hux all at once.

Ren’s scent.

It was overwhelming and almost immediately, Hux started to feel his knees buckle from beneath him. He just barely managed to reach out to the wall in time and steady himself while clamping his other hand over his nose and mouth to lessen the overpowering smell of the alpha now less than ten feet away from him.

One of the advantages of being on suppressants was that as well as masking his own natural omega pheromones from lurking alphas, it too helped shield him from having to deal with the scents of others. But now with his suppressants having stopped working, Hux felt as if his nostrils were being assaulted, and his body in kind, unused to such a strong smell was crumbling in the face of it. Somehow he had managed to cope with the unusual intensity of the smells around him these past several days, believing that it was simply an effect of whatever illness he was suffering, despite how nonsensical explanation it was when examined rationally. And for what felt like the millionth time, he cursed himself for his ignorance.

“Hey, are you okay?” Ren asked him, Hux too focused on trying to repel the smell and on his ever-increasing anxiety to take notice of the unusual note of concern in his co-commander’s voice.

Hux let out a noise that rested somewhere between a moan and a whimper as he took another several steps backwards, his spine now pressed hard against the wall as his hand remained clamped over his nose and mouth

Ren’s brow furrowed, evidently baffled by Hux’s sudden desperation to flee from him. “What in the hell is wrong with you? Why are you acting like some terrified little –”

And that’s when it finally hit Ren. Just as Hux had been barraged all at once by Ren’s smell, now Ren was getting a whiff of Hux’s own omegan scent. Hux supposed that saved him from answering Ren’s unfinished question.

The knight stopped dead in his tracks, staring at Hux as if he had just grown an extra limb –which while possible for some species, was definitely not the case for humans. Ren’s surprise was a bizarre sight to behold and at any other time Hux was sure that he would have taken great pleasure in seeing Ren’s shocked expression, gaping dumbly at him in a way that Hux wouldn’t have thought possible. But right now he had far more important things so focus on.

“You…You’re an _omega_?”

Although he sounded completely taken aback, Ren hadn’t balked at his scent and immediately tried to move away from him as Hux had done. Unlike him, Ren wasn’t incapacitated his scent. That made sense thought Hux. Ren didn’t use suppressants, having never had any reason to hide what he was. As such, he would be more than used to smelling other alphas as well as omegas, putting Hux at an even further disadvantage.

Back still pressed up against the wall, Hux squeezed his eyes shut tightly, despairing heavily and silently pleading for Ren to walk away and leave him be. He knew he wouldn’t get his wish of course. Any moment now he would come to hear an onslaught of abusive words and mocking laughter coming from Ren. Then again perhaps there would be no laughter at all. Just as Hux suspected how his fellow officers would react if they ever learned that they had been passed up for promotion in lieu of an omega, maybe Ren upon discovering that his ‘rival’ for his precious master’s attention was in fact an omega, there would only be furious indignation and anger. Ren could physically lash out at him and Hux would be powerless to defend himself.

But no matter what happened, it didn’t change the fact that Hux felt utterly humiliated.

“Hey, uh, just try and breathe, okay?” Hux heard Ren say when he failed to answer him once again, “Everything, it’s…everything’s going to be alright.”

Absolutely nothing about this was in the slightest bit okay. But more importantly, it almost sounded as if Ren were trying to reassure him; to get him to calm down. Surely that couldn’t be the case, could it? Such a thing didn’t make any sense. Why wasn’t Ren shouting at and mocking him? Why hadn’t he lost his temper the way he always so easily seemed to do so?

“Hux, move your hand away from your mouth,” Ren instructed and tentatively Hux did as he was told. Whether it was down to Ren, an alpha, ordering him to do it or a genuine physical need for more oxygen, Hux wasn’t sure. Regardless, he pulled his hand away from his face.

“Good. Just take a few deep breaths. You’ll start to get used to the…well, to my scent, in a few minutes or so,” Ren assured him before quietly mumbling under his breath, “I, uh, think so anyway.”

Hearing that didn’t instil Hux with much confidence but thankfully, Ren turned out to be right. A few minutes passed by and eventually Hux found himself able to breathe more easily. Ren’s powerful alpha scent was still undoubtably present, but fortunately it was no longer quite so stifling. Hux also discovered that his fear was starting to ease up somewhat upon realising that Ren wasn’t going to lash out and hurt him. Or well, that appeared to be the case anyway.

Nevertheless, Hux didn’t plan on letting his guard down anytime soon; something he so rarely did even when he was perfectly secure and had very little to worry about.

Leaning back against the wall, he let out a deep sigh.

“You feeling better now then?” Ren asked in a tone of voice that was a far cry from his usual one even without the vocoder in his helmet undulating it. If Hux didn’t know any better, he would have thought that Ren even sounded concerned.

While Hux had opened his eyes back up, he had yet to actually look at Ren properly, fearing what kind of expression Ren would be wearing. Furthermore, after what Ren had just witnessed, how could Hux possibly bring himself to look him in the face ever again?

But Hux knew he couldn’t avoid looking at him forever. Impossible logistics aside, Hux felt that he owed Ren an answer to at least one of his questions today. 

“I am,” said Hux somewhat shakily, forcing himself to finally glance over towards Ren. He looked uneasy, likely still reeling from the revelation that the man he had been working beside – and in some cases, even against – these past five years was in fact an omega.

Again, had it been any other time, Hux would have taken immense pleasure in catching Ren off-guard, but presently he was feeling equally as uncomfortable as he was. Or more so as was almost certainly the case.

The distance between them was smaller now, although there still remained a good few feet of space between them, something of which Hux was grateful for. 

“That’s good,” Ren replied awkwardly. 

Feeling that he owed Ren more that, Hux then offered two words that he had never spoken before. Well, at least not to Ren anyway.

“Thank you.”

Hux didn’t know if he was thanking Ren for helping Hux to compose himself and to regain his breath or whether it was because Ren hadn’t reacted in any of the numerous ways Hux had feared he might when he had finally came to senses and realised that approaching a volatile alpha like Ren to help him with his heat was probably not the wisest decision he could have made.

“I don’t understand. How is this even possible?” Ren asked bewilderedly, looking him up and down as if he no longer quite recognised him. Hux supposed he couldn’t blame him for suddenly seeing him in a different light. “How long have you been an omega for?”

“ _How long_? Why, always. I was born this way, of course,” retorted Hux, scoffing at the absurdity of the question. While it was true that people could mask their designations with various medications and products, they certainly couldn’t change it – much to Hux’s eternal disappointment. As Doctor Fahey had put it, people could only _manage_ their biology. Something of which until today, Hux had thought he had been doing a perfectly good job of. But alas, apparently not.

Ren’s brow furrowed in annoyance, not appearing to be impressed with Hux’s answer, or as was more likely the case, the derisive way Hux had answered him.

Realising this, Hux was quickly reminded of the precariousness of his situation and so attempting a more deferential tone – although most definitely not submissive – he said, “That is, I first presented as an omega –” He blanched slightly, still hating saying the word out loud in regards to himself, “– a few years after I reached puberty.”

Yes. He had been a bit of a late-bloomer, even by omega standards. Most alphas on the other hand tended to present early. It was almost as if their bodies just couldn’t wait to show off to the galaxy just how superior they were compared to everybody else. And yet still a young boy, years before he had even reached puberty and with no defining biological marker that would reveal what he was, his father had given up any notion of his son being an alpha.

_“I know your nature Armitage, and you are certainly no alpha. No true alpha could be as weak a creature as you.”_

Hux didn’t think however that his father could have possibly conceived that his only son would turn out to be an omega.

Regardless of Brendol’s certainty that he wasn’t an alpha, a pre-adolescent Hux had continued on secretly hoping that his father was incorrect, that he really would present as one when the time finally came. Perhaps if he did his father might finally start to regard him as less of a nuisance and disappointment as he was forever reminding him. Who knew, maybe Brendol would start treating him with even the smallest modicum of respect.

However, despite his deep-seated yearning, a short period after a number of his fellow cadets presented as alphas – and all in quick succession of one and other at that – Hux gave up hoping, resigning himself to being a mere beta. While disappointed, it was far from the worst thing to happen. There was no shame in it what with the majority of human beings in the galaxy being betas after all; alphas and omegas making up only a small minority by comparison.

As a teenager, Hux quickly came to realise that being a beta did in fact have its advantages. For starters it fit perfectly with the First Order’s mindset that conformity and adherence to the norm were important factors in bringing order and stability to the galaxy and that any deviation from those values would inevitably lead to chaos as was evident with the New Republic running things. Additionally, for betas there was no need to be concerned about suddenly losing control of oneself and going into a rut as was the case for alphas. Betas were in control of their own bodies, not having to be worried about being overcome by such perverse urges to mate no matter how inconvenient the timing.

Betas were also more dependable and able to fully dedicate themselves to their jobs. An alpha on the other hand, or a mated alpha at least, would often need to forgo their duties to tend to their omega whenever they went into heat. While it was true that heats through the use of suppressants could be scheduled for more convenient periods and although the First Order accepted that an alpha having to leave their stations was an unfortunate, yet unavoidable necessity, it still didn’t change the fact that precious time would be lost when alphas had to take time away from their duties to focus on their mewling mates.

Betas of course didn’t have such problems. Although occasionally some – generally foolish and wannabe alphas – still mated with omegas. Those betas aside, betas overall made for the better officers when it came to efficiency, able to dedicate themselves to both the First Order and their partner’s, not having to choose between; something that could most certainly be an issue in times of crisis. At least when betas put the Order first, they didn’t have to worry about their mate suffering due to their absence. Meanwhile with alphas, both biology and their own emotions often got in the way of their duties. Hux thusly came to the conclusion that rather than being looked upon with admiration, alphas were in fact liabilities.

With such knowledge, Hux fully intended on utilising the advantages of being a beta to surpass his alpha peers; arrogant fools who were so convinced of their own superiority that they wouldn’t give him a second thought nor see him as the threat he would become to those who at all stood in his way.

Secure in his designation, the possibility that he may actually be an omega rather than a beta was something that had never even crossed Hux’s mind.

A part of Hux put it down to male omegas being something of a rarity much like the red colouring of his hair – the major difference of course being that one’s hair colour could be changed with relative ease.

While people were aware that male omegas existed and were likely to run into one at some point during their lifetimes, they were still far from being the norm, especially within the First Order.

Another reason behind why Hux hadn’t considered it a possibility for himself to be an omega was that sex-education classes at the academy weren’t exactly considered a high-priority matter for discussion. The ones Hux had attended had been incredibly brief and focused on the things that the majority of cadets had some general awareness of all ready, lacking any new or insightful information. Alas, with little interest in sex at the time – as was the case now to be honest, his present predicament aside – Hux hadn’t been fussed, much more content with directing his attention towards matters that he considered to be of actual importance.

While the signs of what to look out for and what to expect if you were to present as an alpha were taught, omegas were largely absent from any discussion. There was no talk whatsoever about the symptoms associated with presenting as an omega such as the intense hormonal changes one’s body went through in preparation for their very first heat. Overall, there appeared to be an incorrect presumption that none of the cadets would present as one. As such, the only real mention of omegas was what to do if you were an alpha and happened to come across one in heat. That in itself was highly unlikely as any proper omega on the cusp of a heat would most definitely not be wandering about outside were any alpha could easily get to them. Any respectable omega – which was ironic in itself as they were treated with almost zero respect by alphas – would have confined themselves to their living quarters cycles before their heat was due in preparation. Often this would be under the supervision of their alpha, or if they weren’t mated yet, then usually a family member; preferably an alpha of course.

Whilst not outright said in class, it was heavily implied that an omega’s only purpose was to find an alpha to mate and bond with. Once they had, they would go on to carry their alpha’s offspring; offspring who would then go on to serve the First Order in some capacity. Other than that, what else was there really left to say about them? An omegas value came down to one thing and one thing only.

There had been a girl in one of Hux’s classes, a reasonably capable student and a good shot with a blaster if he recalled correctly. Generally praised by their instructors, she appeared on track to have a promising military career ahead of her. But then one day she simply stopped showing up to lessons. Overhearing some of girls in the class talking, she also appeared to have vanished from their shared dormitory as well. Her absence and disappearance hadn’t been commented on by any of their instructors, it only being when one male cadet – who Hux suspected more than likely had a crush on her – finally mustered up the courage to ask where she was that there was any acknowledgement of it by the adults in charge. The instructor who was asked had clearly been annoyed by the question, simply replying that she had left the academy and would not be returning.

Thus they were given no explanation as to why she had gone away, and no one, not even the cadet who had brought her absence up in the first place, had the courage to ask any more questions. However, the mere fact that they weren’t being told why implied that something horrible or outright shameful must have occurred. This was particularly likely as at that point the First Order was still in dire need of as many children as it could acquire to help see in the new era. Particularly a competent cadet like her.

At the time, Hux had thought very little of it. All it meant for him really was that there was one less person for him to have to contend with. While some cadets acted friendly enough towards each other, they were still all in competition to succeed and get noticed by their instructors in order to jumpstart their careers as officers. It was something that Hux forever kept in the forefront of his mind.

In the end, it was only when Hux saw the girl by chance some years later standing demurely next to a young nameless Captain with his arm around her that he realised the reason behind why she had stopped attending classes.

She was an _omega._

And as an omega she no longer had any business being there in the academy. The moment it was revealed what she was, her training as an officer would have come to a swift end. The captain meanwhile must have been her mate. An alpha, of course.

It was tragic really and on closer inspection, Hux saw she appeared to be sporting the beginnings of what was clearly a baby bump. Having presented already as an omega himself by that point in time, Hux’s entire body had gone completely rigid when he saw and recognised who she was.

Once he had regained his senses and motor functions, it had taken absolutely everything in Hux’s power not to bolt away from both her and her mate. Thankfully he was able to compose himself enough that instead he continued on walking, making his way onwards to his post.

While seeing her again had shaken Hux to his very core, it did help serve to remind him that he needed to do everything he possibly could to make sure that no one discovered what he was. If anyone but his father had discovered him after he presented, then it could have just as easily have been him there standing there next to the young Captain, reduced to nothing more than a broodmare.

To say that he had been devastated when he had gone into the early stages of pre-heat and realised that he was omega and not a beta, would be a massive understatement. He had been terrified at the time, having absolutely no clue what was happening to him and why his body was reacting the way it was, the symptoms not having been fully made clear to him before.

Almost twenty years on and apparently nothing had changed there. All he had known back then was that his body had chosen to betray him.

He had been able to fix it but once again it was choosing to rebel against him. And in this instance, there was only one way for him to get through it.

“Since I presented I’ve been taking suppressants regularly to help manage the more inconvenient aspects that come with being a…well, what I am,” Hux continued on, shame once again welling up inside of him now that his fear had mostly subsided.

Ren frowned, looking somewhat sceptical. “But I’ve known you for five years now and I’ve never once detected the scent of an omega from you.”

“Yes, well, the deodorants and soaps that I use have a side-effect of dampening my natural scent so that’s probably why,” Hux replied hurriedly, attempting to brush off Ren’s doubts in the hope that he wouldn’t click that his scent being masked wasn’t a mere side-effect but the exact reason why he used such products in the first place.

“Not now though,” said Ren.

Hux sighed wearily. “No. Not now.”

Ren hummed thoughtfully. “All this time I thought you were just another one of those sad little betas who were angry and resentful about having not been born an alpha, when really you’ve been an omega this entire time.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being beta,” Hux snapped defensively, “There are plenty of benefits to being one. Advantages that in many instances make them far more capable than their alpha counterparts. For starters they don’t have to worry about ruts and needing to take time off to deal with them or their mate’s heats.”

Ren however appeared unconvinced by his words. “And what about the advantages of being an omega?” he challenged.

Hux opened his mouth to reply before slowly closing it again.

There weren’t any. There wasn’t a single advantage whatsoever to being one. And unfortunately, that’s what he really was. Yet here he stood defending the integrity and value of betas when it wasn’t even his true designation. Somehow in spite of the situation he was in of which should make it nigh impossible for him to forget that he was an omega, he still found it difficult to disentangle himself from the beta identity he had managed to carve out for himself for all these years. It wasn’t something Hux wanted to let go of. But if he wanted to survive then he would have no choice but to relinquish it. At least until this was all over with.

“You’re about to go into heat, right?” said Ren, this time seeming unbothered that Hux hadn’t answered his question.

Hux’s eyes widened, Ren’s words awakening him from his self-pitying thoughts. “Wha – How did you –”

“I can smell it on you of obviously,” snorted Ren. Apparently it was Hux’s turn to be treated like an idiot for asking a ridiculous question. “I could tell the moment I started making my way towards you and got a good whiff of you.” Hux cringed at Ren’s turn of phrase.

“In any case, those deodorants and soaps you use must be really strong,” mused Ren.

Alas, not strong enough however, Hux thought miserably.

“Normally I should have been able to smell you the second you walked through that door.”

“And what about now?”

“Now, it’s impossible for me to ignore your scent even if I wanted to,” stated Ren coolly. 

An absurd part of Hux wanted to ask Ren the ridiculous question of whether he actually smelled bad. He had always been so meticulous with his cleanliness that the thought of some awful stench emanating from him made him deeply uncomfortable.

Hux quickly chided himself for concern over it considering that after everything, such a thing should be the very least of his worries. Not that he was likely to smell awful. Or that’s what he hoped anyway, as while the scent of omegas were unique to each individual one, the smell itself was designed to attract the attention of alphas so they would want to mate with them. Therefore, it wouldn’t do very well for the scent to be unpleasant.

As such, Hux couldn’t help but wondering how he smelled to Ren, an alpha. Did Ren find his scent alluring, or did the fact that it belonged to Hux, a man he was so often at odds with, taint the smell? Could personal feelings actually influence such things?

Truthfully Hux had no idea. In spite of his efforts to keep his real designation hidden all these years, he hadn’t looked into such factors in any great detail. After all, he never had any intention of ever being around someone who personally knew him or was even just aware of who he was should he go through a heat. Because of that, it had seemed rather pointless to delve into such things.

Nevertheless, regardless of how he smelled to Ren, he couldn’t deny that Ren smelt good to him; incredible even.

Was it just Ren or did all alphas smell this way?

Either way, he knew that if he were to let his guard down for even a mere second, he would surely get lost easily in the alpha’s powerful musky scent. It was so tempting that it made Hux want to rush towards the other man and press himself up against Ren’s strong and muscular chest; to then have Ren wrap his arms around and hold him close. Both Ren himself and his scent would encompass Hux in a way that made him feel undeniably safe and then he would –

Hux quickly ejected himself from his thoughts, putting an end to such a ludicrous fantasy.

Curses. He was getting distracted again. His damn omega urges were attempting to take over his thoughts and dictate his actions like some kind of horrendous parasitic creature that could control its host’s actions.

Hux couldn’t let such urges get the better of him. He needed to focus; needed to find a way to get through this somehow with his mind perfectly intact.

Hux wanted to clamp his hand back over his nose and mouth so he wouldn’t need to smell Ren anymore. But he resisted, not wanting to call attention to how much Ren’s scent was really affecting him, particularly as Ren who despite saying that it was now impossible for him to ignore Hux’s scent anymore, still appeared wholly unphased by it.

He didn’t want to show any further weakness or vulnerability in front of Ren. Hux had done that enough already to last him a lifetime, and that was when he had yet to even ask Ren what he had come here request his help with. 

“I have to say, I’m surprised, General. It was reckless of you to come all the way here when you’re so close to your heat. Wilfully putting yourself in danger like this, it’s not like you,” said Ren disapprovingly.

Hux frowned at Ren’s assessment. “What are you talking about? Putting myself in danger?” Yes, it was hardly the ideal situation walking around like this when he was feeling so awful but he hardly thought –

Hux suddenly tensed, taking a step back, fear once again rising up within him as he realised just what it might be that Ren was suggesting.

Hux didn’t think that he had ever behaved so cowardly in front of someone else, at least not since he was a child. But then again he had never been in a position such as this before.

“Wait, are you threatening me? You’re not going to try and –”

“What? Of course not!” retorted Ren appearing slightly aghast, seeming to realise what Hux was referring to. “I’m just saying do you really think it’s wise walking around like this when there are so many alphas lurking everywhere?”

Hux may have relaxed somewhat at the knowledge that Ren wasn’t going to harm him if he hadn’t been so annoyed by what Ren appeared to be suggesting.

Hux frowned. “This is _my_ ship. I can go wherever I damn well please.”

“That may be so, but if another alpha where to move too close and get a whiff of you smelling the way you are right now then who’s to say that they wouldn’t –”

“In case you’ve forgotten, every alpha aboard this vessel, along with every single other officer and stormtrooper is under _my_ command,” retorted Hux angrily, bristling at Ren’s insinuation that his men would suddenly lose control of themselves and try to…well, do what alphas of questionable character did were they to encounter an omega in heat.

Hux may not have the highest opinions of alphas and their varying capabilities when it came to being able to restrain themselves in the presence of omegas, but he trusted his officers. Just as the soldiers in the Stormtrooper program, so too were the officers within the First Order impeccably trained.

There was also the fact that omega or not, he was still their superior officer and the highest ranking member of the First Order aboard. The chain of command was highly valued and anyone who tried do something that would harm him in any way would essentially be signing their own death warrant.

“I may be an omega,” said Hux, forcing himself to say the word aloud this time, “But my men would gladly lay down their lives for me.”

When it came to stormtroopers, there was absolutely no question about it, it being what they were raised to do, but as for ranked officers, it was less of a given. Nonetheless, Hux was certain that many of them, particularly the ones who showed strong dedication towards him would do so if needed be.

Hux wanted to believe that they would do the same even if they learned that he was an omega, but such questions could be pondered upon at a later time. “They would never do anything that went against my orders or to bring any harm to me.”

However, once again Ren didn’t look convinced, prompting Hux to continue.

“And if they so happened to attempt something with me as you are _so crudely_ implying, I would execute them right there on the spot myself.”

With his blaster attached to his hip and his monomolecular blade hidden up his sleeve, Hux would defend himself with absolutely everything he had. Or at least he hoped that would be the case and that his omegan instincts wouldn’t take over his mind and body so that he would allow himself to be…

Hux shuddered. No. He couldn’t think about such a dire scenario.

_Focus_ , he yelled internally, berating himself once more.

“Just because you’ve discovered that I’m actually an omega, doesn’t mean that all of a sudden I’ve become completely helpless! I’m still a General in the First Order. I demand respect,” declared Hux, switching his attention back to his frustration with Ren in general, it being a far better thing to focus on than the alternative.

“Oh, don’t mistake me, General. You being an omega has nothing to do with how I view you. Omega or not, I’ve always thought you were helpless,” mocked Ren, “And unlike your little toadies, you can’t command me to respect you. You’d actually have to be worthy of achieving something meaningful to be entitled to that.”

Hux clenched his fists at his sides, forcing himself to bite his tongue less he anger Ren and say something that he came to regret. Unlike the man before him, he was capable of exercising a certain level of restraint. And although he knew already that Ren didn’t respect him, to hear him say it so blatantly and with no regard whatsoever still stung.

“If you’re wondering why I’m questioning you about walking about the ship, I just thought that most omegas, at least here in the First Order, tend to sequester themselves away when their heats were due,” Ren continued, “From what I gathered, it’s just as much out of some shame inherent to omegas than actual practicality. And with your strict adherence to order and rules, written or otherwise, naturally I assumed you would follow suit with your fellow omegas.”

_Fellow omegas_. Hux had only just been reminded that he was one – let alone acknowledging them – a couple of hours ago. He felt no sort of kinship towards them whatsoever.

“Yes, well. I’m not just _any_ omega, am I?” barked Hux, “I am the –” He paused for a moment, proceeding to correct himself before Ren got the chance to and act smugly about it, “I am _a commander_ of this ship. I can hardly abandon my duties and spend cycles hiding away in my quarters. What kind of example would that send to the crew? I have people who depend on me. I can’t just suddenly disappear!”

Between Ren and Doctor Fahey, Hux was becoming truly sick of people telling him or at least implying what he should or should not be doing. It was frustrating beyond belief. After all, surely Hux himself should know what was best for him? It was _his_ life and _his_ body.

“Wait. Don’t tell me you’re actually planning on trying to work through your heat?” said Ren, his tone once more resembling something that could possibly be mistaken for concern.

Hux of course knew better.

“What? Of course, I’m going to –” Hux stopped. No. That would be a lie. Hiding away in his quarters for the duration of his heat was the only thing he could do. But much to his continued dismay, it wasn’t something he could do alone. He needed someone there with him and he needed that person to be Ren.

Nonetheless, he had hoped to at least put it off and keep on working for as long as possible. But alas, if his scent really was that potent he really couldn’t continue his duties for much longer and risk having one of his alpha officers realise that he wasn’t a beta as he had always presented himself to be.

“Well, I was intending on not returning to my quarters just before my heat hit if possible. However, I…” Hux sighed, feeling defeated. “While I’m not at all concerned about any of the alphas onboard losing control of themselves and attempting something just because I happen to be nearby, it still wouldn’t do well for my scent to linger around and distract them. To prevent them from fulfilling their duties.”

And more importantly to alert them to his true designation. But of course he left that part unsaid.

“You were right, Ren,” conceded Hux, saying words he never thought he would ever utter. But he needed to get back to trying to placate Ren.

“Continuing my duties when I smell this way and am so close to my heat is just not appropriate. Sooner or later I’ll become a hindrance rather than a valuable asset,” Hux admitted reluctantly, recalling just how much he had been struggling over these past few cycles. While he had still managed to carry out his responsibilities, once his symptoms worsened and he went into an actual heat, he would be no use to anyone. Time was running out.

“Hux, your scent distracting people, that wasn’t what I have a problem with. It’s –”

“I will return to my quarters once I’ve finished here,” Hux continued, accidentally speaking over Ren and missing what he had said.

However, upon realising that he had, Hux immediately requested that Ren repeat himself, curious. But for whatever reason, Ren looked somewhat caught off guard when questioned about it.

That was at least before his expression morphed into one of which could only be described as disdainful.

“I _said_ that I’m glad that you’re finally beginning to see some sense, General,” Ren berated as he folded his arms over that frustratingly broad chest of his that made Hux feel ever so small in comparison. 

Hux glowered at him. Even when he was agreeing with him about something, at his _own expense_ no less, Ren still just had to be a massive prick about everything. The man was truly insufferable.

“In any case, you do realise that the ship won’t collapse into chaos just because you have to take a few cycles off.”

“I know that,” Hux scoffed. “My officers are dedicated and I expect them to carry out their responsibilities in the most exceptional manner, whether I’m present or not.” It was true. He was proud of all his officers. Or well, most of them. Sadly however, it didn’t make him feel any more at ease about having to spend any time away from the bridge.

“As for a few cycles, I have no intention of taking that length of time away from my duties. A single cycle will suffice.”

Ren snorted. “Don’t tell me that you’re really that foolish and naïve? You know that a single cycle won’t be enough time for you to both go through your heat and to recover from the effects of it, right?”

“And what makes you such a bloody expert on omega biology?” Hux bit back angrily, completely fed up with Ren’s condescending attitude. It was nothing new exactly but given the topic of conversation it was far more infuriating than usual making it difficult to remain calm.

From the research he had conducted not long after he had first presented, he was at least aware that some omegas could find themselves incapacitated by their heats for days on end. In some instances it could even be up to a week or more. That however, tended to be in the more severe cases. Others, meanwhile, could recover from their heat more quickly, and Hux very much intended to be a part of that group of omegas.

Once his heat was out of the way, he didn’t care how awful he felt. He would force himself out of his quarters and crawl all the way to the bridge on his hands and knees if he had to.

“I didn’t say that I was an expert. It’s just that unlike you, I’m aware of rudimentary biological facts,” Ren replied, utterly patronising, “You clearly overestimate yourself far too much if you think you’ll be able to return to work so quickly after your heat. I’m surprised at you, Hux. I thought you would have had something as vital as this planned out better.”

Both fury and shame surged through Hux in equal measure, his mind and body torn between physically lashing out at Ren or simply breaking down into tears; neither of which were advisable, albeit for different reasons.

Fortunately however, Hux did neither of those things, instead settling for some place in-between, lashing out at Ren verbally and managing to hold back his tears.

“I don’t know why I even bothered coming here!” shouted Hux angrily, finally having had enough. “Honestly I have no idea what I expected would happen when I sought you out for help. I was truly a fool for thinking you of all people would willingly assist me when trying to have even a brief civilised conversation is completely impossible.”

Closing his eyes, Hux placed a hand over his face and took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “I really have lost my mind, thinking that you would actually…”

“Hux, I –” Ren began, but Hux refused to allow him to continue, not caring to hear any more of his abuse.

Dropping his hand from his face, he levelled Ren with one final glare. “Well, Ren, I going to do what you mocked me for not doing sooner and am sequestering myself in my quarters. I no longer care what happens to me. If my body can’t handle it and I die, then so be it!” Hux declared decisively, “It’s better than remaining here for one second longer in your insufferable presence! Better than allowing myself to be subjected to further insults.”

Hux gritted his teeth. “I have enough dignity within me that I’m not just going to stand here and take it.”

Internally, Hux knew that all of his dignity was gone. Nonetheless, it wasn’t something he wanted Ren to know, not wanting to give the man the satisfaction of thinking that he had been the one to strip him of it. However, in truth Hux felt like it was something that he would never be able to recover, even if he did somehow get through his heat unscathed.

In the meantime, with his mind firmly made up, Hux turned from Ren and began to walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally longer but was becoming quite lengthy so decided it was probably for the best to split it up into two. In any case, thank you for reading! And feel free to prod me on [tumblr](https://yanyangire.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/yangiretrash). :)


	3. Chapter 3

Leaving had at least been Hux’s intention when suddenly he felt something – or rather _someone_ – grab a hold of his arm in turn holding him in place and preventing him from taking another step forward. 

Hux’s eyes widened at the abrupt and unexpected contact, his nostrils once again being immediately assaulted with Ren’s scent. Now with Ren right there next to him within his personal space, the smell was even more overpowering than it had been the first time he experienced it. Feeling lightheaded, Hux squeezed his eyes shut as if that would somehow make Ren’s scent – or even Ren himself – magically disappear.

Despite the effects it was having on him, Hux forced himself to stand steady. He refused to crumble down onto his knees in front of Ren. He may be an omega, but he refused to kneel before anyone. Not anymore. And especially not after how far he had come since he was a frightened weak-willed child.

“What do you mean if your body can’t handle it and you die?!” demanded Ren, still grasping hold of Hux’s arm, “What exactly are you trying to saying?”

“That’s none of your concern!” Hux shot back as he continued to force himself to stand upright. He did so while trying in vain to yank his arm out of Ren’s stupidly strong grip.

“Let go of me, you ingrate!” ordered Hux, his arm now hurting as he continued struggling to pull it free. Honestly, wasn’t it enough that Ren with those mystical force abilities of his was already powerful without him having to be physically strong as well?

“No. Not until you tell me what you meant by what you just said,” retorted Ren, appearing to have absolutely no intention of letting Hux walk away from him.

“Why do you wish to know so badly? So, you can continue to berate and try to humiliate me even further!?” Hux spat. “Haven’t you done enough of that already?”

So much for not letting Ren know how much his words had really affected him, he thought miserably.

Why couldn’t Ren just leave it? Just let him be? In the five years that they had been working together, Ren had never reached out to grab a hold of him. While Ren would occasionally get what Hux considered to be too close to him, there had been no actual physical contact between them. Neither had ever verbally harassed him. At least not to an extent such as just there. 

The only real difference between the past and their current situation was that Ren now happened to be aware that Hux was omega and not a beta as he had always believed him to be.

Clearly Ren had it in that thick skull of his, that as an alpha, it gave him free reign to grab a hold of and harass Hux however he damned well pleased. It was typical alpha behaviour and as such, rather unsurprising in the grand scheme of things. Of course a man like Kylo Ren would subscribe to such horrendously outdated sexist nonsense.

And yet again, Hux found himself remined of the true futility of what it meant to be an omega in the eyes of others. This was how they were treated.

Ren shook his head. “No. I don’t want to humiliate. That’s not what –” Ren paused for a moment. “I just…I need to know why. What it is exactly that you think would cause your death.”

“What good would knowing do you? Is it because you want to visualise it and are wanting some kind of authenticity as you imagine it?” challenged Hux.

“What? No! Of course not!” replied Ren, aghast, “I would never want to –” 

“Or perhaps you just want to know exactly when it’ll occur so you can barge into my quarters and watch it as it happens?”

Hux scoffed. “I’m sure a sick man like you would get a real thrill out of that.”

“You’re wrong,” retorted Ren. “Look, before that, you said that I could help you.”

“That’s why you came to find me, right?” Ren added when Hux didn’t reply.

Hux looked downwards. “Well, I was wrong about that. Didn’t you hear me when I said that I’d clearly lost my mind by coming here? Now that I’ve acknowledged that unfortunate fact, there would be no point whatsoever in staying.

“No, there has to be something. Tell me how I can help you,” urged Ren, a puzzling sort of desperation having crept into his voice.

Until today, Hux had no idea that Ren was capable of demonstrating such a wide array of emotions. And with his helmet off revealing his face, he seemed all the more expressive. It was jarring to say the least.

“Please Hux. I…If I can help you, I promise that I will.”

Hux snorted, albeit weakly. “Don’t agree to help someone when you don’t even have any idea of what it is that they’re going to ask you to do, you fool.”

Realising what he had said, Hux immediately tensed, half-expecting Ren to roughly tighten his hold on his arm for his disrespectful comment. But to Hux’s surprise, there was no change in the pressure there.

Ren wasn’t Brendol, Hux reminded himself; his father having occasionally squeezed his arm so hard that it ended up causing unpleasant bruising that had always stood out harshly against his pale skin.

Thankfully his cadet uniform had always kept it hidden from view. Not that it mattered, he supposed. He could easily say that he got it sparring with one of his classmates during basic combat training. And even if they didn’t believe him, no one would have done anything about it. No, Rae Sloane had been the only person to challenge Brendol about his treatment of his son. And even then she had only done so as Hux had something she had wanted in return.

Thinking back to Brendol, Hux suddenly realised that Ren wasn’t actually clutching his arm all that hard; that in fact it had been his attempts to tug his arm free from Ren’s grasp on it that had caused the actual pain.

Nevertheless, it did nothing to change the fact that he very much didn’t appreciate being grabbed in such a manner and even more so was Ren’s refusal to let go of him.

“Fine then, but at least tell me why it is you believe that you might die,” Ren continued to urge. 

Despite Hux’s belittling words to him, it appeared as if Ren genuinely wanted to help him; like he really was concerned for Hux’s well-being.

While he knew that it could simply be a ploy to lure him into a false sense of security only to then further demean him, Hux was aware that right now he had very little choice but to acquiesce and do what Ren asked of him.

If he didn’t then who knew how long they would be standing there for? Not that Hux thought that he would last particularly long of course at the rate his heat was progressing.

Exhaling heavily, Hux tilted his head back around to look at Ren. “Fine, if you really are that desperate to know why then I’ll tell you,” Hux relented. Then in a lower tone, he added, “But first please kindly _let go_ of my damned arm already.”

Looking almost apologetic, Ren immediately did as Hux asked, releasing it.

It appeared that Ren trusted Hux enough that he didn’t believed that he would attempt to run away from him the moment he was free of his grasp. If he were to try however, in his current state, Hux knew that he wouldn’t get far. Ren was fairly fast despite his large bulk but even if not, he could just as easily stop him using the Force if he had to, Hux having seen the man stopping people dead in their tracks and completely incapacitating them all by merely stretching out his arm in front of him. It was an unnatural and frightening thing to witness, and Hux could only hope that Ren would never actually use his powers like that on him. Not that he doubted that it hadn’t crossed Ren’s mind at some point or another. In truth it was probably only on Leader Snoke’s orders not to harm him that saved Hux from being on the receiving end of them.

Once his arm was finally free of Ren’s grasp, Hux resisted the urge to clasp it with his other hand and cradle it against his chest. While it didn’t really hurt that all that much, holding his arm close in an attempt to both soothe it and comfort himself had been an unfortunate habit he had acquired in his childhood, stemming from Brendol grabbing a hold of him and dragging him along to dish out whatever punish he saw fit to inflict on his son that day.

Still appearing somewhat apologetic, Ren took a few small steps back from him as if to give Hux some space. Whether he was being considerate of him or if Hux’s own scent was getting to him the way Ren’s was to him, he was unsure. But either way, Hux appreciated it, finding he could breathe a bit easier now.

A minute or so passed and although Ren was looking at him expectantly, demonstrating a rare show of patience, Ren waited for Hux to speak.

While Hux was glad not to be pressured, it didn’t change the fact that he still felt incredibly uncomfortable speaking about anything personal, particularly something of this kind of nature. There was also no way of telling how Kylo would react to what he was about to tell him.

“It’s to do with my heat,” Hux began, wracking his brain as he tried to figure out the best way to explain things, “It wasn’t something that I was expecting to occur. Not right now and certainly not like this.”

“That’s why I’ve been so ill-prepared about the entire thing as you so brutishly put it. I hadn’t made any arrangements for going into one because I didn’t think that I had anything that I needed to prepare for in the first place,” Hux revealed, feeling embarrassed by the admission.

“I only realised that I was going into heat a couple of hours ago, you see. And that was only after I went to medbay and the head physician informed me himself that was what was behind my ill-health these past couple of weeks. Before that, I had assumed that I simply had the flu. That or that I had perhaps contracted some sort of illness from an officer or trooper who had recently been planet-side.”

“What? You’re saying you only realised that you were going into heat after you went to medbay? How could you possibly not have known?” questioned Ren, sounding completely shocked, “And why didn’t you go to medbay as soon as you started to get sick. Surely you should have –”

“Are you going to barrage me with these idiotic questions or do you actually want me to explain?!” snapped Hux, levelling Ren with a deadly glare, unsure of how effective it was given that his cheeks currently burned red with embarrassment.

He was well aware that he should have figured out on his own that he was going into heat; that he should have gone to medbay sooner than he actually had. He certainly didn’t require Ren to tell him that.

Once again, to Hux’s surprise, Ren looked sorry, even going on to apologise to him. “I’m sorry. I was just surprised is all. I didn’t mean to – I’m listening so go ahead.

“Uh please,” he added.

Hux’s glare softened. Primarily because it was difficult not to be caught off guard and stay angry when Kylo Ren of all people had just apologised to him.

“Just so you know, the doctor didn’t realise right away either,” stated Hux, feeling the need to defend himself, “He had to run some tests first before coming to the conclusion that my symptoms were an indication of my oncoming heat.”

If a medical professional hadn’t realised he was going into heat right away then how should he have possibly known? It was a weak excuse and Hux knew it. It was his body after all, and if he had realised, he might have been able to avoid this whole mess entirely. He wouldn’t have to be standing here talking to Ren about something so humiliating.

“If they had to run tests to figure out that you were going into heat then that means that the doctor must have been a beta, that they couldn’t smell your omega pheromones.”

Hux wasn’t quite sure what that had to do with anything but confirmed it, nonetheless. “Yes. Doctor Fahey is a beta.”

Hux had always thought that betas made for better doctors. And again while there weren’t too many omegas onboard, barring the mates or family members of officers stationed aboard the Finalizer, it was still considered inappropriate for an alpha doctor to treat an omega patient unless absolutely required. Betas of course were allowed to treat anyone regardless of their designation.

As for omega doctors...Well, Hux had never heard let alone met one before. Although, he was sure they likely existed out there in some worlds. If they did, then Hux imagined the same restrictions applied to them when it came to treating alphas patients. He supposed the only difference however was that it would be more to do with the safety of the omega doctors rather than the alpha patients.

“That’s good at least,” said Ren, sounding strangely relieved by that fact. Hux wondered if it was due to Ren’s insulting belief that every alpha in the ship would suddenly forget that he was their commanding officer and immediately try and have their way with him. The fool.

Hux didn’t get the chance to question him about it however as Ren then proceeded to ask a question of his own, but at least this one didn’t anger him.

“Did they give you any explanation as to why you were you were going into heat when you weren’t scheduled to?”

“Just that my damned suppressants stopped working,” replied Hux, deciding to leave out the reason behind why they had lost their effectiveness in the first place. There was no need for Ren to know that part. He didn’t need Ren judging him even further than he already had been. The way anyone who judge him, he thought dishearteningly.

Ren furrowed his brow. “Is that even possible?”

“Well, given that they’ve stopped working for me and I’m about to go into heat, I would say that _yes_ , it is very possible,” retorted Hux, unable to keep the annoyance he felt with the question out of his voice.

He found the fact that Ren who could extract the thoughts straight out of a person’s head as well as easily killing them those magical abilities of his, was questioning whether such a thing was even a possibility to be rather insulting.

“I’m assuming that it’s not a simple case of you forgetting to take your suppressants either,” said Ren, phrasing it as if trying his best to make it sound like a statement rather than a question. Hux would have been offended if it had been one. Although if it was anyone baring him, he wouldn’t blame Ren for asking.

For most that would be the most likely reason to explain why they were going into heat. That they had been negligence and utterly careless in making sure to take them. For Hux however, since he had been handed his first batch of suppressants after presenting, he had been completely diligent in making sure to take them. He couldn’t have afforded any slip up after all. Especially back then when he had simply been a young cadet and yet to establish himself as anything other than Brendol Hux’s bastard son.

“You presume correctly. I take my suppressants at roughly the same time each cycle, usually just after I get up. But even if I had missed a dosage or two, of which I of course _did not_ -” he made sure to emphasise, not wanting Ren to doubt him, “- it shouldn’t have been enough to trigger me going into heat.”

Ren nodded at that. Hux was unsure however whether he was doing so to show that he agreed with him or merely letting Hux know that he was listening.

“It was a couple of weeks ago that they stopped working,” Hux continued, “I hadn’t realised at the time. And now here I am unprepared and in the awful position of having to go through a heat cycle during an inconvenient time like this.” Grumbling in such a manner was unbecoming for an officer of his rank, but given the circumstances, Hux felt couldn’t help but feel entitled to it.

Hux folded his arms over his chest. “It’s just my luck that there’s no way of stopping it. Honestly, it’s frustrating beyond belief. And no before you ask, I can’t just take another kind of suppressants in place of my usual ones.” Hux made sure to pre-emptively stated before Ren tried to suggest it to him, “They won’t do anything to prevent my heat at this stage nor preventing it from progressing. It would be pointless to take them.”

“Heats are a pretty regular occurrence for most omegas, but I’m guessing that doesn’t really apply to this situation,” said Ren diplomatically.

Hux nodded. “Yes, if it was I would have simply remained in my quarters and tried to at least get as much work done there in the meantime until the worst of it was over with. No one would be any the wiser about what was I was going through, including you.

“And more importantly, I wouldn’t be standing here having this humiliating conversation with you right now,” Hux added dejectedly.

“It’s not humiliating, heats are something that all omegas go through at some point. There’s no need for you to feel ashamed about it or anything,” argued Ren.

Hux snorted. That was easy enough for Ren to say. Not to mention, he was an alpha. How could he possibly relate to anything Hux was currently and about to go through?

“In any case, I think we should focus on what you told me earlier. That your body wouldn’t be able to handle it, that you…” Ren paused for a moment, “That you might die.”

“Is that really true?” Ren asked him, looking troubled.

“I see no possible reason as to why I would lie about such a shameful thing,” Hux answered, frowning. To die from as something as a base as a heat of all things.

Hux had always envisioned perishing either in a glorious battle, or much more preferably, of passing away peacefully – to an extent – in his old age after finally taken his rightful position as Supreme Leader in which oversaw vast territories and ruled the galaxy with an iron fist, squashing any uprising with ease. Not that anyone would dare to rise against hm of course.

Yes. If that was the case, he would have no regrets whatsoever.

“Honestly, I’m still not sure which is the worse fate; dying or having to discuss any of this with you. If I had known it would end up like this, I would have simply taken my chances alone.”

“Hey, don’t say that. Now would you hurry up and explain the problem to me already,” said Ren brusquely, making Hux feel as if he were being scolded like some young cadet.

Apparently Ren’s uncharacteristic bout of patience had finally worn itself out. In the very least he wasn’t yelling, something Hux could have once handled with no issue, but now with his omega hormones being so out of control, he feared how both his body and mind would react to being berated by an alpha.

Ren sighed before more gently saying, “Hux, I want to help you.”

Frowning, Hux unfolded his arms and let them drop down to his sides. He was going to regret this; he was sure of it. But really what choice did he have?

“My heat unfortunately is something that I am unable to get through on my own. Nor is it something that I can simply endure and wait for to pass by. At least that’s what Doctor Fahey believes anyway. He explained that currently there is an excessive amount of omega hormones coursing through my body and that unless I experience some kind of release they will continue to build up to the point where it becomes dangerous for me and my body won’t be able to handle it any longer. While I do question if Doctor Fahey is overreacting a bit, he claims that if left undealt with, it could either cause extreme irreparable damage to me or result in my untimely demise. That is unless I find a…”

Hux trailed off, feeling his face flush darkly. How could he possibly say such a thing out loud, and to Ren of all people?

Hux clenched his fists by his side. He felt sick. He never should have come here.

“Unless you find an alpha to spend your heat with you,” Ren finished for him, “The release your body needs would have to come from an alpha knotting you.”

Hux nodded weakly. “Yes. That…that is correct. Or at least what Fahey believes anyway.”

Ren’s eyes widened as realisation sunk in. “Then that’s…that’s why you came to me. You said I’m the only one who could help you. It’s because I’m an alpha, isn’t it? You need me to knot –”

“Stop! Don’t say it!” cried Hux, despising how wretchedly shrill his own voice sounded to him. “I told you already that my coming here was a mistake. That I had clearly lost my mind by choosing to do so. But then when I realised and tried to leave you wouldn’t let me. You just _had_ to know, didn’t you!? So not only are you now aware that I’m but a lowly omega about to go into heat, I’m also incapable of getting through it myself. Not without going through excruciating pain which if it doesn’t kill me, will at least leave me incapacitated, possibly to the point of not being able to function anymore.”

He was growing hysterical but for some reason he found he couldn’t stop talking.

“Still, I’m sure you’ll get a great deal of amusement out of envisioning it!” declared, Hux letting out a bitter laugh, his chest meanwhile feeling unbearably tight. Despite this, he continued on, “Yes, me writhing in pain, unable to do anything to save myself! Nothing but a pitiful slave to my own biology just like all those other wretched omegas out there!”

The pain in his chest mounting, Hux raised his hand towards it, clasping at the fabric of his tunic as he took a couple of steps backwards. He felt like he couldn’t breathe properly all of a sudden, and if that wasn’t enough, Hux felt his legs start to slowly buckle under his weight as well. Despite the several steps backwards he had taken, he was unfortunately far enough away from the wall that even if he were capable of reacting swiftly, he still wouldn’t manage to reach out and balance against it to prevent himself from toppling over.

It appeared that this time, Ren really would see him crumble down to his knees in disgrace.

He found that he couldn’t even call out, which he supposed was somewhat of a blessing. If he were to cry out, it would surely only add to his ever mounting humiliation.

But perhaps more importantly, although maybe not by much, he wondered that if when he fell, would he actually be capable of standing up again?

What if he couldn’t make it back to his quarters; lacking the strength to even drag himself there on his hands and knees. Would he then go into heat right here on the floor of the training room with Ren staring down at him in either cruel amusement or unveiled disdain and disgust before leaving him to his fate?

It was too shameful.

Hux closed his eyes as he waited for painful impact of the hard floor below to assault him. But to his bewilderment, the pain never came. Instead he was somehow still standing, something having prevented his fall. Or rather _someone_.

It took him a couple of moments to properly process it but eventually Hux realised that he was being held up by Ren, the man having managed to catch him. Hux supposed he shouldn’t be surprised considering Ren’s lighting fast reflexes.

However, while grateful, Hux couldn’t help but gasp slightly as he realised how close he presently was to Ren with Ren now having wrapped his arms around his back to support him. This was in addition to the fact that the alpha’s powerful and musky scent was engulfing him once more.

Kriff, did Ren always smell this good?

“Hey, take it easy. You’re not going to fall. Just breathe, okay? I’ve got you,” Ren reassured gently him, much in a similar manner to how he had earlier. Hux meanwhile, felt Ren’s arms carefully tighten around him. “You’re alright, Hux. I’ve got you.”

A soft moan escaped Hux’s lips. Now almost pressed flush against Ren, it was nigh impossible to ignore his alpha scent and as such despite still struggling to get his breathing back uncontrol, Hux couldn’t help but inhaling it. It was at that that Hux suddenly felt an uncomfortable wetness emanating from his backside.

Despite his unfamiliarity with the sensation, Hux knew immediately what it was. It wasn’t uncommon for small amounts of slick to seep out during an omegas pre-heat after all. For him it functioned as a sign that his actual heat would soon be upon him.

Hux figured that he still had some time left before the full extent of it hit him, but given the irregular nature of the heat in general, who knew whether that would actually be the case or not? Even Fahey, the highest ranked medical professional on the ship, hadn’t been sure what to expect, his shock and uncertainty occasionally breaking through his usual professional demeanour when discussing the matter with Hux.

In the meantime, Hux had to admit, there was a part of him that found it deeply pleasant having Ren holding him in such a way despite the immense stress he was currently under. He had thought something similar earlier as he had watched Ren sparring with the combat droids while he had waited on Ren to finish his training session.

A mixture of shame and arousal along with a hundred different other emotions filled Hux at both the knowledge that his heat would soon be upon him and the feel of Ren’s steady hands supporting him.

Hux bit down on his lip trying to shake himself out of it, knowing that if he didn’t leave right now that his heat really would overwhelm him and that he would be absolutely helpless to both it and alpha currently holding him.

He needed to get back to his quarters; a place of safety where no one could get to him. He wouldn’t be getting any help here in any case.

What an utter fool he had been. Of course Ren would never agree to help him out. What had he been thinking? The fact that Ren had caught Hux before he fell was simply a case of him acting on instinct. Alphas could be cruel and condescending to omegas, but at their core they were still hardwired to protect an omega close by who was in some kind of immediate danger. If Hux hadn’t been smelling the way he currently was, Ren would have no doubt let him fall to the floor. 

Nonetheless, a part of Hux yearned to remain right where he was, resting lightly against Ren’s chest. As such, in a way, it would have been far kinder of Ren just to let him fall. Hux had spent almost the entirety of his childhood having to pick himself up from the floor because of Brendol’s abuse. But having to pull away out of someone’s comforting arms… well that was something he had no experience with whatsoever. 

What was more was he had a feeling that it would be even harder to do so given that he was aflush with omega hormones. Of course he doubted he would have allowed himself to be held by Ren for more than a couple of seconds had he been his normal state.

Resigning himself, Hux closed his eyes as he took in one last inhale of Ren’s alluring scent before going to pull away. However, as he did so, Hux felt arms tighten around him tugging him even closer. It was quickly followed by what sounded like Ren breathing in, inhaling his scent just as Hux had done to him.

“Ren, what are you doing?” Hux gasped out, both confused and surprised, having managed to finally regain his breath.

“Kriff, you smell so good, Hux,” Ren mumbled breathily.

Hux let out a small moan at that. He supposed that answered his earlier question of whether he smelt as appealing to Ren as Ren did to him. And while knowing that made him strangely pleased, Hux was at least aware enough to realise that it wasn’t the thing he should be focusing on presently.

He needed to leave and get back to his quarters. Especially with Ren starting to behave in such an uncharacteristic manner. Or rather, how an alpha with omega about to go into heat in his arms would.

“Ren let go of me,” Hux ordered weakly, attempting again to free himself from the other man’s embrace with very little success, Ren holding him in place with complete ease.

“Look, it’s important that I get back to my quarters as soon as possible,” Hux tried to explain when Ren didn’t make any indication that he had heard him, “If I don’t then –”

“Smell so good,” Ren repeated as he nestled his nose against the crook of Hux’s neck just above his scent gland.

Hux whimpered at the sensation. Fortunately the gland was protected by the high collar of his uniform, preventing Ren from gaining access to it. However, a moment later, Hux felt one of Ren’s arms leave its place on his back and out of the corner of his eyes he saw it being lifted up. Hux felt Ren’s hand brush against his shoulder as it made his way towards his neck. Now the only thing that Ren needed to do was to peel his collar down to get access.

Yes, thought Hux. Then Ren could touch it and nuzzle that large yet extremely attractive nose of his against the skin of Hux’s neck. Maybe Ren would scent him and then bite down and –

“Ren! Stop!” Hux called out, his arousal suddenly turning to fear as the reality of the situation hit him. Hux had no idea whatsoever if an alpha like Ren, currently intoxicated by the scent of an omega would bother listening to anyone, let alone him, but he couldn’t just stand there and allow it to happen. He wasn’t that far gone yet.

Thankfully Hux’s words appeared to have some effect on Ren who immediately stopped his pursue, yanking his hand away as if he had been burned. Ren then released his hold on Hux’s back before swiftly moving away from him.

Unfortunately Ren’s chest had been the only thing that had been supporting him and with Ren’s reaction being so abrupt, Hux almost toppled over as the other man backed away from him, something which resulted in Ren once again having to reach out and steady him.

This time however, once he seemed sure that Hux had regained his balance and wasn’t going to fall, Ren let go of his shoulders before taking several steps back from him.

“I’m sorry,” Ren mumbled apologetically, “I didn’t mean to.”

“I – You just smelt really nice is all,” Ren admitted, looking ashamed of himself.

Whether it was shame for the action itself or because it involved him, Hux was unsure. Regardless, the expression on his face was yet again unfamiliar amongst the many that Ren had revealed to him since their conversation had first begun. In truth, Hux didn’t think he would ever stop being caught off guard by them. Hux just wished that he had gotten the chance to witness them under better circumstances.

What exactly those circumstances would be of course, he had no idea, but it had to be better than the ones he was currently faced with.

“It…It’s fine,” Hux managed to force out.

He needed to try and avoid becoming overemotional. The more emotional he became, the more he feared that it would cause his pre-heat symptoms to worsen. However, given who’s company he was presently in, it seemed like a nigh impossible task.

_Typical overemotional omega_ , he could easily imagine his father telling him. _Unable to cope in even the most simplistic of situations. It’s no wonder that the only things omegas are good for is to be bred._

“Do you need to sit down for a bit?” asked Ren, glancing from Hux to a nearby bench.

Hux shook his head. “No. It’s alright, I’m fine now.”

“Okay,” Ren replied somewhat awkwardly.

He and Ren stood there in an uncomfortable silence for what felt to Hux like several hours, both ashamed of themselves, albeit for undoubtedly different reasons.

“I should leave,” said Hux, his humiliation rising again. He had made a fool of himself more than enough for one day.

“Wait,” cried Ren, proceeding to reach out to him as Hux went to turn only to immediately drop his hand. Hux wasn’t sure if Ren didn’t want to touch him or if he was trying not to startle him.

Hux complied and turned back around, it having been made abundantly clear to him that there was no way he could get away from Ren unless Ren permitted it. As such, there was little point in ignoring or trying to go against him.

“What is it?”

“You uh, haven’t heard my answer yet.”

“Your answer about what?” asked Hux, confused.

“Well, you told me why you came and sought me out, but you didn’t exactly give me the chance to actually answer you,” explained Ren.

Hux sighed, recalling how absolutely shocked Ren had looked when he had realised what it was that his co-commander had come to ask of him. “Of course not. There would be no point. I already know what your answer will be.” He felt mortified enough as it was. Hearing Ren reject him out loud was sure to send him over the edge of what he could feasibly cope with.

“Are you sure? Because I was about to say that I’ll do it. That I’ll uh… That I’ll spend your heat with you.”

Hux’s eyes widened. Surely he had to have misheard?

“And, I’ll… Well, I’ll knot you too of course,” Ren added slightly more awkwardly, “That’s the important thing isn’t it? So that you won’t –”

“You’re really going to help?” Hux blurted out in shock, not believing what he was hearing. Ren was really willing to help him?

Then despite himself, he asked, “But why?” It didn’t make sense to him “I don’t understand why you would agree to such a thing.”

“I told you before that I would help you if I could, and as it turns out, I can” stated Ren, looking somewhat confused, “Or did you actually want me to say no to you?”

“What? No, of course not,” replied Hux, “I’m just surprised is all. I didn’t expect you to actually agree to it.”

“Considering the fact that you came all the way here to ask me, you had to have at some least some confidence that I would say yes otherwise what would have been the point?” 

“I suppose,” Hux relented. While he had acknowledged that the idea of asking Ren to spend his heat with him bordered on crazy, he had still accepted it as being the best, if not only, option available to him.

“When I left to find you, you agreeing was a possibility, but then when we started talking, it occurred to be how ludicrous I was being going to you of all people for help.”

“Is it really that ridiculous?” questioned Ren.

“Well, it’s not as if we particularly like each other. Nor have we ever exactly being on the best of terms either.”

“I guess,” mumbled Ren.

“Once I realised what I was actually about to ask of you, I was so sure that you would laugh in my face or…” Hux hesitated, not wanting to admit out loud that he feared that Ren might use his Force powers on him. After all he had always made a point of emphasising that he was not intimidated by them. He didn’t want to undo that now, especially having just outed himself as an omega, “Well, I just thought that you would use it as an excuse to mock me.”

Ren frowned. “I wouldn’t do that.” Given that Ren had managed to insult him several times during their conversation, Hux was something sceptical. Although it was true – not to mention surprising – that Ren hadn’t ridiculed him since learned what Hux had come to ask his help with. 

“Nonetheless, it’s not as if you’ll gain anything by helping me with this…well, particular matter. In fact, I would have assumed that me succumbing to death in such a disgraceful way would be something you would want,” said Hux with a forced chuckle, all the while aware that he should probably stop talking less what he was saying started to make sense to Ren and cause the other man to change his mind.

It was several long moments before Ren finally spoke. “You’re an inconvenience and you annoy me immensely,” Ren began, making Hux fear that Ren really had had a change of heart, “And while it’s true that I often find myself questioning my master’s faith in you and your abilities, I’ve never actually wanted you dead.”

To hear Ren admit such a thing was rather shocking. Surely it would be in his best interests for him Hux go away; to have Snoke all to himself and no one challenge him in front of his precious master.

“Although I must admit that I may have fantasised about your death more than once,” Ren added. And while hearing that didn’t surprise Hux at all, the small note of amusement in his voice and the slight upturning of the corners of Ren’s mouth certainly did.

“I feel the same way,” Hux found himself admitting before he could think twice about it. “I find you to be an absolute nuisance. And while I don’t think that there’s any reason whatsoever why should be stationed here on the Finalizer while I’m also in charge, I don’t…well, I wouldn’t want your death either.” To Hux’s further shock, he found that he genuinely meant it.

“Of course, I too will admit that I have fantasied about your death more than once.”

“Hmm. Well, I have to admit, I’d be rather interested in learning the various ways you’ve envisioned my demise, General. I’m sure you’re very creative with them. Especially as I’m aware that you’ve had a hand in the deaths of others in the past.”

Hux could only assume that Ren was referring to the orchestrated deaths of his fellow officers and not the deaths of billions in the Hosnian system he was directly responsible for.

“Perhaps another time.”

“You’re right. There are more important things right now,” agreed Ren as his face turned serious again.

“So, you’re really willing to help me with my problem?”

Ren nodded. “I am.”

Ren had agreed so easily that it was hard to feel as if he was leading him on.

“This isn’t just some cruel trick on your part, is it?” asked Hux, unable to keep his suspicions at bay, “That is, saying you’ll share my heat only not to show up. Because if that’s the case, then you can –”

Ren held up his hand and Hux stopped talking.

The other man sighed. “I forget sometimes just how damned distrustful of people you are."

“There are reasons for that you know,” replied Hux, almost defensively, aware that there were many out to get him. While with his accumulation of power, he was far more protected thus making it more difficult for harm to befall him, Hux knew he couldn’t let his guard down. Brendol had let his down and look were that had left him.

And although this was quite a different matter, his life was still technically in danger. He didn’t want to go through an agonising heat, waiting for Ren to show up to share in Hux’s heat, only to find that alpha had had no intention of ever doing so. If so, then Hux needed to make alternate arrangements, even if there was no other options really available to him.

“I’m sure there are,” replied Ren, “But I promise you that I’m not trying to deceive you. Plus I wouldn’t want to miss out on this rare opportunity after all.”

“What? Of seeing me in such a wretchedly pitiful state?” Hux asked sullenly.

“No, I was referring to getting the chance to fuck an omega in heat,” Ren answered brazenly.

Hux cringed at the vulgarity. Did Ren really have to say it so crudely?

“There isn’t exactly an overabundance of omegas on the Finalizer, and the ones who are here, tend to be mated already. Because of training and my time-sensitive missions, the opportunity to spend time with an omega in the mist of their heat doesn’t come along too often so this works well for me,” explained Ren.

Hux supposed that that made sense. Although he couldn’t help but silently question Ren’s alleged lack of free-time.

“In short, I would be a fool to turn your down your offer to spend your heat with you.”

Hux raised an eyebrow, still not entirely convinced. “Even if said omega just so happens to be me of all people?”

“Yes. Even if it happens to be you.”

Hux snorted. Ren could certainly do a lot worse than him. At least he had made something of himself unlike most other omegas out there whose only jobs it happened to be was to be subservient to their alphas and give birth to mewling pups.

Then again, that’s what most alpha desired from omegas, wasn’t it? In truth he was as far from being the ‘ideal’ omega as an one could possibly get. Not that such a thing bothered him in the slightest. Neither did it seem to deter Ren either. As it was just a ‘fuck’ as Ren had so eloquently put it, then Hux would do as well as any other omega going through a heat.

“I’m an alpha and I have needs. As an omega you can help me fulfil them,” Ren reasoned.

_Oh, I’m so very honoured_ , Hux thought sarcastically, thankfully managing to stop himself from saying it out loud.

In the meanwhile he chastised himself for the strange tinge of disappointment he felt over Ren’s explanation on why he was agreeing to help him. Of course that was the only reason why Ren was doing it. Ren had absolutely no motivation to otherwise, despite having admitted that he had no real desire to see Hux die. After all, there was a large difference between not wanting him dead and actively helping to prevent his death.

Nonetheless, it was difficult to ignore the concern that Ren had shown him earlier as well as saving him from what would have likely been a rather painful, not to mention embarrassing fall.

In any case, Hux figured that he should commend himself for being correct. His hope that Ren would want to take advantage of his heat to sate his own base sexual urges had been part of Hux’s justification for going to Ren in the first place. And the fact that Ren had said yes proved that he hadn’t been completely crazy in doing so.

“We’re both get something out of the arrangement if that makes you feel better about the whole thing,” Ren continued when Hux hadn’t commented,

Strangely, it made him feel both better and worse at the same time. It was baffling to Hux and as such, utterly frustrating. “Of course, what we each get out of it is a bit more important for you.”

That was putting it mildly. Hux’s life was on the line, while for Ren it was a simple case of taking advantage of the opportunity to release some pent-up sexual frustration. They were hardly comparable and Hux certainly wouldn’t be seeking out an alpha to spend his heat with if his life didn’t tragically depend on it.

“Alright, I believe you,” Hux acquiesced, “There’s no way you would agree to such a thing just for my benefit after all.”

Ren opened his mouth as if he was going to say something more, but after a few seconds, he closed it again.

“I suppose I should probably take my leave now,” stated Hux as he experienced another mild stomach cramp. It wasn’t painful enough that it had him bowled over but he nonetheless took it as a sign that he should probably end the conversation and start making some preparations.

“I need to nip by my office first before I return to my quarters.” _Which I suppose is where I’ll have no choice to remain throughout the duration of my_ heat, he thought to himself dejectedly.

Hux desperately hoped that he wouldn’t be stuck there for more than a cycle at most. However, he had no idea how long his heat would actually last and even if it had been a regular one, he wasn’t entirely sure the length of time that should be given over to recovering from one’s post-heat fatigue.

“Are you sure it wouldn’t be better if you just went straight to you quarters?” Ren questioned, “You shouldn’t even be out in your current state as it.”

Hux wanted to roll his eyes at him but managed to resist.

“I can manage a little bit longer at least. There’s just a couple of things I need to take care of first.”

As long as he was both physically and mental capable of it, Hux would try to get as much work done as he possibly could while confined to quarters. However, there was only so much he could do on his datapad away from his office and the bridge.

Ren frowned. “Can’t it wait?”

“No. It cannot. Shockingly, I have actual responsibilities to attend to,” Hux deadpanned, “I can’t exactly disappear without a trace having not given my officers any orders of what they should be focusing on during my absence, can I?”

Yes, unlike Ren who could simply come and go as he pleased, Hux was a constant and stable presence on the Finalizer for both officers and stormtroopers alike. As such, his absence would definitely be noted as well as be a cause for concern; particularly amongst the bridge crew who he spent the majority of his time with.

However, while making sure his officers knew how to proceed and tend to things in his absence was important, he also needed to arrange things to make it appear as if he wasn’t aboard the Finalizer, that he was instead away on some covert assignment under the direct orders of Leader Snoke himself. It was something he knew no one would dare question.

“I also left my greatcoat in my office. I need to pick it up.”

His greatcoat had always been something Hux felt strangely protective towards, finding an odd sort of comfort whilst wearing it. He would have adorned it when coming to speak to Ren if he hadn’t felt so warm and been sweating so profusely already. What was more, his greatcoat also had the birth control pills which Doctor Fahey had prescribed stuffed away in one of its pockets. And while no one barring himself had access to his office, the thought of someone somehow coming across them was a mortifying prospect regardless of how unlikely it was to actually occur.

“It shouldn’t take too long if that’s what you’re concerned about,” Hux added for good measure despite knowing that there was no reason why he should have to justify his actions to Ren. After all, just because Ren was an alpha and was technically helping to prevent his untimely death, it didn’t mean that Hux was under any obligation to do what he wanted.

Ren, nevertheless, looked very much like he wanted to protest.

Thankfully he relented. “Fine.”

And Hux would have been pleased with that if not for what Ren said next.

“Just hold on a moment. Let me finish getting dressed and then we can go,” Ren said decidedly before making his way across the training room where his helmet and the rest of his clothes rested upon one of the benches.

Hux frowned. “There’s no need for that. I’m more than capable of getting to my office without an _escort_.” If he had been going planet-side that would be one thing, but this was his own ship, something which Ren seemed to keep forgetting.

“Well, I was planning on going to your quarters anyway. Even if there is a slight detour, we may as well go together,” Ren reasoned.

“What? You mean you were intending on going to my quarters just now?” asked Hux, taken aback.

“Uh, yeah. Is that a problem?” asked Ren as he pulled his cloak on. “You did say that the things you were needing to take care of wouldn’t take long, and I don’t mind waiting.”

Hux doubted that but it was neither here nor there.

“It may not take long but that doesn’t mean I want you tagging along with me.”

Yes, he could hardly make proper arrangements in making it look as if he had left the Finalizer with Ren there looming over him. But more importantly…

“Additionally, when you agreed to share my…well, to share my heat, I hadn’t thought you meant right this second.” Hux had assumed there would at least be a bit more of time between Ren agreeing and engaging in the act itself.

“Why not? The sooner the better, right? If you leave it too long your symptoms will only worsen and before you know it, you’ll be hit by the full force of your heat,” said Ren, adjusting his cloak, “What’s the sense in dragging your discomfort out?”

While Hux Ren had a point, Hux had still wanted some time to himself beforehand in order to prepare. Not only in regard to his duties, but also to mentally ready himself for his heat. And embarrassingly enough he supposed to emotionally prepare himself as well.

But he didn’t want Ren to know that. To an alpha like him, an omega going through their heat was no big deal; a regular occurrence as Ren had put it. Still, even if Hux could play it off as simply having anxiety about the possible negative outcomes it could have on his health and even his life, he still didn’t want to give any indication of how uncomfortable he was about the whole thing in general.

Hux watched from across the room as Ren placed his helmet on his head, clasping it into place with precision. He honestly didn’t know why Ren wore the ghastly thing. As Hux had already highlighted to him once before, the only reason that Vader had worn a mask was to help him to breathe, and perhaps to conceal his gruesome façade. But when it came to Ren, there was no real reason or benefit to be gained from wearing one. Stormtroopers wore helmets to shield themselves from direct hits to the head. Well, that and to encourage conformity and anonymity amongst them. However, Hux doubted that these were things Ren had taken into consideration when choosing to wear his own mask.

In truth, Hux half-suspected that Ren actually wore his helmet even more than the actual Stormtroopers.

Phasma perhaps being the exception.

Honestly, he couldn’t imagine having to stick his head in one every day. With Stormtroopers it was mandatory that they wore them but when one had a choice in the matter, it didn’t make too much sense to do. The claustrophobia and all that sweat especially, it would be –

Suddenly Hux was struck by an idea.

“There’s no way that I’m going to engage in …” Hux paused for a moment, embarrassment rising from within him as thought of the best way to phrase it, “Well, there’s no way I’m going to engage in anything _physical_ with you until you’ve had a good sonic.”

“You want me to take a shower?” Ren asked incredulously, his voice now coming out harsher and deeper due to the vocoder in his mask; the way Hux was used to hearing it.

“Of course! You’ve just finished working out. Isn’t it common knowledge that someone should shower after doing vigorous physical exercise?” said Hux, trying not to focus on how much he already missed Ren’s normal voice, as well as his strikingly handsome face which was now concealed under that mask of his.

“I would hardly call sparring with some combat droids, _vigorous exercise_ ,” retorted Ren. “Not by my standards in any case.”

Hux folded his arms staunchly over his chest. “That may be true, but there’s no way I’m going to do anything with you when you’re all sweaty and disgusting.”

Ren looked decidedly unimpressed at that. “I’m not sweaty.” That was probably true, but Hux refused to budge on the matter.

“That aside, what would be the point? We’re both going to be drenched in sweat soon enough anyway.” Already uncomfortable, the thought of being covered in even more sweat was immensely unappealing to Hux, especially given the circumstances.

“You in particular I imagine well come out especially sweaty.” Hux wasn’t sure entirely what Ren was implying with that, whether it was his lack of stamina or a derogatory reference to his designation. Either way, Hux chose to let it slide.

“Regardless, I insist that you take a shower before anything happens between us,” Hux stated stubbornly.

“Are you sure you’re really in any sort of a position to be making demands of me, General?” challenged Ren.

Hux tensed at that, fearing that he had perhaps gone overboard with his insistence. Ren was technically correct after all. Nevertheless, he refused to be passive about the situation and allow Kylo to call the shots. He may have outed himself as an omega to the man, but there no way he was letting go of his sense of agency, especially as the stakes were far higher for him than Ren whose only motivation was getting sex.

A loud sigh from Ren startled Hux from his thoughts. Coming through Ren’s vocoder, it had an unsettling crackly sound to it.

“While I think it’s pointless, I’ll do as you ask,” said Ren, relenting, “I would have normally showered afterwards anyway. I simply assumed with the urgency of the situation that you would want to get things started.”

Hux relaxed a little, relieved that he hadn’t managed to anger Ren. Perhaps the anticipation of having sex soon was making Ren more agreeable.

“Good. I intend to shower too, you know.” For all the good it would do, he thought sourly. The second he got out he would be back to sweating profusely again. But the chance to feel clean, even for a moment was more than worth it. “That is before we…”

_Become intimate_ , he supposed, feeling his cheeks flush lightly. Ren, however had another term for it.

“Before we fuck?” Ren supplied.

“Ren!” cried Hux, aghast.

The knight chuckled at Hux’s reaction. Even if it hadn’t been altered by the vocoder in his mask, it would have still been a jarring for Hux to hear.

“Do you really have to be so crass about it?” asked Hux, frowning, his cheeks now a deep red.

“Hmm. Well, what would you rather me refer to it as?”

Hux chose not to deem Ren’s question with a response, deciding to move on to something else. “If you drop by my quarters in a few hours or so then that will suffice.”

Ren tilted his head the slightly; almost unnoticeable. “Will it now?”

“That is, if that time is suitable for you?” Hux quickly added, worrying that he had been too presumptuous. As much as he believed he should be the one dictating the terms, he supposed that Ren should at least have some small amount of say in things.

“I suppose it will suffice,” replied Ren, echoing Hux’s words back at him. Again, Hux wanted to roll his eyes at him.

“And my quarters, does that work for you as well?” Hux asked, suddenly fearing that Ren might want to have Hux come over to his rooms instead.

Having to go through a heat was bad enough, but for it to occur somewhere out with his own quarters filled Hux with a deep discomfort. While he supposed it wouldn’t change all that much about the nature of the heat itself in the long run, Hux knew he would far more at ease in his own quarters when it finally came over him.

“Of course,” replied Ren as if that would obviously be the case.

Yes, Hux thought. Despite agreeing to sleep with him, Ren probably didn’t want Hux tainting his rooms with his presence.

“You’ll be more comfortable in your rooms, so it only makes sense.” Oh. Hux hadn’t expected that reasoning from Ren. That was far better than his initial assumption.

“You’re an omega so it’s only natural that you would want to be somewhere familiar and a place you feel at ease when you actually go into heat.”

Hux suppressed a frown. While Ren was technically right about wanting to spend his heat in his own quarters, he would rather not have everything coming down to his designation as an omega.

“Anyway, as I said, I really should be heading to my office now. I’ll be fine getting there on my own,” Hux made sure to emphasise.

“Make sure to be vigilant,” warned Ren, “If one of the alpha officers gets too close to you and ends up smell –”

“I won’t allow that to happen,” Hux interrupted.

Yes. Ren may have gotten close enough to smell him but he wouldn’t allow anyone else to get that near to him. He would head straight to his office and stay there until he had made the necessary arrangements, after which he would give orders to one of his beta officers – most likely Mitaka – on how to proceed during his absence. Hux was sure he could rely on the young lieutenant to relay both his orders and not ask any unnecessary questions.

Normally it would be Canady who he would be giving the orders to, but blessedly Canady’s shift had just ended. Canady happened to be an alpha and even without the threat of going into heat, Hux tried to avoid being around him if he could.

“I’ll be fine, I assure you,” Hux reaffirmed.

“Alright then,” replied Ren after a couple of moments.

“Good. I’ll see you in a few hours then,” said Hux, satisfied that Ren wasn’t going to try push it.

With that settled, Hux turned and began to make his way out of the training room. However, once outside, he quickly realised that Ren appeared to be following him.

With a groan, Hux stopped and turned around to face him. Ren stopped also, several paces behind him.

“What are you doing?” Hux demanded, “I told you already that I don’t require an escort! There’s no need to follow me.”

“I’m not following you. I just happen to be going this way as well,” Ren replied nonchalantly.

“You’re quarters are that way if I recall correctly,” said Hux, pointing towards the opposite direction.

“I never said that I was returning to my quarters.”

Hux frowned, confused. “Then where –”

“I’m going to the bridge, which as you know just happens to be is in the same direction as your office.”

“And what business do you have there, may I ask?”

“Why I’m commander of this vessel. Sorry, _co-commander_ ,” Ren corrected, clearly amused, “It’s only natural that I would want a status update of what’s been happening on the ship since I last checked in.” Hux highly doubted that was the case but presently he didn’t have the energy to protest.

“I can’t help the layout of the ship, General,” Ren added.

Hux sighed. “Fine. But you better not still be on the bridge when I leave my office, I swear.”

“Provided that there isn’t anything too pressing that requires my attention there then I’m sure I won’t be.”

Hux supposed that was the best he could expect from Ren right now.

With that sorted, Hux continued to make his way down the corridors to his office, the alpha walking several steps behind him; a frustrating and yet somehow not entirely unwelcome presence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the comments and kudos. They are much appreciated. 🥰
> 
> Feel free to poke me on [tumblr](https://yanyangire.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/yangiretrash).


	4. Chapter 4

After Hux was done making arrangements in his office for what was to be his fake departure from the ship, he went to the bridge, finding himself relieved – and although he would never admit it, just the tiniest bit disappointed – that Ren wasn’t there waiting for him.

He still couldn’t help but wonder if Ren really had genuinely wanted a status update from the bridge; that his going there hadn’t in fact been some ploy to ensure that Hux got to his office safely and that he wasn’t suddenly jumped by his alpha subordinates.

Even if Ren had been intending on waiting for him, he had probably gotten bored when at least an hour had passed by. Ren wasn’t exactly known for his patience after all. Furthermore, unlike himself who spent a great deal of time on the bridge, Ren’s prolonged presence there would have likely garnered confusion from the bridge staff and made them uneasy. Not that such a thing would have mattered to Ren of course. Unlike himself Ren didn’t seem to care what others – barring Snoke – thought of him. Despite being the highest ranking officer, in most cases, Hux wanted to be seen by his crew – especially the ones he worked with regularly – in a positive light. There were a number of exceptions of course. Canady for example. Hux knew already how the man felt about him and honestly couldn’t care less about it.

Once on the bridge, Hux quickly relayed his orders to Mitaka and as expected, the young Lieutenant didn’t question him, simply saluting him and wishing the General success on his mission.

He did however believe that he detected a hint of concern in Mitaka’s eyes, although he couldn’t be entirely sure. Nonetheless, it spurred Hux into announcing his intention to leave, and as soon as everything was sorted he made to return to his quarters.

While the walk itself there wasn’t too long, Hux couldn’t help but feel both self-conscious and somewhat paranoid, fearing that someone might stop him and prevent him from his goal.

He entirely blamed Ren for putting such worries in his head and as a result he walked as briskly as he possibly could in his present condition. He barely acknowledged any of the officers or Stormtroopers saluting him as he went by, calling out “As you were,” as he walked past them.

After finally reaching his quarters, Hux let out an immediate sigh of relief. In spite of the little time he actually spent in his rooms, he didn’t think that he had ever been so relieved to get back to them. And almost immediately he shrugged his greatcoat off from where it rested upon his shoulders. Despite wearing it that way, it had still felt far too warm on him for comfort. As someone who usually felt the cold fiercely – thanks in part to his slender physique and little natural padding – it was disconcerting. He wasn’t used to running this hot. And while he hated the cold, he as was at least used to it. This heat however, not so much.

Sitting down on the sofa with an unceremonious flump, Hux allowed himself a brief reprieve of ten minutes or so to recuperate. The fact that he did nothing but simply sit there alone with himself and his thoughts, not even looking at his datapad was a true testament to just how exhausted he was. Ensuring that everything was in place back in his office had taken him slightly longer than he had anticipated due to his difficulty focusing as a result of his pre-heat symptoms.

Stars, it really was no wonder why Mitaka had been looking at him the way he had; such a far cry from his usual composed and efficient self.

Even if like Mitaka, any of his other subordinates suspected that he might be sick, having established himself as a beta, there was no way they would make the connection that his sudden illness was the result of him being about to go into heat.

No, other than Doctor Fahey, there was only one other person that knew the truth about him.

In spite of the lack of other options available to him, Hux still wasn’t sure if he had done the right thing going to Ren. He just had to hope that it wasn’t something that he would come to regret.

Dragging himself off the sofa, Hux made his way to the fresher and got undressed. Rather than having a simple sonic shower as he usually did, Hux decided to indulge slightly and allow himself a water based one, hoping that it would help ease some of the aches in his head and limbs. Unfortunately it turned out to be a poor choice.

Perhaps because he was so used to taking a sonic shower, he found himself overwhelmed by the hotness of the water and the steam arising from it. And while he was quick in turning the temperature down to a more bearable level, it wasn’t long before that eventually became too warm for him as well, making him lower it further. And while the colder temperature of the water stream was initially welcome sensation upon his skin, eventually Hux began to shudder to the point that even his teeth chattered. All in spite of the fact he had been boiling just a minute ago!

Cursing, Hux switched off the shower and shakily got out. He wasn’t sure whether to blame the shower design or his own body and its seeming lack of ability to regulate its own temperature. He suspected however that the blame should probably be placed on the latter.

Towelling himself dry, Hux went into the bedroom and plopped himself down on the bed in rather undignified manner. He felt even worse than he had before and just as he had presumed would be the case, not long after exiting the shower, he was back to sweating profusely again.

With all the unpleasant symptoms associated with going into heat, it truly was a mystery why any omega would willingly put themselves through it several times a year. However, a few moments after the thought had arisen, it dawned on Hux that they probably didn’t have any choice or say in the matter.

Despite not having thought about her in years, for the second time that cycle, Hux’s mind returned to the old classmate of his; the omega girl. Last time he had seen her, she had been sporting a visible baby bump and now out of nowhere, Hux was struck with the unpleasant realisation that her child would be even older than she had been when she had been expelled from the academy.

Hux wondered if the child was omega as well or if it had gotten lucky and been born an alpha. Either that or a beta, which in Hux’s opinion was the superior outcome. If so, maybe they would be on their way to becoming an officer, taking on the role that was denied to their mother, and by all rights should have been denied to him as well.

Hux groaned, shaking his head. He shouldn’t be pondering such futile things. He had far more important matters to be concerned about. And at the very least he had absolutely no intention of ever becoming pregnant by an alpha so really there was nothing for him to worry about there.

Nevertheless…

Forcing himself up, Hux went into the living area and pulled the pack of birth control pills from the pocket of his greatcoat. Despite being aware that it wouldn’t have any additional effect to the one he had taken earlier, he decided to take another one just in case. After swallowing it back with a glass of water, Hux poured himself another glass, finding himself rather thirsty. Either it was from all the sweating or simply another unwelcome side-effect. Possibly both.

Glancing down at the empty glass in his hand, Hux wished that it had instead been filled with some sort of alcoholic beverage. He quickly squashed that desire, however. While it might have helped to ease his anxiety considering what he was about to put himself through, he wanted to try and maintain a clear and level head throughout it all.

He scoffed cynically at himself. As if that would be possible when he went into heat. He would probably lose all semblance of control completely. And in truth, nothing terrified him quite as much as that.

After picking up his discarded clothes from the fresher floor, Hux had thrown the briefs he had being wearing earlier into the rubbish bin to be taken away to the trash compactor and disposed of at a later time. He had felt too embarrassed to send them too laundry even if was only the droids working there who were at risk of seeing them.

More than likely he would have to do the same thing for the pair he was about to put on.

Returning to the bedroom, Hux changed into a new uniform, having no clue what attire would be appropriate for…well, for doing what he was about to be engaging in. Even if it would soon be removed, he wanted to make himself look presentable, and for Hux his uniform had always been the default, whether it be his current one or the one uniform he sported when he was still a cadet.

While he dawned his usual outfit, Hux decided against putting any pomade in hair. With the amount he was sweating presently – and would no doubt continue to do so throughout the evening – he suspected that it would start to melt and run before too long. It was difficult to style without any gel however as he struggled to sweep the strands of hair that rested upon his forehead out of the way. Eventually, he gave up and glancing at himself one final time in the mirror and coming to the conclusion that there wasn’t much else that he could really do, he went back to the living area and sat down on the couch as he awaited Ren’s arrival.

He just hoped that when all of this was finally over with, things could go back to the way that they had always been despite knowing it could not. No, not with Ren knowing what he was.

In the meantime, he attempted to do some work on his datapad with very little success; a combination of feeling far too hot and being incapable of concentrating. As someone who prided himself on being a hard worker and making the most of any time available to him, Hux mourned the lack of productivity for this cycle greatly.

He regretted not having given Ren a specific time for him to show up at. While he had told him several hours, when it came down to it, that could span a number of times from when he had suggested. And now with his inability to get any real meaningful work done in the interim, he was left with nothing to do but simply wait for Ren to arrive.

It was nerve-wracking to say the least and Hux hated himself for the intense anxiety he was experiencing. He also hated being kept waiting, but he supposed he could hardly blame Ren for that.

A small part of him was tempted to send a message to Ren telling him that he was finished his business from earlier and perhaps ask him when he thought he would be arriving. He quickly quashed the notion however, fearing that it would be interpreted as him being a stereotypical needy and horny omega in heat, desperate for an alpha to show up and knot them. He didn’t require yet another reason for Ren to look down upon him, and he certainly didn’t want Ren getting the wrong idea about him either. Hopefully he had made it clear enough to the other man that he wasn’t doing this because he wanted to.

In addition to his worry of coming across as needy, despite Ren’s assurance that he wasn’t attempting to trick him, and with Ren also getting something out of their encounter, Hux still couldn’t help but fear that Ren might not show up. That he would decide that even though getting to sleep with an omega in heat was an appealing and rare prospect for him, it was still more trouble than it was worth. Especially considering who he would be engaging in such an act with. As Hux had pointed out to him earlier, they were hardly on the best of terms with each other, only barely able to be passably civil to one and other.

As Hux could do nothing but wait, it meant that he was acutely aware of all the foreign and unpleasant sensations occurring within his body. And outside of it too he supposed given he was sure he could feel slick exuding from his backside. It was disgusting and made him want to squirm and rush straight back to the refresher for another shower. If it had been a feasible option, he would definitely make sure to have his usual sonic one. But he needed to listen out for Ren and he had no intention whatsoever of rushing about and having to answer the door half naked.

Hux’s stomach ached slightly, unable to quite remember when he had last eaten anything that could be considered even remotely substantial. But with the nausea, he feared that having even just a rations bar would cause him to throw up.

No. He didn’t want to risk it. Hux was used to going hungry from when he was child, Brendol punishing him by withholding food from him after physically hitting him had no longer been a viable option following the warning he received by Rae Sloane.

Yes, he could handle a little hunger.

In a way, it was his mind that was the real problem; at war with itself over wanting to put off properly going into heat for as long as possible and his desperation to have this awful ordeal over and done with.

Leaning heavily into the sofa, Hux closed his eyes, letting out a small moan of despair.

Eventually however, the bell to his quarters chimed, signalling Ren’s arrival.

Hux opened his eyes. While he hadn’t been asleep, he still had no real idea as to how much time had passed since he had actually sat down. But apparently in that time, he had undone some of the buttons of his uniform jacket, experiencing only a vague recollection of having done so. Hux put it down to either being too hot or the fabric feeling too constricting. The fact that he couldn’t quite remember however was somewhat troubling.

With a groan, Hux forced himself up off the couch as he quickly attempted to button up his uniform while he made his way to the door. Even though he was still technically fully clothed, Hux had no intention of answering it in such a dishevelled state even if Ren would undoubtably see him that way soon enough.

The bell chimed again revealing Ren’s impatient tendencies.

“Just give me a blasted second,” Hux muttered irately to himself. Still, at least he knew that Ren had been sincere in his promise that he would show up.

Coming to a stop in front of the door, Hux’s heart began to race, once again having second thoughts. Maybe he should tell Ren that it was all a mistake; that he should leave. But taking a deep breath, he opened the door, Ren’s scent hitting him almost instantaneously.

Hux held back a gasp as his knees started to tremble slightly. Thankfully his training kicked in and he was able to keep himself upright.

Ren looked exactly the same as he always did, wearing his usual garments, including his helmet. And for a fleeting moment Hux wondered if he intended on keeping the mask on while they had sex. He quickly assured himself that this wouldn’t be the case. If Ren didn’t wear it while training then he would most certainly take it off for what they were about to do.

But then again it _was_ Ren, so who really knew what was considered normal for him?

“Can I come in?” Ren asked eventually. And it was only upon hearing that that Hux realised that he had yet to actually greet Ren; that he had just been standing there staring at him.

“Ah, yes of course,” answered Hux, scrambling awkwardly out of the way to let the larger man through.

Stars, Ren had only just arrived and already he was managing to make a complete fool out of himself. He dreaded to think what the rest of the evening would hold in store. 

“Were you able to take care of everything that required you attention?” asked Ren in a surprisingly considerate manner as he stepped through the door. Hux meanwhile had to resist the urge to clamp his hand over his nose and mouth as the alpha passed by him. His scent really seemed more potent to Hux now.

“Yes, I was,” Hux replied, “Everything should be in order until...well, for however long this will last and I can resume my duties.”

Ren simply nodded. “And you didn’t have any trouble on your way back here? No one tried to –”

Hux resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “No, I was fine, exactly as I said I would be.”

“Good, because I’m sure if you went out smelling the way you do right now, there’s no way you wouldn’t attract attention,” Ren stated candidly, “Any alpha walking by, no matter how close or faraway would be able to tell you were about to go into heat.”

Fear struck Hux at the very thought but he didn’t want to reveal such a thing to Ren. “Yes, well, that wasn’t the case. I’m here now so really the only alpha I have to worry about is you.” He meant for it to come out in a somewhat joking manner but from the nervousness in tone, he more likely sounded as if he were afraid.

Which admittedly, he was.

Regardless, with Ren still having his helmet on, Hux had no way to gauge the other man’s reaction. Not that he actually made any indication that he acknowledged what he had said. Instead Ren glanced around his quarters while Hux stood there awkwardly, not entirely sure how to proceed.

It was strange, despite Ren’s comment about other alphas being able to easily smell that he was about to go into heat, Ren himself didn’t seem particularly affected by Hux’s scent. At least not in the same way that he had been in the training room earlier. Hux certainly couldn’t say the same about himself as he struggled to stop it from showing just how much it was.

“Would you care for something drink?” asked Hux as he made his way over to the kitchen, using it as an excuse to step away from Ren for a few moments in order to recover himself. “I have some wine or whiskey if either of those suit you?”

“I don’t drink,” Ren answered. Of course he didn’t, thought Hux.

“Ah, some taurine tea then or perhaps just a glass of water?”

“I’m fine.” Hux frowned. Well, if Ren wasn’t going having anything, it didn’t seem appropriate for him to have something either.

Usually he wouldn’t have given a damn – it was his quarters after all and he could do what he pleased– but for whatever reason, it seemed to matter now. Perhaps it was because he was already bothered by the fact that the alpha seemed to have no outward reaction whatsoever to his ever looming heat and Hux didn’t want to appear even weaker to him.

“I see,” said Hux, walking back towards the living area where Ren now stood.

“Did you actually shower?” Ren asked abruptly.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Did you shower?” Ren repeated.

“Of course I did,” Hux retorted, his brow furrowing.

Was Ren implying that he smelled badly? From what Hux knew, showering had little to no effect whatsoever on how potent the smell of the pheromones that one produced were. As usual, he had used his normal soap even if there had been no real need to now given that he didn’t need to hide the fact that he was an omega in Ren’s presence. However, it was true that he was sweating a lot, so perhaps Ren was referring to that? Still, it wasn’t as if he could exactly control it. And in addition to showering, he had sprayed himself with copious amounts of deodorant as well.

“It’s just that you’re wearing your uniform. I assumed that you would have changed into something a little more comfortable after you’d showered.”

Oh. Well, that was at least better than the implication that he reeked. Nevertheless, he didn’t want to have to admit that he hadn’t been sure what kind of attire would be considered appropriate for the situation.

“Do you always wear your uniform even when you’re alone in your quarters?” questioned Ren, and before waiting for a reply, the alpha added, “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised given how tightly wound you are. Do you honestly never relax?”

“That’s none of your business!” Hux retorted defensively before looking Ren up and down, “And what about you? You’re here wearing all of that.”

“I am but given that I came here from my own quarters, I thought it would be appropriate to wear this when walking through the halls of ship.”

Hux scoffed internally. He doubted that Ren even owned any other item clothing. Not that Hux really possessed much clothing himself barring his uniforms and sleepwear. He had some casual and slightly more formal clothes tucked away in a drawer somewhere but rarely did he get the chance to actually wear them.

Still, he supposed he couldn’t fault Ren’s reasoning. He wouldn’t be caught dead walking through the halls of his ship without his own uniform on.

It was at that thought that something suddenly occurred to Hux.

“Wait. No one saw you making your way over here did they?” he asked, slightly panicked.

“I passed people by in the corridors obviously. It is a big ship as you well know,” Ren replied frankly.

“Yes, yes,” said Hux, ignoring Ren’s sarcastic tone, “But did they see you actually come in here?”

“Not that I recall.”

Hux frowned. Given that he wasn’t supposed to be on the ship, if someone had witnessed Ren enter his quarters, it would definitely raise suspicion.

“Why does it matter?” asked Ren, and Hux was sure he that detected a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“No reason,” Hux answered, “I was just curious.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not –” Hux sighed. For someone who had always looked at him with such indifference, Ren now appeared to want to know every single detail about what was going on in his head and day-to-day life. Hux really wished he could just tell Ren to mind his own damned business but he didn’t want to risk pissing off the alpha when he was in such a tricky situation.

“Fine. If you must know, I arranged it to appear as if I’m not on the ship at present. As far as my officers are aware, I’m away on a mission for Leader Snoke,” Hux reluctantly explained.

“When has my master ever sent you away on a mission? That’s a bit unrealistic isn’t it?” replied Ren. Hux thought it strange that was what Ren was focusing on but he ignored it.

“It doesn’t matter if it seems unusual to anyone. It works because no one would dare question orders they believed to be given by Leader Snoke himself,” Hux rationalised.

Ren hummed, but as it was distorted by the vocoder in Ren’s helmet Hux couldn’t quite tell the intent behind it.

“So that was the business you needed to attend to.”

“It wasn’t only that,” Hux replied somewhat defensively, “I did also want to make sure everything was in order before I took my leave.”

“Your leave to _see_ my master. I should be angry that you’ve brought Leader Snoke’s good name into your deceit.”

Hux snorted. “Don’t be so overdramatic, Ren.”

“So no one barring me, knows that your still here,” said Ren, thankfully ignoring what Hux’s mocking.

“Is that some kind of a problem for you?” asked Hux, not sure of why it would be.

“Not at all. I was just thinking that you must really not want anyone to know that you’re about to go into heat.”

“Of course not. It…It’s unbecoming for an officer of my standing,” said Hux, embarrassed.

“Biology doesn’t take one’s rank into consideration,” stated Ren as if relaying something profound.

“Obviously not or I wouldn’t be in such a shameful state,” muttered Hux as he took a seat on the sofa, finding it difficult to remain standing for so long.

He didn’t bother offering Ren a seat. No doubt he would have refused it and come out with something ridiculous like he never sat or didn’t need to.

“It’s not shameful.”

Hux closed his eyes. “That’s easy enough for you to say. You’re not the one having to go through this.”

“That may be true but…” Ren trailed off briefly, “Anyway, no one saw me come in here. There wasn’t anybody in the corridor and if there had been, I would have sensed them.”

That was something of a relief at least.

“I realise that it must have been difficult for you having to keep such a huge secret all these years,” Ren continued, “So I understand you’re want for discretion but I –”

Hux tensed at that, his relief dissipating. “What _secret_?” he interrupted, opening his eyes, “What exactly are you trying to imply, Ren?”

“I’m talking about the fact that you’ve kept hidden to everyone that you’re really an omega.”

“I wasn’t trying to hide it,” Hux declared, sitting up straight, “I told you that the soaps and deodorants that I use just happen to come with the side-effect of masking my natural scent.”

“Hux, I’m not stupid,” said Ren, looking down at him from where he stood, “There’s no way that you would have gone out of your way to get those products if it wasn’t to conceal your omegan scent. Furthermore, from what I’m aware, it’s against First Order policy to have omegas working formally in most positions, let alone as a high-ranking military officer like yourself.”

“Yes, well, perhaps I was an exception. My father was high-ranking and very well respected member of the Order after all.” It irked Hux to admit it but it was true that there were many who had looked up to and admired Brendol Hux. However, unlike him, they hadn’t bore witness to the pathetic and cowardly man that he really was. “High command thought to see past me being an omega. They knew that like my father I was destined for great things and would be of great benefit to the Order.”

No. Brendol would have had him killed him before allowing it to get out to anyone, let alone high command that his sole heir was not only a bastard, but an omega as well. The only thing that had likely saved him from death was Hux swearing to his father that he would never reveal his true nature to anyone, that he would rather die before allowing anyone discover the truth. Brendol, thankfully, had believed him.

As such, as mortifying an ordeal as it had been, Hux was reminded of how fortunate it was that his father happened to be the one to find him that day when he went into heat for the very first time; that it hadn’t been one of his instructors or a fellow cadet who had chanced upon him.

Ren, unfortunately, didn’t appear to accept his explanation “No, if it was public knowledge that you’re an omega, even if it’s just high command who knew, I would have at least been aware of it.”

“You’re not privy to every little thing, Ren,” Hux shot back, “We may both work under Leader Snoke but remember you have no formal place within the First Order military structure. There are things that go on within the Order that are of no concern of yours.”

“Everything that goes on in the First Order is of concern to me,” Ren retorted, “And I may not have known that you’re an omega until today, but I’m positive that no one else does either, perhaps other than a physician that is. And certainly _no one_ from high command.”

Hux felt his heart start to race rapidly. Somehow Ren had managed to figure it all out and as a result appeared unwilling to believe any of Hux’s arguments to the contrary.

Since when had Ren become so bloody insightful?

“That aside, you said earlier that the doctor had to run blood tests in order to figure out what was wrong with you when you went to medbay,” Ren continued, “If they were aware that you’re an omega, it would have been in your medical records, and the moment you told them your symptoms, they would have known instantly that you were about to go into heat. There’d be no doubt about it.”

“Fine!” shouted Hux, abruptly getting to his feet, “You’re right. For years I’ve been hiding the truth! Is that what you want to hear!?”

“I’m just –”

“I’m an omega and I didn’t want anyone to know about it for reasons that should be more than obvious! But I’m an excellent officer and my being an omega doesn’t change that fact one bit!”

Hux clenched his fists tightly by his sides. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have outed himself to Kylo Ren of all people?

“I was right all along, wasn’t I? You didn’t come here to help me. You just came here tonight to provoke me, didn’t you!?” cried Hux, distraught, “To see me make a complete fool out of myself!”

“Of course not!”

“Even if you do go ahead and knot me and I survive, it won’t really matter, will it? You’d still go ahead and expose me as an omega to Snoke or to High Command!” Breathing was starting to become a struggle but Hux pressed on.

He let out a weak laugh. “If that is the case then death would be the better option. Not that I don’t think you won’t out me even if you choose not to knot me and instead leave me here to suffer my fate. My legacy would be in tatters but at least I won’t be here to witness such humiliation.”

Hux felt incredibly faint and for the second time that cycle, he found himself falling. This time however, he stumbled backwards, his feet catching on the base of the sofa. Fortunately, due to the cushions, his fall was a gentle one. It didn’t stop Ren from reacting immediately, however.

“Hux! Are you okay?!” Ren asked, his voice ripe with concern as rushed towards him.

“Go away,” said Hux faintly, exhaling heavily as Ren took a seat down next to him.

Out the corner of his eyes, Hux watched as Ren removed one of his gloves. “Stop,” Hux protested weakly as Ren lifted his now bare hand towards him. Ignoring Hux’s words, Ren placed the back of his hand lightly against Hux’s forehead. He let out a moan the instance it came in contact with his skin and Hux hated himself for it.

“Kriff. You’re really burning up,” Ren announced once he removed his hand.

“I don’t need you to tell me that,” Hux snapped. Although considering he was still struggling to regain his breath, he doubted that his words had much bite behind them.

“Give me some space,” he ordered after a minute or so. Ren at least obeyed him that time, even if he did only shuffle away the tiniest amount. It did nothing however to dampen the potency of his scent. And despite himself, Hux was thankful for it. The alpha smelt truly amazing after all. And even if he was the one causing Hux such stress, he still liked the smell.

Hux undid several of the claps on his uniform jacket, not caring if it made him look dishevelled and unprofessional. It was the least of his worries right now.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” apologised Ren, “I just wanted you to be aware that I know that you’ve been concealing your true designation from the Order. That you didn’t have to feel the need to hide anything about IT from me.”

Hux frowned, staring at Ren sceptically. “And you go about trying to let me know this by what, interrogating me? By trying to force some sort of twisted confession out of me about concealing my real designation?” Hux shot back, not at all comprehending Ren’s logic. Or rather the lack of it.

“That wasn’t my intention, I swear! I’m sorry that it came across that way,” Ren apologised once more. Hux was half convinced that Ren had uttered the word ‘sorry’ more times this cycle than he had in his entire life.

“Hux, I do want you to know that you can trust me.”

Again with the mask on, Hux was unsure what kind of expression Ren was currently making. It didn’t change the fact however, that if he had been physically capable of it and it wouldn’t cause him to waste precious breath, Hux would have snorted at the ridiculousness of such a statement.

“Ren, I will _never_ trust you. You’re only here for one reason, and one reason only,” Hux stated curtly, “And I’m already thinking that inviting you here was a mistake.”

Yes, he shouldn’t have listened to Fahey; should have just tried to get through this on his own. Every other obstacle in his life, he had overcome by himself, so why should this be any different? He had managed to triumph over his unfortunate biology thus far after all.

No, this wasn’t the same. Like some complex and deadly disease, it was impossible for him to cure himself. He needed expert help, or in this case, an alphas knot. But right now, he couldn’t say that it felt worth the cost.

“You can choose to do with the information that I’m an omega as you see fit, but I think it would be best if you just left,” said Hux dejectedly, trying to muster up what tiny amount of dignity he may have left. But the moment the words left his mouth, almost as if his body was protesting against them, Hux found himself bowled over from pain.

He let out a silent gasp as he immediately wrapped his arms around himself.

“Hux,” called Ren, and just like that he was right next to him again, this time his hands coming to rest upon Hux’s shoulders as he attempted to steady him.

Hux’s stomach, it hurt so much. It was like someone was somehow twisting it from the inside. Hux squeezed his eyes shut as tightly as he could, willing the pain to go away to no avail.

Stars, he just wanted it to stop. Why did this have to happen to him?

“Hux, it’s going to be okay. I’ve got you,” he heard Ren say from beside him.

“It hurts,” Hux gasped out weakly as if it weren’t blatantly obvious. Not only was his stomach churning painfully, he now felt even hotter than he had before, as if his body had been tossed into a burning furnace.

“I know. But this is all just part of your heat,” Ren told him calmly, “I know that it feels like a lot right now but you’ll get through this.”

“No. I don’t think it will,” Hux choked out, hating how pathetic he sounded.

So this was what he had been reduced to. It was an absolute wonder that Ren hadn’t already left his quarters in disgust. Surely this wasn’t what he had signed up for when he had accepted Hux’s offer of sharing his heat with him. Ren had come here to work off some of his pent-up of sexual frustration, not have to take care of someone who in any other circumstances would have likely been placed in medbay.

“You’ll get through this, I promise,” Ren assured him, the alpha’s hands a heavy yet comforting weight on his shoulders.

“Kriff. I’m going to die here, aren’t I?” Hux groaned, ignoring Ren’s words. “This blasted heat really will be the death of me.”

“No. I refuse to let that happen,” Ren told him staunchly and before Hux could utter a single word of protest, Ren had angled his body towards him and proceeded to wrap his arms around Hux, pulling him flush against his chest.

Hux gasped in surprised, something which was quickly transformed into moan as all at one he was bombarded by Ren’s scent. “Re-Ren...”

“Your body and mind are overwhelmed at the moment, but it’ll be okay. I’m going to take care of you.” Between the pain in his stomach and the sensation of being pressed so close against Ren, Hux could scarcely concentrate on Ren’s words.

“You smell so good,” Hux mumbled, mostly to himself as he inhaled Ren’s powerful and musky scent. To think that Ren had been walking around smelling like this the entire time Hux had known him and he had been completely oblivious to it.

Hux closed his eyes, letting himself go almost limp as he lay upon Ren as he slowly breathed in and out. Ren holding him like this seemed to have a strangely calming effect on him. And for a brief moment, he thought he might even be able to fall asleep on Ren’s broad chest. But every time he considered it, something lurched inside of, demanding satisfaction. He knew what it was. It was the shameful need to be filled and knotted by him.

Just like that, the reality of the situation and the insurmountable shame he felt about it all came quickly rushing back to him. Letting his co-commander hold him like this, relying on him to satisfy his base and perverse biological needs. It was pitiful.

“You should go,” Hux forced himself to say, reluctantly pulling back. It was only now that he realised that he was actually half sat on Ren’s lap. If he wasn’t already humiliated, he was sure he would be embarrassed by the intimacy of the position.

“No, I’m not going anywhere,” answered Ren, not relinquishing his hold on him. Hux didn’t bother to struggle. There was no way he would be able to free himself from Ren’s grasp. The man was far stronger than him. And the truth was he didn’t want to leave Ren’s embrace. Nevertheless, it didn’t change his mind about the fact that Ren probably should go.

“I’m staying right here with you. I told you that I would help you get through this and that’s what I intend to do,” said Ren unyieldingly.

“Why? Why stay when it’s obvious that you’re not even getting anything out of this,” Hux stated tiredly.

“What are you talking about?” Although he couldn’t see his face thanks to his helmet, Hux could make out the confusion in Ren’s voice.

Hux sighed. Surely Ren couldn’t be that oblivious, could he?

“Ever since you got here, you’ve hardly reacted to me at all. Not like earlier. I mean, back in the training room, once you smelled me, you…” Hux trailed off, too embarrassed to say it out loud.

Yes, back then, Ren had definitely been affected by his scent. There was certainly no denying it considering how closely Ren had held him after he caught him when he was about to fall. Furthermore, he had clearly been going to nuzzle his neck and presumably scent him as well. Or that had at least been the case before Hux had cried out for him to stop.

Hux got no sense of that from Ren now, however. It was if he wasn’t even aware of his scent. It was difficult not to be disheartened by such a fact, especially when Ren’s own was affecting him so blatantly.

“If you’re not getting anything from this, then it’s pointless for you to remain here. You shouldn’t have to force yourself to stay here, especially not for my sake,” said Hux, speaking a frankly as he could despite it being a struggle, “Surely, you have better things you could be doing with your time.”

“No. Hux. You’re completely misunderstood.”

Hux didn’t see how that could be possible but decided to at least listen to what Ren had to say.

“It’s not that I’m not having a reaction to your close proximity. It’s just that right now, my helmet is currently blocking out most of your scent,” explained Ren.

Hux frowned, pulling back slightly, which Ren allowed. “But you said right after you walked through the door that if I went out smelling like I do now then I would definitely attract attention from the alphas aboard. Were you lying or was it just some sort of painfully unfunny joke? Because if it was, Ren, then –”

“No, no. It’s true. I meant what I said,” Ren defended, “To an extent, I can control how much my mask can let in smells from the outside. The mechanism is to help protect me from possible noxious gases when I visit worlds with unstable and hazardous atmospheres.” Hux supposed that made sense. “Although, I suppose its purpose in this case would be to protect me from all the omega pheromones you’re emanating.

“Uh, not that I consider your pheromones as being hazardous of course!” Ren quickly added. Hux would disagree on that. Although, really they were far more hazardous to himself than to anyone else it would seem.

“So it appears as if your helmet does have an actual practical use after all,” Hux mumbled quietly.

“What?”

Hux shook his head. “Nothing. So, you’re picking up some of my scent at least.” 

“Yes, it’s not completely blocked out. I’m only smelling the faintest hints of it but it’s still incredibly strong, even for such a small amount. To be honest, I’m struggling to hold myself back even now. That’s why I said what I did about other alphas being able to smell you. Your scent would be much stronger to them than it is to me right now.”

“I see.” From what Hux could tell, Ren was being truthful with him, that he wasn’t simply trying to make excuses. Not that he would have any real reason to. Ren was more than capable of taking whatever he wanted from Hux and leaving. But instead there appeared to be a genuine want on Ren’s part for him to understand.

“It could be very dangerous. I definitely wouldn’t advise going out,” Ren continued, his voice turning grave once more.

“Well, I don’t have any intentions of leaving my quarters until my heat has passed,” Hux replied. Whether he got through it alive however, was a different matter.

“Plus, I doubt I’d make it very far without collapsing, and I’d rather not risk exposing myself as an omega. Not to anyone else at least,” he added miserably.

“Hux, I know that you don’t trust me, but you have my word that I won’t tell anyone about this,” stated Ren, “Not about you being an omega nor about me coming here. I’ll protect your secret. I can understand why you’ve chosen to hide it all this time. And I realise that it must have been hard. That’s…That’s what I wanted you to know earlier.”

“Thank you,” said Hux, finding that he genuinely meant it, “I…I appreciate that.”

“Just allow me to stay here with you,” Ren requested, tightening his arms ever so slightly around Hux, “Don’t make me leave.”

Hux let out a soft sigh, unsure if it was from exasperation or the comfort he was feeling from Ren’s embrace. “We’re both aware that there’s no way I could force you to go. Not in my current state anyway.” Hux knew that the him from twenty-four hours prior would be absolutely aghast upon hearing himself admitting any sort of helplessness out loud, let alone about _and to_ Kylo Ren of all people.

“Maybe not, but I’d rather you actually want me to remain here. If you turn me away you could…” Ren trailed off for a brief moment, “Anyway, you need an alpha to get you through this heat, and I promised I would help you. So, please, don’t make me go.”

Between hearing Ren apologise so much in addition to essentially asking his permission to stay, Hux couldn’t be entirely sure that the supposedly deadly heat he was on the cusp of hadn’t already done him in. It made him wonder if he wasn’t already dead or in some sort of coma; that all of this was some sort of bizarre dream that his mind had concocted.

Nevertheless, real or imagined, it appeared that despite none of this being what Ren had remotely signed up for when he agreed to share Hux’s heat, the alpha wanted to remain here with him.

Ren must have really wanted to sleep him, thought Hux. Or rather an omega in heat, which was more apt; Hux recalling Ren lamenting the lack of omegas aboard the Finalizer earlier.

“Alright then, you can stay here if you really wish,” stated Hux, relenting, trying to ignore the relief he felt that Ren wouldn’t be going anywhere.

Ren, meanwhile, pulled back slightly to gaze upon him. Or at least that was what Hux presumed he was doing. Again with his helmet on, Hux couldn’t make out the man’s expression at all. It was something he had always found somewhat frustrating; not being able to accurately determine his co-commander’s reaction to things. It wasn’t always of course. Sometimes it was very easy to tell, such as those instances when Ren went out of his way to destroy things.

Now however, it was particularly vexing, in turn spurring him on to say something about it. Or rather complain about rather as was probably more apt.

“Well, if you do plan on staying here, do you intend to take your mask off at all? Or am I expected to stare at the ghastly thing the entire time?” Hux grumbled.

While on one hand it would be extremely disconcerting for Ren to…well, for them to do anything physical together with Ren’s face completely obscured from view. On the other however, Hux wondered if it would make things easier overall. It did mean that he wouldn’t have to look Ren in the eyes while it was happening.

Then again Ren would probably take him from behind anyway, making it easier for the alpha to pretend that Hux was somebody – anyone – else. Either way, Hux suspected that he would probably have his eyes closed the entire time anyway so he supposed that it didn’t really matter.

“I was planning on taking it off eventually,” replied Ren, ignoring Hux’s comment about his mask being ghastly.

“Good, because it hardly seems fair that I’m sat here being subjected to your scent while you remain completely unaffected by mine.” Perhaps he should have gotten his own helmet then things would be more even. Nevertheless, Hux couldn’t deny that he did find Ren’s scent strangely pleasant, and more importantly, comforting.

“I’ve not been completely unaffected, and like I said, it’s not that I’ve not wanted to take it off,” Ren protested, sounding almost petulant, “First, we got side-tracked talking and –”

“Oh, are you referring to when you began needlessly interrogating me?” said Hux, dryly, folding his arms after finding that he now had some space to do so.

“Hey, I wasn’t –” Ren started to object only to think better of it. “Anyway, I just thought it might be better if I exposed myself to your scent gradually rather than all at once.”

_Exposed_. After today, Hux couldn’t help but despise the word. Even more so, because it stood for so many different things. The word had suddenly became all-encompassing to him.

“Why? Do I really smell that awful?” asked Hux slightly affronted, not to mention embarrassed, “It’s not like I have any control over –”

“No, no, you smell fine,” Ren assured, “Uh, good even. I just didn’t want to become overwhelmed by your scent all at once and…” Ren hesitated. “Well, upset or frighten you.”

“I wouldn’t be frightened,” Hux exclaimed, not liking the implication that he was some sort of skittish animal that needed coddling and to be handled with delicate care. However, as he said so, he couldn’t help recalling both the arousal and fear he had experienced when Ren had held him earlier in the training room. Ren had been enamoured by his scent, seeming completely unwilling to let go of him as if about to devour him.

Hux had been absolutely helpless to stop Ren as he had nuzzled against his neck. The only thing that Hux had been capable of doing was to cry out for him to stop. Thankfully, he had been successful and it had awoken the alpha from his trance-like state. But that was before they had agreed on anything, Hux reminded himself. Back before he had properly asked Ren to share his heat with him. Things were different now. Ren was here specifically to…well to do what alphas did to omegas who were in heat.

“It’s not just that. It’s also been awhile since I was last with an omega in heat, and you’re …” Ren trailed off as seemed to be a common occurrence with him this cycle.

“I’m what?” Hux found himself asking with bated breath when Ren made no indication that he was planning on continuing the halted sentence.

“Well…you’re different from other omegas is all.”

“Oh,” Hux replied limply, “I see.”

Yes, he supposed he was a far cry from the kind of omegas that Ren had spent his time with in the past. No doubt they had all been beautiful, not to mention, eager and willing to share their heats with an alpha. Really all the things that Hux was not. They had also probably been more than happy to catch the attention of a powerful and good-looking alpha like Ren; delighted to have an alpha like him who would knot and make them feel so wonderfully good.

Hux quickly reminded himself that unlike them, he had actually made something of himself. He had achieved great things in his lifetime. Things that no omega, nor many betas or alphas, could possibly imagine of doing. Nonetheless, it didn’t change the fact that they likely knew how to make their heats just as enjoyable for Ren as he would be making it pleasurable for them.

Not that such a thing mattered to Hux of course. The only reason he was even going through with this in the first place was to avoid dying or at the very least to prevent possible long-lasting damage to his body. As such, what Ren actually got out of the whole thing was really no concern of his.

“Not that that’s a bad thing of course,” Ren added after a moment.

“If you say so,” replied Hux, feigning indifference, all the while wishing again that he could see the expression on Ren’s face. While he was mostly willing to believe that Ren did not possess any real desire to see him suffer, he feared that on Ren’s face he would find a look of pity instead. Something which in a way would be even worse.

“It’s not. You _are_ different. You’re not just a random omega that I picked up in some cantina who I couldn’t care less about.” 

Or brothel, Hux’s mind supplied rather unhelpfully. Nonetheless, he was still rather keen on hearing what else Ren had to say. Before today, he had really believed that Ren thought nothing of him. That he had saw him as being completely insignificant and as such only acknowledged his existence when it was deemed absolutely necessary.

“We work together and you’re my co-commander,” Ren continued, “And you’re…” Hux thought he heard hesitation in Ren’s voice from the way the vocoder in his mask overemphasised his breathing. But he couldn’t be entirely sure. “You’re important.”

Hux’s eyes widened at that and almost immediately, his heart started to speed up.

“You think that?” he asked tentatively.

“Yes, of course I do. The First Order needs you. And _you_ need to get through your heat and recover from all this so that you can resume your duties.”

“Oh.” So that was what Ren had meant. His importance to the Order.

Hux had no idea why he found himself disappointed with Ren’s answer. After all, Ren’s words were far kinder than anything Hux could have possibly expected from him in the past. Furthermore, he had willingly conceded that Hux was in fact valuable to the Order; something Hux believed that he would never hear Ren admit in a million years. Had it been any other time he was sure he would have been filled with an immense and smug sense of satisfaction that the powerful and lethal Kylo Ren was acknowledging his greatness.

“I mean, yes, of course I am,” said Hux, trying not to let any of his utterly nonsensical disappointment reveal itself.

“That’s why I don’t want to do anything that would jeopardise being with you right now,” said Ren before somewhat awkwardly adding, “In regards to the abnormal nature of your heat that is.” Hux wasn’t sure what else he would be referring to but made no comment.

“Anyway, I thought it best to ere on the side of caution and to take things one step at a time. That’s, why I haven’t yet removed my mask.”

“You wanting to ere on the side of caution? My, I suppose there really is a first time for everything,” said Hux almost teasingly.

In response, Ren let out what sounded like a chuckle. “I suppose there is.”

It was the first time he had ever heard Ren laugh, and Hux quickly felt himself blush.

Embarrassed, he tried to cover it up with a cough. “While I do appreciate your concern for my well-being, I mean at least when it comes to me becoming well enough so that I can resume my duties; I ensure you that I’ll be fine. I may not be as strong as you physically nor have any of your mystical Force abilities, but really I’m not that fragile.”

Despite it only being to ensure the continued smooth running of the Order, Hux still couldn’t help but be somewhat touched by Ren’s concern for him. Even if he did think that Ren was being a tad overly cautious. 

“I know you’re not, but I’d still rather not take the risk. As I said, this is –” Ren shook his head, “I mean you’re important,” amended Ren, sounding completely sincere in his admission.

The only times in Hux’s life that he had been told he was important was in regards to his position within the Order, and while that too was what Ren was referring to, somehow hearing Ren saying it felt different to all the previous times he had heard such a thing said.

Hux honestly had no idea how to reply, wondering if he should say thank you. However, as he had told Ren already that he appreciated his concern, he didn’t want to overdo it.

He considered commenting on Ren’s own importance to the Order instead but to do so felt a bit redundant, Ren undoubtably well aware of such a fact already.

“I’ll take my helmet off now then if that’s okay with you?” asked Ren, interrupting Hux from his thoughts.

“Oh. Yes, of course. Go ahead.”

As Ren unravelled his arms from around his back, Hux was quickly reminded that he was still partly sat on Ren’s lap. Embarrassed, Hux’s cheeks darkened further and he immediately got off of Ren, shuffling back towards the other end of the couch to put as much distance as possible between them.

“Sorry,” he mumbled despite it having been Ren who had pulled him so close in the first place. Not that Hux could say that he had disliked it at all.

Ren didn’t acknowledge him with a reply, concentrating instead on removing his helmet.

Hux watched as Ren raised his hands up and undid the clasps of it. As he lifted his helmet off, there was a small hissing sound.

Now free of it, Ren’s handsome face was revealed once more to Hux and at the sight of it, Hux’s breath caught in his throat.

Sitting up straight, Ren exhaled deeply and Hux thought he saw Ren’s pupils dilate almost instantly.

“Kriff, Hux. You smell wonderful,” Ren announced almost dreamily.

Ren’s hair gleamed beautifully, always managing to look perfect despite spending a great deal of time trapped beneath the confines of his helmet.

It was a hairstyle that in no way conformed to First Order regulations regarding one’s personal appearance, but nevertheless, Hux couldn’t help but appreciate the look of it. 

He didn’t get the chance to admire Ren’s hair nor his face for very long however as he suddenly felt like something had been cast a light in his belly. Letting out a startled gasp, Hux leant forward, wrapping his arms around his midsection.

Hux didn’t understand but somehow Ren’s scent was even more potent than it was before.

“Hux,” called Ren, swiftly moving over to Hux’s side of the couch.

Out of the corner of his eye, Hux saw Ren raise his hand towards him only to hesitate, appearing unsure of whether he should touch him or not. But if the look on his face was any indication, it pained Ren not to do so. As such, Hux could only assume that Ren was fighting back against his alpha instincts to reach out to him, perhaps worried that he would end up reacting the same way he had earlier in the training room.

Hux meanwhile was confused. Surely it should be Ren having this kind of response considering he had only just been exposed to Hux’s scent in full. Hux on the other hand had been subjected to Ren’s since the moment he had opened the door to him. Yet once again, he was the one suffering the brunt of it all.

“You’re scent,” Hux began, “It’s…”

“Once I was properly exposed to your scent, it kind of hit me all at once which,” explained Ren, “It’ll be the…well, attraction to your scent making my own seem even more stimulating.”

“I see.” Hux supposed that made sense. Just as Ren responded to the pheromones he was giving off, Hux reacted to Ren’s in turn. Regardless, it made him feel slightly pitiful, Ren proving his continued resilience while Hux kept crumbling over the smallest of things.

Hux repressed a groan.

“I’m uh, sorry about that. I probably should have warned you,” said Ren, both sounding and looking apologetic.

It was at that that Hux was reminded that he was now able to see the kind of expressions that Ren was making. That at least was something of a relief. Apparently it was so much so that Hux ended up blurting out as much to him.

“I’m glad that I can finally see your face, Ren. That you’re no longer wearing that mask of yours.” It a took a moment for Hux to realise what he had said and when he did, he was positive that if it wasn’t already, his face would have turned completely red at such an admission.

Ren thankfully didn’t laugh at him, instead offering a small smile. “Well, I intend on keeping my helmet off for as long as I’m here. You won’t have to worry about that,” Ren assured.

“Oh. Uh, good,” replied Hux, still a little embarrassed.

All of a sudden, the smile on Ren’s face turned into a grimace.

“Ren!” called Hux, noticing that he was clenching his fists atop his legs.

“Ren, are you…are you alright?” Hux asked slightly panicked, not sure what to do.

“Sorry, you just smell incredible is all. I guess I’m just having a little difficulty trying to hold myself back from, well…” Ren trailed off but Hux knew what he was trying to say

It appeared that Hux’s scent was finally having an effect on Ren the same way Ren’s was on him. Hux supposed that explained why Ren had wanted to be exposed to his omega pheromones gradually rather than all at once.

It was completely nonsensical but nonetheless it made Hux feel pleased knowing that he was finally having some kind of effect on the alpha before him; that Ren actually desired him in some way. It wasn’t something that Hux had much familiarity with and so it was difficult not to revel in it a tiny bit.

Quickly Hux shook himself out of it. No. That wasn’t what was important. As such, Hux internally berated himself for losing sight of the larger picture.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but be impressed with the restraint that Ren was demonstrating. Even without the vocoder in his helmet emphasising it, Ren’s breathing sounded far heavier than before, and like Hux’s own, it was becoming more laboured. Yet here Ren was holding himself back from Hux’s sake. Perhaps that’s why Ren had been so concerned about him coming in contact with any other alphas, fearing that they wouldn’t have the discipline that he did to refrain from acting inappropriately. In any case, it was hard not to feel at least a little appreciative about it.

“I can smell your slick. It’s amazing. Stars Hux, _you’re_ amazing,” said Ren almost reverently, “I can’t believe how much.”

Hux doubted that Ren actually thought such a thing true. It was simply the effect that his pheromones were having on him that was causing Ren to spout such nonsense. Nonetheless, Hux replied with, “Well, you’re rather amazing yourself, Ren.

“Uh, your scent that is,” he quickly added.

Ren smiled once more, making it difficult for Hux to regret saying it. Ren did have a gorgeous smile after all.

Hux was hit by another wave of Ren’s scent. His body still feeling as if he were trapped in some furnace, it desperately made him want to shed himself of all his clothes. Fortunately for him that was exactly what he was going to need to do very shortly. Given that he wasn’t used to removing his clothes in front of others, at least not since his cadet days, he could only hope that such an urge would help spur him along in the process of undressing with Ren there, easing any self-consciousness he experienced.

“Kriff. We shouldn’t leave this any longer, Hux. We should –”

“Yes, let’s go” Hux agreed. Despite his anxiety, he knew that Ren was right. It was time. They had been putting it off long enough as it was.

“Your bedroom, I’m assuming that’s where you would like to –”

Hux quickly nodded, half convinced that if he didn’t move right now then he wouldn’t even make it off the couch never mind reach the bedroom. Furthermore the very thought of them doing anything physical on his couch filling him with slight disgust. His couch was one of the few items that Hux owned that wasn’t issued by the First Order and as such he had no desire to see it ruined in any way. The fact that he was sat upon it with slick oozing out his backside just, only his briefs and jodhpurs protecting it was distressing enough as it was.

Shakily Hux got to his feet, having to use the arm of the sofa to give him enough momentum so he could push himself up. For a brief moment he feared that he would stumble but to his relief, he managed to maintain his balance. He really didn’t think that he could handle almost falling over for a third time that cycle.

Ren meanwhile stood up with no problem whatsoever despite the obvious pressure he was under in trying not to jump Hux right there and then. Hux had to remind himself that Ren wasn’t the one who’s health was at risk, and that as a warrior, he was used to powering through bodily stresses. They were hardly comparable in that regard. Still, he couldn’t deny that it stung his pride a little.

“Are you okay?” Ren asked him, no doubt able to tell that he was struggling. Hux knew he should be annoyed at the question. As he had said to Ren just minutes ago, he really wasn’t _that_ fragile. But for whatever reason, he wasn’t irritated. “Yes, I’m fine,” he assured Ren instead, “The bedroom is this way.”

Ren nodded. “Alright.”

And so, summoning all his strength and composure Hux walked towards the bedroom, Ren once more an unusual yet comforting presence trailing behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the lateness of this chapter. Also for ending it in that particular place. 
> 
> I'm not entirely happy with how this chapter turned out, but I wanted to get something posted. I do promise that there will finally be (although not necessarily good) smut next chapter at least.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the kudos and especially the lovely comments! They are greatly appreciated. ❤️
> 
> Feel free to poke me on my [tumblr](https://yanyangire.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/yangiretrash).


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. Amongst other things health hasn't been great at the moment. 😓

After entering the bedroom, Hux stopped once he reached the middle of the room. The comfort he had felt just mere seconds ago was gone, replaced with a renewed sense of anxiety about…well, _about everything_. But as Kylo had said, they shouldn’t leave this any longer. And at this stage, there really there was no turning back.

Hux hadn’t been entirely sure what he had been planning on saying when he turned around to face Ren who had diligently followed him to the bedroom, his scent still as strong as ever. Not that it would have mattered if he had, as almost immediately Ren was upon him.

The alpha reached out and cupped Hux’s left cheek with one of those large hands of his before moving in to kiss him. Hux’s eyes widened as Ren’s lips collided with his own, causing Hux to let out a small muffled noise of surprise.

Hux was so caught off guard by the kiss that his brain appeared to short circuit, as despite his omegan instincts desperately craving an alpha’s – or Ren’s to be more precise – touch, his body went completely rigid. And although he could feel Ren’s hand holding his cheek and the softness of the man’s lips pressed against his own, he was unable to respond in any real way; couldn’t possibly attempt to return the kiss. Instead Hux’s arms lay limply by his sides, incapable of raising them to hold on to or wrap around Ren as would have been both the normal expected reaction in a such situation.

In the end, Hux couldn’t help but comparing himself to a helpless prey animal, caught completely off guard and shocked into immobility and incapable of escaping as some carnivorous creature moved in swiftly to devour them. However, rather than going in for the kill, Ren slowly drew back from him, letting out a quiet moan as he did so.

Hux, meanwhile, let out a breath he hadn’t even realised that he had been holding. Considering his breathing remained somewhat laboured, it didn’t feel particularly pleasant.

Despite Ren no longer donning his helmet and now being able to see his face, Hux found himself incapable of telling if the moan Ren had made was one of satisfaction or disappointment. Hux suspected the latter, however. After all, there was no way that Ren hadn’t noticed how unreceptive and incredibly tense his body had been throughout the kiss. There was no way it could have been appealing to the alpha.

The kiss had simply surprised Hux, having not foreseen it coming at all.

Given that Ren was going to be sharing Hux’s heat with him, it was probably naïve of him not to have anticipated it. He had just assumed that kissing fell under a different brand of intimacy; one of an emotional or romantic nature. Or in other words, not the type that they were about to engage in which would be purely sexual. At least it would be on Ren’s end. For Hux however, it wasn’t so much sexual as a means of survival. Without Ren knotting him, his body would likely shutdown completely.

Yes, survival, that was the only reason behind all this. Nothing more. Or that’s what Hux told himself anyway.

In spite of this, Hux felt the urge to reach up and run his fingertip along his lip, regretting that he didn’t get the chance to...well, he supposed savour wasn’t the right word. Again, he wasn’t doing any of this for pleasure. It had just been a very long time since his last kiss was all and unfortunately that had ended rather –

“Hey, was that okay?” asked Ren, sounding almost anxious.

Hux nodded. “Oh, uh, yes, it was fine.” Hux always made a point of looking at whoever he was talking to in the eyes, but even with Ren right there in front of him, only inches away, he couldn’t quite bring himself to. Whether it was from shame or some omegan need to act submissive in front of an alpha, Hux wasn’t sure.

“Good,” replied Ren, relieved, his breathing still heavy as he drew his hand back from Hux’s cheek.

Ren’s scent was still so very portent that Hux was amazed he hadn’t buckled when faced with it or with Ren’s close proximity. He could only surmise that it was his anxiety and pure adrenaline that was keeping him standing.

Out of the corner of his partly downcast eyes, Hux saw Ren raise his hands as if we were about to take a hold of Hux’s tunic. And although his brain was sluggish and he was in no way as sharp as he usually was, courtesy of his present physical state, Hux at least possessed some idea of what Ren was intending to do. It also just so happened to be something in which he felt in no way prepared to deal with.

Fortunately, this time his brain acted swiftly enough allowing him to pre-emptively respond to Ren’s action. But _unfortunately_ , it just so happened to be in a manner he would have not preferred.

“Chair!” he blurted out rather loudly, almost startling Ren in the process.

The alpha’s hands stilled, offering Hux a very confused look in return. Not that Hux could blame him. “Um, are you…”

Hux cringed, wanting to run out of his quarters – not that he could actually manage such a feat right now – and make his way to the nearest airlock before proceeding to throw himself out of it and into the depths of space.

“There…There’s a chair over there,” he attempted to explain, his cheeks painfully red as he pointed towards a chair tucked away in corner of the room back towards the door.

“Yeah, I, uh, can see that” stated Ren, unable to hide the puzzlement in his voice nor on his face. Even if he had still been wearing his mask, Hux would have been able to tell that he was very confused.

“What, I mean is, I want you to go undress over there so that once you’ve removed you clothes off, you can place them on the back of the chair,” Hux awkwardly instructed, folding his arms across his chest, hoping that it made him look authoritative. It also doubled as a means of protection for himself should Ren’s hands wander towards his tunic again.

Ren, unsurprisingly, looked rather put out by this. “Seriously? You want me to go change over there?”

“Yes, I’m being serious. I don’t care how you treat your own quarters but I won’t have you messing up mine by casting your dirty clothes upon the floor,” stated Hux, defending his decision.

Hux wasn’t sure if Ren was more annoyed about being ordered about by him or having the chance to undress an omega denied to him. Regardless of which, Hux decided not to focus on it. Instead he turned away. And unfolding his arms, he raised this hands to his already half-open tunic to undo the rest of the clasps there, hoping to make it clear to Ren that he was intending on undressing by himself and that he also didn’t want Ren standing there watching him doing so.

Behind him, he heard Ren let out an exasperated sigh. “ _Fine_.”

While Ren sounded frustrated, Hux was grateful that he didn’t make any attempt to argue with him. That or to simply disregard his wishes altogether.

Hux could only imagine that most alphas wouldn’t take well to being spoken to that way by an omega. Especially not one who they were about to bed and who were also technically doing a favour for in doing so.

Hux knew that he was asking a lot of Ren but the kiss had thrown him off his already very tenuously placed balance. As for undressing in front of Ren, while it may have been a while, it wasn’t as he was entirely unused to removing his clothes and getting changed in front of others. After all, he had lived in dormitories during his academy days. And even after that, he had spent a good number of years staying in officer barracks before he made his way up the ranks enough that he was able secure lodgings of his own. This, however, was different and the thought of Ren removing his clothing piece by piece, assessing his body as he did so, filled Hux with mild dread.

Internally he sighed, disappointed that his desperate need to shed his constricting and unbearably warm clothing wasn’t enough to ease his anxiety about getting undressed in front of the other man.

Oh well, there was nothing to be done about it he supposed. And so, with slightly trembling fingers, Hux unclasped the rest of his tunic and pulled it off, followed by his regulation tank top, trying his hardest not to think of Ren taking off his own clothes several meters behind him. It didn’t help much either that despite being the one who had ordered him over there, a part of Hux wanted to glance over his shoulder and take a peek at the alpha as he removed his clothing.

He refrained, however. He would be getting a glimpse of Ren any minute now. Just as Ren would be seeing him as well, he reminded himself, grimly. With everything having occurred in such a rush – it was difficult to believe that less than half a cycle ago he hadn’t even realised he was in heat – he hadn’t much time to consider the fact that going through his heat with Ren would require them both to be naked together. Or rather, perhaps it would be more accurate to say he had been avoiding thinking about it.

Sighing, Hux folded his tunic and undershirt neatly – although not to his usual precise standards – and placed them down on the bedroom’s makeshift desk to put away properly later.

It was only when Hux took a seat on the edge of the bed to remove his boots that he realised how much the simple act of undressing had exhausted him. And he hadn’t even finished yet!

At this rate, he truly had no idea how he was actually going to get through his heat. As things stood, it seemed like an utterly impossible feat, and even more so when he realised he was having trouble removing his boots. He tried to get a grip on them to pull them off but instead his fingers kept slipping. He had no problem with them usually. But now…

He cursed under his breath. Stars, he felt absolutely useless. He regretted even putting them on in the first place. As Ren had highlighted earlier, he was only in his quarters. It wasn’t as if he would be leaving to go anywhere anytime soon. But to wear his uniform without his boots felt like some grave offence, or at least when he knew he was going to be having company. If alone, he would have shoved on a pair of his slippers instead. They were black and so didn’t clash with his uniform too much. But in the company of another, wearing slippers just felt wrong. That was of course unless he was in the company of someone like that traitorous scum Cardinal, in which case he had no problem conversing with him in whatever he deemed fit. He didn’t need to put on any graces when dealing with such a sycophantic fool. Ren, of course, was different.

“Hey, let me help you with those,” he heard Ren say suddenly from across the room.

Hux couldn’t help but grimace at that. Ren must have noticed him struggling. Hux didn’t want to think about how undoubtably pathetic he looked in that moment. He opened his mouth to protest, to tell Ren that he didn’t require his assistance and that he was more than capable of removing them on his own, but before he got the chance, Ren was bent down in front of him.

“Ren, really, you don’t need to,” Hux began, slightly taken aback.

Ren of course, ignored him, going on to lift Hux’s left leg up ever so slightly. After that, he grasped Hux’s calf and used his other hand to grip onto the boot itself.

Well aware of Ren’s immense strength and his no doubt strong desire to get things moving along, Hux half-feared that Ren might accidentally yank his lower leg off along with his boot in his attempt to remove it. As such, Hux braced himself for at least some amount of pain. To his surprise however, Ren eased his boot off with a surprising amount of delicacy, almost as if he were actively trying to be careful.

With his boot off, Ren set it down on the floor before going to remove the one on his other foot. Rather than protest, Hux allowed Ren to do so without complaint. In truth he was rather stunned by the sight and couldn’t help but staring down at Ren intently from his slightly levitated position on the bed. Now discarded of his robes, Ren’s muscles were on full display. Or at least the one’s that Hux could make out from his current angle.

Ren’s shoulders were even more broad and muscular than Hux had initially assumed– a far cry from his own – with every small movement causing his muscles to flex ever so slightly.

That aside, Hux never thought he would live to witness the day Kylo Ren would willingly kneel before him. Granted it wasn’t quite the scenario that Hux had envisioned – himself having been declared the new Supreme Leader and Ren at his feet, pledging his loyalty to him – but it was still fascinating and wholly unexpected.

A tiny part of Hux found himself wanting to reach down and place his hand atop Ren’s head purely so he could run his fingers through his luscious locks. Even if Ren’s hair did go against First Order regulations, Hux couldn’t help finding it appealing. Perhaps the fact that he didn’t get to see it very often made it more so to him. In any case, Hux could only imagine how soft it felt.

So engrossed was Hux, that for a moment, he even managed to forget his shame at not being able to do something as simple as removing his own shoes.

“There,” announced Ren when both boots were off. And Hux’s heart skipped a beat as Ren glanced up at him.

“I could have gotten them myself,” Hux muttered, somewhat petulantly.

“Well, I figured I’d help speed things up,” replied Ren, appearing unbothered by Hux’s lack of outward gratitude.

In truth, Hux was very appreciative of Ren’s patience with him, considering it was nigh impossible for him to imagine picture any other alpha – or at least any of the alphas that he was forced to endure – behaving as Ren was currently. Had he been outed as an omega and forced to mate with some older Imperial officer, Hux highly doubted this was the kind of treatment he would have received. One single derisive comment and he would have been backhanded or worse; the very thought of which made Hux wince.

“May as well get these while I’m down here too,” said Ren decidedly as he proceeded to pull off one of Hux’s socks.

A small tingle ran through Hux as Ren’s thumb brushed very lightly against his bare foot. The touch caused both it as well as his leg to jerk out slightly, startling Hux. Despite almost hitting him, Ren looked rather pleased by this, as if he had just discovered something very interesting.

With Hux’s boots and socks in his hand, Ren got to his feet. “Want me to put these over there?” he asked, motioning towards the desk.

Hux barely even managed to process the question however, his breath catching in his throat as he was exposed to Ren in his entirety; completely naked and looking far more magnificent than Hux could ever have possibly imagined. It wasn’t only Ren’s shoulders and chest that were brimming with pure muscle, but his entire body, from his toned torso to his powerful thighs. And then of course between those thighs there rested a rather lar–

Hux coughed. In any case, it was hard to believe that such a body even existed. Beneath his robes and despite having gotten a glimpse of him while he was training earlier, Hux knew that Ren was large and extremely well-built, but this was on another level entirely. In truth, it was almost otherworldly.

Hux personally didn’t waste time thinking about such frivolous and pointless things, but he knew for many omega – and even those who weren’t – visually, Ren, embodied the image of the perfect alpha specimen. An ideal that so many wanted to be embraced by or at least aspired to be themselves. For the latter group, Hux believed it would be impossible.

He was aware that it wasn’t just Ren’s alpha genetics that had resulted in him looking the way that he did – although they would have likely played some part – but the fact that Ren trained hard every single day. As such, Hux found that it actually made him appreciate Ren’s body even more. He worked for it and it showed.

It was somewhat difficult to comprehend that this perfect specimen of an alpha would be having his way with him any minute now; something which filled Hux with both exhilaration and dread.

“Hux?” he heard Ren say distantly, shaking him out of his stupor. It was then that Hux realised that he had been sat there practically ogling Ren.

“Oh, uh, yes! Th-Thank you,” Hux managed to splutter out, his cheeks red.

Ren smirked at this, no doubt getting a great deal amusement out of the fact that the man he had butted heads with so many times over the years was now openly gawking at him.

As Ren turned around, Hux got a glimpse of his ass, which much like the rest of him, looked incredible. How was it possible for it to be that muscular?

However, now that he had snapped out of his stupor, rather than relishing in the sight, Hux felt shame well up inside of him.

While their bodies were hardly comparable – in part due to their designations – in the splendour of Ren’s, Hux felt his own to be wholly inadequate. He was far too thin for starters, something of which had plagued him his entire life. And while from what Hux could garner, most alphas seemed to have a preference for omegas who were delicate and slender, that didn’t extent to them simply being skinny. Not that he was actually skinny all over, for much to his dismay, Hux happened to possess a rather soft stomach. Regardless of any exercises he did – which admittedly wasn’t a lot – or how much he ate – which was also very little – he couldn’t seem to shift it; it remaining a permanent fixture of his features.

While frustrating, it wasn’t something he really had to concern himself too much about. No one ever saw it. Beneath his uniform, his belly wasn’t at all noticeable, nor did it visibly protrude out in the ways so many of older officers stomachs did. It was also possible that even without wearing his uniform, it wouldn’t be noticeable either. That was unless someone was specifically looking at his stomach or actually touching it of course.

Unfortunately, Hux just so happened to be in the perilous position of which both those things were entirely possible.

With that in mind, Hux had an intense urge to grab his uniform tunic and quickly pull it on in order to cover himself up. After all, provided that Ren still had access to knot him, there was really no need for him to be fully naked.

Regrettably, with Ren placing his boots down, he presented a physical barrier between Hux and his tunic. And while he could just rush to his wardrobe and grab something out of that instead, Hux preferred not to draw any unnecessary attention to his insecurities regarding his underwhelming physique. Furthermore, with Ren stripped of all his clothing, he would very likely expect the same of him.

In the end, Hux could only hope that Ren would ignore his belly completely; that he would be far too distracted by other more important things to notice.

Unconsciously Hux wrapped his arms around himself almost as if to shield his body from Ren’s discerning eyes. He honestly didn’t know what it said about him that even in a situation such as this, a situation in which his very _life_ was on the line, one of his primary concerns was about what Ren would think of him. It was absolutely ridiculous and yet he couldn’t shake his fear.

Hux quickly reassured himself that it wasn’t so much _him_ having these worries, rather that it being primarily down to his omegan instincts vying for control. That they were the sole reason behind why he suddenly cared so much about Ren’s opinion about his appearance. After all, omegas needed to come across as appealing to alphas in order to attract themselves a potential mate. And while that was certainly not the case right now, and as frustrating and humiliating as all of this was, unfortunately Hux couldn’t completely resist his biological programming.

In the end, it actually made him envious of droids of all things. Their creation and their value may solely be rooted in their servitude of organic lifeforms, but at least they didn’t have to concern themselves with any inconvenient biological and physical urges. They could just get on with things and focus solely on the tasks set out for them without any unnecessary distractions. It was a life that Hux very much wanted to get back to himself. A life in which he was able to once again dedicate himself fully to the First Order with nothing getting in the way of it nor in the way of his goals.

Hux reminded himself that even if Ren did happen to be disappointed by what he kept concealed underneath his uniform, he had assured Hux that he would do whatever he could to help him through his heat. And despite his better judgement, Hux couldn’t help but believe him. It would have been utterly impossible before today but Ren had managed to convince him. Somehow Hux could just tell that Ren was being sincere, even if it was something which he doubted he would ever be able to fully explain.

That aside, even if Ren did happen to consider Hux’s body substandard, when it came down to it, an omega in heat was an omega in heat. And Ren had made it clear already that he didn’t want to pass up on the chance to be with one in heat, even if the omega in question just happened to be Hux.

“So, would you like me to help you with those as well?” Ren asked with a small smirk on his face, having now completed his important task of placing Hux’s boots down by the desk.

“What?”

Hux was momentarily confused before he realised that Ren was referring to his jodhpurs; the jodhpurs that he still happened to be wearing.

Internally, Hux cursed. He really should have used the time that Ren’s back was turned to remove them. Of course that would have required a great deal of agility on his part, something which he solely lacked at present.

“N-No! That’s alright. I can get them,” Hux quickly replied. Ren removing his boots and socks was one thing but having him take off his trousers as well was another thing entirely.

“You sure? Cause I really don’t mind,” said Ren, edging closer to Hux, “In fact, I’d be more than happy to.”

It was more than obvious that Ren was hoping to strip Hux of his jodhpurs. Hux however found himself hesitating, unsure if he should take Ren up on his offer or not. In all truth, Hux had no idea how one should go about these sort of things. As such, he supposed letting Ren take the lead made sense. And for all Hux knew, it was a customary tradition for alpha’s, or Ren anyway, to undress the omegas they were about to bed. Ren had made a move to remove his tunic earlier after all. At least before Hux had ordered him to go undress by the chair under the pretence of not wanting his floor sullied with Ren’s clothes. Admittedly now that Hux thought about it, it wasn’t entirely a pretence. He really did hate uncleanliness of any kind.

In any case, perhaps it really would just be easier to allow Ren to –

Hux paused in his thoughts, mentally kicking himself. No. He didn’t need to do something just because Ren wanted it. Ren may be an alpha but that certainly didn’t mean that he was entitled to whatever he wanted – an infuriating presumption of so many alphas out there. Furthermore, Hux was more than capable of taking off his own damn trousers.

Then again, if he were to do so, Ren would be standing there watching him. Having undressed himself, there would be nothing to distract Ren’s attention. His eyes would be focused solely on Hux and what he was doing.

Hux groaned. Stars, he couldn’t think properly like this. He was so warm. _Too warm_. His whole body felt like it was on fire and he could barely focus at all. Why did everything have to be so distressingly complicated?

Perhaps, it really would be easier just to let Ren take care of it; _of him_.

No. He could do this. He had to prove to Ren that he wasn’t _completely_ helpless.

“I said I’m fine,” Hux asserted as he pushed himself up off of the bed and onto his feet, a task he found far more challenging than the previous time he had stood up. This difficulty was further emphasised by the fact that he remained standing upright barely ten seconds before he almost stumbled over himself, losing his balance as he went to undo his belt.

Thankfully, Ren, not for the first time that cycle, managed to reach out and steady him.

“Hey. Careful now,” said Ren as he pulled Hux towards him.

Hux groaned once more. Whether it was due to embarrassment or getting a whiff of Ren’s marvellous scent now that he was so close to him, Hux wasn’t sure.

“Honestly, you shouldn’t even be attempting to stand at all right now,” Ren chided lightly.

It took Hux a moment to remember that there were no clothes getting in the way between them, nothing other than his own jodhpurs and underwear. Ren, meanwhile, was completely naked.

Hux squeezed his eyes shut, inhaling as he leant even closer to Ren, Ren’s scent now nigh impossible to ignore or to try and attempt to resist.

For a moment, Ren tightened his arms around Hux before quickly loosening them causing Hux to let out a small whine.

“Come on, let’s get you onto the bed,” Ren suggested, rubbing his back lightly.

Before Hux realised what was happening, the alpha was guiding him towards the top of the bed were his pillows rested.

Carefully Ren sat him down upon the bed, gently pushing him back so that his head made contact with the pillows there, something which Hux allowed Ren to do without protest. After that he lifted Hux’s legs and placed them on top of the mattress along with the rest of his body. If it weren’t for what was about to occur very shortly, Hux might have felt like a small child tenderly being put to bed by a loving parent. Not that he knew what such a thing actually felt like, having never experienced it for himself.

“I’m sorry, I should have insisted you get into bed and lie down the second we came in here,” Ren stated apologetically, gazing down at him. “I get that you didn’t actually plan this heat and that it’s no doubt taking a lot more out of you than your past ones, so just try and take it easy. Although, I get that’s probably easier said than done,” Ren added with a weak chuckle.

“My…My jodhpurs, I’m still wearing…” Hux tried to say, recalling through the ever increasing fogginess of his mind that much like his boots, he had utterly failed at removing them.

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll take care of it. Like I said before, I’m more than happy to help you with them,” said Ren with a small grin.

It looked to be that Hux had no choice but to rely on Ren’s aid once again. He doubted very much that Ren minded of course, stripping him being exactly what he wanted in first place.

“Alright then,” replied Hux, almost as if he were giving Ren permission to proceed. Internally, Hux scoffed at himself. It wasn’t like he had any other opinion available or much of a choice in the matter.

He wondered if he should find it reassuring that regardless of the situation he found himself in, he wasn’t completely willing to give up control, even if it was questionable to just how much he actually had to begin with.

Hux closed his eyes as the bed dipped with the added bulk of what could only be Ren climbing atop of it. He tensed as he felt the alpha edging up the mattress towards him, until eventually he came to stop.

“Hux,” he heard Ren breathe out his name from above. Hux forced himself to open his eyes, finding Ren knelt there splayed out, caging Hux in between his legs.

Ren was staring down at him intently, causing Hux’s breath to hitch. His eyes quickly flittered elsewhere, unable to hold the other man’s gaze.

Hux let out a small gasp when his eyes eventually settled upon Ren’s chest. It was almost godly, as if it had been sculpted by one of the galaxy’s most renowned and distinguished artists. Not that Hux could pretend to know anything about art. However, he was sure that his comparison still stood. And in Hux’s opinion he would be hard pressed to find many people that would disagree with such an assessment.

His own chest on the other hand was woefully underwhelming.

“The lights…” Hux began, cursing himself once more as he remembered them, having managed to forget about them completely. Really he should have turned them off the moment he entered the bedroom, then he would have been able to avoid having Ren seeing him naked.

While it would have been a pity not to get to see Ren in all his magnificent glory, it would have been worth it to be spared anymore humiliation.

“Oh. Are they hurting your eyes?” asked Ren, appearing unbothered by the interruption. Maybe he was relieved to have an excuse to look away. “I uh, remember reading once that as well as smells, a lot of omegas out there are also sensitive to certain sounds and sights when they’re in heat. I guess the brightness won’t be helping you, huh?”

Hux nodded. “Yes. They’re hurting my eyes,” he lied.

Perhaps it was true that omegas in heat were sensitive to bright lights but having spent the vast majority of his life aboard star ships, Hux was used to experiencing what many would consider to be blinding artificial light on a daily basis. Compared to the lights that lined Finalizer’s long boundless corridors, the one’s in his quarters were fairly dim. He found it easier however to lie about his eyes hurting him than to openly admit that he simply didn’t want Ren to be able to get a proper look at his body.

Not that Ren hadn’t already gotten a good glimpse of him, he supposed. Or well, most of him that was, Ren still to actually strip him of his jodhpurs.

“No problem, I’ll get them,” said Ren, not breaking with his uncharacteristic courteousness behaviour. Rather than getting up from the bed or even moving from his current position, Ren conjured those mystic powers of his to reach out to the small panel on the wall to adjust the lights. However, much to Hux’s disappoint, Ren didn’t switch them off completely, instead only dimming them ever so lightly.

Hux repressed a sigh. It appeared that he wouldn’t be able to hide away in the dark after all. Of course in saying that, for all Hux knew, Ren might have some kind of incredible inhuman night vision that would allow him to see Hux regardless. The full extent of what Ren’s powers allowed him to do was always vague to Hux, and he doubted that Ren would care much to enlighten him.

“That better?” asked Ren, his eyes settling back down on Hux.

“Ah, yes. Thank you.” It wasn’t, or at least not what he had wanted, but nonetheless, Hux felt a strange compulsion to show Ren some gratitude regardless. Maybe it was the same urge Ren seemed to possess when it came to apologising to him of late, Hux still in a state of disbelief that Ren had said sorry to him not once but several times now.

Apparently, alpha and omega pheromones had far more unforeseen side-effects that Hux could have possibly anticipated. Still, he supposed it was comforting – albeit only mildly – to know that he wasn’t the only one being adversely affected by them. As much as alphas liked to boast of their superiority, when it came down to it, they were still just as much slaves to their own biology as omegas were despite pretending otherwise.

“I’m glad. This way, we can still see each other,” said Ren, sounding satisfied as he bent forward, leaning down towards Hux’s neck, inhaling his scent deeply.

Rather than be frustrated with himself that he hadn’t just claimed that the lights were still hurting his eyes and got Ren to dim them further, Hux was instead relieved. It appeared that he had been incorrect. Ren didn’t simply wish to pretend that he was just some other omega. He also hadn’t seemed to be put off by what he had seen of him so far, something which surprised Hux greatly.

“You’re not…” Hux started before slowly trailing off.

Ren made a small inquiring noise but didn’t pause in what he was doing, evidently distracted.

“It’s nothing,” replied Hux, his toes curling as he felt Ren’s soft breath against his neck. Now that he knew that Ren hadn’t been turned off by him, Hux decided that there was no reason to bring up any of his shameful insecurities.

Hux shuddered as Ren’s nose brushed against his neck. There happened to be something else of Ren’s that was brushing up against him as well, but for the moment at least, Hux tried to ignore it.

One thing at a time after all.

“Kriff. You smell so good,” Ren mused out loud, Hux finding that he got a small thrill out of being told so. When it came to an omega’s heat, alphas were more easily led by their noses than their eyes. Which if so, then Hux had nothing to be worried about. He could finally stop being so concerned about what Ren thought about his appearance.

“But you know, I bet your slick smells even better,” Ren continued.

Hux eyes widened at that, caught off guard. “My…My slick?”

Ren couldn’t be serious. That was…well, such a thing was disgusting!

Taking pleasure in the smell emitted from another’s scent glands was one thing, but to experience exhilaration from the slick secreted from someone’s backside was just down right perverse!

“Uh-huh,” Ren hummed shamelessly as he pulled back, “I can even smell it through your pants. I bet your underwear is absolutely drenched in it by now.”

“Re-Ren!” cried Hux, scandalised. Ren wasn’t wrong, but to bring up such a thing was mortifying to say the least.

“Come now, there’s no reason to be embarrassed, Hux,” teased Ren, “It’s completely natural.” Natural or not. It didn’t change the fact that it was still revolting.

“Surely, you should be used to all this by now. It’s not exactly your first heat, is it?”

Hux hesitated for a brief moment. “That’s not…That doesn’t matter!”

Ren chuckled, clearly getting a great deal of amusement out of his embarrassment. “Even now lying here, you’re so uptight, General. I told you that you should try to relax, didn’t I?”

To hear his title said in a scenario such as this one was jarring. And instead of relaxing as Ren suggested, it only made Hux tense up. Having already had no choice but to let go of the beta identity that he had spent years neatly carving out from himself, Hux had thought it wise to aim to keep a strong sense of self throughout his heat. However, while his rank was an important, if not the very essence of his identity, in truth Hux never felt like less of a general in his life than he did right now. The image of him on the bridge commanding troops and leading them to victory and the one of him here right now spread out on a bed, waiting for an alpha to knot him were completely at odds with each other. They were utterly irreconcilable.

Ren, meanwhile, was oblivious to his inner turmoil, intent on pushing forward. “These must feel so constricting,” said Ren, his eyes flitting down towards Hux’s jodhpurs, “I’m sure that you’ll feel much more comfortable with these off, wouldn’t you agree?”

While Hux knew that physically he would feel better, he doubted he would feel the same way mentally. For despite the long build-up, Hux still didn’t consider himself emotionally prepared for what would happen once they finally where off.

Sitting up, Ren reached over for the belt of Hux’s jodhpurs, unbuckling it with relative ease. Unlike Hux, Ren hadn’t lost his dexterity that allowed him to complete simple tasks.

With the belt undone, Ren unzipped his jodhpurs, grabbing on to the fabric and dragging them down Hux’s legs. Hux whimpered, lifting his hips a little as Ren did so.

Ren hauling them off somehow managed to be an agonisingly slow experience and yet at the same time, a painfully swift one, Hux still at war with whether he just wanted it all over with or to prolong it for as long as possible.

Once his jodhpurs were off, Ren tossed them towards the direction of his desk with very little care. Whether they actually landed on it or if they now lay somewhere haphazardly on the floor, Hux couldn’t say, unable to see much from his current position. That aside, it was difficult to focus on any sight other than Ren on top of him, the man seeming larger and more imposing than ever before.

Now that he was pinned beneath him, Hux supposed that Ren no longer felt any need to abide with his earlier demand for tidiness. And if he wasn’t so presently indisposed, he might have even scolded the alpha for his blatant disregard.

“There,” announced Ren, turning his attention back to Hux.

“Still, I bet getting these off is really what you’ve been looking forward to most. I know it has been for me,” Ren said playfully as he inserted his thumbs in between the waistband of Hux’s briefs, “Honestly, I can’t wait to see that cute little omega cock of yours.”

“Re-Ren!” Hux scolded, not quite sure if he was horrified, aroused, or both.

As Ren began to drag his underwear down, Hux immediately squeezed his eyes shut.

While Ren let out a small noise of appreciation, Hux let out a soft whimper as he felt the material of his briefs brush against his almost fully erect cock. Apparently in spite of all of the stress he was under, his body was still fully prised on getting him through this heat, whether he wanted it or not. Hux, meanwhile, was torn on whether he actually wished that his mind would follow suit. He didn’t want to lose himself, wanted to keep his agency, but he knew it would make getting through all of this that much easier.

Hux winced as he heard a soft squelching noise.

Stars alive, it was the jostling of his slick that was making the sound, he had secreted that much!

Why did being in heat have to be so dammed messy and disgusting? All the other related problems and inconveniences aside, it was no wonder that he chose to never actively go through a heat cycle. He wondered how anyone could possibly bare it before remembering that most, at least within the Order, had no real choice in the matter.

“Kriff, Hux. You’re so wet. I almost can’t believe it.” He heard Ren say as he continued removing them. Thankfully, there was no revulsion Ren’s his voice. Although in truth Hux wasn’t sure if it was worse that there wasn’t any.

Really Hux wished that he had been able to strip off his underwear himself. If he had then he would be spared at least one less indignity amongst the continuous onslaught of them.

Ren was breathing heavily and tentatively Hux opened his eyes to see the alpha holding his briefs in his hand. He appeared to be examining them. “There really is so much slick on these. Honestly, I’m amazed that you’ve lasted as long as you have. Your endurance is really impressive.”

“P-Put those down at once!” Hux demanded, ignoring Ren’s possible yet ambiguous compliment. “Get rid of them.”

“Still as bossy as ever no matter what position you’re in I see,” Ren chuckled as he tossed them on the floor. Hux was at least thankful that Ren hadn’t attempted to aim for the desk. If they had landed there, Hux would have had to have the damn thing incinerated, and he hated that kind of unnecessary waste.

“Hmm. Well, if you want rid of them that badly, maybe I should take them with me when I leave,” said Ren, a great deal of amusement in his voice, “I’m sure they’d make a wonderful keepsake of our time spent together here tonight.”

“Don’t you dare!” cried Hux, aghast by the mere suggestion. His underwear was definitely one of the things that would be getting incinerated once this was all over with. He didn’t even want a droid touching them let alone Ren holding on to them.

Ren however, no longer appeared to be listening to him. On his knees, the alpha’s eyes were now fixated completely on Hux as they wandered up and down his body, almost as if trying to soak up every single inch of him in.

It was at that, that Hux was reminded that like Ren, he was now completely naked. Stripped of his uniform, which in many ways was very much like his own unique brand of armour, Hux was filled with the intense urge to cover himself up and flee. He doubted that he could manage the latter, but if he could just turn himself around, maybe he could at least crawl underneath the sheets and out of sight from Ren’s considering eyes. Then again, Ren would likely be able to quickly stop him before he could get under fully. And even if he did manage, he didn’t want to experience the indignity of being dragged out by him.

Hux wondered if Ren could hear how rapidly his heart was thumping. It seemed almost impossible that he couldn’t.

“S-Stop it,” ordered Hux, hating how whiney and out of breath he sounded.

“Stop what?” asked Ren, grinning. It was indeed a strange sight. Not that Hux could exactly comment he supposed given how utterly debauched he himself looked right now.

Both of them looked as different from their normal selves as could possibly be. Perhaps if they didn’t stand out so much, albeit in their own unique ways, they could have been mistaken for people other than themselves. But that of course wasn’t the case. They were too well-known.

Thankfully, they were in Hux’s bedroom, away from prying eyes so it didn’t really matter.

Other than Ren, no one else would ever witness him in this state. As for Ren himself, Hux doubted that the alpha would mind anyone seeing him like this. Given that he had slept with other omegas in the past, they would have got to see this side of Ren as well.

Hux tried not to feel jealous about it.

“Stop staring at me,” Hux grumbled, his face red. He couldn’t stand Ren looking at him like this, judging him so openly.

Hux wondered if it would have been better if Ren had just kept that ghastly helmet of his on. It wouldn’t have done anything to stop Ren from staring at him but Hux suspected that being forced to gaze upon Ren’s ridiculously handsome face was making him more self-conscious that he might have been otherwise.

Of course in saying that, it was difficult to imagine any scenario where he didn’t feel like an anxious wreck.

Truly, anyone seeing him in this situation would be filled with disbelief if they were to learn that he was actually one of the highest ranking officers in the galaxy’s most dominating military force, as well as the mind behind the Starkiller superweapon responsible for wiping out the entire Hosnian system in a matter of minutes. As for those who were already aware of who he was…well, he didn’t want to even think about the absolute shock and disgust on their faces upon witnessing their commanding officer in this sort of position.

“Why? I’m just admiring you is all,” Ren replied innocently, again oblivious to Hux’s inner turmoil, “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Yes, well there’s really nothing to admire, is there?” Hux mumbled sullenly, ashamed. He hated having to think about his body, of being reminded about it in any way. Most of the time it rested beneath several layers of his uniform, making it easy enough to forget about and ignore; it’s only purpose being to help him in functioning with day-to-day tasks and achieving his goals. Now however, his body was completely exposed, something which he was acutely aware of it. It was impossible to ignore and contrasted with Ren’s perfect alpha body, there was no question that it was wholly inadequate.

Both in body type and personality, Hux was nothing like the type of idealised omega that was so desired. And while he had once taken great pleasure in such a fact, particularly as it made it easier to step into the beta identity he had assumed for himself, now in the midst of a heat with an impressive alpha like Ren gazing upon him, such knowledge only left him feeling woefully wanting.

When he was a young boy, Hux had often fantasised about possessing the ability to turn invisible solely for the purpose of being able to hide away and escape his father’s presence. And here now, decades later, while the circumstances and reasons behind it differed greatly, he still yearned for such an impossible power.

Upon hearing Hux’s words, the grin on Ren’s face disappeared, replaced instead with a frown. “Hey that’s not true.”

Hux scoffed. Or he attempted to anyway. It was difficult with his breathing being so compromised.

“Come on, what’s not to admire?” questioned Ren, sounding genuinely sincere.

Hux could list multiple things. Nevertheless, he remained silent. Or that was until Ren placed one of his hands upon his chest, resulting in him letting out a small yelp of surprise.

“Believe me, Hux, you look just as good as you smell,” Ren told him as he suddenly started to rub his thumb lightly against one of Hux’s nipples. “And if it wasn’t clear already, you smell pretty damn good.”

Hux gasped, shuddering. “Re-Ren, what are you –”

Like so much of his body, Hux often forgot that his nipples were even there to begin with. They served absolutely no purpose for him after all. And while it was true that in recent days, he had felt them chafing slightly against his uniform, considering all of his vastly more unpleasant heat-related symptoms, it had been only a minor inconvenience and as such not really worth focusing on.

“Re-Ren,” Hux panted. No one had ever touched his nipples in this way before and he had certainly never done so himself, their existence all but forgotten.

Ren paused for a moment. “Wait, no, that’s not right. You don’t look good,” Ren corrected himself with a small shake of his head.

Panic immediately rose within Hux at Ren’s words. No. He had thought that Ren had –

“No. The truth is you look _amazing_ ,” Ren amended as leant forward, whispering into Hux’s ear.

Ren’s praise filled Hux with an unexpected amount of joy and relief. Ren wasn’t dissatisfied with his appearance after all!

“You really think that?” Hux couldn’t help but ask, hating the uncertainty and longing in his voice. He was quick to assure himself however that it was only because of his omegan hormones; that in his normal state, he wouldn’t give a damn about Ren’s opinion regarding his appearance in the slightest.

“Of course, I do,” said Ren as he moved his attention to Hux’s other nipple, caressing it, almost as if he didn’t want to neglect one over the other. As before, Hux shuddered. He had no idea that nipples could be so sensitive. Of course, in saying that, presently his entire body was like one gigantic nerve. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t get the opportunity to tell if they responded to someone’s touch like this all the time or if it was simply a side-effect of his heat.

“How could I possibly think otherwise when you’re lying here naked below me and looking like this, just waiting to take my knot,” Ren continued, “How could I resist you?”

Hux’s pleasure wavered somewhat at Ren’s explanation, reminding Hux that in all likelihood, the only reason Ren even found him attractive right now was because, as Ren had said, he was laid naked on the bed beneath him. Then there was the pheromones he was currently emanating, of which would undoubtably be influencing the alpha’s perception of him.

Hux knew that if he weren’t in the middle of a heat, Ren’s view of him would be vastly different. After all, Ren had shown absolutely no interest in him before today. When Hux had appeared in the training room, like always, Ren had treated him coolly, only slightly altering his attitude when he became aware that he was an omega, and then once more when Hux had asked Ren to share his heat with him. 

Again, when it came to alphas and omegas, smell was more powerful than sight. Just about any omega in heat, even one such as himself, would seem sexually appetising to an alpha who had gotten a whiff of their scent.

Despite being confident that Ren believed what he said – at least for now – Hux still found himself tensing when Ren’s hand moved away from his chest and down towards his stomach, a place he had very much been hoping that Ren would ignore completely. And while, between nausea and old habits, he had eaten very little over the past several cycles resulting in a slightly flatter stomach than usual, Hux knew that it would still be fairly soft to touch. A far cry from Ren’s own incredibly toned abdomen.

To his relief however, Ren didn’t comment on it, his hand lingering there for only a brief moment longer before it edged over towards his hip.

“You’re still so tense,” observed Ren, “I suppose I’ll just have to do my best in trying to coax you into finally letting go.”

Such a thing was easier said than done, thought Hux miserably. Throughout his entire life he had been taught the immense and indisputable value of discipline and self-restraint. He clung to such principles fiercely, knowing for a fact that he wouldn’t have gotten as far as he had done in either his career or his life without abiding by them. Such values were so ingrained in him that letting go of them seemed like a nigh impossible feat. And to even attempt to do so practically flew in the face of everything he stood for.

Furthermore, he very much liked having control; _being_ in control. It was something he didn’t want to relinquish but as of now, what choice did he have? Of course, it was arguable that he hadn’t already lost control the moment he went into heat, none of this having factored into his carefully constructed plans that he had laid out for himself on his way to greatness.

His heat couldn’t be overcome through the use of his own cunning and by drawing up careful strategies. It wasn’t something to be solved. It was certainly a battle, but not any kind that he had ever fought before. And if he didn’t let go, there was a strong chance that he wouldn’t make it through alive.

While Ren had assured him that he would be here to take care of him, could he really leave it everything to Ren, a man who until several hours ago, Hux was sure was entirely indifferent to his existence?

That aside, Ren wasn’t exactly known as a bastion of self-control, the extensive list of damage to the Finalizer’s equipment an indisputable demonstration of this.

Yet here Hux was just supposed to simply lay back and entrust Ren with his wellbeing.

No, not just his wellbeing, his very _life_.

 _You have no choice but to rely on him_ , Hux reminded himself once more.

Yes. Ren was his only hope.

_But what if I can’t let go? What if it’s too much. What if I can’t go through it?_

_Then you’ll die._

Hux was suddenly awoken from his morbid thoughts by Ren carefully trailing his finger along the shaft of his cock, his hand having moved down from hip.

The noise that escaped Hux’s lips at that moment was deeply embarrassing and something that he had no control over whatsoever. It however, caused Ren to grin widely.

“Unsurprisingly, you’re far more sensitive here,” confirmed Ren as he proceeded to curl his hand around his dick.

Hux let out a small whine.

“Re-Ren,” Hux panted, squeezing his eyes shut.

Ren’s hands really were huge. So much so that Hux wondered how he hadn’t possibly noticed before.

“And I was right, your cock really is cute.”

Hux opened his eyes at that. “What are you talking about? Th-There’s nothing about it that’s cute,” he protested, once more caught off guard by Ren’s words, “It’s –”

He didn’t get the chance to finish however, finding himself gasping as Ren lightly brushed his thumb against the very tip of it.

“Sure there is. It’s just so small and pink. The perfect little omega cock,” murmured Ren, sounding almost worshipful of it.

Hux didn’t understand what Ren thought was so appealing or special about it. But that aside, Hux honestly didn’t think that that particular appendage of his was all that small. The majority of alphas just happened to be particularly well-endowed was all. If they went about comparing everything to their own – which as with most things, they did – then obviously everything would appear lacking.

Plus, Ren’s hands were _huge_. Of course his cock would appear petite to him with his large fingers enclosed around it.

Nevertheless, from the expression on the alpha’s face, lacking didn’t seem to be the word Ren would use to describe either his cock or Hux himself. In truth, Ren looked practically entranced. Even more so when a small bead of pre-come leaked out of the tip of it and onto his thumb.

Hux automatically opened his mouth to apologise when Ren let out a small satisfied groan, reminding Hux that such a thing didn’t require an apology, that it was a completely normal, if not expected, reaction.

In any case, Hux found himself somewhat envious that Ren’s groan sounded far more dignified than any of the embarrassing noises that had come from him thus far. He dreaded to think how many more he would make by the time the evening had ended.

Between Ren staring at him and cradling his dick in his hand, not to mention, the ongoing burning inferno, which was located in the pit of his stomach, Hux couldn’t help but squirm. Slick was continuing to leak from his backside and the more he writhed, the more he became aware of it. He felt utterly disgusting. He would have to have the sheets, if not the entire bed, incinerated once this was all over with, waste be damned.

He whimpered weakly, doubting that he would be able to take much more of this, something which Ren seemed to pick up on.

“Kriff, Hux, are you…” Ren paused for a moment.

“I’m going to take you right now,” Ren stated resolutely as he let go of his dick. Despite himself, Hux couldn’t help but bemoan the sudden loss of contact.

“Do you have any lube in here?” asked Ren, his breathing heavier than it had been just seconds before.

“L-Lube?” Hux echoed back, barely able to process what Ren was asking him.

But once he did, he realised that he didn’t actually have any on hand. Had never had any reason to keep any here.

“I don’t –”

“Yeah, you’re right, you probably won’t need it judging by how much slick your underwear was drenched in,” said Ren, misunderstanding his meaning, “You’re more than ready to take me the way you are now.”

Hux immediately tensed. Take him? Then that meant that Ren was about to…

Hux bit his lip.

“Ren, I –”

“Don’t worry, I plan on opening you up first, of course,” Ren assured.

Hux wanted to believe that it was the haziness that came with being in heat that resulted in him taking so long to grasp what Ren was referring to; that Ren was intending on using his fingers to stretch him open before putting his dick inside of him.

Yes, Ren would use those ridiculously long and thick fingers of his. And then after that he would penetrate him with his huge cock and thrust into him over and over again until he eventually knotted him. Hux would be trapped there with Ren able to do whatever he pleased with him, completely at Ren’s mercy.

Of course, it was debatable whether he wasn’t already. He doubted he could escape if he even tried. Not that he should need to. This was what he had been aiming for after all.

Nevertheless, a wave of panic hit Hux at full pelt as he thought about it all.

He felt sick. This was what his body wanted. What it _needed_ , and yet he still couldn’t entirely comprehend that it was actually happening. Given all the glaring evidence, not to mention the fact that he would undergo great physical harm or even risk death if he didn’t go ahead and have sex with Ren, it seemed preposterous that there was still a part of him that couldn’t fully commit it to reality; as if it were just some huge misunderstanding or a bizarre dream.

One thing that he could comprehend however, was that he knew he should be grateful that a magnificently handsome and powerful alpha like Ren would be willing to partake in his heat with him, that Ren had even agreed to it in spite of the undeniably contentious relationship they had shared over the years. Not to mention Hux’s lack of any desirable omegan characteristics.

And while it was true that Hux found Ren incredibly attractive – had done so since the very first moment he had seen the alpha without his helmet on – there was nothing more to it than that. Just some mild physical attraction that was easy enough to repress and to ignore. Hux had never wanted anything to happen and neither could he have ever possibly conceived something such as this occurring, not in any circumstance. Not with Ren, nor with any other person.

None of this had factored into any of his plans whatsoever. Then again, neither had the utter destruction of Starkiller Base. He couldn’t exactly blame the despicable Resistance for his current predicament, however. No, this was his own damned fault. He should have prepared for this scenario. But when denying a part of yourself so completely, it was difficult to plan let alone acknowledge it in any way.

“Just relax, okay,” said Ren, bringing Hux back to reality. Despite being practically on top of him, Ren sounded faraway. Distant almost. 

Ren was not faraway however, as several moments later, he was cupping his ass, telling him to lift up his hips. Hux responded to the alpha’s order without question, as if his body were automatically primed to react to the alpha’s commands.

Biologically speaking, it probably was. _He_ was. Ready to do whatever the alpha wanted of him.

In any case, while he was the one going through his heat and despite it being his life that was on line, as an alpha, Ren would be taking the reins. The only thing that Hux was required to do was to lie there and take it. Just relax and let go of everything.

Except he couldn’t.

“Wow, there really is so much slick,” murmured Ren as he elevated Hux’s ass slightly higher, “It’s gone and soaked right through to the sheets.”

With Ren’s other hand briefly brushing against his ass in addition to the small dip in the mattress, Hux realised that Ren was actively pressing down on the damp patch underneath him rather than trying to avoid it.

He would have almost certainly been filled with insurmountable shame if he weren’t so concerned with what else he was about to be filled with.

Yes. He had been trying desperately to avoid focusing on it, had even succeeded for a while, but it was all but impossible now. It was amazing that he had been able to ignore it for so long. For as big as Ren’s hands were, it was nothing compared to the size of his cock. From what Hux could tell, Ren was fully erect, emphasising the scale of it even more. Hux was positive that there was no way that he could possibly take all of it inside of him. It was too big. Surely, it would tear him apart.

Hux squeezed his eyes shut, and if possible his heart was racing even faster than it had been just moments before.

“Can’t wait to be inside of you,” Ren murmured faintly. “I’m going to make you feel so good. I promise.”

Unfortunately, neither Ren’s words nor his promise did anything to comfort him.

Hux winced when he felt one of Ren’s fingers brush lightly against his entrance. In response, he clenched the bedsheets between his fingers as tightly as he could.

“So much slick.” He heard Ren repeat as the alpha lifted up his finger to inspect it. Hux had no idea if such a thing was a good or not. He had no idea what alphas liked or expected from the omegas they bedded. There was the possibility that like betas, they had different preferences, but it did nothing to change the fact that he had no idea what _Ren_ expected from him; what Ren liked and wanted. And currently he was in no state to try and figure it out.

“Kriff, Hux. You’re so tense. You really need to relax a little,” advised Ren, “If not then I won’t be able to -”

“Stop!” Hux screamed abruptly as one of Ren’s fingers pressed against his hole, “Ren, stop!”

Why he thought he would be capable of going through with this, Hux had no idea. He had assumed that with all the hardships he had endured in life in order to get to where he was, that this would be nothing in comparison.

How wrong he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear that I don't intentionally try to end my chapters at the most awkward of places and yet somehow it works out that way. 😩 
> 
> Okay, so next chapter, I promise that Hux really will get through his heat (with Kylo's help of course). 
> 
> Fingers crossed, but next update shouldn't take quite as long to get out.
> 
> I know it's been dragging a bit so thanks so much to everyone who has stuck with this so far. It's really appreciated. 🙂
> 
> Feel free to poke me on [tumblr](https://yanyangire.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/yangiretrash).


	6. Chapter 6

Hux felt Ren immediately draw back his hand back at his sudden outburst. 

“Hux, what’s wrong?” questioned Ren, confusion and panic in his voice. Hux barely took any notice of it however, too distracted by his own frantic breathing which bordered almost on hyperventilation. It had been many a year since he last had a panic attack. Not since he was a child and it certainly wasn’t something he wished to experience again.

“I just can’t!” Hux cried, squeezing his eyes shut as they began welling up with tears, “I can’t do this!”

“Hux, calm down! Just take a deep breath,” urged Ren as he clamoured off of him.

Hux attempted to do what Ren suggested with little success. He was just too stressed, too overwhelmed, and most of all, terrified.

After climbing off of him, Ren shuffled towards the top of the bed and knelt there on the opposite side of Hux. The alpha stared over at him, looking troubled and again, confused.

Despite his own overwhelming anxiety, Hux couldn’t help but feel guilty. It was more than likely that Ren never had to deal with something like this with the other omegas he had slept with in the past, again those ones undoubtably eager to be pleasured by the striking alpha that had decided them worthy of bedding.

This was becoming more and more of an ordeal with each passing second and there was no doubt in Hux’s mind that Ren must now greatly regret ever agreeing to this. There was no way that just getting the opportunity to sleep with an omega was worth all this hassle. And the funny thing was, Ren wouldn’t even get to in the end.

“Hux, tell me what’s wrong,” pleaded Ren, “Did I…Did I somehow hurt you? I mean, I don’t think I actually did anything, but if I did cause you harm then I –”

Hux shook his head. While he had opened his eyes back up, he couldn’t bring himself to physically look at the other man. “No. You…You didn’t hurt me, Ren.”

Ren let out a sigh of relief at that. “Good. That’s good. I…I’m glad,” said Ren, reminding Hux of the alpha’s unexpected carefulness with him, as if he were something to be looked after. The fact that Kylo hadn’t raged at and lashed out at him was shocking. Or rather it would have been shocking had it not been for Kylo’s behaviour this past cycle.

“Hux, come on, tell me what’s wrong,” encouraged Ren after several moments of silence, the heavy breathing of each of them the only thing breaking through the quiet, “Why do you think you can’t do this? I mean, until a moment ago, you…”

“I just can’t is all!” Hux snapped. It wasn’t an explanation, but there was no way he could possibly tell Ren the truth. It was humiliating, and he had had enough humiliation to last an entire lifetime already.

Ren’s brows furrowed together. “Hux, this is _serious_. If you don’t let me knot you and _soon_ , then your life could be in real danger. And perhaps more importantly for you, as it seems to be the only damned thing you care about; you wouldn’t be able to return to your duties and –”

“I’m well aware of that already!” cried Hux. He should have known that Ren wouldn’t simply accept things and leave him be given Ren’s sudden intense interest into his life. “Nonetheless, it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t do this. It’s…It’s too much.”

“What do you mean too much?”

“This whole situation. I never thought…” Hux trailed off, placing his arm over his face. “I don’t know how…”

“Is it…Is it me?” Ren asked tentatively, “Is that what’s stopping you from… Is it that you don’t find me attractive? I mean, is there some other alpha you’d rather –”

“What? Of course not!” cried Hux, lifting his arm and glancing back over to look at Ren, shocked that Ren even considered such a thing to be a possibility. Ren was one of the handsomest, not to mention most powerful alphas he had ever met. “Of course I find you attractive, Ren.”

_How could I not_? he let go unsaid.

“And no, there’s no other alpha that I rather be with.” As awfully as things were going, strangely he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. So much so that it was difficult to think just how much he used to resent having to spend time with Ren.

At least that’s what he had always thought. Now, however, he wasn’t so sure.

“I assure you, the reason I can’t go through with this has nothing to do with you,” stated Hux, as despite everything, he felt the need to clarify, “I promise,”

“It’s all down to my own failings,” he admitted reluctantly.

Ren looked momentarily relieved until the concerned expression on his face returned.

“Okay, then, well if it’s not me then at least tell me what it is that’s wrong; what I can actually do to help.”

“You can’t help, Ren,” Hux replied dejectedly.

“Try me. I’m capable of some pretty incredible things,” argued Ren, determined, “Come on, Hux, you know how powerful I am.”

“Believe me, I’m well aware,” said Hux, the corner of his mouth even tilting up slightly into what in another situation could have almost counted as a smile. Yes. He had gotten to witness Ren’s powers first-hand on several occasions and on each one, despite any misgivings he held towards the man personally, he couldn’t help but being mesmerised.

“Still, I’m afraid your powers can’t help me. Not with this at least.”

Yes, unless Ren could somehow travel back into the past and alter time, then his powers would be of no use to him. Alas, even if Ren did possess such an ability, it would be ridiculous to waste it on something as shameful as this. Especially in the face of the other problems the Order was facing courtesy of the blasted Resistance. And despite Ren’s apparent desire to help him, Hux doubted that even Ren would squander such a powerful gift on him.

Ren shook his head. “No. I don’t accept that. There has to be something that I can do,” he reiterated, stubborn as ever.

“Ren -”

“At least explain to me what the problem is.”

Hux glanced away from him again. Ren deserved to know, Hux knew that. He deserved to know why when he had finally gotten the omega to bed, why Hux suddenly decided that he no longer wanted this.

The sad thing was that Hux did actually _want this_. Despite his anxiety, he had enjoyed Ren touching him. He wanted more but he couldn’t have it. And neither could he tell Ren the reason why either. It was too humiliating.

“I apologise for wasting your time, Ren,” Hux started, “But I’m afraid that I won’t be able to make good on our arrangement. If I do manage to survive my heat, then I’ll do my best to somehow compensate you for the time you’ve taken out in your schedule to come here. I’ll also attempt to reimburse you for having to put up with such disgraceful behaviour on my part.”

Saying all of this, Hux realised how ludicrous he sounded. Not only because of how stupidly formal he sounded, but in the face of Ren’s incredibly Force powers, not to mention, the alpha’s obvious physical advantages against him, Ren could easily take whatever he wanted from him, his apology and his assurances to compensate him be damned. And yet, strangely Hux wasn’t fearful about that happening. After everything Ren had shown him today, after Ren’s own reassurances to him, albeit of a different nature, Hux refused to believe that such a thing would happen.

“I promised that I’d be here to help you get through this and that’s what I intend on doing,” Ren announced firmly, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Hux forced himself to ignore Ren and continue speaking. “You could try your luck and attempt to locate some willing omega to sleep with here on the ship, possibly even one in heat if you’re fortunate,” suggested Hux, regardless that the thought of Ren leaving him to seek out some other omega filled him with inexplicable sadness.

Most of the omegas on the ship would be too young, already mated to an alpha or if not mated then in the process of being courted by or at least promised to one. In truth, however, Hux didn’t believe it would be all that farfetched a scenario for an omega to leave their existing or future mate for Kylo Ren. If currently he was in the situation in which he had been forcibly mated to some old Imperial had Brendol not helped him conceal his designation to save himself the shame of having an omega son, then Hux was sure he would jump at the chance to be with someone like Ren instead. 

“If not onboard the Finalizer, then you could take your shuttle to the nearest inhabited planet and find an omega there,” Hux continued, “I’m sure someone like you would have no trouble finding a willing partner. Although, I admit it’ll be harder to come across a male omega, given their –” _Our._ “– scarcity.”

It was true that male omegas were far rarer than their female counterparts, something which whenever the odd times he even acknowledged that he was born an omega, made Hux angry. After relenting and accepting that he wasn’t going to present as an alpha as he had originally hoped, upon realising the advantages of the being a beta, Hux had graciously embraced the designation. That he could actually be an omega had never occurred to him, so assured and confident was he that as a male, that such a thing wasn’t impossible. Maybe it was something that could happen to others, but certainly not to him.

“In any case, I don’t doubt that the omega you find will be able to satisfy you far better than I could hope to,” Hux couldn’t help but add. He hated how pathetic he sounded. It wasn’t like him to be so openly disparaging about himself but ever since the destruction of Starkiller Base, self-depreciating thoughts had been circling around his head. And now with his heat upon him and his hormones out of whack, he was experiencing some sort of inane compulsion to voice them out loud to Kylo Ren of all people.

“Hux, I don’t want some another omega. I want _you_. That’s why I came–” Ren stopped and although Hux wasn’t looking at him, he could feel Ren edge closer towards him.

If it were possible that his body could become even tenser than it already was, Hux was sure it would cause him great injury. But regardless, his untreated heat would surely do the trick. 

In any case, had he been wrong? Was Ren really planning on having his…well, having his way with him after all despite his protests?

“No, this isn’t about that. It isn’t about what _I_ want. And I swear, I’m not going to force you do to anything you don’t want to,” explained Ren, causing Hux to relax a tiny fraction.

Ren was closer to him now but just as Ren previously done, he was refraining from touching him. Given the incredibly intimate position they had been in just mere minutes ago, not to mention the fact that Ren’s alpha instincts would be screaming out for him to take the omega in heat that was before him, Hux was aware of how difficult it must be for Ren to hold himself back. His restraint was truly commendable, and Hux was grateful for it.

“Still, I would appreciate it if you’d tell me why you can’t go through with this, especially given what’s at stake here,” continued Ren.

Hux forced himself to look at Ren and in return, Ren offered him a small albeit uneasy smile. “If you tell me, you can always consider it as part of your compensation towards me.”

The fact that Ren was lying next to him making a joke like that and not throwing him across the room in a fit of anger was incredible to Hux. And had they been in a different situation – although he couldn’t imagine what it would be – Hux might have even laughed at Ren’s joke. Unfortunately, however, they were not.

Hux opened his mouth in an attempt to offer some sort a reply, only to find himself yet again at a loss for words. As someone who prided himself in knowing what to say in almost all situations regardless of circumstances – there was a reason he was in charge of propaganda as well as the one chosen to address the Order on mass with his grandiose speeches – Hux truly hated the feeling of being left speechless; of not knowing what to say.

It reminded him of when he was but a small and frightened child, back before he had developed a quick enough wit to offer semi-adequate responses to satisfy his father whenever he had felt the need to interrogate and terrorise his young son.

Having to justify himself was second nature to Hux, although admittedly finding himself in positions in which he needed to had diminished as he had ascended the ranks. The only person left that he really had to explain himself to now was Leader Snoke himself. Or well, Snoke and now Ren it would seem.

Hux deeply looked forward to the time when he would never have to defend himself to another person ever again. Of course, with the way things were going, getting to such a place seemed nigh impossible; the immense progress he had made over the years appearing all for nought.

“I know that you’ve been nervous about all of this. I could tell when you approached me in the training room. Back then, I thought it was just your reaction to me learning that you’re an actually an omega and that you’d been hiding your designation for all these years,” Ren continued, seemingly undeterred by Hux’s lack of response.

“When I came here to your quarters, and you were still anxious, I suppose I just assumed it was concern over the unprecedented nature of your heat; of it feeling more intense than usual. And more importantly, your life being at risk. But there’s more to it than that, isn’t there? There’s something else that you’re not telling me.”

Hux stilled.

“You’re frightened, holding something back. There’s also the way you’ve been behaving, so unsure of everything; so unsure of yourself…” Ren furrowed his brow, looking troubled. As Ren was almost always wearing his helmet whenever he encountered him, it was yet another expression that Hux had never seen on him. “You’re usually so confident, Hux. This isn’t…This isn’t like you at all.”

Hux’s despair deepened upon hearing Ren’s words. He had been trying so hard to remain calm and composed all day, to get through all of this without cracking completely, but in the end, Ren had seen straight through him. And right from the very beginning it seemed, even if Ren hadn’t been aware what it was that he was witnessing.

Hux had failed completely at hiding his emotions; of concealing all his fear and anxieties that where swirling around horribly inside of him making him feel like he was losing his mind. Ren, meanwhile, despite a few misplaced words that had led to some hurt feelings on Hux’s part, had been doing a pretty damn good job of masking his own disappointment and frustration with both Hux and the situation he found himself in.

“I know that omegas when they’re in heat, that they can become…I mean, they…” Ren faltered for moment, trying to find the right words. Hux couldn’t fault him given that he couldn’t seemed to get a single one out himself. “What I’m saying is, I know what it’s like to have your emotions overwhelm you…It happens to me a lot. But the way you’ve been behaving, it’s like you’ve never actually been knot–”

Ren stopped mid-word, and Hux watched as realisation crept upon Ren’s face, much in the same way it had done when he had discovered that Hux was an omega. And much like that time, it appeared that Ren had figured it out on his own without Hux having to actually confess anything. In a way, such a thing was almost worse, it demonstrating to Hux that he was too cowardly to voice the truth out loud himself. In the back of his head, he could hear Brendol sneering at him.

“Hux, is this your first…” Ren paused for moment, undoubtably in a state of disbelief, “Is this your first time being with an alpha while you’ve been in heat?”

Hux had been absolutely positive that Ren learning that he was an omega would be the most mortifying thing that would ever happen to him, but here in this position, with he and Ren in bed together completely naked and having had just been about to have sex, that evidently wasn’t the case.

Hux couldn’t really blame Ren for being so shocked. An omega having not been knotted at his age even if they weren’t intending on bonding or becoming pregnant by an alpha, was practically unheard of. Even within the blasted New Republic were mating practices were far laxer than within the First Order, Hux doubted that there would be anyone in a similar position to him, at least not at the ripe age of thirty-four. Ren’s shock told him as much; the man a true child of the Republic, no matter how much he tried to refute it. Not that Hux could exactly criticise. In any case, thirty-four was a young age to be a General, but certainly not to be an unknotted omega, let alone an unbonded one.

For a brief moment, Hux debated denying it, to claim that Ren was being utterly ridiculous, that of course he had been with an alpha before Ren. After all, how could he not have been with one at his age? He could say that he simply realised that this whole thing was a massive mistake and thus he had changed his mind, instead choosing to get through his heat on his own.

He wouldn’t, however. Ren would surely see right through him; be able to tell easily that he was lying to him. But more than that, Hux thought that Ren deserved to know the truth; that he had earned some sort of explanation. And so, despite the immense strain both his body and mind were currently under, Hux forced himself to finally offer up a reply, or perhaps more aptly, a confession to Ren.

“Yes. I’ve never been knotted before,” he admitted, his voice devoid of much emotion, as if he weren’t in fact divulging one of his greatest shames. Perhaps that was the only reason he was able to continue speaking. “The truth is, I’ve never experienced a real heat before. Not since the first time I presented, and even that was cut short.”

Yes. Upon his father finding him, after a barrage of disgusted yet hushed admonishments – Brendol certainly hadn’t wanted to attract any attention from any passer byers – he had gone seeking suppressants for him. The medication Brendol had brought back and administered to Hux had blessedly resulted in an early end to his heat, it again being the only time in Hux’s entire life in which he was ever grateful to his father for something. Not that it was actually for his benefit of course, Hux having no doubt in his mind whatsoever that if it hadn’t worked, his father would have killed him right then and there. After all, it would be much less shameful to have his bastard son found murdered by some random cadet who he could easily pin the blame on than for it to be discovered that his child was actually an omega. No one would suspect Brendol of murdering his own child, even those who knew Brendol had no real love for him.

Despite how much he despised the notion, particularly Brendol being the one to kill him, in all honesty Hux would have preferred it that way; to die rather than be outed as an omega. Not only because of the unbearable shame he would face but also the degrading and unfulfilling life he would have been forced into.

Thankfully, things didn’t turn out that way.

One of the most amusing things for Hux was that if the medication hadn’t worked and Brendol had in fact killed him, then the man would in all likelihood still be alive here today. Even if not, then at the very least his death wouldn’t have been as nearly as agonising as the one he endured at his and Phasma’s hands. Hux supposed that, whether he died or was outed as an omega to the First Order, that Brendol’s gruesome death was something that no one could take away from him.

After hearing Hux’s confession, Ren pushed himself up, continuing to stare at Hux with an expression of disbelief. “You’ve never gone through a heat before?” he said, if possible, sounding even more shocked than before, “But that’s impossible! There’s no way that –”

“And yet it’s the truth,” retorted Hux, aiming for his voice to be curt but knowing that it came out sounding weak and resigned instead.

Thankfully, Ren didn’t try to argue with him, instead closing his mouth and nodding acceptingly. 

For whatever reason this encouraged Hux to continue. Although possibly he was just aware that what he had said wouldn’t be nearly enough to quell the alpha’s interest. “I’ve been on suppressants since the very day that I presented. My father is the only one who knew what I was, and when he learned about it, he never let me anywhere near medbay. The little incident of me presenting as an omega and experiencing my first heat was never reported and thus never documented. That’s why I’m listed as a beta on my all my official records, including my medical ones.”

“No one would think to question your designation. Especially with you being male,” said Ren out loud, almost to himself.

“Exactly. As far as my instructors and fellow cadets at the academy were aware, I was but a simple beta; not _fortunate_ enough to be born an alpha, but more than capable.”

“If no one barring your father knew you were an omega, then you must have had to get your suppressants outside the First Order.”

“Yes, my father acquired the suppressants for me to continue taking for the remainder of my time at the academy. After that, I was on my own. But I’m nothing if not resourceful, and it was easy enough to smuggle them into whatever ship I was stationed on at the time. Though admittedly, it wasn’t completely without its risks.”

The first few times, Hux had ever smuggled them in, he had been terrified of being discovered, aware that there were regular sweeps that took place for both incoming and outgoing deliveries on First Order ships. The Order couldn’t allow illegal contraband to be brought aboard their ships after all, especially as the Order provided its officers with everything that they needed to live productive lives in its service. Of course, this applied only to the lower ranking officers, the higher ranked afforded much more leeway in what they could obtain and indulge in. And at the time, as a recently graduated cadet, Hux was very much in the lower ranks amongst his fellow officers. He hadn’t been afforded any luxuries despite who his father was.

Both the packaging and labelling on the suppressants as well as the body sprays and soaps he used to conceal his scent were always discreet and it was unlikely that someone would figure out their true purpose, but at the time it did nothing to ease Hux’s fear of being found out.

Looking back at it now, Hux wondered if he needn’t have worried about it. Most had been aware that he was the son of Commandant Hux. It was a name that carried weight within the Order and those conducting the searches, usually petty officers or stormtroopers, certainly wouldn’t have wanted to get on his father’s bad side. Still, while his concern may not have been entirely warranted, Hux didn’t regret his caution in the matter. It had provided him with insight in how to prevent smuggling amongst the crew members aboard his own ship, knowing the best ways to do it from years of personal experience.

“Smuggling, huh?” said Ren, sounding almost wistful.

Ah, yes, Han Solo, Ren’s father was, or rather _had been_ , a smuggler when alive. He may have been a lowlife degenerate as far as Hux was concerned, but he doubted Solo would have smuggled anything for the Order. Then again, with how many people seemed to have a grudge against the man, Hux had no idea if Solo would have any real issue with it, his wife being the highest-ranking leader of the Resistance notwithstanding. A job was a job after all, and smugglers weren’t exactly well-known for the moral integrity and having much qualm with what they smuggled.

“Omegas, they’re supposed to go through at least two heats a year,” Ren mused for a moment before quickly adding, “I mean, I know that you’re not lying about it, but it’s still hard to believe that you’ve actually never gone through one before.”

“As I was on suppressants the entire time, I didn’t experience any particular urges to engage in such a thing.” He left what urges those were unsaid, knowing that he didn’t need to explain them to Ren. In any case, it was a far cry from how he currently felt. Truly, he had no idea how most omegas didn’t go insane from them. Then again, their heats were regular occurrences. They likely became swiftly accustomed to their urges during and prior to their heats, maybe even finding pleasure in them. Additionally, unlike Hux’s, their heats weren’t life-threatening, making it difficult to compare them overall.

“I suppose that would be helpful,” replied Ren, although he did sound like he was finding it difficult to grasp, almost as if he had forgotten that the purpose of suppressants was to _suppress_. “Still, it must have been hard having to keep the fact that you’re an omega to yourself. Not being able to tell anyone.”

“Not particularly. I preferred keeping it a private matter.” Yes, it wasn’t anyone else’s business as far as he was concerned and he had never experienced any desire to tell someone. Nor did he understand some people’s – primarily alphas – strange compulsion to flaunt their designations in other people’s faces as if it were the most important things about them rather than their capabilities and the strength of their character.

“Wasn’t there anyone you could, you know, share your heat with?” asked Ren, inquisitively. “A fellow cadet maybe?”

Hux would have snorted if he thought it wouldn’t impair his breathing further. The fact that Ren was asking him such a thing was a huge indication that he hadn’t grown up within the First Order. That was, at least not the Order Hux had experienced as a child; the one that had existed in the shadow of the Empire, struggling to reclaim its previous glory and military prowess. With everyone constantly competing against each other, knowledge of his true designation would have been the ultimate blackmail material. Hux shuddered to think about the power another cadet would have over him if they knew, particularly one of his alpha classmates.

“No. No one,” stated Hux. He wouldn’t have trusted anyone with his secret, even someone he might have felt fondness towards prior to presenting. But most importantly, he certainly wouldn’t have trusted an alpha, which unfortunately for him only those of that designation could properly help him out during at heat. At least when it came to being knotted.

“I can understand that. Not feeling that you can trust someone,” Ren replied. He sounded sad when he said so and despite the perilous situation he was in, Hux couldn’t help but feel odd bout of sympathy for the man; of kinship almost. Ren may have had a cushy and spoiled upbringing in the New Republic, but for all the hardships that Hux had endured as a child, at the very least the people he was surrounded with shared the same ideals as him and were united in their goals. For Ren however, that had very much not been the case.

“Still, couldn’t you have taken some leave to go find a willing alpha to spend one of your heats with outside the Order?” Hux frowned. Ren was echoing his own words back at him; his previous suggestion to Ren that he go track down a willing omega in lieu of him.

“If I kept gallivanting off to some backwater planet every time I went into heat, I’d draw a great deal of unnecessary attention to myself. Cadets and young officers aren’t exactly given free rein to disappear and go do as they please, you know. It’s not something that I could have risked.”

“Not even once?” questioned Ren.

Hux ignored him. “I intended to focus completely on my career and that involved dedicating every second of my life to the Order. I didn’t have time for such frivolities.”

“The needs of your body be damned,” Ren stated plainly.

“Exactly,” Hux replied, seeing no point in denying it. Really there was no point in trying to deny anything anymore.

“Well, I suppose I can’t judge too much. The Jedi, despite all their power, denied themselves a great number of things. And I had been training to be one. It was years before I properly started to question their misplaced beliefs” admitted Ren, sounding genuinely remorseful.

Yes, from what Hux was aware of, the Jedi were forbidden from having emotional attachments of any kind, in addition to the vow they took to remain completely celibate for the entirety of their lives. Or at least they were supposed to remain celibate and unattached. But given who Ren’s Grandfather was and that Ren even existed at all demonstrated that not all the Jedi followed such a fundamental rule.

Considering the no intimacy rule and the fact that he doubted that the Jedi would have permitted the use of suppressants or the taking of other such medicines, Hux suspected that meant there hadn’t been any omegas amongst the Jedi’s ranks. He cared not for such ridiculous mysticism, but it seemed a shame to waste someone’s potential on such grounds. Hux had no idea if alphas were able to become Jedi, but as with most things in this world it seemed, Hux imagined that they were given a free pass. Ren certainly had been after all, back when he was known as _Ben Solo_.

“But that’s not the case anymore,” Ren continued, “I’m free of the ways of the Jedi. I’m no longer constrained. I don’t have to deny myself and neither should you, Hux.”

Hux instinctively went to grit his teeth only to find that he couldn’t, needing as much air as he could get right now.

“You make it sound so bloody easy. Then again, I suppose for you it is,” said Hux, resentful, referring not only to the fact that Ren was an alpha. Ren was an outsider within the First Order. He didn’t have to abide by protocols and concern himself with his image the same way that Hux did, the way he had been expected to since the very day he was born.

“That’s not true,” protested Ren, “I know that our circumstances are different but –”

“Of course, they’re different! If I had been born an alpha like you, we wouldn’t be having this blasted conversation! I wouldn’t be in this position at all!” cried Hux despairingly, “You claim that I’ve been denying myself because I’ve never gone through a heat, but how could I deny something that I never even wanted for myself in the first place? I’ve gone almost two decades without having to deal with nonsense like that thanks to my suppressants.”

Hux clenched the bedsheets between his fists. “You and Fahey were both so shocked when you found out, but up until about a week ago I was doing absolutely fine having not been through a heat nor having been with an alpha. I was fine all on my own!”

“You’re not fine now though, that’s the problem,” said Ren softly.

“No. I’m not,” admitted Hux after several moments, feeling the fight in him completely drain away. “It’s finally caught up with me. I suppose it was naïve of me to think that I could avoid it forever. Even though I took suppressants each cycle, I rarely gave much thought to their actual purpose. As far as I was concerned, it was the same as taking vitamins or stims; helping me to get through the day and to keep my body functioning and in working order.” He let out a weak laugh. “It’s funny, I always believed that other omegas were idiotic for not taking suppressants given the amount of hassle it would save them in their every day-to-day lives. But in the end, I’m the one who’s the real idiot.” 

“Hey, you’re not stupid,” Ren said firmly, edging closer to him, “You were just afraid. Just like you’re afraid now.”

“I –”

_No more denying anything_ , Hux said to himself, remembering his previous resolve to be truthful with Ren.

“Yes. I am afraid. I’ve never done this before and I…” Hux limply lifted his hand and placed it over his face. “Stars, you must think me utterly pathetic.”

Ren shook his head. “That’s not true. I don’t think that at all.”

Hux scoffed, although it came out sounding more like a cough. “I find that very hard to believe.”

“It’s the truth,” Ren confirmed, “I understand that this is scary for you. I just wish I were doing a better job of making you feel more comfortable with all of this. It’s an alpha’s job to take care of their omega after all.”

“Uh, I mean, the omega they’re with,” Ren hastily added, looking slightly embarrassed by the slip.

Hux shook his head. “No, you shouldn’t blame yourself for any of this. As I said before, this is the result of my own doing. I was the one who got myself into this unfortunate state.” Yes. He couldn’t pin the blame on his father or the New Republic for this. He had managed to wind up here all on his own, and as such, he couldn’t allow anyone to shoulder the responsibility, especially not Ren, the only person who was helping him. 

“I admit, I was tentative about going through my heat for the very first time but I never for a second imagined that I would react so, well…poorly.” That was indeed putting it mildly. “I apologise again for dragging you into this. You came here expecting something and instead you’re having to deal with this absolute disaster of an evening. I’m sure you had better things you could have been spending your time doing.” Admittedly, Hux wasn’t entirely sure what those things would be – Ren’s personal life a mystery to him – but he didn’t doubt that it was true. Then, despite himself, corners of Hux’s mouth curled up slightly. “Honestly, between you not having destroyed my quarters in a fit of anger and your continuing refusal to leave, I’m rather astounded.”

“It’s true that this wasn’t exactly what I was expecting but I don’t regret coming here tonight,” Ren said earnestly, “I’m glad that you approached me earlier when I was training.; that you asked me for my help.”

Hux lifted his hand away from his face, the sweat from his face now dampening his fingertips. “Really?”

Ren nodded. “Really.”

“It’s funny, before I would have believed that your lack of regret in coming would be related purely to you at least getting to watch me suffer in what might just be the most demeaning way possible. That that alone would make it all worth coming here for you,” confessed Hux.

“But you don’t think that now.”

“No. I don’t,” Hux admitted truthfully. Then, mustering all of his strength, somehow, Hux managed to push himself up into a sitting position. Ren immediately went to reach for him only to hold himself back from touching Hux, his hand lingering mere inches away from his right arm. With the way Ren was behaving towards him, there was no way he could believe that Ren actually wanted to see him suffer. And unconditionally convinced of this, Hux was finally able to bring himself to look Ren in the eyes again.

“I know that for whatever reason you genuinely want to help me.”

Ren smiled that crooked smile of his. “You’ve finally caught on, huh? I’m glad that I was finally able to persuade you.”

Hux had been about to ask Ren the true reason why he was so intent on helping him – particularly given that they had been at such odds with each other for all these years – when a powerful spasm rushed through his body causing Hux to curl in on himself.

“Hux!” This time Ren reached out and touched Hux’s arm, steadying him with his hand.

Hux let out a loud cry as another coursed through him, a spittle of salvia spluttering from his mouth. These convulsions were far more painful and intense that any of the previous ones he had experienced thus far; a true indication that his body really had reached the end of the line with how much more it could handle.

“Hang on!” cried Ren, not bothering to ask Hux if he was alright, it more than obvious that wasn’t the case.

“Ren, it hurts,” Hux whimpered, his eyes watering, making it difficult to see. He had no idea if it was the result of the physical pain he was enduring or his overwhelmed emotional state, or both.

Lifting his hand from Hux’s arm, Ren reached up and touched his face, cupping his cheek. “Hux, please, let me help you,” Ren practically begged, “I’m not going to force you, but I just can’t sit here and do nothing while you’re suffering here next to me like this. Not when I know that there’s something that I can do to ease your pain. And before you suggest it, no, I’m not going to leave you either.”

Ren sounded so desperate. And although his vision was obscured due to the tears in his eyes, Hux could tell that Ren looked just as distressed as he sounded.

“I know that you’ve never been knotted before and it’s frightening but I promise that I’ll be–”

“Al-Alright,” Hux interrupted, finally relenting. Ren could have used his ‘alpha’ voice and commanded Hux to allow him to do so; could have condescendingly claimed that he was going to knot Hux for his own good, whether he wanted it or not. But he hadn’t. Instead the alpha was _pleading_ with him, treating Hux as a person with his own agency in the matter.

Ren appeared momentarily surprised. “You’re okay with it? You want me to –”

“Yes, please knot me, Ren.” Hux groaned. “I doubt I’ll last much longer.”

“Good,” said Ren, relieved, before quickly correcting himself, “I mean, not about that, of course, just that you’ve decided to –”

“Re-Ren,” Hux moaned.

It was true that he didn’t want to die. He just hoped that his decision to finally go through with this hadn’t come too late.

“Sorry! Hold on a second.” Ren dropped his hand from Hux’s cheek and proceeded to help ease Hux back down onto the mattress. After that, the alpha swiftly arranged the pillows to make him more comfortable. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care you, okay?” stated Ren as he leant back over Hux. Lightly he stroked his face, helping to wipe away some of the stray tears that had fallen. Hux quickly blinked the rest in eyes away, allowing him to get a clearer look at Ren. Stars, Ren really was gorgeous.

“I promise that you’ll get through this.”

Hux tilted his head slightly, not sure if it was enough to quite register as a nod.

“If you try not to concentrate on the fact that I’ll be knotting you for the first time, it might make it…well, it might make the process a little easier for you to get through. I mean if you think about it as just as you would regular sex and try and forget that you’re in heat,” suggested Ren, carefully trying to choose his words.

“I…I’m afraid I won’t be able to think of it that way,” Hux replied, regretfully. Yes, it would be impossible for him to do that.

“I know that it might be difficult to do with everything feeling so much more intense when you’re in heat but it might not feel too different.”

Hux’s fingers twitched. “I wouldn’t know.”

“Oh. Is it because you never been with another man before?” questioned Ren, misunderstanding, “I suppose if you haven’t then it would be different in a lot of ways, but if –”

“It’s not only that,” Hux interrupted, his eyes downcast.

“Is it…Is it because you have a preference for women?” asked Ren, suddenly appearing dejected, “You don’t like men?”

“Ren, I –”

“Is that why you’ve been so worried? It is it because you think that it will –”

“It’s because I’ve never slept with anyone before!” Hux blurted out before Ren got the chance to ask him another question or went on to make any further assumptions as to what was causing his hesitation.

Apparently, he succeeded as Ren immediately went silent upon hearing Hux’s admission. Despite having decided that there was no longer any point in trying to hide or deny anything anymore, Hux quickly found himself regretting confessing to such a thing. After all, it was strange enough as it was for an omega to never have slept with anyone during one of their heats, but the fact that Hux was almost thirty-five and still a virgin was something else entirely. While Hux believed he should be used to the emotion by this point, it didn’t lessen the shame he felt in the slightest.

Unexpectedly, Ren didn’t look surprised by the revelation as if there was now no longer anything Hux could possibly say that could shock him. In truth, Ren didn’t have much of a reaction to it at all which Hux found somewhat worrying.

Then after what felt like a lifetime, Ren finally spoke. “So, this won’t only be your first time being with someone during your heat, but your first-time having sex, ever?”

For a moment, Hux had to remind himself that Ren deserved to know the truth.

“Yes, I…I was afraid that if I ever slept with someone, even if they weren’t an alpha, that it might somehow trigger a heat or a close approximation of one. I know that’s not how it really works, that you can’t go into heat while taking suppressants, that’s the whole point of them after all, but I’d never had any break in between taking them as is advised, so I always worried that the…well, that the stimulation from the act would trigger something in my body. Even if it didn’t trigger me going into heat, I still feared that whoever I was with might somehow figure out the truth about me being an omega.” Hux knew that he was rambling slightly but he felt a deep-seated need to try and justify his reasonings to Ren as to why he had failed at engaging in such a basic human act, even if he had been the one who had chosen to refrain from it.

“I’ve had propositions of course. That is, people who were interested in being with me,” Hux continued, fearing that if he didn’t clarify, Ren might get it in his head that it was because none of the people around him found him attractive enough to want, as if that knowledge would suddenly make the alpha have second thoughts about having sex with him.

“I never did take any of them up on their offers. I didn’t ever think it worth the risk.”

It was true. There had been a number of his fellow officers who had demonstrated at least some mild attraction to him in the past, but the moment they made their thoughts of wanting to be with him in some intimate capacity clear, whether it was romantic or purely sexual, Hux quickly but politely brushed them off, maintaining his distance from them without it being too obvious that he was actively doing so. For those who were more forthcoming with their interest in him and approached Hux directly, he would either lie and say that there was someone else, or tell them that at that point in time he was focusing solely on his career, something which conveniently happened to be true. The lie he told however, helped to dispel suspicion about his continuous unattached state, making people instead think that he was in a relationship already or at least had his eye on somebody else. Moreover, he would occasionally imply that he was interested only in the opposite sex of whoever it was that approached him, hoping that if they were to tell others, it would put off anyone else of the same sex from doing the same, at least buying him a small amount of time.

Thankfully, given that as far as everyone else was concerned he was a beta, it was mostly other betas who approached him, the majority of alphas in search of an unsuspecting omega to inflict themselves upon who they would then hope to bond and mate with. As betas could not be bonded with in the same way – and how he envied them for it – Hux mostly went unnoticed. The only time an alpha had shown any real outward interest in him, Hux being a newly graduated officer at that time, he had immediately panicked. From what Hux recalled, the alpha had been both horrendously smug and condescending with absolutely nothing to back up his confidence. Within a minute of being in his presence, Hux’s fear disappeared, replaced instead by overwhelming resentment. As such, Hux had no issue in brutally shooting the alpha down at he attempted to flirt with him, making it clear that he didn’t date alphas, and that if he did, he certainly wouldn’t be with one as contemptable as him. Needless to say, the alpha in question had been furious but as he had chosen a marginally crowded mess hall to openly flirt – or rather boorishly boast about himself as was more apt a description for it – he couldn’t physically lash out at him. As for a verbal lashing however, Hux far outmatched him when it came to wit, and so perhaps as a way to take out his own frustrations in having to deal with alphas in general, Hux made sure the officer left his presence utterly humiliated.

While it had been immensely gratifying tearing the alpha down, it had the unfortunate effect of attracting the attention of a few new admirers; very much the opposite of what Hux had wanted. At the very least they had all been betas. And unless, they personally offended him, Hux made sure to be civil to them.

In general, any attention he received had been harder to deal with when he was younger, particularly if he had to work with the officer who he was receiving the attention from on a regular basis. It was harder still if the person showing the interest was of a higher rank than him. While it went completely against First Order regulations for an officer to try and proposition one of their subordinates, sadly that didn’t mean that it didn’t actually happen. The situation was further complicated in that if a low ranked officer with ambition wanted to get ahead in the Order, they certainly didn’t want to do anything to anger their superiors. If they did, it was likely that they would be assigned either the most tedious and lowly of tasks with little chance for upward mobility or sent somewhere potentially dangerous such as an outpost in hostile territory. Aware of this, many gave into such advances, feeling that they had little other choice if they didn’t want to see their careers disintegrate before they even got started.

Fortunately, being the son of Brendol Hux, it wasn’t something he had to worry about too much, his superiors being either acquaintances of his father, or simply not wishing to get on the man’s bad side. As such, Hux was able to politely reject them without repercussion. However, once he had been given command of the Finalizer, aware that others weren’t quite as fortunate as he had been, Hux made it his priority to stop such things from happening aboard his ship, with swift punishments being doled out for those who abused their positions if they were found out. Needless to say, many were angered by this, in particular, the older Imperial officers who believed it was their right to seduce and force themselves upon whoever they pleased. Hux care very little of what thought of course. In fact, their outrage gave him a vindictive sense of pleasure.

As Hux ascended the ranks, people approaching him was no longer quite as much of an issue. He had been markedly young when he had reached the higher ranks, and the higher the rank he ascended, the more likely it was that officers of the same position as he were already married, leaving him with little to worry about there. Additionally, given that the power dynamics didn’t tilt in their favour, rarely would a subordinate proposition a superior officer if their superior hadn’t made their interest towards them explicitly clear, the resulting potential career fallout not worth it if they had misunderstood.

Frankly, Hux would have been offended if one of his officers thought it appropriate to approach him in such a manner. He wanted them to look up to and admire him, not lust after him. Of course, in saying that, the thought of anyone lusting after him, subordinate or not, had always made him horribly uncomfortable. That was, at least until now; until Ren.

“So, to answer your question, yes, you’ll be the first person that I’ve ever been with in…well, in this manner,” Hux finished nervously. How he had even managed to get the words out at all given the state he was in, was somewhat amazing. While he was in pain, at the same time there was a desperate yearning inside of him, Hux suspecting that it was his inner omega frantic with the need to be taken. However, with Ren yet to reply, he was to discover that the ensuing silence along with his never-ending conflicting emotions he was facing, was far more painful to endure than what his body continued throwing at him.

“R-Ren?” he croaked out, daring a glance over at him. Had Ren not realised that he had finished speaking? Or perhaps he expected him to say something more; his explanation inadequate.

Ren was staring down at the bed. He was breathing heavily and he appeared to be gripping onto the bedsheets. Unfortunately, due to Ren’s hair obscuring his face and with his vision still slightly blurry, Hux couldn’t quite make out the alpha’s expression. 

Hux’s heart sunk as he realised the implications of what he had just said. He should never have admitted to such a thing. Of course, Ren wouldn’t want to be with someone who remained untouched at his age, not to mention someone who also happened to be older than him. Ren had been the one who had lived a decent part of his life in a celibate cult and yet here he was the one with zero sexual experience. And while Hux more than had his reasons, perhaps Ren didn’t see it that way.

Hux felt the tears start to well up in his eyes again. He had put far too much on Ren’s shoulders. It wasn’t fair. Perhaps now Ren would finally do what Hux had been urging him to and leave.

“I-I understand if you don’t-”

Hux never got the opportunity to finish the sentence however as a moment later Ren’s mouth was upon his as he felt Ren grab a hold of his face with both his hands.

Hux let out a startled moan, a moan which instantly morphed into one of pleasure as he felt himself melt into Ren’s kiss, the alpha deepening it as if he was intending on devouring him.

He didn’t get to enjoy it for long however as Ren abruptly pulled back from him.

“Sorry!” cried Ren, “I-I didn’t mean to do that!”

Ren was still breathing heavily, and now that Hux could get a better look at his face, he saw that much like his own, it was very red, although whether from embarrassment or exertion, he wasn’t sure.

“I mean I wanted to but shouldn’t have done it without saying anything that is. I’m sorry,” Ren explained awkwardly as he ran a hand through his hair. Hux found that he very much wanted to do the same to it. “Kriff, it’s just…hearing you say all that; that you’ve never been with an alpha or _anyone_ before, telling me that I’m going to be you’re first, kriff, it’s…”

“You’re not put off by it?” Hux asked tentatively, needing to be sure, “That is, by my lack of experience?” _That’s a mild way of putting it_ , Hux groaned internally.

“Stars, of course not! There’s no way I could be,” said Ren, swiftly shaking his head, before almost shyly adding, “It’s uh…it’s actually really hot.”

“It is?” asked Hux, surprised but more importantly, immensely relieved.

“It is.”

Ren smiled and Hux’s relief deepened. “Good.”

“You were worried?”

“A little,” admitted Hux, “It’s just, while I know that there are alphas out there who prefer that the omegas they’re about to take are, well, _pure_ , but me being a…” Hux hesitated, too ashamed to say the word, ‘virgin’ out loud, “Having not been with anyone at my age, it’s not a very common thing. Many would find it –”

“Hey, that doesn’t matter to me,” Ren reassured, “And if you had been with someone else, that wouldn’t have bothered me either. I mean, I originally assumed you would have been with someone by now. Uh, not that there is anything wrong with you still being, uh –”

“Pure?” Hux supplied wryly. He wasn’t entirely sure but for a moment he thought Ren’s eyes glazed over slightly.

“Anyway, I know that it’s strange,” Hux continued, “But I was concerned that -”

Hux stopped mid-sentence as Ren reached over and cupped his cheek in his palm, Hux instinctively leaning into it. “It’s okay, you don’t need to justify it anymore. I understand.” Hux felt a warmth envelop him both at Ren’s words and touch. It was a different kind of warmth from what his heat was causing and he found he liked it very much.

“I realise now why you’ve been so afraid about all this. All of this is entirely new to you. I’m sorry, I should have taken things more slowly,” said Ren, sounding deeply apologetic, “I made assumptions and –”

Hux shook his head lightly in disagreement. However, with his face gently pressed against Ren’s palm it was almost like he was trying to nuzzle further into it. “No, I’m the one at fault here. I shouldn’t have kept all of this from you. I just didn’t think that it would come up at all.” Yes, when he had been weighing up the decision to go to Ren for help, if he had thought for a second that any of this would be brought to the surface, he would never have sought Ren out. “If I had only been more forthcoming about certain things then none of –”

Hux was interrupted by Ren kissing him once more. This time the kiss was soft and chaste, however just like the other ones, it was sadly over far too quickly. Nevertheless, Hux was pleased that the kiss Ren had given him when they first entered his bedroom hadn’t simply been a one-off thing; that he had gotten the chance to experience it again.

“It’s okay,” stated Ren as he pulled back to look at him, “The both of us probably could have handled things better, so let’s just put it behind us, alright?”

Hux doubted that such a thing would be easy for him, but he nodded nonetheless, liking the way it felt as his cheek brushed lightly against Ren’s palm. “Yes, that sounds –” He never got the chance to finish as a sudden jolt of pain surged through his body, reminding Hux that he was technically in the middle of what could easily be categorised as a medical emergency. The time for words and reflection really was over for now it seemed.

Hux gritted his teeth as he tried to bare the pain. “Ren, I –” He began to say, but it was unneeded as Ren was already moving swiftly into action. He guided Hux back down onto the mattress, all the while uttering assurances that he would take care of him; that he would be alright.

To Hux’s surprise, he found that he trusted Ren completely. It was something he never thought possible, not with Ren, nor with anyone else for that matter. But there was no time to dwell on the implications of it.

“I’m going to open you up a bit first, okay?” Ren had explained as he shuffled down the bed. He had gotten Hux to spread his legs apart and elevate his hips the best he could.

Hux had nodded weakly in response, doing just as Ren had asked of him. Sadly, while he trusted Ren, it didn’t help to alleviate his anxiety, still unbearably nervous about it all.

“There’s so much slick already that you should be fine without any lube,” Ren told him, his hand resting comfortably on Hux’s thigh. Given how preoccupied by fear he had been, Hux had managed to almost completely forget about the slick oozing out of his bottom and how repulsive it made him feel. Nevertheless, he discovered that when reminded of it, he wasn’t quite as disgusted by it as before. “But if it’d make you feel better, I can go look for –”

“No!” cried Hux, the thought of Ren leaving him, even for the briefest of seconds, filling him with inexplicable panic. As such, it was hard to believe that just ten minutes prior he had been trying to convince Ren to go and leave him to his fate. Now, the very notion of Ren not being here with him was unthinkable. “It…It’s okay. I trust you,” Hux tried saying more calmly, “I mean, about not needing any more lubrication, that is.”

“Alright, but let me know if you change your mind,” Ren replied, softly. Hux thought that Ren looked relieved. Whether it was because he didn’t have to leave and go in a search for some source of lubrication or if it was because Hux had implied that he trusted his judgement, he was unsure. Nonetheless, despite it not making that much of a difference for the situation, Hux hoped that it was the latter.

“I’m only going to insert one finger for now so it shouldn’t hurt but try and stay still,” instructed Ren, “But most importantly, try and relax, okay?”

Hux gave a small noise of confirmation. He doubted that Ren had ever had to explain the process of what he was about to do with anyone else in this kind of scenario, and again Hux couldn’t help but feel guilty for ruining the ‘sexy’ atmosphere which one would usually associate during the build-up to sex. Nonetheless, while there was a part of Hux that felt he should apologise, he feared that would only highlight the unnaturalness of everything all the more. As such, he chose to remain silent. In the meantime, he would continue to quietly appreciate Ren’s ongoing patience with him. 

Ren gave his thigh a small reassuring squeeze before putting his finger inside. Hux gasped, immediately clenching up on instinct. While it didn’t hurt – much to his relief – it certainly wasn’t a sensation he was familiar with. Not that he was accustomed to any of this by any means.

“Are you alright?” Ren asked, raising his head to look over at him.

“Y-Yes, I’m fine,” Hux replied back as he tried to keep his voice level.

“There’s a lot of slick which is good but try to avoid clenching around my finger if you can,” instructed Ren.

Perhaps, because it wasn’t painful, Hux found that he was able to relax somewhat, unclenching ever so slightly. He startled however as he felt the finger inside him curl and wriggle causing him to let out another small gasp.

“How does that feel?” asked Ren as the finger continued coiling inside of him.

“It…It feels strange,” Hux answered honestly, not sure how best to describe it.

“Yeah, I can imagine it does when you’re not used it.”

“It doesn’t feel bad, though.” Hux felt the need to highlight. It also happened to be true. He couldn’t say that he was particularly fond of the unappealing squelching sound that resulted from Ren moving his finger inside him, however. Ren, at least, seemed unbothered by it.

“I’m glad. It’ll help to open you up and prepare you so you can take me.” Hux wanted to point out that he knew that already, that he wasn’t _completely_ oblivious to how sex worked even if he had never actually experienced it for himself before. But he didn’t wish to come across as petulant or ungrateful and so kept his mouth shut.

After a minute or so Ren announced that he was going to add a second finger. Hux tensed before forcing himself to relax. However, while the first finger had slid inside easily enough, Hux could feel the second one brush against his inner walls as Ren inserted it. He winced as it joined Ren’s other finger. He supposed that given how thick Ren’s fingers were, it was only to be expected that there would be some discomfort.

“Kriff, so tight.” He heard Ren mumble quietly to himself, leading Hux to believe that it was combination of both Ren’s large fingers and it being his first time.

In any case, it hurt, but only slightly, and when asked by Ren if he was alright, Hux confirmed, albeit through slightly laboured breaths, that he was. 

Ren gave him a bit longer before he proceeding to move his fingers again and Hux let out a particularly loud moan when Ren separated his fingers and began spreading them apart inside of him.

“Sorry,” said Ren, “This is the best way to –”

Hux wasn’t able to process Ren’s words however, both his mind and body trying to figure out if he was enjoying the sensation or not. If his fully erect cock was anything to go by then the answer was yes, however, because of his unfamiliarity with heats in general, he wasn’t sure if it was merely a side-effect of the heat itself, and if he would find himself hard regardless if he actually found it pleasurable.

As Ren continued scissoring his fingers apart, Hux gripped at the bedsheets on either side of him. He was surprised that there was even any room inside him to do so, but somehow Ren was able to keep doing it. 

“I’m going to add a third finger now,” Ren declared, alarming Hux. 

“Won’t two fingers be enough?” asked Hux nervously as he reflected again on how thick Ren’s fingers were; much more so than his own slender ones.

“It’s your first time and I’m, uh, pretty big,” stated Ren, sounding somewhat embarrassed by the admission even though it was very much the truth.

Ren’s dick, just like everything else about him was unnecessarily large, intimidatingly so. And yet while the image Hux’s mind conjured of it with him unable to get a clear view of Ren’s member from his current position filled him with dread, he also felt an intense longing for it; like a hunger almost. It wasn’t like anything he had ever experienced before. Given that it was the key to his survival – and stars, who would have ever thought that it would be Ren’s cock of all things that would help save his life – he supposed it made sense. While his mind still had its reservations, his body did not. It knew what it needed and that was Ren’s knot.

“The last thing I want to do is hurt you,” Ren continued.

“Alright then,” replied Hux, appreciative of Ren’s concern, “You know what’s best.” And who would have thought he would ever be saying those words either.

Ren, thankfully, didn’t appear to pick up on the embarrassing significance of the comment.

“Just give me a second.” At that, Ren withdrew his fingers and Hux’s mouth opened in a silent gasp, finding himself alarmed at the sensation of their sudden removal.

Taking a deep breath, he watched as Ren bent down and dabbed his fingers against the bedsheets. Hux was momentarily confused by the action until he realised that Ren was smearing his fingers with more slick. After that, Ren proceeded to run his fingers along his entrance, collecting some more. Hux squirmed slightly, letting out a small whine as Ren’s fingers brushed against it, it feeling fairly ticklish. He blamed his heat entirely. There’s no way he would be so sensitive normally. Meanwhile, he was quite sure he heard Ren chuckle at his reaction.

“This might feel a little much at first,” said Ren somewhat apologetically as he sat up, gazing over at Hux.

“I’ll be fine,” replied Hux. He could manage, he was sure of it. After all, if he couldn’t handle Ren’s fingers then there was no way he would be able to take his cock.

Ren nodded. “Alright then.”

Hux grimaced as Ren started to push his fingers inside of him. Even though Ren had from what Hux could tell, coated his fingers with a decent amount of slick, the strain was felt much more markedly now than when it had only been two fingers. And by the time Ren had got them in completely, Hux was trembling. He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to adjust to them being inside him.

“You doing okay?” Ren asked as gently as he could, his own breathing heavy, reminding Hux that much like his own, Ren’s body was also under pressure as a result of him being in heat.

“I…I think so,” Hux replied, trying his best not to clench down too hard around them.

“Well, you’re doing great,” Ren told him encouragingly, lightly caressing Hux’s thigh with his other hand. Hux wasn’t quite sure about that. Nevertheless, Ren’s words helped to reassure him.

Gradually, Ren began pulling his fingers back. Having just gotten used to them, Hux couldn’t help but let out a tiny hiss, something which quickly elicited a small apology from Ren.

“I’m alright,” Hux replied as he took a deep breath.

He gripped the sheets, as Ren slowly dove them back in, his fingers stretching Hux in a way that didn’t feel at all natural and yet wasn’t entirely unpleasant.

He was panting even heavier than before, supplemented with the occasional whimper as Ren moved his fingers back and forth. And although he wasn’t completely comfortable with the sensation, Hux knew that his body needed more than was it was currently receiving.

“Ren, I need…” He trailed off, knowing that there was no need to say anything further. Ren knew exactly what he was referring to.

“Okay then.” Given that he hadn’t asked him if he was sure, Ren must have thought that he was adequately prepared to finally attempt taking him. Hux just hoped that Ren was right.

There was a loud squelching noise as Ren removed his fingers, Hux’s body having continued to produce copious amounts of slick, possibly even more than before. Hux didn’t know how it was even possible that so much had come from him, but one thing for certain was that both the bedsheets and mattress would need to be incinerated once this was over with.

Hux exhaled deeply as he lowered his hips back down onto the mattress, appreciating the relief of no longer having to keep them raised them. He was utterly exhausted and yet at the same time, felt like someone had injected a shot of adrenaline straight into his heart. He wasn’t completely unfamiliar with the phenomenon, used to having to rely on large doses of stims when horrendously sleep deprived to get him through his long shifts. This admittedly, was far more intense than that.

The part of Hux that was bone tired just wanted to curl up into himself and fall asleep. And conveniently, he was already in bed. However, in spite of the numerous things that would prevent him from doing just that, Ren being there about to have his way with him any moment now being the primary reason, Hux knew there was no chance that he would actually be able to fall asleep if he attempted to. It would be impossible. He was exhausted but he doubted that even injecting himself with every sedative on the ship would do the trick in knocking him out. And while in ways it may be easier for him, he didn’t want to be unconscious with what was about to occur.

Managing to muster up some energy, Hux lifted his head up from the pillow to look over to Ren. The alpha had an intense yet focused look on his face as he held his dick in his hand rubbing generous amounts of slick on it. Hux found himself embarrassed yet again, aware that what Ren was using for lubrication had come from him. While he wondered if he should have taken Ren up on his offer to go in search of some other form of lubrication, Hux was struck again with panic at the thought of Ren leaving his side. Apparently, the need to have Ren there with him was more important that what little remained of his existing pride.

As he continued to watch Ren, Hux was struck by how huge Ren’s cock still appeared in comparison to his hands. And now knowing how long and thick the fingers attached to it were first-hand, it unnerved him quite a bit.

Ren must have noticed the concerned look on his face as he stopped what he was doing, turning his attention to Hux.

“Hey, are you okay?” asked Ren, letting go of his cock as he edged up the bed towards him. From what Hux could tell, Ren was completely hard, and seeing his cock up close again, it was very much made clear to Hux that his mind hadn’t exaggerated its size in the slightest. If anything, it was even bigger in reality. Other more experienced omegas would likely have been delighted when they saw Ren’s dick, eager to both have it inside of them and the prospect of exquisite pleasure.

“Sorry, I guess I should stop asking you that,” said Ren apologetically as he moved next to Hux, leaning against the pillows, “I know that you’re having a –”

“No. I’m okay,” Hux interjected. It was a lie but he felt the need to reassure Ren just as the alpha was continuing to try and reassure him.

Ren, however, didn’t quite look like he believed him but didn’t comment on it any further. Instead he reached over and gently caressed Hux’s cheek with his thumb. “You’re doing so well by the way. You’re pretty tight but you’re still…” Ren trailed off for a moment. “Anyway, omegas tend to get looser during their heats, so I’m sure you should be able to take me alright.”

It was the ‘should’ part of the sentence that concerned Hux and again it must have shown on his face.

“I can’t promise that it won’t hurt a bit, especially in the beginning, but I swear that I’ll try and be as gentle as possible,” stated Ren, and as he said those words, Hux realised just how much Ren must be straining himself, holding back like this. So many other alphas faced with a naked omega in heat would have completely lost control of themselves and gone into a rut, the only things of concern to them being receiving instant gratification, with anything getting in the way of it, including the omega they were knotting, blotted out from awareness. So far, that had yet to happen with Ren, and from now on Hux didn’t think he’d be able to accuse the knight of lacking restraint and self-control ever again. At least until he destroyed another part of the ship that was.

Hux repressed a small smile at that. “Don’t worry. I’m sure my body can take it.” Yes, there were people who did this all the time and their bodies didn’t produce any slick. If he hadn’t been born an omega, with no need to hold back, there was a chance that he would have taken part in such acts as well.

“I’ll try my best to make it feel good for you as well,” said Ren, “I want you to enjoy yourself.”

Hux just wanted to get through this, the notion that he might genuinely find pleasure in it having not properly occurred to him. But the sentiment was appreciated at least.

Ren stroked his cheek one final time before shuffling backwards again and continuing to smear Hux’s slick along the shaft of his cock.

“How would you like to do this?” asked Ren, momentarily confusing Hux before he went on to elaborate, “I mean would you rather be on your front or are you alright being on your back? I’m fine with whatever positions most comfortable for you.”

It appeared that Ren was giving him the option to decide. Before they had gotten into bed together, Hux had automatically assumed that he would be on his knees with Ren taking him from behind. He had originally thought that not having to see Ren’s face would make it easier for him and that Ren in turn would want to do it that way as well so he could pretend that Hux was someone else and not his disdained co-commander. But he now knew that for Ren, this wasn’t the case, that Ren didn’t want to pretend that he was just some anonymous omega. As for Hux himself, well…

“I…I believe I’ll be fine as I am.”

“You sure?” asked Ren.

“I am,” Hux replied truthfully. Rather than avoiding having to see the alpha who was knotting him, Hux now felt that being able to look upon Ren’s face throughout it, that he might be able to find some modicum of comfort in what for him was an incredibly uncomfortable situation.

Ren, in turn, looked relieved at his answer, grateful almost. “Alright then,” he said, before adding, “I was hoping you’d want to do it that way. I want to be able to look at you during. It would be such a waste now to be able.”

Hux gave a small smile, feeling reassured and recalling how earlier Ren had told him that he looked amazed, something which he didn’t believe personally in the slightest and yet still pleased him.

With the position decided upon, Ren placed his large hands on Hux’s hips and gently dragged him down the bed ever so slightly before telling Hux to lift his hips once more. Hux did as he was instructed, and shuffling closer to him, Ren took a hold of his own cock again; completely hard and still as huge as ever. He positioned it at Hux’s entrance, inserting it the tiniest amount.

Hux gasped at the contact, not so much from pain but rather from the knowledge that Ren would soon be inside him. And while Ren’s fingers technically already had been, this was what everything so far had been leading up to.

_You can do this_ , Hux mentally told himself. _You’re one of the Order’s highest-ranking General’s. If you put your mind to it, you can get through anything._

He already had been through a lot, and with new determined resolve, he intended to make it out of this as well.

As Ren leant forward and edged into him again, Hux took a breath as he began to feel the strain of it.

“There. That’s the head in,” Ren announced, much to Hux’s alarm. That was only the tip of the thing?! Hux tensed immediately which was a mistake of course as it only resulted in additional pressure, both for him and apparently for Ren as well given the unexpected and loud groan the alpha let out.

“Kriff!” hissed Ren.

“Ren! Are you alright?” cried Hux, it finally his turn to bid Ren the question that Ren had been asking him all day.

“I’m fine. But you really need to try and to loosen up some more,” huffed Ren, “Otherwise I won’t be able to fit any further.”

_So much for omegas being looser during their heats_ , Hux thought cynically before chiding himself. It was hardly Ren’s fault that he happened to be so big in that particular area – and everywhere else to be fair – nor could be blamed for Hux’s tightness with it being his first-time.

“Sorry,” Hux apologised, although his apology was more to do with himself getting silently and unfairly annoyed at Ren, “I’ll try to relax.”

“It’s okay, we’ll…we’ll take it slow,” replied Ren, considerately, “There’s no rush.” Except, unfortunately there was. They were on at strict timescale and while Hux usually worked well under pressure, in some instances even thriving on it, on this occasion, being as calm as he possibly could be was key here.

Hux couldn’t help but wonder that if things hadn’t been so time sensitive, if Ren would have allowed things to progress more slowly, gradually building up to Hux taking him in full over a series of liaisons. Hux quickly banished the thought however. If it wasn’t for the very specific situation he found himself in then Ren wouldn’t even be here with him right now. As such, it didn’t bear much thinking about. And so, taking a deep breath, Hux tried instead to focus on relaxing and allowing his body to unwind.

Fortunately, he appeared to be successful in his endeavour, as after a minute or so he felt Ren inch into him further.

“Great. Just like that,” Ren told him encouragingly. And even if he hadn’t exactly done much, the praise Hux received from the alpha pleased him.

“Hold on a sec,” said Ren. Hux wasn’t sure exactly what he was supposed to hold on for, but a moment later, he felt one of the man’s large hands reach down underneath him and proceed to cup his ass cheek. It caused Hux to startle a bit. Ren’s other hand meanwhile remained firmly planted on the mattress, continuing to support his weight.

Hux let out a small yelp of surprise when Ren started to lift his ass up. After that, Ren’s hand slid down to his lower back, coming to rest there, elevating Hux ass and hips ever so slightly. With how sweaty and sticky he was, Hux was honestly surprised that Ren was able to get any decent purchase on his body at all.

“Sorry, this is a better angle and it’ll give me a bit more ability to manoeuvre,” explained Ren as he gazed over at Hux, “Plus, I know you’re exhausted so it’ll help take some of the burden off you as well.”

It was true. While Ren wasn’t completely holding his weight, the minor strain in having to lift himself had been somewhat lessened. Hux also had to say that Ren’s hand which now rested on the small of his back and to which the alpha had given a light squeeze also felt rather pleasant.

Hux felt guilty about Ren having to do all the work but as Ren had pointed out he was exhausted, and breathing and trying to stay coherent enough to be aware of what was going on were already incredibly energy consuming as it was. As such, Hux really didn’t have the stamina for much else.

Unfortunately, he didn’t get the chance to thank Ren for his further show of consideration when it came to making sure that he was comfortable as Ren suddenly pulled back before gradually pushing forward again, trying to get deeper inside. Hux could feel Ren’s fingers digging lightly into his back as he did this. Fortunately, it wasn’t enough to hurt. At least not yet.

Hux, meanwhile, focused on his breathing and avoiding clenching down. Ren was doing all the work so the least he could do was try and make it a little easier for him.

“I’m about half way in now,” Ren eventually declared, although Hux couldn’t say for certain how much time had actually passed since Ren had begun.

Hux wasn’t quite sure if he was relieved or not about Ren’s announcement. Progress had been made – which Hux was at least aware was an awkward way of observing it – but for Ren’s knot to pop and take, he would need to be fully inside of Hux for it to happen, and they were still only halfway there.

Hux already felt ridiculously full as it was. The fact that there was even more of Ren to take was almost inconceivable. And yet, Hux couldn’t deny that there was a part of himself that was actually excited by the prospect of it; of Ren filling him further, not only with his cock but also his seed.

In any other circumstance, Hux would have been absolutely mortified by the lewd and perverted nature his thoughts had taken and of his depraved desire to be taken and be filled with an alpha’s seed.

No, that wasn’t right. He only wanted to be filled with _Ren’s seed_. No one else other than Ren was acceptable.

He knew that notions such as these were simply the result of the omega part of him assuming control. It had taken almost complete hold over his body and now it was aiming to do the exact same thing with his head, overriding his usual logical and composed mind into one that was consumed with lust and a desperation to be knotted. It was shameful and yet, even if there was a way that he could fight back against his inner omega and resist, Hux made the decision not to. Instead, he would give himself over willingly. With Ren inside, there was already no turning back, but more than just that, he had complete faith that Ren would look after him. And he needed him; he needed the alpha so very badly.

Whether it was conscious on his part or not, Hux found himself at the very cusp of finally letting himself go.

“Ren,” Hux whined as he felt a tremor run the entire length of his body.

“You’ve been doing so well,” praised Ren, glancing over at him, “But I’m going to have to start properly moving now, okay?” For the briefest of moments, Hux thought that Ren meant he was moving to leave and was about to protest before realising what Ren was actually referring to. 

“Yes! Please, Ren. Please do,” said Hux in an uncharacteristically eager tone, yearning desperately for Ren to continue.

Apparently, his newfound enthusiasm struck something with Ren as he heard the alpha make a sound that resided somewhere between a hiss and a moan. “Kriff.”

“Uh, just… just give me a moment.”

Ren hastily yet carefully started to reposition himself, gently letting go of his hold on Hux’s lower back. Hux, meanwhile, spread his legs further apart to accommodate Ren’s rather bulky form as Ren climbed over him. Hux trembled as Ren’s hips brushed by his thighs before letting out a loud moan as Ren’s torso glazed lightly past his own hard cock.

Now looming slightly above him, Hux gazed up at Ren while the alpha stared down at him in turn, Ren’s breathing coming out in a series of quick breaths unlike his own longer and laboured ones. 

“Stars, Hux, you…you so look gorgeous,” Ren complimented, his eyes running along Hux’s body admiringly as if he couldn’t quite believe the sight that lay before him.

Ren was the gorgeous one in Hux’s opinion. He had a handsome face and Hux had never seen someone with a body quite like Ren’s before. Not that he was regularly exposed to people in a complete state of undress, at least not since his younger days when he had no choice but to share accommodations and get changed in front of his fellow cadets or officers. Still, Ren’s body was magnificent. Hux wanted to tell Ren as much but doubting that he would be able to properly get the words out, he chose to remain silent for the moment. Perhaps later when he was capable of being more articulate, he would tell him.

“You smell gorgeous as well,” Ren added a moment later as he lowered his head down to Hux’s chest, inhaling his scent, “So good.”

He thought that Ren’s voice was becoming progressively more and more hazy. Hux couldn’t be sure however if this was simply a case of himself becoming more unfocused, or if Ren was slowly succumbing deeper to his baser instincts in the same way that he had. Possibly it was both. In any case, for now at least, unlike him, Ren still possessed the capabilities to move and to speak in whole sentences.

At the mention of his scent, Hux realised that while earlier he had found Ren’s alpha pheromones to be absolutely stifling, making it difficult to stand let alone breathe, he had now, without being aware of it, become accustomed to Ren’s scent. He was still conscious of how it caused his surroundings to smell differently – although admittedly that was also likely due to his own omega pheromones that he was emitting for which he also had very little familiarity with thanks to his constant use of suppressants – but it was no longer uncomfortable or overwhelming. Of course, that didn’t make Ren’s scent any less intoxicating. And while he might not have been knowingly aware of it, it was no doubt among just one of the many things his body was responding to in regards to the alpha’s presence. He had worried briefly before if Ren was the reason why his body was reacting so crazily given his reaction when he had smelt him for the first time back in the training room, but now knowing better he wondered how much worse off he would be right if Ren wasn’t here.

Hux very much wanted to bury himself into Ren’s chest both for comfort and to take his scent all in just as he had done when Ren had held him in his arms earlier. Unfortunately, that wasn’t possible right now. Thankfully however, he had another desire of his that was soon to be fulfilled.

“R-Ren, I need…” Hux began, shuddering as he felt Ren’s breath lightly graze upon his skin. He would have once been disgusted by the thought of someone breathing on him, but now, and with his body feeling like it was on fire, Ren’s breath felt almost like a heavenly breeze.

“Alright then,” said Ren as he nuzzled his nose softly against Hux’s chest before pulling back. He gazed down at Hux, a fond smile on his face, “Sorry. I’ve suppose kept you waiting long enough, huh?”

Really the delay was Hux’s fault, Hux and his many insecurities and fears that he had shamefully allowed to consume him. He lacked the capacity to point such a thing out presently however, and so again, stayed quiet.

“It’ll probably hurt a little until you get used to it but I promise that I’ll try and be gentle as I can,” Ren assured him once more. Hux to his surprise, discovered that his fear had mostly receded, his need for Ren to knot him, overriding his past concerns; something which had seemed all but impossible only twenty minutes prior.

“I’ll be fine,” Hux managed to mumble out. 

Ren nodded, taking his word for it. “Okay.”

Ren proceeded to draw back a couple of inches causing Hux to wince as he felt the alpha’s cock being dragged back slightly from inside him. He then thrust forward with more force than he had used thus far. Despite knowing what was coming, it caught Hux somewhat off-guard. He only got a couple of moments to recover with Ren immediately drawing back and then pushing forward again.

Ren built up a steady momentum as he tried to edge further into Hux, Ren needing to be inside him deep enough for his knot to take. With the increased pace and additional friction, Hux let out a series of small whines, incapable of holding them in. He could hear Ren faintly apologising in the background, but preoccupied by what his body was undergoing, Hux found it difficult to focus much on Ren’s words.

With his eyes tightly closed, Hux struggled to even hold onto the bedsheets, his fingers scarcely even brushing against the palms of his hands as he feebly tried to curl them. He startled suddenly when he felt something touch and cover one of his hands. Opening his eyes, Hux saw and felt that Ren had placed one of his own atop of his, meanwhile using his other hand to continue supporting his heavy muscular body. Hux’s eyes slowly moved down to look, Ren’s hand covering his so effortlessly, just as the body above him so easily could as well. Hux longed for Ren to envelop him with it. Although with Ren being so much bulkier than he, he supposed that there was the concern that he would accidentally crush him in the process of doing so. Of course, right now that seemed like more than a reasonable sacrifice for Hux.

“You’re doing great,” Ren panted out as he continued thrusting, “So good, Hux. So good.”

Between hearing Ren’s words of praise and responding to his touch, Hux let out a pleasured moan.

“Kriff,” Ren huffed out as he increased his pace a little. “I’m almost in, just a little more.”

“You…You can do it harder if you want,” said Hux, his words coming out slightly slurred. It was very likely that Ren would want that.

“You sure?” And although there was concern in his voice, Hux thought he also detected just as much keenness as well. And so, Hux titled his head forward, it being the best he could in lieu of a proper nod. 

“Okay then.”

Ren removed his hand from Hux’s own, and used it to grab a hold of one of Hux’s thighs. He lifted it while ordering Hux to raise both his legs for him. Hux did so without protest, only lowering them when they came to rest atop of Ren’s massively broad shoulders.

“Comfortable?” Ren asked, giving his thigh a small squeeze.

Hux replied in the affirmative. He had always been surprisingly flexible. Not that he had ever had any real practical use for such an ability.

“Good,” said Ren as he moved his hand to clasp onto Hux’s hip. A moment later he thrust so intensely into him that for a few seconds Hux’s vision went white, almost as if he were seeing stars but with his eyes completely closed. His voice also appeared to vanish, rendering Hux capable only of releasing a stuttered gasp from his lips.

Hux wasn’t given a chance to recover however as Ren quickly shoved into him again, the hand on Hux’s hip gripping him tightly. After the fourth thrust, Hux finally managed out an actual moan. Ren was a lot for him to take, but it was exactly what he had asked of Ren, and slowly he found himself growing to enjoy it, the pleasure becoming interspersed just as much with the pain.

Gradually, Ren increased his pace and his breathing deepened, not that Hux could hear it well with the own noises he was currently making. He found that the more vocal he was, the harder Ren’s thrusts became, almost as if there was a direct link between the two things. It appeared that with the audible reassurance that the omega was enjoying himself, Ren no longer felt the need to hold back. At least not as much. In any case, it felt good. He had never experienced something like this before. It was amazing; incredible even. 

“You feel so kriffing good. Gonna make you cum so hard!” Ren declared passionately.

“Yes! Stars, yes!” Hux cried out in response, “Please, Ren!”

“I’m gonna knot you so well. Gonna take such good care of you.”

“Yes! Yes! Please!” Ren could have said anything in that moment and Hux knew that he would believe him completely. “I…I need you!”

“I need you too, Hux. Stars, I wanted this so much,” confessed Ren.

Just when Hux started to think that Ren couldn’t go any further in, that it wouldn’t be possible for him to experience anymore gratification than he had so far, Ren miraculously managed to hit a point inside of him that had Hux screaming out loud. This was swiftly followed by his subsequent release.

It was the first time another person had ever made him cum before, at least with them being physically present and actually touching him; not just from his own thoughts of them. And even then, it had been a long time since he had last indulged in such frivolous fantasies. In any case, the difference between the two was vast with Hux believing that if he had been in control of his usual mental facilities, that it wouldn’t be at all possible for him to articulate the experience. The closest he could get to describing the sensation would be, instead of seeing stars as he had done earlier when had Ren shoved into particularly vigorously, it was as if he himself had become the star. Ren had brushed against his core causing an explosion; an explosion that had occurred both inside and out. It truly felt as if he had come apart and he wasn’t sure when or if he would ever recover from it.

Hux gazed down slightly dazed at the release that now coated his stomach. He knew that he should be disgusted by it but he wasn’t. At least not for now. After a moment, Hux closed his eyes, letting his head loll back against the mattress, scarcely aware that Ren was now holding up his almost completely limp body as he continued to thrust in and out of him. Hux, acknowledged very briefly that he had come first; that Ren had yet to do so. Ren was saying something, repeating it over and over again, but for the life of him, Hux couldn’t make out what it was. It was almost like he was underwater with everything on the surface muffled making everything above him appear blurry and seem like it was faraway and not right there. Despite being born on Arkanis, Hux wasn’t a particularly strong swimmer, but if he were to drown, unable to reach the surface again, or more accurately, if Ren’s knot didn’t take, he was thankful that he at least got the chance to experience this before he died, a deed he had spent almost the past two decades deliberately distancing himself from. 

Hux wondered if he would get the chance to tell Ren how thankful he was for his help if he didn’t make; that he was grateful that he hadn’t abandoned him even when he had every reason to leave. If he didn’t, Hux hoped that somehow Ren would instinctively know.

Hux was suddenly startled out of his dazed and blissful state, both from Ren loudly calling out and from the sensation of something expanding inside him. Feeling himself become even fuller than before, it took Hux a moment to realise that Ren had finally came. It elicited another moan from him, only to be drowned out by another thunderous one, this time coming from Ren. His knot had taken and Ren was now locked inside of him, meaning that there would be no escape. They would be trapped together until Ren’s knot deflated, with Hux having no real idea of how long that would be. Partly this was due the fact that length of time varied and because his heat was far from normal making any accurate estimate difficult. He wasn’t concerned however. Neither about the length of time nor about being unable to get away. He had finally gotten what his body had wanted after all, what it needed. And Ren clearly had as well.

Ren almost collapsed on top of him, thankfully managing to catch himself on his elbows just in time. It was fortunate as in his current state especially, Hux doubted he would have been able to endure Ren’s weight. His legs which still rested upon his shoulders came down along with him. Hux didn’t have the energy to draw them back however. Ren appeared to have used up his own energy if the way he was breathing and the sweat dripping from him was any indication. It was slightly jarring, especially as it was such a different sight from when Hux had witnessed him in the aftermath of his workout earlier that cycle. Back then, he hadn’t even appeared winded let alone broken a sweat. Now, Ren was breathing heavily. Being so close, Hux could feel Ren’s breath on his chest. And although Ren’s head was tilted downwards, Hux having opened his eyes again, could see the sweat on him. The way it clung to his face, body and hair, instead of finding it off-putting, was strangely alluring to him. Admittedly, it was difficult for Hux to believe that anything Ren did would be repellent to him right now. Ren was the only thing preventing him from falling apart completely.

“Kriff…” he heard Ren mumble.

About to ask him if he was alright, the alpha finally raised his head, allowing Hux to properly see his face. He was smiling so vibrantly that Hux was taken aback. 

“That was…Stars, that was incredible.” And at those words, Hux realised just how much they filled him with relief, not sure how he would have been able to cope if Ren had told him he had been disappointed with the experience.

Hux smiled in return, very much agreeing with the sentiment. “It certainly was.”

“Really? It wasn’t…It wasn’t too much for you, was it?” Ren asked tentatively, still concerned with his wellbeing.

“It was...a lot,” Hux admitted and Ren’s face faltered slightly. “But I’m okay,” he quickly assured, “I enjoyed it. It was just intense.”

Ren nodded. “You did so so well.” replied Ren, encouragingly as he reached out gently and cupped his cheek. Hux found that hard to believe but he appreciated it nonetheless. “And it being intense is understandable given the circumstances. Not to mention the fact that it was both your first time and your first heat. Or well, _is_ your first heat,” Ren corrected as his eyes flittering downwards between them.

Hux blushed slightly as he remembered that Ren was still inside of him; that they were still locked together. It was one thing to acknowledge it in the throes of sex but in the aftermath, it was a bit embarrassing, even if minutes ago he had been unbothered by it. If anything, being in heat had revealed to Hux just how changeable both his thoughts and moods really were. While it wasn’t too great of concern at this particular moment, he looked forward to returning to some semblance of stability. But for now, he would just have to deal with it the best he could.

“Here, let’s get more comfortable,” suggested Ren as he removed his hand from Hux’s face and slipped an arm underneath Hux. Ren manoeuvred the both of them very carefully onto their sides, Hux pulling his legs off of Ren’s shoulders in the process. Despite Ren’s delicateness in the task, the movement caused Hux to let out a small whine.

“Sorry! Did that hurt?” asked Ren, worried.

Hux’s blush deepened. It hadn’t hurt. In fact, the movement had resulted in the exact opposite reaction. Ren had just happened to brush up once more against that particular spot which had previously sent him over the edge.

“Oh.” Ren grinned knowingly. With them being almost face-to-face and so close together, Hux could see the smirk on Ren’s face remarkably clear.

“Sh-Shut up,” Hux stuttered out, embarrassed. Nevertheless, he was relieved that he didn’t have to explain anything to Ren.

The alpha chuckled. “It’s fine, there’s no reason to be embarrassed. It’s only natural after all,” said Ren as he rubbed a hand up and down Hux’s back in a soothing manner, “You’ll be sensitive for a while yet. So will I for that matter.”

Hux nodded. He wondered how long such sensitivity would last for once his heat was finally over with. Surely not too long? He suspected that he still had a while before his heat ended anyway. In the very least, he had company to share the remainder of it with. Not that Ren could exactly leave right now, even if he wanted to.

Ren went onto acknowledge their continued ‘close proximity’, by telling Hux that he still felt amazing.

Hux, unsure of quite how to respond to that, simply buried his head between the crook of Ren’s neck, inadvertently taking in Ren’s comforting scent. For several minutes, Ren stroked his hair. After that, he clasped Hux’s cheek and tilted Hux’s head up, bringing their lips together. This time Hux was able to properly enjoy the kiss. He hadn’t been caught completely off guard by it, nor was the kiss rushed or overly chaste. For the lack of a better word, the kiss felt – as embarrassingly oversentimental as it was – perfect.

Hux panted lightly when their lips parted, “That was…”

He didn’t get the chance to finish, startling when he felt his cock suddenly brush up against Ren’s stomach. It was at that that Hux realised that he was hard, his cheeks instantly reddening at the knowledge.

“Oh.” Hux couldn’t believe that he was hard again already, especially after the intense orgasm he had just had. Ren appeared to have noticed as well as if the grin he broke into was any indication. Ren’s glee about it was the only thing stopping him from apologising even if it was as Ren had just explained, only natural that he was still sensitive.

“Hmm,” Ren hummed out, “Well, as I said, that’s only to be expected. Would you like me to take care of that for you, General?” Ren offered, his voice, sultry.

It was once again incredibly jarring to hear his rank said in a situation like this. In any case, Hux bit his lip, unsure, feeling that really, Ren had done enough for him already; that he didn’t have the right to either want or expect more from him. Nevertheless, at the same time, his body was starting to grow increasingly hot again. It was frustrating, especially when Ren’s knot was still inside him and his first knotting had yet to be finished.

Hux wondered how much more his body actually needed. While some omegas only required to be knotted the once, it wasn’t uncommon for others needing to be knotted multiple times during their heat cycle. It varied from omega to omega as well as cycle to cycle, however.

When reflecting back on everything that he had gone on throughout the past day, it was clear that it was best not to ignore such things. Or least not after almost two decades of neglecting such needs. Nevertheless, Hux didn’t want to overindulge, nor to take advantage of Ren’s odd and uncharacteristic bout of support and helpfulness; the latter of which he arguably already had done.

“I’ll take your silence as a yes,” chuckled Ren in the meantime while Hux continued to internally debate whether to take Ren up on his offer.

Reaching down between them, Ren took Hux’s cock in his hand, prompting a soft moan out of him.

“You…You really don’t need to,” Hux replied, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to return the favour, at least not until later on. And in truth, despite the contented state he was currently in, Hux wasn’t sure how comfortable he would be when it came offering the same to Ren. With practically zero sexual experience – at least until less than an hour ago – and little confidence in his skills, Hux felt anxious about being put in a situation in which he would be expected to take the initiative. 

“Hush now,” Ren ordered softly in response, gently nuzzling Hux’s cheek, “Let me take care of you. I want to make you feel good.”

Ren had made him feel good already but Hux found himself nodding regardless. Ren seemed adamant and really who was Hux to deny him? As for what came later, he doubted, or at the very least hoped, that Ren wouldn’t make him do anything that he was uncomfortable with. And if he did, well, Ren had been infinitely patient with him so far. Surely, the patience and understanding he had demonstrated so far wouldn’t suddenly just disappear.

“Alright then,” said Hux, his worry dissipating, “If you’re really sure.”

“I am,” replied Ren, serenely, “Now just relax.”

With his large hands, Ren’s fingers were able to enclose around his cock easily, their bodies pressed so close together. Hux let out several gasps as Ren caressed the tip of his cock, collecting the pre-cum that trickled out with his finger. It wasn’t long at all before Ren had him writhing, his body even more receptive than it had been before.

After stroking him to another orgasm, Hux found that he could keep his eyes opened no longer, utterly exhausted. The last thing he recalled before drifting off fast asleep in the alpha’s arms was Ren telling him that everything was going to be okay, that he had nothing to more about and that he would look after him. And feeling far more content and at peace than he had in a long time, Hux couldn’t help but believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we've reached the 70k mark and Hux has finally gone through his first heat! Apologises for taking so long to get to this point. I would blame it on Hux and Kylo and their many issues (although mainly Hux's tbf as the poor boy is a wreck) if I wasn't aware of my unfortunate tendency to drag things out. 😩
> 
> There's still a decent amount of this fic to go (I won't be making any estimates as to how much, however) so thank you very much to everyone who has read and commented so far and hopefully you'll stick around for some more. 🙂
> 
> Feel free to come poke me on [tumblr](https://yanyangire.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/yangiretrash).


	7. Chapter 7

Hux let out a groan, wincing in pain as he went to stretch his back a little as he usually did after first waking up. His body ached, he felt unusually chilly and he was absolutely parched, almost as if he had swallowed a bag full of sand before he had gone to sleep. They certainly weren’t the greatest of sensations to wake up to, so much so that he was half-tempted to pull the covers up over his head and go back to sleep, the cycle ahead of him be damned. Still, he supposed it wasn’t all that much worse than how he had been feeling these past couple of weeks. He would just have to deal with it. Frustratingly, he still had no idea what was wrong with –

Hux’s eyes shot open as the fogginess of having just awoken evaporated. Instead, left in its place where the memories of everything that had occurred over the past cycle.

Yes, he had more or less forced himself to go get checked out by Doctor Fahey in medbay upon realising that his amounting health problems were beginning to have an effect on his work. After some tests, he finally learned the cause behind them; he was in _heat_.

Such an unexpected diagnosis was made even worse in that he had inadvertently exposed himself as an omega, something which he had managed to keep hidden for almost two decades. And while the good doctor had sworn that he wouldn’t reveal his commander’s designation to anyone, Hux’s situation was made even graver when Fahey informed him that he couldn’t simply ignore his heat and ride it out by himself. Waiting for it to pass apparently wasn’t an option. The only ‘cure’ for it required him to be knotted by an alpha and if not, his symptoms would only grow worse. He risked permanent bodily damage, and in the direst of circumstances even death.

After much deliberating, Hux came to the conclusion that he had no choice but to seek out an alpha aboard the Finalizer to share his heat with. And to show that he had truly taken leave of his senses, he choose Kylo Ren of all people; thus voluntarily outing himself as an omega to his co-commander in the process. It was clear evidence that he had lost his mind. In any case, due to the unique opportunity to have his way with an omega in the midst of their heat, and despite it being his hated co-commander – or at least Hux had always assumed he was hated – Ren agreed to it.

After arrangements were made, the knight came by his quarters later that evening and after a lot of hassle and delay courtesy of Hux’s shameful insecurities and painful lack of experience, Ren successfully knotted him, thus preventing – or at least Hux hoped it to be the case – his untimely, and what would have most certainly been a humiliating, death.

Hux winced as he attempted to sit up. Even with his memories fuzzy, the way his body and his behind in particular felt, it was more than obvious that he had had sex not too long ago. Especially as he had had no previous familiarity with the sensations he was feeling. 

While he had faded in and out of conscious several times after being knotted by Ren, he was sure that Ren had knotted him at least once more after that, if not more. Hux could also vaguely remember Ren taking his cock in his hand and helping to ease some of the tension in his overwhelmed and overwrought body. Even with Ren’s knot still inside him, it hadn’t been enough, his body craving more. Hux felt his face redden as he remembered. He must have come across as so needy, a true embodiment of that humiliating and unfair stereotypical perception of how omega’s behaved during their heats.

All of a sudden it hit Hux that last night had not only been his first proper heat, but also his first time being knotted. But most significant of all, it was his first time ever having sex with someone, meaning that he was no longer a virgin. But even when he was, he had never really attached the word with himself, nor been bothered by the negative connotations it seemed to hold for so many people. He had never thought less of himself for never having sex; in truth having never given it that much thought. The only part of himself that he had any issues with that were remotely related to sex was his designation, and even then he had at least been able to take refuge in the beta identity he had assumed for himself.

In any case, all of those experiences were associated with omegas far younger than himself. Not that he had exactly asked, nor wanted to go through any of these ‘firsts'. He had never expected to and neither had he mourned that he wouldn’t get the chance to experience such things. Nevertheless, he was thankful that Ren hadn’t laughed or taunted him when he had been forced to admit that he hadn’t. Ren had been surprised of course, as well as confused given that it was practically unheard of for omegas to be ‘pure’ at his age, let alone having never gone through a heat. But Ren hadn’t acted cruelly to him, nor had he mocked him as Hux believed many others in his position would have done. Instead Ren had been sympathetic and understanding – although according to Ren himself admittedly also very turned on– so much so that Hux had been left completely stunned by Ren’s kind words and comforting gestures.

Furthermore, as sexual partners went, despite being an alpha, Ren had been surprisingly gentle and considerate with him. Given that it was his first time, in addition to the fact that Ren possessed a rather sizable cock, it had hurt, but it was far from the unbearable pain he had always thought that having sex with an alpha would result in. Considering alphas were often characterised as aggressive and easily losing control of themselves when with an omega in heat, Hux had expected a thoroughly unpleasant experience. He supposed that it was similar to the way that omegas were portrayed as writhing and desperately needy things during their heats, caring only about receiving an alphas knot to sate their unquenchable lust. Not that he hadn’t necessarily acted that way himself during his own …

Hux felt his cheeks flush even darker as he remembered crying out to Ren, telling him that he needed him. His mind thought to torment him even further with the memories of the noises that had come out of his mouth. And as for the sounds he couldn’t quite recall making what with being in the throes of his heat, well, they were undoubtably even more mortifying.

Hux supposed that it was it a small blessing that Ren had been the only one who had heard them, and even that was bad enough. Still, as long as he kept –

Hux’s thoughts came to abrupt halt, as he suddenly realised something.

Despite the events of the past day having flooded back to Hux, in particular his time spent with Ren, he had somehow managed to forget about the alpha’s presence there, as if everything he had been remembering thus far had merely been dream. Nevertheless, while he still struggled to believe it, he knew for a fact that it was very much real.

Hux immediately turned to look over at the other side of the bed. Whether he had truly expected to find Ren lying there, he couldn’t say. But whether he had or not, it did nothing to stop the stab of disappointment he felt upon seeing the space there next to him vacant.

Of course, Ren was gone. The alpha had gotten what he had come here for after all; to have his way with an omega in heat. To have his way with _him_. There would be no reason for Ren to stay after that. It wasn’t as if he were someone of importance to Ren, and Hux doubted that Ren would have stuck around until the other people he had bedded in the past had woken up either. Perhaps Ren had even left right after fucking them, or if they had been omegas in heat, then the very second his knot deflated and he could physically get away. But really there was no reason for him to feel disappointed about finding Ren gone. And in any case, Ren had at least stayed until he had fallen asleep. That was something at least.

That aside, it was typical alpha behaviour. They took want they wanted and the second they got it they no longer gave a damn, thinking only of themselves. They were all selfish, arrogant and undeserving. Ren, of course, was no different.

_No_ , thought Hux, instantly chastising himself. Thinking that way was deeply unfair to Ren. While it might have been easier to believe that Ren’s only reason for remaining was purely for his own sexual gratification, especially as it would make their arrangement more straightforward, transactional even, there had been more to Ren staying in spite of Hux ordering him to leave than just sex. When it came down to it, Ren hadn’t acted selfishly at all. It was the exact opposite really. Hux still didn’t quite understand the reasons why, other than perhaps wanting to keep him around for his value to the Order, but it was clear to him that Ren had genuinely wanted to help him; to _save_ him.

And Ren had succeeded in that. 

While he still was far from feeling one hundred percent – not that he ever truly felt that way before – Hux was fairing far better than he had been the previous cycle. His entire body no longer felt like it was on fire, burning from the inside out, which was a good sign. And as for his breathing, while he was still a bit short of breath and his throat remained rather hoarse, his breathing was no longer laboured. Nor was it physically painful to breathe either. He felt faint and was extremely thirsty but that most likely came down to all the stress his body had gone through and the substantial vigorous physical activity he had engaged in.

Yes. When it came down to it, it was undeniable. Ren had saved him. He really had.

It was true that he would have to go to Doctor Fahey and be examined by him to be completely sure, but somehow Hux just knew. His body had gotten what it needed and so his unplanned and wholly unexpected heat was finally over with. He had survived, and as far as he could tell, without sustaining any grievous and permanent injury either. Regardless of whether Ren’s intentions had been purely self-interested or altruistic, it didn’t change the fact that Hux was indebted to him, as well as deeply grateful.

Tears started to well up in Hux’s eyes as he reflected on it.

He wasn’t entirely sure why he was crying and as such, quickly berated himself for it. Really he had done quite enough of that already this past cycle. He supposed at the very least this time there would be no one around to see him.

Yes, Ren was gone. It was for the best, Hux told himself. He didn’t think he would be able to live it down, crying in front of the alpha again, especially when he had no real reason for doing so. And even if he did have one, he should be disciplined enough to refrain from it. He would have once added ‘strong enough’ to that as well if the past cycle hadn’t proved to him that definitely wasn’t the case. But he wasn’t ready to focus on the weakness he had so blatantly demonstrated just yet. That would be something to look forward to fretting over in the future when he was left questioning himself and the decisions he had made in the dead of night.

Stars, Ren really would never be able to look at him the same way again, would he, Hux thought miserably. How could he possibly after everything he had witnessed? 

Ren hadn’t been mocking or cruel towards him, he had actually been incredibly thoughtful and supportive, but in addition to knowing that his co-commander was an omega, there was no way that he would be able to take Hux’s words or orders seriously anymore. Whenever he saw Hux, whether it be discussing matters with Snoke or on the bridge, automatically Ren would think either of him breaking down in front of him or of him writhing in bed beneath Ren with Ren’s cock inside him. Both things had involved Hux having to relying on Ren to get through. In other words, Ren had been placed the role of an alpha needing to tend to the emotional and physical needs of a distressed and incapacitated omega. Surely any respect for him, no matter how tenuous it already had been, would be completely gone now.

Hux cursed out loud as he felt a stray tear slide down his cheek. His hormones were evidently still out of balance. It was definitely a good thing that Ren was gone. The alpha had already had enough of his emotional instability to deal with as it was. Any more and absolutely no omega’s heat, particularly not Hux’s heat would be worth all the hassle.

Hux knew that it wasn’t uncommon for hormonal imbalances to linger for a while in the aftermath of an omegas heat. He just hoped that his levels would be back to normal sooner rather than later. After that, he could put the whole sordid ordeal behind him. Or well, most of it. There were certain parts that he wouldn’t mind committing to memory. Quite a few of them if he were being honest. Then again, perhaps it was best to put the entire thing behind him. Ren probably felt the same in that regard.

Hux shuddered. It was at that that he suddenly remembered that he was completely naked. Usually he wore pyjamas to bed which explained why he was feeling the chill of the room so deeply upon awakening. Nonetheless, given that he had felt like he was trapped in a burning furnace not too long ago, he supposed he should be thankful for the change of temperature.

With a small sigh, Hux tugged on the bedsheets and pulling them up, wrapped them around himself. The moment he did so however, Hux’s senses were swiftly assaulted with Ren’s lingering scent. Of course it would still be there. They had shared Hux’s heat together on these sheets and while alphas tended not to produce as strongly smelling pheromones as omegas – at least not the ones in heat – their scents were still extremely potent.

Hux let out a small moan as he took it in and unable to resist, brought the sheets up to his face, exhaling them deeply. Stars, Ren’s scent truly was intoxicating. Hux couldn’t believe that before yesterday, he had never properly smelt it before, his suppressants having inhibited not only his own natural scent but blocked out the scents of other omegas and alphas as well, including Ren’s magnificent aroma.

Ren liked Hux’s scent; had claimed he that he liked it a great deal, telling Hux how amazing it was, how good he smelt. It had been a bit embarrassing and Ren probably would have said as much about any omegas scent, but Hux still couldn’t help being pleased by Ren’s praise of his, even if it was something that he technically had no control over.

Hux wondered if his scent still remained imprinted upon Ren’s skin and clothes, and if so, how long it would linger on them before Ren’s own natural alpha scent suppressed them. Would Ren try wantonly to take Hux’s scent in just as Hux had done with his scent lingering on the sheets? While it shouldn’t really matter, Hux hoped that to be the case. That Ren too, got a strange comfort from it.

Then again, it was quite possible that Ren had washed it away already, just as he had washed away the scents of those other omegas he had bedded. Upon leaving here, there was a good chance that Ren had climbed straight into a shower once he had returned to his own quarters and thrown his robes down the laundry shoot for a droid to take care of without a second thought. After that, all traces of their time together would be gone.

Feeling somewhat dejected by the thought, Hux tugged the sheets around him more tightly. As he did so, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that balanced on the bedside table was a glass of water. As it was incredibly unlikely that he gotten up at some point during the night and poured it himself, Hux could only assume that Ren had left it there for him. Remembering how parched he was Hux bent over to reach for it, wincing slightly as he did so. It was then that he spotted a rations bar placed next to the glass. It appeared that before leaving, Ren had taken the time to put something out for Hux to have to eat and drink when he awoke. Hux was more than capable of getting his own sustenance of course. It was his quarters after all, but nevertheless, he couldn’t help but being somewhat touched by the gesture all the same.

With a slightly trembling hand – it appeared that he hadn’t quite regained his dexterity – Hux brought the glass of water to his lips and began drinking it like a man dying of thirst. Drinking it that fast was a mistake however as he found himself breaking into a coughing fit and spluttering awkwardly as he bent forward. Again, it was definitely a good thing that there was no one around to witness such uncouth and embarrassing display on his part.

After he had ceased coughing and managed to regain some composure, Hux reached over and placed the glass back upon the bedside table. Hux didn’t think he would be able to bring himself to eat anything and so left the rations bar untouched. He would eat it whenever his hunger became too much for him. Although with his appetite having been practically non-existent the past week or so – not that he had ever possessed much of one – Hux wasn’t sure when that would actually be. He had always found eating to be a chore, anyway, taking time away from more important demands such as his work. Still, the fact that Ren had left him with something to eat and drink was surprisingly considerate of the alpha. He supposed in Ren’s mind, helping him through his heat would be pointless if he were then to go and die from dehydration or starvation. Although, perhaps there was more to it than just that. Ren had revealed different aspects of himself that Hux wouldn’t have possibly believed existed before yesterday, after all.

_I promise that I’ll take care of you_. That’s what Ren had told him. _You’ll get through this_.

Hux roughly rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand just as more tears threatened to fall. He scolded himself once more for being disappointed about not waking up to find Ren there lying next to him. There was absolutely no reason why Ren should have to feel the need to wait about while Hux slept and shook off the lingering effects of his heat. He may currently be incapacitated but Ren wasn’t. Furthermore, the knight undoubtably had more pressing things to attend to and even if he didn’t, why should he stick about when he had done exactly what he had come here to do.

Perhaps other than the excessively possessive alphas who worried about someone else trying to make a move on what they considered to be theirs, most wouldn’t stay glued to their omega’s side once their heat was over with. Once they had been knotted, it was expected that omegas tend to themselves, even those known to suffer from emotional disturbances in aftermath of their heats. It was convenient of course that alphas tended only to make sure to be present for the part that involved them sticking their knots in something.

In any case, he and Ren certainly weren’t a mated or bonded pair; far from it, so it wasn’t as if such things even applied to them in the first place. Therefore Hux had no right whatsoever to feel disappointed, especially as Ren had done far more for him than Hux could have possibly anticipate.

Hux couldn’t help but feeling like a spoilt child crying selfishly over an absent parent – although he had most certainly never cried out for Brendol – too busy to give them the attention they so desperately craved, and Hux hated himself for it.

He was alone now and he just had to deal with it. He had spent most of his life isolated, even when surrounded by his fellow cadets at the academy or officers in the barracks, so it wasn’t as if it was something he was unfamiliar with and therefore needed time to adjust to. Ren being here for personal reasons, as would be the case with anyone really, was the true anomaly. The fact that he was alone again was an indication that things were returning to normal; something Hux knew that he should take as a positive.

Nonetheless, Hux wished that he had at least gotten the chance to say goodbye to Ren; to thank him for all his help. And even though Ren had probably thought he was doing him a courtesy by not disturbing him and letting him continue to sleep, Hux also couldn’t help but wish that Ren had woken him up before he had left.

It was funny almost. Yesterday, before Ren had shown up to his quarters, before comforting him on the couch, or perhaps even later than that, he would have considered Ren leaving without saying a single word to him and addressing what had happened to be the best outcome by far. He would have been grateful for it even; for Ren to leave without any acknowledgement of what had occurred between them, thusly reducing any unpleasant awkwardness. And yet here now Hux found himself saddened by not getting the chance to say something to him; or more importantly of not getting the opportunity to at least gage what the alpha thought about it all. If he perhaps regretted it. 

Hux weakly assured himself that he would be thankful for Ren’s discreet departure later on once he returned to his normal self and was no longer plagued by post-heat hormones. In the meantime, Hux discovered that he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself, wondering if he should get up and shower – an action that would see him washing off the remnants of Ren’s presence, at least from his skin – before heading to medbay to get examined by Fahey. If the doctor deemed his heat to be over with and gave him a clean bill of health, perhaps he could even return to immediate duty. That would surely help to take his mind off of things and bring a true sense of return to normalcy. Even if he had scarcely been away from work and didn’t have too much to catch up on, there were always things like paperwork that he could delve into. Of course with a job like his, he was almost constantly occupied, and with the destruction of Starkiller Base, now more so than ever. 

No, returning straight to work wasn’t an option, Hux realised, disappointedly. As far as his bridge officers were concerned, he was currently off-ship on an important and confidential mission for Leader Snoke. Before going back to duty, he would need to make it look as if his shuttle had returned, much in the same way he had doctored records to make it appear as if he had left the Finalizer. As such, he couldn’t just go waltzing onto the bridge without some mild confusion about his return. Not that he believed that anyone would openly question him about it. He liked to think that they would welcome it. The younger officers at least. Still, Hux suspected that the likes of Canady would be suspicious and given the career and reputation destroying nature of his secret, he didn’t want to do anything to draw any undue attention to himself, at least until it was all over with.

Quite unfairly, by contrast, if Ren were to suddenly show up on the bridge having been believed to be off-ship by the crew, no one would bat an eyelid, Snoke’s apprentice more often than not coming and going whenever he so pleased. Ren kept to no one’s schedule but his own, much to Hux’s eternal frustration. It was only thanks to the tracking device embedded in his belt, that Hux had any real idea of the knight’s location when he was away off on some mission. It was also the reason he had been able to, on Snoke’s orders, locate him on Starkiller Base and bring him safely back to the Finalizer before the planet’s destruction. Only Hux had access to the tracking beacon, Snoke being able to sense him from his eerie mystical Force abilities. Hux had never thought to question Ren how he felt about Hux being able to track of his location if he so chose. But then Hux had never really cared enough to ask him.

That aside however, Hux wasn’t sure that he could even manage a feat as simple as walking down the Finalizer’s corridors to medbay, let alone return to bridge duty. He suspected Fahey would probably be against it anyway, demanding that he take some time to recover, as if Hux had that kind of time to waste. But more importantly than that, if there was even the slightest chance that his natural omega scent could be detected by the alpha officers aboard, then he couldn’t take the risk venturing out. He had already played it dangerously close leaving it to the last minute before secluding himself in his quarters before his heat. Ren really had been right then. He shouldn’t have still been out walking around the ship at that point. While he would have said he at least knew better for next time, Hux had no intention whatsoever of going through another heat ever again.

Nevertheless, he understood a bit better now why Ren had been so concerned back then. At the time he thought that Ren had simply been implying that Hux was too weak to look after himself. Reflecting back on it, Ren had seemed almost protective. Although Hux couldn’t know for sure if that had really been the case. It wasn’t something he planned on bringing up, however. In the meantime, he hoped that before his suppressants properly started to work again, his scent blocking deodorant and soaps would do the trick in concealing his scent.

Speaking of which, he should probably start taking them again sooner rather than later. But given the toxic build-up of them in his bloodstream that was in part responsible for his unanticipated heat, it was perhaps better to consult with Fahey about it first. He just hoped he wouldn’t have to wait long.

Hux let out a loud sigh. The thought of getting out of bed felt like more trouble that it was worth right now, an insurmountable task really. Truly, it would be so much easier to stay wrapped up in his bedsheets imprinted with Ren’s comforting scent, and simply roll over and attempt to return to sleep. At least when he was a sleep he didn’t have to deal with such physical and emotional exhaustion. Honestly, out of the two of them, Hux wasn’t sure which was worse.

“It’s just some lingering post-heat side-effects,” Hux muttered to himself, wiping away some of the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand, “Come now. You’re not so pathetic and helpless that you can’t deal with a little residual illness and fatigue, are you?” In truth, Hux wasn’t so sure anymore; his confidence and assurance in himself and abilities having taken a fierce blow.

“The Order needs you,” Hux reminded himself, “Even he said so himself.” Hux groaned as he realised that he was referring to Ren. It really wasn’t going to be at all easy to get the man out of his head. Although, admittedly, despite previous attempts to banish thoughts of Ren, his co-commander had long occupied a place there. And with everything, even if they never spoke again outside of professional necessity, Hux suspected that Ren’s presence in his thoughts would only become more encompassing.

Doubting that he would be able to get anything done right now and not wanting to keep dwelling on things, Hux lay back down, intending to sleep the rest of cycle away, However, his plan was put to a swift end when all of a sudden he heard a series of clanging noises coming from the living room. 

Tensing, Hux quickly shot up right, wincing slightly as he did so. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was that there appeared to be an unknown entity in his quarters.

Was it a cleaning droid? It would explain the clinking sounds as it made its way through his quarters cleaning and tidying as it was programmed to do. However, Hux was positive that he had made sure to cancel the services of the cleaning droid right before leaving his office yesterday. Had the notification not gone through? If not, it was a horrible oversight, and he would see that whoever missed it was punished for it.

In the meantime, he would have to have the droid’s memory wiped immediately. Fortunately First Order cleaning droids had rather basic and somewhat crude programming so it wouldn’t be at all difficult to do. It was just more a pain than anything else, not to mention, frustrating.

However, it being a droid would be the best case scenario, the real issue would be if it were a person, which Hux realised much to his dismay was the more likely explanation in that the droid wouldn’t have been able to enter his quarters without him having first given it access.

Perhaps whoever it was, believing that he was off-ship, had decided to use the opportunity to break into his quarters for stars knew what. The most likely reason would be to look for something to blackmail him with. If so, it was an incredibly bold move on their part. But one that would ultimately pay off for them if they also just so happened to be an alpha and were able to get a whiff of his scent. That the great General Hux was actually an omega would make the ultimate blackmail material. 

Cursing to himself, Hux realised that he had stupidly left his blaster in the other room meaning he couldn’t just walk out and kill the intruder. And while there were knives he kept concealed about the place, including his bedroom, Hux doubted he possessed the agility and dexterity to inflict any fatal blows to them let alone possessing the energy to put up any real semblance of a fight.

As he was now, he was wholly vulnerable, and as loathe as he was to do it, his only other real option for him was to hide somewhere and hope that the intruder didn’t chance upon him. Once he discovered who it was and how they broke through his steadfast security, he would locate and execute them himself. 

However, before he got the chance to even get up off the bed, never mind, find somewhere to hide, the door the bedroom door swished open. Hux’s body went completely rigid, no idea what to expect. 

If it wasn’t an alpha, he still had a chance at least. They wouldn’t be able to smell him and he could –

Hux’s thoughts came to a halt as soon as he saw who the intruder was.

“R-Ren?!” he spluttered out.

Despite the alpha being a constant presence in his thoughts since the moment he had woken up, in his panic it hadn’t occurred to him that the person making the noise could in fact be Ren. Hux felt utterly embarrassed by the oversight, especially as Ren was the most likely candidate considering he had been there when Hux had fallen asleep. It occurred to Hux that if he hadn’t even been able to deduce something so obvious, then he really wasn’t in any fit state to return to duty. 

He had just been so certain that Ren had left already. That the alpha might be residing elsewhere in his quarters hadn’t even occurred to him. Ren had been here all a long and he felt like such a fool.

Ren too looked momentarily surprised, although Hux wasn’t sure what reason he had to be.

“Oh, you’re awake,” said Ren and Hux would have described his voice as almost upbeat.

“You’re still here?” asked Hux, his own tone verging on disbelief. Ren hadn’t left him. Hadn’t left him without saying anything.

“Of course, I am,” replied Ren as if it were preposterous that he wouldn’t be. As Ren came further into the room, Hux saw that he was fully dressed, the only thing missing being his helmet. Hux would have thought he would be more comfortable not wearing so many garments. Of course, admittedly he had no idea how Ren actually dressed in his own quarters. Just as he trained wearing them, perhaps Ren simply wore them all the time. Hux loved his uniform dearly but even he found it to be stifling on occasions, wanting nothing more than to remove it once he returned to his quarters after a particularly draining shift and slip into his black robe. Hux reminded himself that these were his quarters and as such maybe Ren didn’t feel comfortable being dressed down. Although given that it was Ren and the man appeared to be unabashed about most things, it seemed unlikely.

As Ren approached the bed, sheepishly he asked, “I, uh, didn’t wake you just there, did I? I was trying not to be too loud.”

Hux shook his head. “Oh. No. I…I’ve been awake for a little while.” It felt like a while anyway. He couldn’t be entirely sure, however. Especially as he still had no idea what time it even was.

“I thought that you had left actually,” said Hux, hating how small his voice sounded at the admission.

Ren grimaced. “I’m sorry about that. I thought you’d be a sleep a little longer and that I’d have some time to get things sorted. I had intended on being back in bed before you came to,” Ren explained, apologetically, “I didn’t want you to be alone when you woke up.”

“There was no need for you to return to bed just for my sake,” Hux replied, trying his best to hide his relief about Ren still being there.

“Well, I thought you might feel more comfortable about things if I was here when you woke up.” Stars, Ren had no idea how right he was about that. Nevertheless, Hux couldn’t help but resent him slightly for his awareness of such a fact.

“Plus, I didn’t want it to seem like I had just ditched you after your heat.” Despite his own irrational feelings of disappointment when he thought Ren had done just that, Hux still knew that Ren would have been entirely justified in doing so. Ren had no real obligation to him after all. He had already helped him enough as it. Still, he very much appreciated him choosing to stay.

“It…It would fine if you had left. I mean, I’m sure you have things you’d rather be getting on with than just lying here watching me sleep,” said Hux in place of thanking him, not entirely sure how to word it.

“Unless you were actually sleeping yourself, that is,” he added awkwardly. While he was aware in passing that Ren meditated, it was hard to imagine the knight remaining still for very long outside of the activity. He supposed it was much like himself in that he couldn’t stand being idle for long, always needing to busy himself with something. Although admittedly the tasks he and Ren engaged in were very different; Ren’s physical while Hux’s relied mostly on mental energy. He was far from being sentry however, spending most of his shifts on his feet unless he was required to read reports or attend meetings.

“I don’t need much sleep actually. The Force helps sustain my energy,” said Ren. Of course, thought Hux.

Hux didn’t technically need much sleep either but he knew that it was only thanks to copious amounts of caffeine as well as at the expense of his own health that he was able to stay awake for such long periods of time. With Ren on the other hand, it was difficult to fathom him succumbing to any natural health related issues. A blaster bolt through the heart seemed to be the only sure fire way of ensuring the man’s demise. Surely not even his mystical Force powers could bring him back from that. But then again, who knew? The scar on Ren’s face given to him by the scavenger girl proved that he wasn’t impervious to injury at least. If not mourning for the loss of Starkiller Base and focusing all his efforts on hunting down the wretched Resistance, Hux was sure that a vindictive part of himself would have taken pleasure in the knowledge that the mighty Kylo Ren could be so easily cut down by an untrained child. Now however, he just found himself feeling thankful that Ren had made out alive and only with mild injury, considering he could have easily lost a limb with those unstable weapons they fought with.

In spite of the antagonistic relationship they shared, Hux wasn’t sure how he would have coped with both the loss of Starkiller Base and Ren in the same day. By that point, they had both been constants in his life for at least five years,

“As for having better things to do, well, my top priority right now is getting you through your heat,” Ren continued, “Everything else can wait.”

“I believe you’ve succeeded in helping me through it,” replied Hux, offering him a small but appreciative smile.

Ren smiled in return, taking a seat on the bed. “Maybe, but your heat’s different from the norm so it’s best to ere on the side on the caution and not take it for granted that it’s fully over with. I figured it would be a good idea to stay close by just in case something happened or you needed something,” explained Ren, “Plus, uh, some omegas, they find themselves disorientated and unsettled in the aftermath of their heats and feel more at ease when their alpha– I mean, _an_ alpha is around.”

“Ah, I see.” Hux wondered if that last part was a polite way of saying that omegas were clingy after their heats and that he had been expecting Hux to act as much as well. Given the disappointment he had experienced when he thought Ren had gone, Hux couldn’t even say that Ren was entirely wrong in his assumption. Although, ‘clingy’ definitely wasn’t the word he would have used to describe it.

“Well, I can assure you I’m fine,” stated Hux. Ren didn’t look particularly convinced by this, however.

“It’s true. While I can’t say that I’m entirely back to normal, I do feel much better than I did yesterday. My body doesn’t feel like it’s on fire for starters, which I can say wholeheartedly is a very welcome change. And when I woke up earlier I was actually feeling a little bit chil –”

It was at that, that Hux remembered that he had woken up naked, having wrapped the sheets around himself once he felt the cold. And given that he was yet to put any clothes on since waking, he remained in a state of undress. While Ren had seem him naked already and had become intimately acquainted with his body, it somehow felt the different when he was no longer in the throes of heat. Stars, even during his heat, at least in the beginning, Hux had felt incredibly self-conscious in regards to his nakedness and his body in general; about what Ren might think about it. Now that he was no longer being effected by his hormones in the same way as before, he felt exposed, both figuratively _and_ literally. It didn’t help either that Ren was fully clothed, the only part of him that was visible being his head.

The contrast between them only served to make Hux feel even more vulnerable. Of course, now that he thought about, even if Ren hadn’t been wearing any clothing, he’d still be deeply insecure. In fact, given how incredible Ren’s body was, being forced to look at it might have caused him to more insecurity.

Automatically Hux went to pull the sheets around him more tightly only to realise that in his panic due to the unknown invader in his quarters, he had let them drop from his hands.

His face bright red, Hux quickly grabbed at them to cover himself up, bringing the sheets up to his shoulders. His penis had remained covered at the very least, but it was still rather embarrassing to be seen in such a state.

If only his uniform would spontaneously appear upon his body, he thought despairingly. But as that was unlikely to happen, he just wanted to hide fully under the sheets and disappear. Although that last part also wasn’t particularly feasible. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Ren asked, concerned. 

“I-I’m fine,” Hux stuttered out, trying to look anywhere but at Ren.

He could see Ren frown out the corner of his eye. “Your face is all red. Are you sure you’re not still feeling too warm?”

Hux opened his mouth to respond but before he got the chance to answer, Ren was reaching over to him and placing the back of his hand against his forehead. Hux made a small involuntary squeaking noise at Ren’s touch, even though it was completely chaste compared to what they had been doing previously.

With his large hand placed upon his forehead, Hux was forced to look at Ren straight on. Hux could only assume that Ren was trying to check his temperature. Although admittedly it wasn’t a very scientific way of doing it. Not that it mattered given his face being red wasn’t actually the result of feeling too warm.

“Re-Ren…”

“Hmm. You still feel a little hot but definitely not as much as you were before,” stated Ren as he drew his hand back. He didn’t return to his previous space however, remaining close enough that Hux couldn’t help but get a strong whiff of his scent. Hux let out a shuddering breath as he took the alluring and comforting scent in. He was glad that he gotten the chance to smell it at least one more time; before he started taking suppressants again and the scents of others would be lost to him.

“You’re a lot more lucid as well which is always a good sign,” said Ren, snapping Hux back into awareness.

“I’m completely lucid now, thank you,” Hux replied somewhat petulantly, his face now even redder than it had been before.

Hux could scarcely remember anything after Ren knotting him that first time, and even then it was all rather hazy to him. The only thing that he was aware of for sure was that Ren had knotted him at least several times. Of course, then again, there was the possibility that he had dreamt it and Ren really had only knotted him once….

No. Those instances were the ones which had felt most real to him. He supposed that made sense since the need to be knotted was the whole purpose he and other omegas even went into heat in the first place. As such, it only stood to reason that those moments would be clearer than everything else.

As for he and Ren talking, he couldn’t remember having a conversation with the alpha. That was if Hux had even been capable of doing so. The way Ren had said lucid, made Hux think that he hadn’t even been able to talk in coherent sentences. In any case, whether he had been or not, Hux anxiously hoped that he hadn’t said anything too humiliating. But being in such a state where he could scarcely remember anything, it seemed rather unlikely that would be the case.

Stars, was this what people who woke up after drinking excessively the night before, unable to recall quite what happened, felt like? If so, he couldn’t understand how anyone would willingly put themselves in such a comprising position, the allure of alcohol be damned.

A part of Hux wanted to question Ren about if he had said anything strange during his heat. He didn’t dare bring it up, however. If he was lucky then perhaps too, Ren had been out of it enough as well that he didn’t remember things clearly either. It was doubtful but nevertheless, Hux didn’t want to say anything just in the off-chance that Ren really had forgotten.

In the end, maybe it was better that he couldn’t recall. Given the embarrassment he felt over the things he could remember actually saying to and admitting to Ren. 

“I did tell you that I’m feeling better,” Hux continued, desperately resisting the urge to pull the sheets over his head and hide away like a small child. If he couldn’t see Ren then maybe Ren would no longer be able to see him. That’s the way young developing infants perceived things to be.

For the second time in what had been decades, Hux couldn’t help but be reminded of his childhood desire of being able to turn invisible. Not that turning invisible could really help him. He still doubted his ability to be able to leave his quarters.

Ren nodded. “I believe you. You’re scent is nowhere near as potent now either.”

“Ah. I see.” Instead of relief over such confirmation, hearing Ren say that made him feel oddly disappointed. Perhaps because he realised that to Ren he probably no longer smelt ‘incredible’ or ‘amazing’. His scent would have lost its appeal with him no longer being in the midst of heat and Hux would be left smelling like just any other omega Ren might happen to chance upon.

“I wouldn’t go outside just yet though. Even if you’re no longer in it, alphas if they’re close enough, will still be able to smell the residual heat on you,” Ren warned him.

“I don’t suppose if they smelt me they would assume that I had simply spent the night with an omega in heat and that the scent was residual from our liaison?” Hux asked, half-jokingly. An omega in heat certainly wouldn’t spend it with a _mere beta_. But mere beta or no, Hux couldn’t wait to go back to being one. Well, for the most part… 

Ren shook his head. “No. They would be able to tell very quickly that the pheromones were coming from your scent glands. Alpha’s noses are incredibly powerful and are able to discern multiple different –”

“Yes, yes. I figured as much,” Hux interrupted. He probably would have held up a hand as a signal for Ren to stop talking if he weren’t still clutching tightly at his bedsheets sheets in order to conceal his nakedness. In any case, he had expected that answer and so wasn’t too disappointed by it.

“I wouldn’t recommend going out right now anyway,” Ren continued, undeterred by Hux interrupting him. It was amusing, thinking how furious Ren would been about being interrupted not long ago. “You need to rest and time to recover.”

Ren sounded more like a doctor or a nurse than a dark mystical warrior known for striking down his enemies without mercy.

“I’ll be sure to take that under advisement,” said Hux somewhat dourly. 

“I’m serious. You need to take it easy,” urged Ren, his voice serious.

Hux sighed, a little annoyed that Ren thought he could dictate what he did. Nevertheless, it felt nice for someone to be so concerned about him.

“Well, in truth, even though I’d like very much to return to work as soon as possible, I doubt I’d be able to muster up my energy to even get as far as the bridge as I am right now. I do feel much better, but also…” Hux hesitated.

“You also feel what?”

“Well, drained, I suppose.”

It seemed almost inconceivable that Hux should be admitting such a thing to Ren. Usually he would be doing absolutely everything in his power to conceal any possible weaknesses from the man – or from anyone else for that matter – fearing that he might exploit it in order to bring him down and to get further into Supreme Leader Snoke’s good graces. But now, it appeared to be the exact opposite; Ren not wanting to know in order to hurt him but only to offer help. To take care of him.

Hux’s first instincts should have been that it was a trick but he didn’t get any sense of that at all. As far as Hux could tell, Ren was being genuine, and more than anything, it was throwing him for a loop. While it was possible that it was merely wishful thinking on his part, Hux was well aware that he didn’t indulge in such unsubstantiated fantasies in order to make himself feel better, as such it was more likely that Ren truly was being sincere.

“That’s understandable. You went through a lot. And it was your first time in heat as well as you’re first time being ever being with someone. It’s only natural that you’d be exhausted in the aftermath.”

Stars, Hux had admitted to Ren that not only had never been in heat before, but also that he had never slept with anyone either. And while such things weren’t really important to Hux, he knew that it meant a great deal to others. While he hadn’t indicated as much, Hux hoped that Ren didn’t think less of him for it.

No, from what he could recall, Ren had been pleased about him having yet to have lose his virginity, that he was the first person that Hux had been with in any intimate way. Of course, such a thing said nothing about respect. It was easy to desire someone physically and hold them in ill regard.

Nevertheless, that didn’t change the fact that Hux did respect Ren. Even more so now that before. He just hoped it wasn’t the opposite for Ren.

“I’ll stay here until you’re feeling better,” Ren assured him.

“There’s no need for that. I’ll be fine,” replied Hux, still so unused to being offered let alone accepting any help. Not when it came to his physical or mental wellbeing anyway. Perhaps that’s why he was once again trying to reject it in spite of knowing that he didn’t really wish for Ren to leave. At least not right anyway.

“You probably will be, for my own sake of my mind, I’d like to stick around for a while longer if that’s alright with you?” said Ren, “I promise I won’t disturb you.”

Hux sighed. Damn. Did Ren really have to be so earnest about it? It was embarrassing. Although, he supposed it was better than Ren demanding.

“Fine. Do as you please,” Hux answered, trying his best not to let his gratefulness about it show. Ren on the other hand, seemed to have no problem in showcasing his. As if Hux was doing him a huge favour in taking more of Ren’s time up.

“Good. Well, now that you’re awake, you really should try and eat something. You’ll feel better once you do. I saw you drank the water I left out but didn’t open the rations bar. Still, no success?” said Ren, his eyes flittering over to the bedside table where the now empty glass sat. Hux wasn’t entirely sure what he meant by that. But Ren continued on speaking before he got the chance to ask.

“I guess it’s not the most appetising thing, but you don’t have a lot of food in your conservator or cupboards, and as it didn’t need to be warmed up. Plus there was no risk of it spilling over the bed if you were still feeling faint. I thought that it was best thing to go with at the time.” Ren paused, frowning. “You know it’s not a good idea going into heat without stocking up on food. Especially when you need as much energy as you can get. Both before and after it.”

Hux shot Ren a slightly unimpressed look. “Did you only choose to stay in order to lecture me?” he asked, defensively.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to criticise,” said Ren, apologetic, “I know that you didn’t really have much time to prepare for any of this. I guess with everything, having enough food in was probably the last thing on your mind.”

Stars, now Hux felt guilty. It would definitely take a while to get used to this contrite and considerate version of Ren.

Hux shook his head. “No. It’s fine. I haven’t had much of an appetite this past week or so. But you’re correct, I probably should eat something.” It wasn’t that he wanted to. Hux was just aware that if he wanted to regain his energy and recover from his ordeal, he really should have something. Usually he would rely on stims and caf to perk himself up and provide a good deal of fuel but even he was aware that such a thing was probably unadvisable at the moment. At least until he had something solid in his stomach. Given that he hadn’t managed more than a few bites the last time he had attempted to eat, he was no doubt in desperate need of some nourishment. Still, Ren had been right, a rations bar wasn’t the most appetising of things so he wasn’t particularly looking forward to it. But again, he wasn’t eating for enjoyment. It was purely for necessity.

“Alright then, could you…” Hux began, holding onto the sheets with one hand while he held out the other for Ren to give him the ration’s bars. Ren made no movement however, seeming to have something else in mind.

“Like I said, you seem far more lucid and in control now than before, so I was thinking you could probably manage something a little more substantial than just a rations bar. That and it’s been a while since you’ve last eaten something.”

“Not that long. I had a protein pack for lunch yesterday,” lied Hux. He hadn’t managed anything really, “A day without eating is hardly going to be an issue.” Unfortunately, Ren seemed to be able to tell he was lying about eating something if the expression on his face was anything to go by. It made Hux uneasy.

“Well, I didn’t manage to eat all of it,” Hux retracted, hoping Ren would buy it, not wanting to lie but also not wanting to disappoint the alpha. He cursed his damn omega hormones that made him want to please him. “Still, I ate some and –”

“Uh, Hux, do you know how much time has passed since you first went into heat? That is, since we came into the bedroom?” Ren asked carefully.

Hux frowned. That was a strange way of phrasing his question. “I’m not sure. I haven’t looked at the time yet.” He usually used his datapad to check the time when needed, but like his blaster, he had absent-mindedly left it in the other room. Apparently cautiousness and vigilance went completely out the airlock when one went into heat. “So, what time is it then?”

“It’s just after twenty-two hundred hours,” Ren replied.

“Ah, so I was aslee – that is, have been incapacitated for most of the cycle then,” Hux mused, a little embarrassed. It would have been easier to accept if he had been asleep the entire time but he was aware that there were instances he couldn’t remember clearly due to the haziness that came with being in heat. He supposed in that amount of time, Ren could have knotted him several times, making Hux feel more assured that he hadn’t just imagined it. In any case, Hux honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had spent all day in bed. Most likely when he had taken ill as a child. He had sustained injuries in the past but thankfully nothing so serious that required any kind of extended bedrest which meant he fell behind his fellow officers or cadets.

Hux paused. No that was a lie. After presenting and about to go into heat for the first time, his father, although able to stop it through the use of suppressants he managed to obtain, had sent his son away for several days under false pretence just in case things didn’t work out and he did go into heat after all. This involved him being confined to Brendol’s private shuttle. He had spent decent amount of it, curled up miserably in the small bunk, lamenting his fate of presenting as an omega. But for most of the duration of his confinement, Hux had used studying as a means of distracting himself. Well, that and reflecting on how best to ensure that the future he had envisioned for himself wouldn’t fall apart completely before he even got anywhere close to achieving it.

“That’s not too bad then.” A cycle he could deal with. He hopefully shouldn’t have missed that much of the daily goings on in the ship. Maybe he could even get Ren to brief him on them.

Then again, thinking about it, he was probably better just looking over the daily reports himself. It was likely they had already been sent to his datapad, Hux having demanded regular updates of the goings on of the Finalizer when he had been spending a lot of time off-ship during the construction of Starkiller.

“Uh, actually, you’ve been out a little bit longer than that,” answered Ren, looking slightly uneasy. Such things didn’t usually bode well.

Hux frowned. “What do you mean? Just how long have I been…well, incapacitated for?”

“It’s been just under three cycles.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologises for the awkward ending point. Chapter was getting a bit long (shock) and so I decided to split it into two.
> 
> Poor Hux remains an insecure mess, but thankfully Kylo is still there. 😅
> 
> Thank you so much for the lovely comments last chapter. I really appreciate them. 😊
> 
> Feel free to hit me up on [tumblr](https://yanyangire.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/yangiretrash).


	8. Chapter 8

“What?! I’ve been in bed for three bloody cycles?!” Hux cried in disbelief. “I can’t…I can’t believe this!”

“Hux, calm down. It’s okay,” urged Ren, placing his hand on Hux’s shoulder.

“Of course, it’s not okay!” shouted Hux before going on to frantically ask, “What have I missed? Is the ship functioning alright? There hasn’t been an attack has there? The Resistance, they haven’t –”

“You haven’t missed anything, I swear,” Ren interrupted gently, “The ship is completely fine and no, there hasn’t been any sort of attack. I’ve been reading the daily briefings and nothing out of the ordinary has occurred. I suppose you could say, it’s been business as usual.”

Hux wished that hearing that made him feel better than it did, but there was still the issue that he could scarcely remember anything that had occurred during the past three cycles. The only thing he could really recollect was Ren knotting him and –

Wait, now that that he really thought about it, he could recall very vaguely Ren, as well as embracing him in his arms as they lay waiting for his knot to deflate, of him holding him upright with a glass of water in one his hand urging him to take a sip. Possibly it was the same glass that now sat empty on the bedside table next to them. Hux couldn’t remember if he had taken a drink or not. If he had then it hadn’t been enough to quench his thirst given how parched he felt when he awoke. Although now with the knowledge that there was a three cycle window in his period of being incapacitated by his heat, it could have been at least a day or so ago that he drank anything and as such it would make sense that he would be thirsty again, especially with all the energy his body had been expending.

Ren had likely tried coaxing him to eat the rations bar as well, but from Ren’s earlier comment about having no success, seemingly he had refused it. It bothered Hux immensely that he couldn’t even remember doing so.

Hux shoved his face in his hands, pressing it harshly against them as he resisted the urge to scream.

“How is possible that I can’t remember almost three cycles worth of time?” Hux mumbled into his hands, “What’s wrong with me?”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it,” urged Ren, giving his shoulder a soft squeeze. Hux hadn’t even realised that Ren had placed his hand there. “And there’s nothing wrong with you.” Hux snorted at that.

“Look, it’s not at all uncommon for omegas to become unfocused and unaware of their surroundings throughout their heats. Not to mention, losing track of time. Often, they’re only able to remember fragments of them. Especially during difficult ones like yours,” explained Ren, “And remember, it was your first time as well. Your mind and body aren’t used to any of it.”

Forget a doctor or a nurse, Ren was acting more like a councillor or even a therapist than an unyielding warrior known for his relentlessness pursuit of and ferocity towards his enemies.

Hux pulled his face away from his hands. “Kriff. No wonder you mocked me when I said I fully intended on returning to work after a single cycle,” Hux commented wryly, “What an absolute fool I was to think such a thing was possible.”

Hux noticed Ren wince slightly as he pulled his hand back from his shoulder. Clearly he still held some regret about his attitude to Hux then; back before he had realised the true anxiety-inducing extent of Hux’s situation.

“You’ve never gone through a heat before so you didn’t fully understand what you were in for. So I wouldn’t say you were a fool so much as simply naïve.”

Hux sighed, placing his hands down on his lap. “Isn’t that just as bad?” 

“I wouldn’t say that. Someone who’s naïve can learn from experience. But a fool is always a fool.” Then with a small smile, Ren said, “And from working with you these past five years, I wouldn’t say you’re a fool.”

“I suppose that’s true,” said Hux, reflecting upon the many fools he had been forced to suffer in his lifetime. He then compared them to the bright-eyed and innocent new recruits who with the proper training were taught about the dangers out there and subsequently not to take things for granted. Upon learning such lessons, they altered their behaviour and perceptions to accommodate such information, while still maintaining their devotion and respect towards the First Order.

It was a very different situation, but nevertheless, Hux had never once in his life thought of himself as being bright-eyed and innocent. However, he supposed, to say that he was naïve in heat and omega related matters would be correct, if not a little humiliating. Still, it was reassuring to know that Ren didn’t think of him as being foolish in spite of all the times that indicated that he had thought otherwise.

“Plus, the occasional naivety can be rather endearing, you know?” Ren added hesitantly.

Hux blinked. “I-I see.”

Was Ren trying to say that he found him to be endearing? That he liked Hux’s naivety surrounding his going into heat?

No, Hux was hardly the image of the sweet docile omega that might inspire such sentiments, neither in personality nor built. Ren was probably just trying to make him feel better, which in addition to taking care of him, appeared to be the alpha’s main priority; something which was further evidenced by his desire for him to eat and Ren’s continued reluctance to leave his presence.

Recalling Ren’s insistence on remaining, Hux was struck by a sudden possibility.

“Ren, you claim that I’ve been in bed for almost three cycles now.” Ren nodded. “You’re not saying that you’ve actually been here for that length of time as well, are you?”

It was more than likely that wasn’t the case. After all, there was no way that Ren would have stayed with him that long. When Hux was in the middle of his heat, it made sense that he be present. Not to mention during the times when Ren’s knot was inside him and he physically couldn’t leave, even if he had wanted to. For the rest of the time however, when Hux was passed out asleep, there was no reason for him to linger in his quarters.

As such, Hux could only conclude that Ren must have periodically been checking up on him, leaving the glass of water and ration’s bar there for him in case he woke up properly and wanted something. It had certainly been a thoughtful gesture. It also happened to explain why Ren was fully dressed. Evidently, the noises coming from the next room earlier had been Ren returning to Hux’s quarters to see how he was doing. If his unnecessary apology from earlier was any indication then Ren had wanted to be here when Hux came to. Of course, he couldn’t possibly have had any real notion of when that would actually be, making Hux wonder how often Ren had happened to stop by.

Stars, with three cycles having passed, there was absolutely no way that Hux could possibly justify any disappointment with Ren not being there when he awoke. The fact that Ren had even come back to check on him was already more than enough. 

“Not the entire time,” answered Ren. Hux relaxed a bit at that. For Ren to have stayed here with him for the entirety of it would have been ridiculous, even if Ren had claimed that helping him through his heat was the most pressing matter for him. 

“I did go out to get you some food not too long ago. I hadn’t intended on being away for very long but unfortunately by the time I returned, you were awake already.”

Hux frowned upon hearing Ren’s explanation. “Ren, you’re not trying to say that when you went to get me something to eat earlier, that that was the only time you’ve been gone this entire time?”

Ren hummed. “More or less. It was bad timing that I happened to be away when you awoke.”

“But…But it’s been three cycles since we went to bed!” Hux stated in disbelief.

“Yeah. That’s why I thought you could do with something a bit more nutritious and filling than a mere rations bar,” Ren replied, completing missing the point of Hux’s shock. “I had no idea how lucid you’d be or if you’d just want to go straight back to sleep when you next awoke but I thought it would be worth it to and get some better food in case you felt up for eating something. But you seem pretty clear-headed now so I suppose I made the right decision.”

“I put the food I got on the table out there,” said Ren as he signalled to the living area, “It looked like it hadn’t been used for a while. I pulled it out a bit so I hope that’s okay. But if you’d be more comfortable I can set things up so you can eat while sitting on the couch.”

“Ren, I don’t…”

“Do you think you’re able to get up, okay? It might be good for you to stretch your legs a little,” Ren continued, “But if you’re not, I can always bring it through here to you. I got a few different dishes so depending on what you want, it might need heated up a little, but if you tell me –” Ren stopped, concern marring his features.

“Hux, what’s wrong?”

Hux was momentarily confused by the question when he suddenly realised that without being aware, he was crying. “Oh!” Quickly he began wiping away at the forming tears in his eyes, with the back of his hand. So much for not letting Ren see him shed any tears again.

“Are you alright?” asked Ren, placing his hand back on Hux, this time resting it on his upper arm.

Hux lowered his hand from his eyes. “Yes. Forgive me. It’s just these damn hormones, you know.” The worried look remained on Ren’s face. “Honestly, I’m fine,” Hux assured him, embarrassed.

“Is it really just that? Or is there something else that’s upset you?”

Hux frowned, debating whether to say anything or not or if he should reiterate that it was his hormones. It was… well, he just couldn’t quite comprehend the lengths that Ren had gone to for him. Staying by his side, getting him food. It was far too much. “I’m not upset. I’m just having trouble believing that you’ve been here the entire time.”

“Not that I don’t doubt you have been of course,” Hux quickly added in case Ren thought he was insinuating that he believed Ren to be lying, “But I don’t understand it. Why have you stayed?”

“Well, your heat was a dangerous one and there were a few unknown factors so it would have been pretty irresponsible of me to just leave here without at least making sure you really were going to be alright. Plus, I wanted to be here in case something went wrong or you needed me for something.”

“Even though it took up three cycles of your time? Time you could have utilised in doing something far more productive with?” If Hux had to give up three cycles worth of his valuable time for someone’s else benefit, then he would have been absolutely livid. And yet, here Ren was acting like it was no big deal at all. Clearly Ren was a more tolerant person than him. Something which Hux would never have thought.

Ren frowned. “I would count making sure that you don’t die as productive,” Ren replied, his voice taking on a defensive tone.

Hux startled slightly. “No, I didn’t mean –” Hux paused, lowering his head. Earlier he had been lamenting not getting the chance to thank Ren before he left, but now that he was here, he seemed to only be succeed in questioning his judgement and insulting him. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I’m unappreciative, honestly.” Hux sighed, hating how he seemed to be so useless in explaining himself when it came to issues like this. Meanwhile, if it were something like describing battles tactics or the like then he would have absolutely no issue whatsoever. “I suppose it’s just difficult for me not to feel guilty over the fact that I’ve taken up so much of your precious time.”

“Hey, I’m the one who agreed to help you, remember?” said Ren, his voice softening quite a bit, “That was my own decision.”

Hux bit his lip. “Yes, but you hardly signed up for any of this. In truth, I can’t help but feeling like I’ve deceived you.” He had thought much the same last night – No, that wasn’t right. It would have been several nights ago now. But in any case, it hard not to feel as if he had taken advantage of Ren’s unexpected good-nature.

“It’s not like you forced me into this. And you gave me plenty of chances to leave if I recall,” Ren countered, “You urged me several times in fact and even practically ordered me to get out your quarters at one point. I’d hardly consider that you deceiving me into anything.”

Hux offered Ren a wry smile. “My, I bet you regret not following that order now.” It was true that he had given Ren several outs, but even then…

“Not at all,” replied Ren, cupping Hux’s cheek in his hand, surprising him.

Hux spluttered, unable to get out any words to form a response. He still didn’t understand why. As an inexperienced virgin, surely the sex wasn’t that good to warrant it not being perceived as more hassle than it was really worth? Or perhaps it was the fact that Ren got to be with an omega during their very first heat? One who consequently happened to be their co-commander, and who Ren could also lord the fact over whenever he so pleased. 

But even if such things were true, there was really no reason for Ren to stick around in the aftermath. He could have taken what he wanted from Hux and then left, just like so many of the alpha’s out there had done to millions of other omegas just like…well, he supposed not _just like_ him. Nevertheless, the overall situation was comparable at least.

Was it the result of some sense of duty instilled out of Ren’s New Republic mindset that made him so insistent on staying and watching over Hux? Some kind of moral code, perhaps?

Having worked with Ren the past five years, Hux had never identified one as such. That was unless he had managed to miss something vital. There of course was the possibility that this was something entirely unique. Despite their differences, they were on the same side after all. He wasn’t Ren’s enemy so there was no reason to treat him in the callous manner as he would someone outside the First Order who he deemed to be a threat. But the reasoning or the cause aside, Ren’s staunch desire to stick by his side for the time being was completely incomprehensible to Hux.

“You really should eat something, you know” said Ren, rubbing lightly against Hux’s cheek with his thumb, “Think you’ll be able to get up and eat at the table?”

Hux nodded dumbly, and Ren grinned. “Great.”

Letting go of his cheek, Ren held out his hand to him. Still taken aback, Hux automatically took it without thinking. He winced slightly as he stood up, his behind still aching a bit.

“Do you want to get dressed first?” asked Ren, “Or are you -”

Hux had both forgotten that he was naked and was unaware that he had dropped the bedsheets again, no doubt having done so when he had shoved his face into his hands in dismay.

Hux let out a small yelp as he immediately went to cover himself with his arms. Unfortunately with his legs not being used in several days and lacking in energy, he almost toppled over. And for what might as well have been the hundredth time, Ren reached out and steadied him.

“Hey, careful. Don’t move too quickly,” said Ren, “Do you need some help getting to the table? If you want I could car-”

“I’m fine!” Hux declared abruptly before Ren got the chance to suggest what Hux thought he was about to. “You could have had least pointed out that I wasn’t wearing any clothes before you helped me up,” Hux grumbled, flushing as he took a small step back, feeling wholly exposed.

Ren hummed. “Clearly I’ve gotten used to seeing you naked these past few cycles that I forgot.”

Hux glared at him, unsure if Ren was being serious or just trying to have some fun at his expense.

“There’s really no reason for you to feel self-conscious,” said Ren.

‘That’s easy for you to say, looking the way you do,’ Hux wanted to remark, instead choosing to leave the words unsaid. Ren had a wonderful physique, while himself, not so much. He was woefully thin with a soft belly that he couldn’t seem to shift no matter what he did. Oh well, it would soon be hidden from view again. He supposed he should be thankful that Ren hadn’t said anything disparaging about it.

“I thought you would be used to being naked in front of others from your time as a cadet living at the academy,” mused Ren, “I can’t imagine you were given much privacy when you attended.”

“No. Not really,” Hux confirmed, momentarily reflecting back on his time there, “There were several of us sharing the same quarters, and while it wasn’t horribly cramped, we rarely got much time to be alone without someone lingering close by.” It had been much the same when he was a junior officer as well. It felt like a lifetime ago now.

“I experienced something similar growing up. At times it was as if you could barely even hear yourself think. I hated it.” Yes, Hux hardly imagined that Skywalker’s mystical cult offered any more freedom and privacy than the academy had. He supposed it was something they could both relate to. And yet, despite the lack of privacy, Hux wondered if Ren had ever felt quite alone as Hux had during his early years.

“Yes, it could be frustrating, but it’s quite a different situation getting changed amongst your peers than being naked in front of a single person like this. Back then you were only focusing on the task of putting on your own uniform while your room-mates were doing the same thing with theirs,” Hux explained, “That aside, everything was scheduled so meticulously that we weren’t exactly left with much time to stand around examining each other.” And if they were late, they would definitely be punished.

Still, it wasn’t entirely true that there wasn’t at least some occasions when they were able to look at each other’s bodies; for instance getting ready for bed in the evening or sneaking a quick glance in the shower. Not that he had bothered with such things of course. At least not since he first presented. To do so wouldn’t be worth the consequences if he so happened to be discovered.

“Would it make you feel more comfortable if I got undressed as well?” Ren teased lightly, “I don’t mind at all.” Hux hated that there was a part of himself that genuinely wanted to take Ren up on his offer. Ren’s body was magnificent and getting the chance to see it again… well, to turn it down seemed outright idiotic, particularly as it was unlikely that he would ever get another chance to see it again.

But no, he needed to show restraint. Especially as there was no reason for either of them to be naked. That time had passed.

“That’s quite alright. I don’t plan on remaining in this state of undress any longer.”

“That’s a pity,” said Ren, practically pouting.

Hux ignored him. “Anyway, if you’re that determined in helping me out, then do me a favour and fetch me my robe. It’s in the wardrobe just there. The black one.” Hux knew that he had no right to order Ren about considering everything he had done for him but it helped distract from his embarrassment. Fortunately, Ren for whatever reason, tolerated his high-handedness, walking over to the wardrobe and fetching it without a single protest. Ren really didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest and it baffled Hux greatly.

Hux quickly reached out and snatched the robe out of Ren’s hands, fearing that the alpha might hold the garment up for Hux to slip his arms into, much in the way that one might help a child or invalid dress. The least Hux could do was try his best to prove that he wasn’t completely incapable of taking care of himself. He could dress himself, even if it only involved pulling on a robe.

Hux made sure to thank Ren, however. The first time he had done so since he had awoken. He would be sure to thank Ren properly about everything else later. He supposed that in the meantime, he would consider this as him slowly working up to it.

Despite now being covered – at least more so than he had been before – Hux still felt a little bit exposed, so used to having his entire body concealed beneath his perfectly tailored uniform. But it would do for now at least.

“That’s a nice robe,” Ren told him, sounding almost admiring. Whether Ren was complimenting the robe itself, Hux wearing it, or both, Hux was unsure. In any case, he couldn’t help but wonder what Ren’s reaction would have been if he had answered the door to him wearing it the other night. However, upon remembering the panicked state he had been in that evening, his curiosity was quickly quashed. 

Hux had to admit, he was particularly fond of the robe and after his uniform, it was the piece of clothing he wore the most often. Not that anyone ever saw him wear it of course. The damn traitor Cardinal might have even been the last person to do so.

“Ready?” asked Ren, and before Hux got the chance to answer, the knight turned and exited the bedroom. In spite of it being his quarters, Hux almost felt as if he were the guest and Ren was the one offering up his hospitality to him. Nonetheless, Hux decided not to comment on it, following silently behind him.

Hux wasn’t sure what he had been expecting when he saw the table but it certainly hadn’t been this. On it rested several different dishes with the lids resting upon each making it difficult to tell exactly their contents. There were also two large bread loaves along with a jug of water and some kind of juice as well as a couple of condiments that Hux suspected contained things like salt and pepper or sauce.

Did Ren really believe that just because he hadn’t eaten anything in the past few cycles that he would somehow be able to manage to eat all this? By his own standards this was practically a feast!

“There appears to be quite a lot,” stated Hux, unable to hide the apprehension in his voice. Even taking into account that he wasn’t used to seeing so much laid out upon the mostly ignored table, as well as the likelihood that Ren fully intended on eating a good portion of the food himself, there was still way too much for just the two of them to consume. In truth it seemed more suited to a small gathering of people. Perhaps an officer returning to their quarters about to sit down to a meal with their family after their shift had ended. Of course, there was also the possibility that Ren simply had a large appetite and intended to eat most of it himself. Hux had always suspected that given Ren’s size, the alpha had to eat a decent amount to keep up his muscular physique.

“I wasn’t exactly sure of your preferences or what you’d be in the mood for so I decided to get a few basics dishes for you to choose from,” Ren explained before urging Hux to take a seat.

“I-I see,” said Hux, so caught off guard that he allowed Ren to pull out his chair for him and even push it in once he was sat down.

“There’s some vegetable broth, rice, noodles, porridge, croutons, and of course some bread as well,” Ren announced as he went about the table lifting the lids off each dish to reveal what was in them, “The choices are little plain but I figured anything too spicy or overly sweet might be a bit too much for your stomach to cope with right now.”

Such things were already too much for his stomach to cope with at the best of times. Hux had grown up eating plain rations with food often being particularly scarce and difficult to come by when the remnants of the Imperial Empire had set off into the unknown regions. Even once they located food and eventually carved out a decent supply line when the First Order initially emerged and expanded, Hux’s diet had remained relatively the same. And now despite his rank warranting him access to some of the finest food the Order had to offer, he chose not to take advantage of it, content to eat the same as he always had.

“Ren, you are planning on eating something as well, right?” Hux asked tentatively, fearing that perhaps Ren really did intend for Hux to eat all of what was set on the table by himself.

“Of course. My meal is currently in the oven. I put it in there to keep warm while I went to check on you.”

“You mean you’re not going to be eating any of this?” cried Hux, aghast.

Ren nodded. “Yes, this is for you. I’m planning on having some prime bantha steak covered in Corellian sauce with potato and veg.”

“Ah, I see…” There was no conceivable way that he could eat all of this! Not even close.

“Oh, do you want a bantha steak instead?” asked Ren, seemingly misconstruing the reason behind the worrisome look on his face, “I didn’t think your stomach would be able to handle it at the moment. But if you want, you can have mine and I’ll –”

“Stars no,” Hux interrupted, raising his hands. He couldn’t possibly imagine attempting to eat something like that right now. In truth, the only time he ate the likes of steak was during the occasional banquet senior officers attended to celebrate the First Order’s victories and conquests over their enemies. And even then, it was rare that he ever finished the steak let alone the rest of his meal. “Really, what’s here will more than do.”

“If you’re sure,” replied Ren, and if Hux wasn’t mistaken, he sounded relieved. Ren must be looking forward to the steak. It was also likely that he was hungry as well. He wondered when the last time Ren had actually -

A troublesome possibility hit Hux. “Wait. Ren, you have ate something since being here, haven’t you?” asked Hux, concerned. It was different for Hux who had been more-or-less unconscious for three cycles. But to think of Ren being awake and entirely mindful of his hunger and unable to do anything to sate it simply because didn’t wish to leave Hux’s side, would weigh down on Hux’s already considerably guilty conscience even more.

“I raided your conservator and cupboards earlier. Like I said, there wasn’t much in them but I found a couple of protein packs and ration bars. I helped myself to some,” explained Ren, before somewhat awkwardly adding, “I’m assuming that was alright?”

Internally, Hux sighed with relief. “Of course. I suppose I should have told you as such when you first arrived.” Not that he could have possibly anticipated that Ren was still going to be here three cycles later. Additionally, the notion of Ren looking through his cupboards and conservator would have been completely intolerable to him. Now, Hux was actually relieved that he had.

Ren looked amused. “It’s fine. I’m well aware that you had a lot of other things on your mind at the time.”

“That is true,” agreed Hux. Then turning his attention back to the food laid out before them, he asked, “You ordered this food from the officers kitchens I presume?” While there was an officers dining room to eat in, higher-ranking officers, if they chose, could have their meals sent directly to their quarters, something many made use of if they desired privacy or if they had a family who they wished to share mealtimes with. Given that he was content with protein packs and noodles, Hux rarely ever ventured into the officers dining room himself. He wouldn’t have been surprised whatsoever if Ren had never once set foot in it; easily envisioning Snoke’s apprentice eating his meals in solitude much like he himself did. The only difference was that Ren likely made actual use of the kitchens as was afforded by his position.

“I did,” confirmed Ren.

Hux went to nod when panic suddenly struck him. Right now he was supposed to be off-ship. If it happened to be noticed by someone other than the droids who dealt with processing orders and delivering the food then that would definitely trigger –

“Don’t worry. I didn’t order it to here,” Ren assured him, as if having read his mind, “I had the food delivered to my quarters and then I went there and brought it back. That’s why I had to leave earlier. Why I wasn’t here when you woke up.”

Hux immediately relaxed upon hearing so. He was grateful to Ren for taking such a thing into account. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help asking Ren if anyone had seen him entering his quarters. Not that anyone would dare challenge Kylo Ren of course. But it would certainly arouse suspicion even if whoever saw him was too frightened to actually tell anyone else.

“I did run into a couple of Stormtroopers in the corridor back. But I can ensure you that they won’t be telling anyone that they saw me,” Ren said, indifferently.

Hux’s eyes widened at that. “You killed them?” Surely such a thing would draw even more attention as to what Ren was doing there. Not to mention it was a horrible waste of perfectly good soldiers. That was unless they were anything like that degenerate traitor FN-2187, in which case, Ren was most definitely doing the Order a favour by disposing of them.

“What? No,” said Ren, slightly taken aback before breaking out into an amused smile, “I didn’t kill them. I simply used the Force to make them forget that they had ever crossed paths with me.”

Hux felt his cheeks flush. “Ah, yes, of course.” He had completely forgotten that Ren was capable of such things; that with his powers he was able to make those with undisciplined minds do as he bid them. At least to an extent. Still, given how volatile and temperamental Ren was, it didn’t require any stretch of the imagination to assume that Ren had just outright slaughtered them. “Well, thank you for having the foresight to erase their memory.”

“Hmm. You sound disappointed. Would you rather me have killed them? I took note of their names. It won’t be at all difficult to locate and execute them if that’s what you really wanted.”

“What? No, of course not! Don’t go about killing our own men!” cried Hux before realising that Ren was merely toying with him.

“Our own men,” Ren repeated, the amusement from his voice gone and replaced with something more contemplative.

Hux stared at him curiously. “Ren?”

Ren simply shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

Evidently Ren didn’t want to share and so Hux decided to bring the subject back to the matter at hand, “Anyway, Ren, you do realise that there’s no way that I’ll be possibly able to eat all of this.” In truth he would likely struggle to finish even a single dish. “Not that I’m ungrateful of course,” he made sure to add, “But why order so much?”

“I don’t think it’s all that much,” countered Ren, “But like I said, I wasn’t sure what you wanted and I didn’t to wake you up to ask so I figured I’d get a few dishes for you to choose from.”

“There certainly are a few…” said Hux, his eye flittering between them.

“Don’t worry, I hardly expect you to eat everything.” It was something of a relief to hear that but it didn’t change the fact that Ren had still gone a bit overboard.

“What you don’t eat just now, you should save for later,” suggested Ren, “You can finally put that barren conservator of yours to some use.” Hux wasn’t sure about that. In truth, he wasn’t particularly keen on the idea of eating leftovers, so used to eating food straight out of packets and cans to be disposed of the moment he was finished with it. Unfortunately, he also loathed waste and tossing that much food away was unacceptable to him on principal. He just hoped that he would be able to convince Ren to take at least some of it away with him when he eventually left Hux’s quarters for good; the thought of which made Hux feel rather melancholy.

He quickly pushed the thought aside, however. For now he simply needed to decide what he wanted to eat, or perhaps more appropriately, figure out which dish his uneasy stomach could best handle.

In the end, Hux decided to go with the soup knowing that it wouldn’t be too difficult for him to swallow, and while it did have some small chunks of different veg in it, it would be soft enough to chew easily.

Once he had made his decision, Ren quickly lifted the container it came in and after telling Hux he would return shortly, took it away to the kitchen to be reheated. Yet again, Hux was left feeling somewhat like a guest in his own quarters. And while he knew that he should be annoyed by Ren taking such liberties in a place which wasn’t his, to his surprise, Hux found that he didn’t mind all that much. Whether it was post-heat hormones affecting him or if he was just genuinely comfortable being in the alpha’s presence and for Ren to…well, to take care of him, Hux was unsure. But like with so much else that had happened these past few cycles, Hux chose to file it away to reflect and fret over at a later date.

With Ren having gone to the kitchen, Hux knew he should get up and attain his datapad from wherever he had placed it – he still couldn’t believe that it hadn’t been touched in three whole cycles! – but he instead found himself closing his eyes as he leant back in his chair.

The next thing he knew, the soup, the contents of which had been transferred to a bowl, was being placed in front of him by Ren. Catching a glimpse of his hand as Ren did so, Hux noticed that he had taken off his gloves, his bare hands now on show. Glancing upwards, Hux realised that Ren had also removed his robes and cowl, now stripped down to his tunic. Hux supposed it made sense. There was no point in Ren continuing to wear such heavy garments when he was going to be sitting down to eat a meal. Strangely seeing that Ren had removed his robes made Hux feel strangely pleased, as if Ren were comfortable enough with him and truly wanted to be here.

“Still feeling tired, huh?” asked Ren, causing Hux to recall that he had more-or-less being dozing just moments ago.

Hux flushed. He had been in bed for entire three cycles, how could he possibly still be tired? It was ludicrous that he was so exhausted, and yet it was true. He was positive that if he went back to bed right now that he would pass out right away.

“I’m fine. I was just momentarily resting my eyes,” Hux replied, cringing internally at how unconvincing he no doubt sounded. Thankfully, Ren didn’t comment on it, the knight instead going and taking a seat across of him.

Ren had placed most of the other food, barring the loaves of bread and condiments, onto a serving cart. Hux deduced that he must have acquired it from the droid who had originally delivered the food and that Ren had then used it to bring the food here. It must have been quite an unusual sight for the stormtroopers who had encountered Ren, to see the Supreme Leader’s terrifying dark apprentice wheeling a serving cart down the long corridors of the Finalizer. Not that those stormtroopers would remember the incident of course.

It almost made Hux disappointed that Ren had erased their memories of it. _Almost._

Hux felt the corners of his lips twitch upwards as he thought of the Stormtroopers reactions. Hux glanced over at Ren, who distracted by his own food, hadn’t appeared to notice. Hux was relieved that he didn’t have to explain his amusement over something so juvenile.

As he watched Ren, it was difficult not to take note of just how huge Ren’s plate was, it filled to the brim with potatoes and an assortment of other vegetables which were covered in a delicate sauce. The most eye-catching thing about the meal was that there smackdab in the middle must have been the hugest steak that Hux had ever seen in his entire life. As Ren carved into it, Hux couldn’t help but wonder if Ren had gotten such a large steak because of how hungry he was, having only had a couple of protein packs, or if perhaps Ren ate like this all of the time when he was aboard the ship. It would definitely help maintain his large bulk.

Hux found himself staring as Ren with slight awe as his teeth tore into the steak with complete ease. And while Ren was using utensils like any civilised being would, Hux still couldn’t help but be reminded of some wild beast. It wasn’t something he found off-putting, however; on the contrary.

It was only when their eyes met, that Hux remembered he had his own dinner currently in front of him and that he had yet to touch it.

Before Ren could question him and ask if he was alright, Hux quickly picked up the spoon. He had to admit the soup did smell rather lovely. It had a rather pleasant aroma and as he took a tentative sip, Hux let out a small appreciative moan before quickly taking another spoonful. It almost was as if his appetite had been ignited now that he had actually consumed something. Of course it could simply be that he so often ignored his hunger that it didn’t register when he actually was.

They ate in silence at first, and to Hux’s relief, it didn’t feel terribly awkward, although there was no denying the strangeness of the situation. Firstly because he never ate without his datapad in front of him, using the time he unfortunately had to spend eating in order to fuel himself, reading over and signing off on reports from different departments. And secondly, and more notably, Ren’s presence.

It wasn’t so much that it was Ren being there, but that Hux couldn’t quite remember the last time he had sat down to actually share a meal with another person. 

“Good?” asked Ren from across the table as he swallowed a mouth full of veg, Hux, meanwhile continuing to find himself oddly fascinated watching Ren eat.

He nodded. “It is. Thank you.” Whenever he did have soup, it was usually of the canned variety and as such, he had forgotten how nice it could taste when prepared properly from scratch. At least when it came actual chefs. He had never attempted to do so himself. “It’s definitely better than a ration’s bar in any case.”

Ren looked particularly pleased by this. “Here, have some bread too,” he suggested, reaching over and tearing off a small chunk off one of the loaves. He held it out to Hux. “It goes well with the broth.”

Hux stared at it uncertainly. Really the soup was more than enough, but Hux had the suspicion that if he refused, Ren would be disappointed. Deciding he didn’t want that – post-heat hormones he would again blame for such nonsense feelings – Hux took the piece offered to him.

The bread itself was soft enough that biting into it wasn’t difficult and much like the soup, Hux was surprised by how appetising it was. Rather than simply being plain and dry, it had a bit of a kick to it.

“It has some chives in it. It gives the bread more of a flavour, but not enough to be overwhelming,” explained Ren.

Hux took another bite, this time having dipped it lightly into the bowl first. “It tastes good,” said Hux, discovering that he was able to finish off the rest of the piece with relative ease. He decided he would at least save the rest of the loaf to have at a later time. Of course, this still left the rest of the food which he would need to convince Ren to take away with him. It would be wasted on himself and from watching Ren, it was clear that the alpha had a decent enough appetite that it wouldn’t go to waste. 

"And how is you food?” asked Hux, feeling that it would be rude no to ask Ren the same. It was the kind of small-talk he usually hated and avoided when possible. After all, why should he possibly care if the cadet or officer sitting across from or next to him was enjoying their meal? It had little bearing on him whether they did or not. And yet, here now, he hoped that Ren was enjoying his.

“Good,” replied Ren just as he shoved another piece of steak into his mouth, tearing at it with his teeth.

Hux squirmed a little in his seat. The fact that he found the sight borderline arousing was somewhat disturbing to him and he quickly assured himself that it was merely the post-heat hormones; that there was no possible way he would be turned on by such a thing in normal circumstances. Not that he experienced much sexual arousal at the best of times, having spent decades repressing it. 

He reminded himself that it would be over soon. In the meantime, Hux desperately hoped that his body wouldn’t produce any more slick. He had once heard that some omegas bodies continued secreting it for several days after their heats were over with. It would of course just be his luck if his traitorous body did the same thing. It really was disgusting, even if Ren hadn’t believed it so.

Now that he thought about it, it was actually a bit of a wonder that he hadn’t immediately rushed to the refresher for a shower the moment he had gotten up. It also struck him, that while he was currently sweaty, it was far from the level he would have expected given the rigorous physical activity he had been engaged in, as well as his body having burned like a furnace these past cycles. Neither had he been covered in copious amounts of slick. And while his memories were still fuzzy, he did know that he had exuded a lot of it, Ren having even commented on it several times. It didn’t make any sense.

Out the corner of his eye, Hux noticed a neat pile of towels residing on the sofa. Hux knew for a fact that he wouldn’t have left them out in such a place. Either Ren had gone and taken them out of the cupboard and deliberately placed them there or they were new ones that Ren had acquired.

“I brought some towels back here when I went to get the food as I thought you’d want some fresh ones on hand,” clarified Ren, noticing Hux staring at them.

“Oh? What was wrong with the ones I already ha –”

Suddenly the reason why struck Hux; that his own towels would have been used to help wipe away the sweat, cum and slick from both of their bodies that had accumulated over the past three cycles – although Hux had no illusion that most of it hadn’t come from him. Given that he had been incapacitated and so out of it that he struggled to remember much of his heat, it had no doubt been left entirely to Ren to clean his soiled and filthy body. 

Hux groaned, this time managing to resist the urge to shove his face in his hands. The thought of Ren holding him in his arms and manoeuvring his body however he needed to as he ran a towel all over to wipe it clean while Hux lay there helpless barely able to form a sentence filled Hux with immense shame. He wondered if there was any true end in sight for his ongoing mortification.

The bed too, Hux realised while also being infused with Ren’s scent, had been far cleaner than it should have been considering what had occurred upon the sheets. Hux deduced that Ren must have lifted him up off the bed at some point, either when he was asleep or been so unaware of his surroundings that he had no idea what was going on, and then swapped them for fresh ones.

It was humiliating, and yet Ren hadn’t said a single thing about having to tend to Hux in such a way, as if it was no big deal. Possibly to Ren it really wasn’t. Hux reminded himself that Ren had been with other omegas before. Maybe he was simply used to seeing and tending to them when they were in such pitiful and vulnerable states. While the First Order has never said a much on the subject, offering only the bare minimum when it had come to sex education, perhaps it was expected that alphas tend to omegas in such a manner during and after their heats. Nevertheless, Hux found it difficult to imagine many of the alphas he knew behaving so chivalrously.

Still, whether Ren was used to it or not, witnessing Hux in such a compromising position seemed like the perfect ammo Ren would need in order to take him down. And while he was aware that his paranoia should be at an all-time high with alarm sirens going off in his head, Hux continued to find himself believing in Ren’s genuine sincerity when it came to helping him. Hux wasn’t sure if that made him a fool or not. Although he most certainly knew that his father would consider him to be one. That and many other unsavoury things.

Hux placed the spoon down, finding his appetite had diminished.

“What’s wrong?” asked Ren, who had just finished polishing off the last of his own food.

Hux doubted that Ren would believe him if he said he was fine and so he opted for the truth. Or at least a version that didn’t involve going into too much detail.

“Nothing. I’m just trying to process everything,” answered Hux. He wasn’t sure if he would ever quite be able to. At least not all of it anyway.

“I understand,” Ren replied sympathetically, “I know it’s been a lot for you to take in.” Hux couldn’t help but cringe slightly. Although, it likely wasn’t intentional, Ren’s words held a double-meaning, the most subtle of which had been a source of great panic for him before Ren successfully knotted him for the first time.

“Ren, after last – After these past few cycles, do you think that you’ll ever be able to look at me the same way again?” Hux couldn’t help but ask despite himself.

Ren placed his knife and fork down with a kind of finality. Although whether it was because he had simply finished eating or the importance of the words he was about to say, Hux was unsure. “If I’m being honest then no, I won’t be able to.”

Hux’s heart sank at that, and he berated himself for asking such a stupid question in the first place. Of course Ren would never be able to look at him the same way. Not only was he not the beta Ren had presumed him to be these past five years, Ren had borne witness to him at his most pitiful. The fact that he was an omega aside, it would be impossible for Ren to maintain his previous image of his co-commander after what he had seen.

“I see. That…That’s understandable,” said Hux, and he truly did understand. So much so that he couldn’t possibly resent or blame Ren for it. Stars, even Hux knew that he wouldn’t be quite be able to look at himself the same way again, having suppressed to himself the fact that he was an omega for so long.

“Well, I hope this won’t affect our working relationship too much,” Hux added, knowing that it was horribly naïve of him to think that it wouldn’t have some sort of an impact.

“Of course it won’t,” said Ren, resolutely, “But Hux, when I said I won’t be able to see you the same way again, I didn’t mean it in the negative sense,”

“Oh?” Hux wasn’t sure how either of those things could possibly be true.

“In truth, I actually feel that I have a greater understanding of you now. More so than what I had before.”

Hux frowned, disappointment rising within him rather than subsiding at Ren’s no doubt well-intentioned words. Ren thought he understood him because he was an omega. Because he had seen him writhing and whining, crying from fear and then out due to his need to be knotted. In the end, that’s all Ren’s understanding boiled down to.

Yet again, Hux found himself thinking back to that girl in his class; how the second she had presented as an omega, her abilities and potential were rendered completely moot, her achievements stripped away as she was removed from the academy as if she had never even been there in the first place. The alpha she was mated to probably believed he understood her. After all, what more was there to omegas than their desire to be knotted and to reproduce? Hux couldn’t stand for Ren to think that’s all he wanted. His pride as a high-ranking General within the First Order wouldn’t allow it. That and something far more personal.

“Ren, what you’ve seen of me these past few cycles… it’s not an accurate representation of who I am. I haven’t been in my right mind. My irrational behaviour, my emotional outbursts, it’s all due to me being in heat. However, I’m still who I’ve always been. Once my heat is over with, I’ll return to my normal self. I remain more than capable of leading my men. That hasn’t changed,” Hux defended, his voice rising, not sure who he was trying to convince more; Ren or himself. “This was a onetime thing. I may be an omega but I can assure you that it won’t –”

Ren was the one who held up his hand this time, and Hux immediately shut up. “You misunderstand. I just…” Ren hesitated. “What I’m trying to say is, I have a lot more appreciation for you now that I’m aware of everything that you’ve had to go through. I realise how difficult it must have been, or rather, is, for you.”

Hux gritted his teeth. “I don’t need your pity, Ren. I’ve succeeded perfectly well throughout my life.” Ren’s hatred he could deal with, but his pity…he couldn’t stand the thought of it. The only thing that could possibly be worse was Ren to feel disgust towards him. Which given how he had to tend to Hux during his heat wiping away the sweat and slick, would be a completely understandable reaction from the alpha.

“You’ve got it all wrong. My pity isn’t the thing that I’m offering. If I pitied you then I wouldn’t be here right now,” Ren stated, frankly.

“Then what exactly is it that you’re offering me?” Hux asked, both curious and suspicious of the answer.

“My admiration. You’ve always been so closed off, so rigid and intolerant. And yet, I couldn’t help but suspect that there was more to you than what resided on the surface. And I’m not just referring to the fact that you’re an omega and have been hiding your designation all these years either. Now that I’ve gotten to spend time with you this way, I can see that there’s a great deal of emotion in there. Far more than I could have ever thought possible. I know these past few cycles haven’t been easy for you but I’ve enjoyed getting to see this side of you, so raw and emotional; so vulnerable,” admitted Ren, his voice becoming softer.

Hux scoffed. “What you really mean is you’ve enjoyed seeing me so weak”

“No. Not weak. That would be the last word I would ever attribute to you,” Ren said staunchly. “And if anyone suggested otherwise I would cut them down right where they stood.”

Hux eyes widened, somewhat taken aback by how serious Ren sounded when he said it. But just as Hux was being affected by his omega hormones, Hux was aware that Ren too was being influenced by his own alpha instincts. As much as alphas could be uncouth brutes with no regard to anything other than their own selfish desires, they could also be extremely protective of the omegas around them. Usually it came out when an omega was in physical danger or another alpha or even a beta got too close to them, but considering Ren’s overwhelming, and frankly baffling need to take care of him at present, Hux supposed it had manifested more acutely in Ren’s case. In the end, it all came down to the pheromones that Hux was secreting and as soon they started to fade, so too would Ren’s urge to tend to and protect him. 

Being emotional had always equated to weakness in Hux’s mind, but Ren didn’t appear to interpret it that way. Then again, if his angry outbursts were anything to go by, Ren was a rather emotional being himself. Of course no one would ever accuse the alpha of being weak. Certainly not when it came to physical prowess and raw power at least.

If Ren really did see him as weak, his mind had somehow managed to twist it into something else. Regardless of whether Ren truly did perceive him as such, the knight didn’t seem to consider what he had seen of Hux to be a bad thing, something which was more than a little perplexing considering he really had witnessed Hux at his most shameful.

Although Ren had admitted that he wouldn’t be able to view him the same way again, when it came down to, neither would Hux with Ren. And as Ren had pointed out, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. In the end, it was something Hux felt he could live with.

Meanwhile, Ren was just so hopelessly earnest about everything – including his perception of him – that Hux found that he couldn’t bring himself to continue arguing or try to convince Ren that he was wrong, feeling that it would be unfair.

Hux let out a resigned sigh. For now he would allow the alpha to believe what he wanted. Even if it did happen to be wrong. Hux would simply have to humour him.

“Nonsense,” said Hux, responding to Ren’s earlier declaration of cutting someone down for him, “If someone dared suggest such a thing, I would dispose of them myself. I certainly wouldn’t require you to it for me.”

Ren grinned at that. “And that fierceness is exactly why I don’t think you’re weak.”

Hux coughed. “Yes, well…”

All Hux could think was how gorgeous Ren looked when he smiled. Wanting to distract himself, Hux picked up his spoon. There was only a small amount of the soup left in the bowl anyway and so he figured that he may as well finish the rest of it. It really was delicious after all. Perhaps he would even order it himself if he happened to be feeling indulgent one cycle. That or for whatever reason he found himself wishing to recall this time spent with Ren.

Making conversation while he finished his soup, Hux asked Ren – who despite having just finished eating that huge meal, took a large chunk out of the other loaf of bread and proceeded to munch away on it – to fill him on what had been happening aboard the ship. Not expecting much from Ren’s informal report, Hux was surprised by the detail that he went into. Ren was clearly far better versed in the inner-workings of the Finalizer than Hux had originally given him credit for.

Ren hadn’t been lying when he had assured Hux that nothing of note had occurred and that things had more-or-less been business as usual. While it was definitely reassuring, paradoxically Hux couldn’t help but be slightly saddened that the First Order had managed to continue functioning perfectly without him. It was a silly thing to be disappointed about, he was aware. He should be proud of it. After all, he helped work to get it to such a pristine and efficient position. In any case, with his body returning to its normal state, Hux could be fully present when the Order was in true need of him to lead them to victory. His biology wouldn’t be allowed to stand in the way of that. 

“You should probably go back to bed and try get some more sleep,” suggested Ren. His voice caused Hux to quickly open his eyes as he realised that he had been on the very cusp of nodding off.

“Nonsense.” Hux straightened up, ignoring his embarrassment at almost falling asleep at the table once more. “I’ve been in bed for three cycles already. Any more time spent there would be appallingly self-indulgent of me,” stated Hux, even though there was nothing more he wanted to do than climb back into bed. Well, perhaps other than take a shower that was.

“It can hardly be considered indulgent when you actually need the rest,” countered Ren.

“That’s hardly the point,” Hux protested weakly, both frustrated that he had lost three cycles worth of time lying in bed and that he was somehow still exhausted. 

“Well, look at it this way, it’s after zero hundred hours which I imagine isn’t too far off when you might go to sleep for the cycle anyway. If you go to sleep now, you might be able to get up around when you usually do. That’ll help ease you back into your normal routine once you’re able to return to your duties.”

Hux frowned, hating that Ren was making a very good point. He supposed that there was no sense in forcing himself to stay up only to crash a short while later as he believed he inevitably would.

“Alright, but first I’m going to have a quick sonic,” Hux said decidedly as he stood up. Ren had done a good job making sure he hadn’t been drowning in sweat and covered in other unsavoury substances, but Hux still felt sticky and unclean. It was something only a good sonic could really erase the sensation of.

“Do you need any help?” asked Ren, following Hux’s example and getting to his feet, “I can –”

“I’ll be fine,” interrupted Hux, unsure if Ren was simply going to offer him help getting to the refresher, or if there was something else he was intending on aiding him with.

“You sure?” Ren thought Hux looked a bit disappointed, but Hux didn’t back down.

“Yes. I won’t be long.” Hux doubted that he would be able to remain standing there for much longer than five minutes anyway.

“Alright then. I’ll clean up here then,” said Ren, gesturing to the table as he picked up his plate and cutlery.

Wondering if he should tell Ren not to trouble himself about it, Hux decided to leave him be. Ren would probably insist on tidying the remnants of dinner away regardless of what Hux said, and who was he to take that away from him? Furthermore, it did give the alpha something to do while he went to shower. When he had asked during dinner, Ren told him he has spent most of his time meditating or reading reports on his own datapad during the times that Hux was asleep. For someone as mobile and physical as Ren, Hux could only imagine how bored Ren must have been. But if that was the case, he hadn’t said so and Hux suspected that he would deny it if he were.

“Here, don’t forget this,” said Ren, having gone and grabbed one of the towels from the neat folded pile on the couch.

Hux could only assume that Ren had used up all the ones he had in the cupboard tending to and making sure he was clean.

How humiliating.

Nevertheless, Hux nodded in appreciation as he took the towel from him. “Thank you. And, uh, thank you for ordering dinner for me as well. The soup was delicious.” He thought once more about having it again sometime in the future. “Anyway, it... it was very thoughtful of you.”

Before Ren got the chance to reply, Hux hurried off to the refresher, finding saying such words to be something of a struggle. Without looking at him, however, he did call back to Ren to repeat that he wouldn’t be long.

A couple of times, while in the sonic, Hux found himself almost nodding off as he leant lightly against the shower wall for support. The second time it happened, he decided that that was enough, reminding himself that he could shower for longer and more thoroughly – he would likely need at least a few sonics to feel properly cleansed anyway – after he awoke later. He just hoped that he wouldn’t become quite so easily exhausted when he next got up. In any case, in order to do that, he needed first to actually go to bed. 

And so, with his body mostly dried and his hair slightly damp, Hux pulled his black robe back on and headed out to the living area. He was surprised to find the table cleared of all the dishes and returned to its previous clear state. Hux could only presume that Ren either worked extremely fast, or that he had been in the refresher longer than he had thought, his perception of time still slightly askew.

“I put the unopened containers and the rest of the loaf in the conservator,” announced Ren as he walked in from the attached kitchenette, “There’s enough food there that it should last you at least a cycle or so.”

Hux knew it would last him far longer than that, but he never got the chance to say so, as suddenly he was hit by Ren’s scent. While his knees went slightly weak, fortunately, he was able to retain his balance. He did however place his hand on the table for support just to be on the safe side. While he didn’t find it quite as overwhelming as it once had been, it appeared that even a small amount of physical separation was enough to trigger some response when exposed to Ren’s scent again. The sonic had likely gotten rid of most of it from his skin.

He had wanted to so much to become clean that he had forgotten that he would be sacrificing Ren’s scent upon his skin in the process. He couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed. In the meantime, he wondered if it were just Ren’s or if all alphas scents would cause him such a reaction. He hoped not. Being startled every time he encountered one would get very tedious. Plus, it wouldn’t do well of someone of his position to be caught off guard constantly. And if his subordinates were to notice…

Hux already much preferred working with betas over alphas and this would only give him another reason to favour them, their scents almost completely undetectable. In the end, he supposed it was irrelevant considering that he would be back on his suppressants soon enough. As such, he wouldn’t need to worry about his nostrils suddenly being assaulted by the odours of the alphas around him. Although, he couldn’t deny that a part of him would miss being able to get a whiff of Ren’s scent.

“Are you alright?” asked Ren, seeming to have picked up on his reaction anyway.

“Thank you for tidying everything away,” said Hux, opting to ignore the alpha’s question, “You really didn’t need to.”

Ren looked like he wanted to ask again if he was okay, but he refrained, instead telling Hux that it was no problem and that he didn’t mind.

Now that Hux thought about it, an alpha doing chores like cleaning the table after a meal was far from what would be considered normal behaviour. Most alphas would balk at the very notion of doing so, believing such tasks were beneath them. It was an omegas job to do such things after all. Hux was aware that some of the alpha officers even refused the services of cleaning droids within their own quarters, reasoning that it was their omega mate’s duty to tend to all domestic tasks within the home. Whether it was a show of power over their omegas to emphasise to them their subservient role – as if they weren’t already deeply aware of it – or if it were simply to give their mates something to focus on so that they didn’t go crazy from boredom, Hux was unsure. Perhaps it was both things. It could, however, be summed up by ego and fake benevolence.

Unable to catch it in time, Hux let out small yawn. Nonetheless, he quickly raised his hand to his face to cover his mouth all the same.

Ren, meanwhile, had a strange look on his own face, one that Hux would almost describe as fondness. Not that he had experienced such an expression directed towards him before. While he was aware that Rae Sloane had something of a soft spot for him, she had always been so straight-faced, always keeping her emotions in check. It was the exact opposite of Ren.

Hux pondered whether that was the real reason the alpha wore a mask. Not only for protection and to cultivate a more frightful appearance for his enemies, but to conceal the emotions on his face for fear of giving what he was truly feeling away. Before all of this occurred, Hux never would have thought Ren capable of such varied expressions. Nevertheless, Hux was glad he got to witness them; that he was _permitted_ to see them. And he doubted that he would forget about them anytime soon.

It struck Hux that perhaps that was what Ren meant when he had said he enjoyed getting to see another side to him. Vulnerable, Ren had referred to it as. In that sense, Hux could relate. Although unlike Ren’s claim that he apparently understood him more now, for Hux it was the opposite; his perception of the alpha having all but disintegrated. Fortunately, he didn’t consider it a bad thing. He just needed to slowly build it back up again into something recognisable, and hopefully more welcoming than his old one.

“You should lie down,” said Ren, awakening Hux from his thoughts.

“Believe me, I’m planning to,” replied Hux, although he remained standing where he was, waiting for Ren to make some kind of movement. But like Hux, he remained where he was.

Hux hesitated for several long moments, before tentatively asking, “Are you coming too then?” And then awkwardly adding, “That is, to bed I mean.” 

Hux didn’t want to presume anything. While Ren had been planning on returning to bed after he had went and fetched the food that had been delivered to his own quarters, that had occurred back when Ren thought him fast asleep and still trapped within the confining haze of his heat. Now that Hux had demonstrated that he was fairly lucid, albeit somewhat sluggish, there was the chance that Ren might feel differently about climbing into bed with him. Furthermore, now that it was clear that he was in a much better state than previous, as well as having actually eaten something, Ren might choose to finally take his leave of him. 

“Of course,” answered Ren, as if it were more than obvious. Although much like the relief that he felt, Hux thought he could detect a hint of relief in Ren’s voice. Maybe Ren was just as unsure as him. Hux couldn’t deny that there was a strange sort of comfort in that, even if he did slightly wish that Ren had simply followed him to the bedroom without him having to ask.

Hux nodded. “Alright then.” And without waiting for a response, he turned and walked towards the bedroom.

While making his way to bed, Hux paused in front of the dresser, staring down at the drawer where he kept his nightwear specifically. He didn’t ever wear his robe to bed, meaning that when he removed it just now, he would be getting into bed naked. And while he may have been sharing a bed with Ren nude for several cycles now, things had changed. Or at least, they were beginning to. As such, Hux wondered if it would be better if he were to pull on some pajamas.

However, as he pondered it over, Ren walked into the room, his presence while not unexpected, startling Hux, nonetheless.

“Are you alright?” asked Ren, concerned.

“Fi-Fine!” cried Hux before quickly moving away from the dresser and towards the bed.

Hux supposed the decision had been made for him. Although admittedly there was nothing stopping him from wearing his robe to bed if he really wanted to. Nevertheless, Hux went ahead and undid his robe. He was going to be covered by the bedsheets. Ren wouldn’t be able to see him. Not that he hadn’t already, of course.

Once in bed, Hux quickly pulled the covers up over himself. And glancing back over to Ren, Hux saw that he was following suit with him and taking off his clothes as well. It was difficult for Hux to believe that he had shared a bed with someone with such a powerful and muscular body; that he had actually been embraced by it. Ren had been able to move him around so easily, as if he weighed nothing at all.

Hux felt his dick twitch slightly both at the memory of as well as the sight before him.

After his eyes lingered briefly on Ren’s cock, Hux quickly looked away before Ren noticed him staring. He didn’t think Ren would mind but nevertheless, it would be awkward to be caught peaking.

As he waited, it hit Hux suddenly that by choosing to climb into bed naked, he might have inadvertently given the alpha the wrong impression about his intentions; that Ren might think that he was either expecting or inviting Ren to knot him again. And while, his initial panic aside, it had been rather pleasant – well more than that – he felt himself too exhausted to go through it again. At least not right now. All he really wanted was to go back to sleep and hope that the next cycle he was feeling more refreshed. And if Ren happened to remain by his side for the duration of the evening, well, then that was even better.

Pulling the covers back, Ren climbed into bed and shuffled towards Hux who had remained lying on his back, the sheets pulled up to just below his chin. Just as Ren went to place his arm over Hux’s chest, Hux tensed up. Either feeling or seeing Hux do so, Ren immediately drew his hand back. Out of the corner of his eye, Hux saw what appeared to be disappointment, or perhaps even hurt on the alpha’s face. Of course, he would be, thought Hux. After everything Ren had done for him, for him to have that sort of reaction was awful.

“I’m sorry!” Hux blurted out, quickly turning over onto his side so he was facing Ren, “It’s not that I…I’m just very tired is all. So, I’m not sure if I’d be able to…well, to take you at present.” Perhaps it was a poor justification given the state that he had been in during the previous times Ren had taken him. Back then, however, being knotted was all his body had craved for despite the misgivings going on in his mind at the time. But now both his body and brain were in synch, and what they sought was rest. “Ren, I’m –”

“Hey, it’s fine,” interrupted Ren before Hux got the chance to apologise again, “I know that you’re exhausted. I wouldn’t have expected you to want to do anything like that right now. Uh, not that I would have minded, if you did, of course. But you need to recover. That’s the most important thing, right?”

Hux instantly relaxed. While he was thankful that Ren hadn’t actually been anticipating sex from him, he found himself primarily relieved that Ren wasn’t mad or disappointed with him.

“Thank you,” said Hux. Stars, the amount of times he had said those words to Ren was ridiculous. Hux wasn’t sure who was worse, him with his ‘thank you’s’ or Ren who was continuingly apologising to him. For now however, Hux believed that he was currently in the lead. He wondered if Ren was aware of his constant apologies and Hux’s immense gratitude, and if like him, he was keeping track of their uncharacteristic sentiments towards each other.

“You don’t need to thank me,” murmured Ren. 

“Maybe so, but I’m appreciative nonetheless.” Ren gave him a small smile.

Hux noted that Ren hadn’t made any kind of move to try and touch him again, perhaps thinking that Hux didn’t want it. Such a thing couldn’t be further from the truth. And for what might have been the first time since all of this began, Hux decided to take some initiative. Pulling the covers down to his chest, he shuffled closer to Ren and arranged himself so that he was pressed neatly against the alpha’s chest, his forehead resting in the crook of Ren’s neck. Ren’s breathing stilled, it finally being his turn to be the one surprised. It didn’t last long however, as a moment later he was slinging an arm around Hux. Ren then slid the other arm underneath him until both where wrapped around and embracing him. It was a comforting weight and Hux’s breath hitched as he felt Ren’s nose brush lightly against his ear. 

“Is this okay?” asked Ren, despite Hux having been the one who had cuddled into Ren. Perhaps Ren feared that he was forcing Hux to act this this way.

“Yes, very much,” replied Hux, eager to let Ren know that he was content with the position, “And I’m sure that I’ll sleep much more soundly like this, with you here.” Hux had no real experience of ever having shared a bed with someone before, and really he should loathe the invasion of his space, but it was true that he had slept well enough these past three cycles, and being here like this was rather cosy, intimate even. Perhaps he was being naïve, but a part of him wanted to believe that it wasn’t solely due to being in heat and his fatigue; that Ren’s presence had also had some effect on his ability to sleep so soundly.

“Oh, the lights,” said Hux, dismayed and disappointed with the knowledge that one of them would have to break their embrace and get out of the bed to switch them off. Fortunately, his assumption turned out to be wrong.

“I’ve got it,” answered Ren, and with a small wave of his hand, the lights turned off. Hux found it interesting and somewhat amusing to know that while primarily wielding it to crush his enemies, Ren’s mystical powers could also be used for simple and mundane things as well. Ren no doubt took both for granted.

Now under the cloak of darkness, Hux started to properly relax. “You still smell wonderful,” he said almost dreamily as he exhaled softly, burrowing his face further against Ren’s neck. This was the last time he would ever get to smell Ren. At least his alpha pheromones. Unfortunately, the smell of the filth that Ren often dragged onto the Finalizer after returning from a planet-side mission would remain. In any case, Hux intended on taking advantage of getting to savour Ren’s scent one final time. It was also his last chance to tell Ren he thought it wonderful and so he had.

“So do you,” Ren replied, unexpectedly.

“I do?”

“Of course you do.”

“Oh.”

“You seem surprised by this.”

“I suppose because I’m no longer in that…well, particular stage of my heat, I assumed that my scent would no longer be quite so appealing to you,” Hux admitted. While he was aware that it wasn’t only during or just before an omega’s heat that alphas found their scents enticing, it was nevertheless, the period when alpha’s were most affected by it. 

“That’s not true. You’re scent isn’t as strong as it was before and while it’s different compared to when I was knotting you, it still smells incredible.” Hux couldn’t help but preen a little at that. It was stupid of course. It wasn’t like it was something he had any control over and thus could take credit for. Nevertheless, it felt good to hear. “Honestly, I could lose myself in it,” Ren continued, burying his nose in Hux’s hair, “It’s so intoxicating. So sweet.”

“So is yours,” said Hux. Although, while definitely intoxicating, Ren’s own scent was more musky than sweet.

Ren hummed, appearing as equally as pleased as Hux.

A part of Hux thought about telling Ren that he would miss his scent when he started taking his suppressants again; that he would miss it when he finally stopped being an omega and returned to masquerading as a beta. He refrained however, not wanting to ruin the pleasantness of the moment. For now, he would relish in it.

“I still can’t believe that I was your first,” Hux heard Ren say several minutes later. Just on the cusp of falling asleep, Hux distantly wondered if Ren was talking about being the first alpha to knot him, referring to the fact that he had taken Hux’s virginity, or both.

“I’m glad that it was you,” mumbled Hux. For Hux it was both things he was grateful for. Admittedly, it would have been better if the circumstances which had led to it could have been different. Less stressful for starters. But he remained thankful that it was Ren he had shared it with. 

Ren pressed a kiss to the top of Hux’s head. He wasn’t sure if Ren said anything after that, as moments later he descended into a peaceful, or daresay an even blissful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise immensely for the fact that this is 90k+ already and that there has been very little smut other than the previous chapter. I have an unfortunate tendency to ramble on in my writing and ultimatelty I love the soft and emotions so I focus on that. There will be more smut later on however, I promise. 
> 
> As always, thank you immensely for reading. And if you have the time, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. 
> 
> Feel free to poke me on [tumblr](https://yanyangire.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/yangiretrash).


	9. Chapter 9

Blearily, Hux opened his eyes as he felt something – or rather someone – gently shaking his shoulder.

“Ren?” he murmured, still half-asleep as he glanced up to see Ren currently knelt on the bed looming over him. The last thing Hux remembered was having fallen asleep curled up into Ren’s chest, something which was obviously no longer the case. It took Hux a further few moments to realise that barring his helmet and possibly his boots – which Hux couldn’t currently see from where he lay – Ren was fully dressed.

“I’m sorry for waking you,” said Ren, apologetically.

“What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” asked Hux, immediately panicking as he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

“No, everything’s fine,” Ren quickly assured, giving Hux’s shoulder a soft squeeze. Ren was wearing his gloves now as well, Hux noted. “It’s just that I need to be somewhere, and I thought I should let you know that I have to leave. I didn’t want you to wake up and find me gone again.”

Hux pulled the covers up to his chest, remembering that unlike Ren, he was still naked. Not that he really had anything to hide by this point. Hux was about to thank Ren for waking him only to be struck by a sudden thought. “Ah, well, thank – Oh stars. I haven’t been a sleep for another three cycles have I?” he questioned, truly dreading the answer. Ren, thankfully, shook his head.

“Don’t worry. You’ve only been asleep for a little over eight hours.” Hux still considered that too long a length of time to be asleep for but he would definitely take it over three whole cycles.

He let out a small sigh. “Well, that’s certainly a relief.

“Although I do fear that if you hadn’t woken me up just now, I may have remained sleeping for that long again,” he couldn’t help bemoaning.

“I doubt you would have, but nevertheless, you should sleep for long as you need to ensure that you properly recover.” Ren was beginning to sound like Doctor Fahey again.

Hux snorted. “I think I’ve slept quite enough for now,” he said, unable to suppress the yawn that came out the moment he had finished speaking.

Ren grinned. “Oh shut up,” muttered Hux, “My body’s simply waking up is all.” Hux often found himself yawning after just awaking. Usually there was no one else around to find amusement in it, however.

Ren chuckled. “It’s really cute, you know.”

Hux spluttered at that before quickly glaring at him. “It certainly is not!” he protested, “Anyway, didn’t you say that you had somewhere to be?”

The grin on Ren’s face disappeared at that. “Yes, I do.” Hux immediately regretted pointing it out. Both for the change in Ren’s expression as well as the fact that he very much didn’t want Ren to leave. At least not yet anyway. But considering that he had already taken up what amounted to four cycles worth of Ren’s time, to ask or even want more, was inconceivably selfish of him.

“I would stay longer if I could but my Master requires me,” said Ren, once again sounding apologetic.

Hux stilled at that. “The Supreme Leader?” It had been awhile since he had had any direct contact with Snoke himself. And while it was definitely fortunate that Snoke hadn’t requested his presence during these past several cycles, if it turned out that he had to go the Supremacy right now, the timing would still be awkward. After all, he hadn’t yet spoken to Doctor Fahey about it being safe for him to return to duty without attracting attention due to his scent. And while he could possibly fool the ships alphas with some pheromone concealing deodorant, Snoke would likely be able to sense that something was amiss in him. If he discovered that the General was an omega, then his career, and undoubtably his life itself, would be over.

“I see. Is everything alright? asked Hux, trying to keep his voice steady, “Does Leader Snoke require my presence as well?”

“No. Leader Snoke reached out to me directly through the Force. He has a mission for me to carry out.”

“Ah,” said Hux, finding himself both relieved and disappointed. Not having to interact with Snoke right now was unquestionably in his best interests but he couldn’t quite quell that feeling of anxiety when Ren alone was summoned to Snoke’s side with his own input being ignored.

“The mission requires my knights as well,” Ren continued, “My master didn’t relay any of the details to me so I have to depart for the Supremacy immediately and find out the specifics of the mission before I go retrieve them.”

That made Hux feel slightly better. Most of the time when the Knights of Ren were called upon, it was to aid in something that needed to be handled covertly or some nonsensical Force-related issue separate from the infinitely more important operations that the First Order military were engaged in.

“I see. Well, then, I suppose you shouldn’t linger here any longer. Leader Snoke, as you know, does not like to be kept waiting,” said Hux, trying to hide his unjustified disappointment of Ren having to leave.

Ren, meanwhile, seemed as disappointed as Hux, doing nothing, or at least very little, to hide that fact. “I suppose you’re right. I wish I could remain longer. You know, just to make sure you’re really okay.”

Hux gave him a small smile. “I believe you’ve been here long enough already as it. And I’m feeling much better now. I think my heat is finally over.” Hux knew that acknowledging such a thing should give him far more relief than it actually did. After all, with his heat behind him, he could return to duty, ignore that he was actually an omega and put the whole fiasco behind him. And yet there was something stopping him from fully embracing it.

“As I’m not aware of the details of the mission, I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone for. So, there’s a chance that it’ll be a while before I next see you again,” said Ren, sounding rather remorseful.

Ren’s missions often varied in length. Some were relatively swift, in which he returned within in a single cycle or two, while others occasionally kept the knight away for weeks, if not months on end. Hux used to relish the peace and quiet those times brought as well as having complete access to Snoke without Ren’s interference. But something told him that he wouldn’t be feeling quite the same way this time round. 

Really, Hux couldn’t afford to miss Ren. It was important to have things go back to normal as quickly as possible, especially given the situation the First Order was presently in thanks to the wretched Resistance. Really, the fact that Ren was going to be gone for a while should be a good thing.

“Yes, well, as I said, my heat appears to be over with now, so I won’t be requiring your assistance any longer,” retorted Hux, unable to hold back airing his frustration, even if it was directed entirely at himself.

“I realise that, but –”

“You needn’t concern yourself anymore. I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.” 

A look of hurt spread across Ren’s face at Hux’s words.

“Okay,” Ren said simply. Hux turned his face away from him, his gaze focusing down on his lap.

“Right. Well, I’ll be taking my leave now then,” announced Ren as he climbed up off of the bed.

“I wish you luck on your mission,” replied Hux, clutching the bedsheets tighter, his gaze still directed downwards.

“You should eat something soon,” instructed Ren, dejectedly, “There’s plenty of leftover food in the conservator from last night. It shouldn’t take too long for to heat any of it up.”

Hux didn’t reply and with a sigh, Ren turned and left the room.

Hux’s resolve all but crumpled as he looked up and was greeted with Ren’s retreating back,. Quietly cursing himself, Hux quickly got to his feet. Grabbing his robe, he awkwardly pulled it on as he rushed out of the bedroom after him.

“Ren wait!” Hux cried. Ren who by this point had just been about to put his helmet on, paused, lowering it slightly as he turned back to look at him.

Hux legs felt slightly shaky but he found that for the most part, he was able to stand up alright.

“What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” Ren asked, his voice laced with concern in spite of how rude and callous Hux had just been to him just moments before.

“Yes, I…” Hux paused, feeling hesitant and not entirely sure what to say. He was absolutely horrible at this sort of thing, but he couldn’t afford to keep silent, especially as he wasn’t sure how long Ren would be away for. That aside, even with Ren present, he probably wouldn’t get another chance like this.

Yes, when Ren walked out that door, things would be different. Things would soon be back to normal.

“I just wanted to thank you. For everything that is. Honestly, Ren, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be standing here right now. Either I would be suffering horribly or…” He trailed off, still finding it hard to believe that he might have died simply from going into heat, something billions of beings went through every day. “Either way, I owe you a great debt, Ren. And I intend to pay it back the best I can.”

“Uh, I’d feel more comfortable if it was a favour you owed me rather than a debt,” Ren replied, appearing oddly uncomfortable. Hux thought that they amounted to the same thing, but perhaps there was a difference between the two in the New Republic?

From what Hux could gather, as much as Ren supported the First Order’s views, he had never been able to completely shed the New Republics ideologies he had acquired from having grown up there. 

“Anyway, I told you already that I was happy to be able to help you. And it’s not like I didn’t get anything out of it either.”

“Maybe so, but it would be completely remiss of me not to give you a proper thank you, which I realise, much to my shame, that I never did.”

“You actually thanked me a lot last night if I recall,” Ren countered, lightly. While it was true that Hux had thanked him, most of it had been in reference to the other things Ren had done for him since showing up at his quarters, such as acquiring food for him and remaining by his side for so long when he hadn’t needed to. Thus far however, Hux had yet to properly thank Ren for essentially saving his life. 

“I thanked you but not in the way that I should have done. For that I apologise,” said Hux, “And I apologise for my rudeness just there as well. It was uncalled for. I suppose my hormones aren’t quite back to normal yet,” he added with an awkward laugh. It was a weak and cringeworthy excuse but thankfully Ren seemed to accept it.

“I understand. I didn’t mean to imply that you couldn’t take care of yourself. It’s just after everything, it’s difficult for me not be worried about you.”

“You’re concern is appreciated,” replied Hux, once again hating how formal he sounded.

“Ren, I hope that I count on your discretion. If anyone in the Order were to discover the truth; that I’ve been hiding the fact that I’m an omega for all this time then…” Hux trailed off.

“I promise I won’t say anything. You have my word. Although perhaps…” Ren stopped, it appearing to be his turn to trail off.

“Yes?”

Hux never got the answer, however, Ren shaking his head. “It’s nothing.”

“Well, I suppose, I should let you be on your way then,” said Hux after several moments, not wanting to pester Ren by enquiring to hard, “As I said, it isn’t good to keep Leader Snoke waiting, and I imagine you’ve already taken more time than usual in getting ready to leave what with having to wake me first. For that I apolo –”

Hux didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence, as before he realised what was happening, Ren had made his way towards him and was now pulling him into an embrace. 

“Re-Ren!” Hux spluttered, surprised by the sudden contact. However, a moment or so later he found himself practically melting against the alpha.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to do this one last time before I left,” said Ren, his arms wrapped around Hux.

Once last time. Yes. This would be the final time that Ren held him like this. In which case, he should take the time to properly enjoy it. Although hadn’t he thought that last night as well?

Oh well, he should take the chance to enjoy it while he still could and so he inhaled Ren’s scent, finding it just as comforting as he had done the very first time.

After a few minutes – feeling like only a matter of seconds to Hux – Ren unravelled his arms from around him.

“I’m sorry. I need to leave now,” Ren said in a way that made it sound more like he had committed some grievous crime.

“Don’t apologise, Ren. I’m sure your mission will serve the First Order after all. As such, there’s nothing to be sorry for,” Hux said, encouragingly.

“Oh? You really believe my mission will serve the Order?” Ren asked amused, no doubt aware of what Hux usually thought about his missions.

“I do,” Hux said staunchly before backtracking slightly, “Well, in its own way, I suppose…”

Ren chuckled. And to Hux it was a gorgeous sound. Hux had never cared for the sound of laughter before, amusement of any kind so devoid in his own life both growing up and even now. Nonetheless, he couldn’t help but take pleasure in the sound of Ren’s.

“From you, I’ll take that as a great compliment,” said Ren, looking and sounding much happier than when he had left the bedroom. “I’ll see you when I return, General Hux.” 

“I wish you luck in your mission, Lord Ren,” replied Hux, automatically reverting to a more a more formal form of address.

With that, Ren left, and within minutes, Hux felt an emptiness come over him as he stood there staring at the door.

Instead of getting on with his day right away as he had intended after awaking this cycle, Hux found himself climbing back into bed instead. He shuffled over to the side that Ren had occupied earlier where the alpha’s scent mostly lingered and where Hux had fallen asleep curled into him. Hux reassured himself that he would get up shortly; that thirty more minutes would be permittable. Ren had encouraged him to take it easy after all.

Once he had rested a bit more, he would arrange to see Doctor Fahey. But for now, he just wanted things to last a little bit longer. No one could begrudge him that, could they?

And so, gently inhaling Ren’s scent, Hux closed his eyes, imagining that he was still pressed up against him.

In the end, those thirty extra minutes in bed, had inadvertently morphed into several more hours. Whether he was still simply that exhausted and needed additional time to recover or if Ren’s lingering scent was just that alluring enough to keep him confined to bed, Hux didn’t know. He would definitely need to cut down on how long he slept the next few weeks to make up for those wasted hours. Or more accurately, wasted cycles. Nevertheless, Hux couldn’t help feeling somewhat ashamed that he wasn’t bothered by it as much as he undoubtedly should have been. He was positive that Ren’s presence played a major part of it. And this was even in spite of the blank spots in his memory which resulted in a good chuck of their time together being missing.

Nevertheless, while he had never cared much about having never slept with another person before, Hux supposed he could now claim, if only to himself, that he had gotten the chance to be intimate with someone at least once – or rather multiple times now – in his life. That it happened to be with Kylo Ren of all people was the icing on the cake. Not that he regretted it. Not at all. He was glad that he had chosen Ren and that in turn, the alpha had accepted.

Eventually, Hux got up out of bed. And it was with a good deal of reluctance that he went for a shower. While looking forward to being properly clean, his hesitancy came about from knowing that bathing would mean that Ren’s scent would be erased from his skin permanently. He wouldn’t be climbing back into bed with Ren as he had last time he showered, after all. But alas, having already called for Fahey, there was nothing to be done about it. Hux certainly didn’t wish to face the doctor while smelling like Ren when he examined him, given that as head physician, Fahey would undoubtably have some familiarity with the knight. And while it was rather unlikely that the beta would actually be able pick up Ren’s scent from him, Hux thought it best to be safe rather than sorry.

Additionally, despite only recently being able to detect the scents of alphas and other omegas, Hux couldn’t help suspecting that Ren’s pheromones were far more potent than that of other alphas considering that the first time he had gotten a whiff of Ren’s scent he had almost collapsed. In any case, he found it difficult to believe that he would have quite as strong a reaction to anyone else. 

With that in mind, Hux climbed into the shower, making sure to thoroughly lather himself all over with plenty of pheromone-blocking soap.

Once out, Hux hadn’t needed to wait long before Fahey showed up outside his quarters.

“General Hux,” greeted Fahey, saluting his commanding officer once Hux had summoned him inside. Behind Fahey, trailed a med-droid, it’s purpose no doubt to aid in his examination purpose in lieu of him not being able to attend medbay in person. Knowing that currently he couldn’t risk going there, it made Hux desperately look forward to being able to walk around the ship with nothing to fear. The fact that the ship was his own only served to add insult to injury. 

“Did anyone see you on your way here?” questioned Hux, unable to refrain from asking the doctor right away.

“No. Sir, I was very careful,” answered Fahey, Hux having emphasised before he had left, that the physician should use the utmost discretion when making his way to his quarters. “I did see a few Stormtroopers about five minutes back, but I’m rather sure that they would have no idea as where I would be heading.” Neither would they have asked, it not being a Stormtroopers place to question such things.

Hux just barely managed to contain a sigh of relief at hearing this. The good doctor, unlike Ren, did not possess the power to alter someone’s memories and so it was reassuring to know he didn’t have to worry.

“General, I must say, you appear to be much better than what I would have expected given the high levels of toxins in your blood just several cycles ago,” said Fahey, sound genuinely impressed as they waited for the med-droid to give the results of Hux’s bloodwork that it was currently in the process of analysing.

“Is it safe to assume that you found someone to share your heat with here aboard the ship?”

Hux who was now sat on his couch tensed ever so slightly, very much disliking the notion of discussing such a thing with anyone barring Ren himself. And even then, Hux wasn’t entirely comfortable openly talking about it.

“I – Yes. I was able to find someone,” Hux answered somewhat stiffly. Surely such a thing should be evident.

“I was positive that you wouldn’t have any trouble doing so, General,” said Fahey, pleased, “In any case, it’s certainly a relief.”

“Yes, I was very fortunate,” murmured Hux, wondering how much longer it would take to get the results back.

“If they still happen to be present and are willing, then it might be beneficial for you to spend more time together, both in general proximity and to engage in further physical intimacy. This will help ensure that –” Hux swiftly held up his hand causing Fahey to quickly shut his mouth.

“Doctor, while I do appreciate the great discretion you’ve displayed over this matter, who it was that I shared my heat with and if they are still currently around is frankly none of your business,” Hux stated coolly. The unknown length of how long Ren would be gone for aside, Hux did not appreciating the overly familiar manner that Fahey was addressing him.

“Of course not, sir!” cried Fahey, both looking and sounding aghast, “I didn’t mean to pry into your personal affairs or to suggest that –”

This time, Hux did sigh, albeit from exasperation. “All I wish to know is if I’m fit enough to return to duty at present or not,” explained Hux, both to put the focus back on the matter at hand and to let Fahey off the hook, regardless of his own frustration about being spoken to in such a way. He may have apologised to Ren earlier but he didn’t intend on making a habit of it, particularly when it came to his subordinates, which Fahey, doctor or not, most certainly was. A level of separation was always recommended.

“Yes, quite. I, um, do apologise General for any offence that I’ve caused you. The results of you bloodwork should only take a few more minutes.”

“Let me just check your vitals once more in the meantime,” suggested Fahey, more than likely so as to have something to focus on and stave off his discomfort as they waited. It occurred to Hux that given his position, the physician probably wasn’t used to being chastised. Nevertheless, a good level of professional was required.

Not that Hux’s own behaviour these past few cycles could be considered civilised let alone professional…

After a few slightly awkward minutes in which Hux’s attention was primarily centred on his datapad, Fahey announced, much to Hux’s relief, that both his bloodwork and vitals, while not entirely back to their regular levels, were of little cause for concern. The doctor did, however, suggest that Hux should take another cycle or two off to allow both further recovery and for his body to continue to adjust to its post-heat state.

While Hux believed himself to be fine, he supposed one more cycle away from the bridge and his office wouldn’t kill him. In the meantime, he could use his datapad and the computer in his quarters to catch up on things. It would also allow him time to make arrangements concerning the ‘return of his shuttle’ from his so-called mission so as not to arouse suspicion of his absence amongst the bridge officers.

“I presume that I can start using my suppressants now that my heat is over with?” said Hux expectantly, buttoning up his uniform tunic, having changed into it shortly before Fahey arrived. He had irrationally decided that he wanted Ren to be the last person to have seen him wearing his robe. But on a more rational note, he had chosen to wear his uniform to make it clear to Fahey that the results of his test aside, he was more than ready to return to work.

“Actually, I would recommend not using to them again right away if possible,” Fahey replied hesitantly, clearly concerned about angering his superior again.

Hux frowned. “Oh?”

“Ah, yes. I believe it would be best if you gave your body some time to reacclimatise itself so it can return to a more natural cycle. It should be advantageous for you in the long run. Perhaps if you allowed yourself to go through at least another heat cycle before taking them again…” Fahey trailed off, likely expecting another reprimand.

“I’m afraid, doctor, that such a thing is completely out of the question,” said Hux, getting to his feet, “I’ve already spent far too much time away from my duties as it is. Furthermore, I do not intend to go through something like that again nor rely on another to help me do so.” As much as he was appreciative of Ren’s help, he was still ashamed of what he had been reduced to and for Ren to have witnessed it.

“With all due respect, sir, you might not have a choice,” replied Fahey, unthinkingly. Hux shot him a look to which Fahey immediately closed his mouth. But after a few moments, he started speaking again, backtracking ever so slightly. “Ah, however, provided we continue to regularly monitor your hormone levels and the dosage of your suppressants, then things should be manageable. I don’t foresee your body going through such an adverse heat again, at least not to the same extent.”

“Good. I would hate to think that I went through all of that for....” Hux paused, having been about to say, ‘for nothing’. But no, that wasn’t quite right. He would have gone into heat whether he had wanted it or not. He had had no choice in the matter. Additionally, it had helped him to see Ren in a whole new light. And while he didn’t at all understand Ren in this new one, he much preferred this version of Ren to the one he had once held in such contempt. Of course, how this new version of Ren would behave around him now that his heat was over with, remained to be seen, Ren having already confirmed that it would be impossible to see Hux the same way he had before. Although much like Hux seeing him in a new light, Ren had also said he considered it a good thing.

“While I’m not willing to forgo taking suppressants any longer, I shall continue to heed your advice and recommendations when it comes to my health and take it under consideration going forward,” Hux relented. Yes, even if he didn’t care for the things that Fahey told him, it wouldn’t be prudent to simply dismiss his advice out of hand. Denial would get him nowhere. Any commander worth their salt knew that, and Hux was a damn good one at that. Moreover, when it came down to it, Fahey had been correct in his suggestion that spending his heat with an alpha would help him return to normal. And more importantly, stop something horrible from happening to him. Had Hux not followed his advice, he wouldn’t be speaking with the man as he was right now.

“I am appreciative for both your help and discretion in this delicate matter, Doctor Fahey,” thanked Hux as he led the doctor to the door, the med-droid, once more following behind. Just like last time, Fahey assured him that the droid’s memory would be wiped. As such, there would be no record of any of this. The only ones who would know that Hux had gone through a heat and that he wasn’t truly a beta, would be Fahey, Hux himself, and now Ren.

“Thank you, General. I am truly happy to be able to serve both you and the First Order in any way I can,” said Fahey resolutely with a salute.

When he was in a better mindset, Hux would need to do something to thank the doctor for his service, even if it could be argued that Fahey was simply doing his duty.

No. That wasn’t correct. Fahey was going out of his way to cover for him after all. Whether he feared that Hux would have him executed if he told anyone was irrelevant. Hux, however, believed that not to be the case, sensing genuine admiration from the doctor.

As he was leaving, Fahey advised that in addition to getting plenty of rest, that Hux should make sure to eat regularly and decent portions at that, in order to ensure that his body got all the proper nutrients it needed. Hux thought it somewhat patronising to be reminded of something so obvious that even a child would be aware of it but given that he had been surviving on ration bars and protein packs for so long, perhaps the doctor wasn’t entirely incorrect in doing so. Ren would likely agree with Fahey on the subject considering the light scolding he had received from the alpha about not having properly stocked up on food before his heat. Of course, Ren had subsequently apologised to him for not being aware of the basics of preparing for ones heat since Hux had never actually gone through one himself before.

It was because of such a reminder, that Hux remembered all the leftovers – or rather the untouched food from last night – currently sitting in his conservator. He had been fully intending on insisting that Ren take most of it away with him, aware that he would struggle to eat the bulk of it. But with Ren no longer aboard the ship, such a thing was no longer an option.

Hux judged that if Ren returned within a cycle or two, there was still the possibility of convincing him to take away what was left to eat himself. Hux had a strong suspicion, however, that Ren would refuse the offer, arguing something along the lines of, ‘No, I got this food for you,’ and ‘You need to make sure to eat it all so that you’ll recover and get your strength back.’

Hux couldn’t help but smile a little at that. It was both infuriating and touching in equal measures. Infuriating as he now had all that food sitting there which he would have to attempt to eat so that it didn’t go to waste, but conversely, it was touching in that it was nice to be taken care of in such a way for once in his life, even if it was wholly unnecessary.

Or unnecessary for the most part anyway. Hux would admit, given the state he had been in, Ren’s concern wasn’t entirely unfounded.

After two weeks of almost no appetite – which to be fair, wasn’t in itself unusual for him – Hux found himself feeling slightly peckish and so headed to the kitchen and went to the conservator. It was a bit of a surprise being hungry already given that he had eaten a decent amount – by his standards anyway – the night before. He ended up choosing the container with porridge in it, knowing that like the soup had been, it would be easy enough for him to eat.

After heating it up and transferring the contents to a small bowl, for the second time since acquiring his father’s old quarters for himself, Hux went and sat down at the table that he and Ren shared, taking the same seat as he had before. However, without someone else there, or rather without Ren, he quickly grew uncomfortable. He also became rather conscious about how unnatural it was for him to be sitting there in the first place. As such, it wasn’t long before he got up and moved to his desk instead, bringing the porridge along with him.

With a sigh, Hux realised that he had left his as-of-late very neglected datapad in the other room. Having found himself overcome with a sudden bout of fatigue and dizziness from simply walking across the room – Fahey having explained to him earlier that this side-effect would likely to occur for the next week or so – Hux was unable to bring himself to stand back up and go fetch it.

While the porridge like the soup was easy enough to swallow, Hux discovered that it didn’t taste nearly as nice as the soup had done. While likely to be a simple case of personal preference, he found eating it to be a something of a chore. Whether it was because he was lacking something to occupy himself with – or rather someone – Hux wasn’t sure.

He sighed, realising that for the first time in a very long time, he actually felt lonely; an emotion Hux thought he had completely eradicated from within himself countless years ago, back when he was still a cadet. A child even.

“This is why you should never allow yourself to get close to others,” Hux said out loud to himself, as he pushed his chair away from his desk and stood up. He went and laid down once again on the bed. It had probably gotten more use in the past several cycles than it normally would over the span of two weeks.

For Hux, learning to keep an emotional distance from others was probably the only good thing that came about from him being an omega. While many, if not most, would question how such a thing could in any way be seen to be positive, it meant that he never got attached to people and subsequently wasn’t distracted by the emotions that came with being connected to them. He could focus on what really mattered such serving the First Order and advancing his career. Not being distracted by such things was part of the reason why he had gotten to the rank of General at what most would consider to be a relatively young age.

But having been forced to rely upon Ren and allowing himself to become emotionally intimate with him as well as physical, Hux now found himself already missing the man when he had scarcely been gone half a cycle thus far.

Hux reminded himself that he was simply suffering the lingering effects of being in post-heat, that as soon as his hormone levels started to properly stabilise, he would be back to his normal self. The intensity of his feelings would lessen, and he could return to being unaffected by his emotions. More than likely, it would be the same for Ren as well. After all, alphas attitudes and behaviour towards an omega in heat often differed greatly compared to omegas who weren’t, what with them being so easily influenced by pheromones. Hux’s observations from a far revealed that one minute, alphas could be cold and scathing and the next, protective and frighteningly possessive. While Ren had surprised him massively in his divergence from the behaviour Hux had expected from him, it didn’t change the fact that Ren like him, would have been influenced both by his scent and the situation they found themselves in.

In any case, it was important for Hux to put all of what had occurred these past few cycles behind him and focus on returning to normalcy. He required all his wits about him if he were going to hunt down and eradicate the Resistance once and for all, something he couldn’t do by lying about and moping. And so, pressing his face down into the pillow, Hux inhaled the lingering scent there once last time before getting to his feet and removing all of the bedding.

“Incinerate all of this, including the mattress,” Hux had ordered the cleaning droids who he had summoned to his quarters shortly after.

Watching the droids discreetly take it all away, Hux assured himself that it was for the best that he put all of this behind him. He had been planning on getting rid of it, anyway, tainted as it was by all the slick that had oozed out of him during the throes of his heat. There was no way he could bring himself to sleep upon something so filthy, clean sheets or not.

“Thank you, Ren,” Hux said softly to him. He wouldn’t forget about how Ren had helped him, but he couldn’t afford to dwell on it either.

And so, with both sadness and a renewed and determined resolve, Hux went on to arrange the return of his shuttle so that he could finally resume his duties. The Order needed him. And it was the only thing that Hux would ever need in his life as well. Or at least, that’s what he tried telling himself.

A seed of doubt had been planted, and now he was no longer sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about this chapter being shorter than usual. It seemed like a good place to end it (even if it's kind of a downer). On the bright side, the next chapter is pretty much written already so it won't be too long before it's posted. 🙂
> 
> Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments are always appreciated. 😊
> 
> Feel free to poke me on [tumblr](https://yanyangire.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/yangiretrash).


	10. Chapter 10

Rather than only a cycle or two, or even a week, Ren’s mission had taken him away from the Finalizer for over a month so far. Usually, Hux would have relished Ren being off the ship for so much time and yet it also happened to be the first instance that he had ever been disappointed to see Ren actually depart. There was certainly a cruel irony in that Hux thought.

Despite his resolve to put what had occurred between them swiftly behind him, for the first several cycles, Hux found himself missing the alpha immensely, spending a great deal of time thinking about him. He disliked it, not used to being so easily distracted. Furthermore, he couldn’t help wanting Ren right there by his side, or at least nearby. Hux had continuously tried to reassure himself that his feelings towards and preoccupation with Ren was merely a by-product of his now ended heat. After all, it certainly wasn’t unusual for omegas to crave the close proximity and attention of the alpha that they had just shared their heat with, and presently Hux possessed neither of those things.

As he hadn’t been informed of the nature of Ren’s mission or where he was going, Hux had no way of communicating with the man. This wasn’t in itself unusual, it being generally customary that Ren cut off all contact with the exception of Snoke himself when sent upon the type of mission that required his knights by his side. Hux had never minded not being able to reach him during such periods in the past, having viewed his presence on the Finalizer as more of a nuisance than anything else. As such he had very little need to contact his co-commander.

While there was part of Hux that wished that he could at least get a message to him, Hux knew what it was for the best that he couldn’t, it allowing him an easier transition towards some semblance of normality. He had never sought out Ren before and it was important that he not do so now, especially as he had no reason to other than missing him. And really that couldn’t even be counted as a real reason at all. Additionally, Hux had no idea what he would even say to him in the first place, let alone something that didn’t come out sounding horrendously awkward and embarrassing.

His shame over the whole ordeal had already increased exponentially throughout the ensuing days in that having more energy and not requiring as much sleep, it left him with even more time to reflect on things. He suspected that Ren not being present to comfort and tell him that he had nothing to be embarrassed about also played a part in it. And while he hadn’t believed Ren then and he certainly wouldn’t do so now, Hux had nevertheless been reassured by the alpha’s words. It frustrated him immensely knowing that he was taking stock in something that he was aware wasn’t true just because a particular someone happened to say it. It was pathetic really. In the end, the only person whose opinion should matter was his own. 

His distracting thoughts aside, Hux was able to return to his duties with little issue. He had been a bit paranoid in the beginning, fearing that his suppressants wouldn’t work quickly enough and that his alpha subordinates would be able to smell his natural omegan scent through his pheromone-blocking deodorant. He was pleased to discover however, that this wasn’t the case, the officers under him treating and respecting him in the same manner that they always had, welcoming his return. Or outwardly welcoming it anyway. 

It wasn’t until a week later that Hux was finally summoned to the Supremacy by Snoke. And while he couldn’t help feeling slightly indignant that he hadn’t been called upon before then, he was glad of the additional time it gave him to recover and for his body and mind to return to its normal state. He was also appreciative of the extra time in that it would decrease the risk of Snoke being able to sense that something was amiss within him. As although Hux was more than adept at concealing his true thoughts when in Snoke’s presence, having learned how to amass mental barriers to protect himself, this was something entirely different.

Hux had no idea if Snoke’s species – whatever that may be – possessed endotypes such as alphas, omegas and betas. If so, there was the possibility that Snoke might be able to detect the signs of him having just been in heat or at the very least, sense that there was something off about him. There was also the chance that unlike the officers aboard the Finalizer, Snoke would still be able to pick up on his lingering natural scent. Hux, however, thought – or hoped anyway – it to be unlikely, as even if Snoke’s species did have them, with Hux being a human, Snoke’s nose might not be able to detect it at all; pheromones tending to only be shared and experienced by members of the same species. And even then, human betas could rarely pick up the pheromones of either alphas or omegas.

As such, Snoke, a member of an alien species being able to smell him in a manner that other humans couldn’t seemed faintly ridiculous. Or it would have been had Hux not being frighteningly aware of how powerful the mysterious creature known as Snoke truly was. Hux had never been able to gage the full extent of his powers and because of this, was very much aware that Snoke was not a being to be taken lightly.

Regardless of the possibility of Snoke realising that he was an omega aside, Hux already felt apprehensive about being in his presence thanks to the destruction of Starkiller Base and his failure thus far to capture the Resistance. The latter, it turned out to be what Snoke had summoned him for; to enquire about how the Order’s search for them was progressing. Hux had been honest, explaining that while they had yet to locate the Resistance, he was confident that they soon would; that it was only a matter of time. Snoke hadn’t been pleased to hear it but thankfully he hadn’t lashed out at Hux using the Force, something which he had done after Hux’s initial failure to stop their fighters in the resulting chaos of the destruction of Starkiller Base. Back then Snoke had slammed him down hard against the durasteel floor, knocking the wind out of him and bruising his cheek on impact. This time, however, Snoke simply aired his considerable disappointment in him instead. Which to Hux was almost as equally unpleasant.

After he had left to return to the Finalizer, Hux realised that Snoke summoning him directly to the Supremacy when really it would have been more time effective for Hux to report to him from the Finalizer’s holoprojection chamber, was more than likely the result of Snoke’s desire to belittle him in person. And although the holoprojection image made Snoke look ginormous, there was something far more intimidating about seeing Snoke face-to-face. Perhaps it was his ghastly visage of which while magnified greatly in the holoprojection chamber, didn’t quite capture the true extent of how ghastly his face was to gaze upon. He looked even worst with that gaudy gold robe of his, something which also couldn’t be seen properly in holoprojections. For someone who possessed the title of Supreme Leader, Snoke certainly didn’t dress as if he was. While Hux was against opulence on principal, he would at least dress the part when he eventually became Supreme Leader himself. 

Snoke really was hideous, and out of all of his thoughts, Hux believed it to be the one he probably had the most trouble concealing. Snoke, however, was likely more than aware of how repulsive his appearance was, using it to frighten and coerce those around him.

It was in a moment of weakness as he was leaving, Snoke having just dismissed him, that Hux stopped and turned, asking Snoke when Ren was expected to return to the Finalizer.

“He is on an important mission for me. He will return when he has completed his mission or not at all,” Snoke had answered simply, not elaborating any further than that.

While many would have found his words ominous and possibly even threatening, Hux knew that it was merely part of the uncomfortably cryptic way that Snoke spoke in general. The amusing thing, however, was that if Snoke had said those exact same words to him a week earlier, Hux would have taken glee in the thought of Ren perishing in whatever dangerous expedition he was sent on. But alas, despite his desire to return to normality, he couldn’t bring himself to want such a thing. In truth, it was almost the opposite, Hux finding himself feeling concern for Ren.

But he knew well enough that the alpha could take care of himself. Ren would be fine. Hux was sure of it.

In any case, Snoke hadn’t given him an actual answer to his question and while it was irksome not being privy to any of the details, Hux knew that if he enquired about it further, he risked arousing suspicion from Snoke. With his thoughts concealed, Hux didn’t believe that there was any way that Snoke could know about what had occurred between him and Ren, but nevertheless, he thought it wise to err on the side of caution, and so he left it at that. He even gave a small smirk as a means of demonstrating to Snoke that he was pleased about Ren’s absence, Snoke aware that Hux and his apprentice didn’t get along. In fact, Hux was almost positive that Snoke actively encouraged both their antagonistic relationship and overall animosity towards each other. And while Hux hated to think of himself as ever playing into somebody else’s hands, he disliked – or at least he had – Ren for his own reasons, completely outside and separate from Snoke’s attempts to influence him.

“I see. Well then, I shall return to the Finalizer and refocus my efforts on taking down those Resistance scum.”

“See that you do, General. My patience is not an infinite resource and it would be wise not to test its limits,” said Snoke with a dismissive wave of his hand. Hux recognised the threat in his words. He was fearful but his frustration was even stronger. And thanks to years of suffering under Brendol, he was used to schooling his expressions so as to hide his true feelings. If he could hide his burning hatred and intention to kill his father from him then he could conceal his emotions from Snoke easily.

With his hand to his chest, he offered Snoke a modest bow. As much as he wanted to be in the Supreme Leader’s good graces, unlike Ren, Hux would never willingly kneel for him. He was of course aware that Ren and Snoke’s relationship was very different than their own, Snoke being both Ren’s master and having been the one to bring Ren into the First Order in the first place. Fortunately, Hux had been able to highlight his value to Snoke in other ways. Regrettably, however, one of those things was now reduced to dust, existing no longer.

Starkiller had succeeded in wiping out the entire Hosnian system, however, something of which Hux would make sure to remind Snoke if necessary.

“Of course, Supreme Leader,” Hux replied deferentially as he took his leave of the Supremacy, returning to the far more welcoming corridors of the Finalizer.

As the weeks went on, Hux found himself thinking about Ren less and less. It would be a lie to say that the knight had vanished from his thoughts completely, however. Primarily they arose outside of work when he was alone in his quarters, and unsurprisingly, most often when he was lying in bed attempting to fall sleep. While Hux had gotten rid of all of his linen, as well as having acquired a new mattress, it appeared that he couldn’t so easily rid himself of the memories associated with them whether they be different ones or not. While he had told himself repeatedly that his fixation with such memories would pass, it did nothing to stop the dreams he was having. Neither did it stop those occasional instances when he woke up to find himself hard and ridiculously turned on from the contents of said dreams; all of which featured Ren doing very specific things with or at least to him.

The last time those things had occurred with any kind of frequency had been just before he had presented as an omega; back before he had willingly resigned himself to a life of abstinence. It was one thing to wake up aroused like this when you were a teenager, but being in his mid-thirties, he thought it absolutely shameful. Furthermore, he highly doubted that Ren had such lewd dreams nor woke up in such a manner. He had already humiliated himself in front of the man as it was. He certainly didn’t need to do anything more to add to it.

In addition to dealing with his bed, while Hux hadn’t gotten rid of the table that Ren had pulled out that night so they could eat their meals together, he had nevertheless, made sure that it was quickly returned it to its original place in the corner out of the way. His failed attempt to eat there the cycle Ren had left for his mission indicated clearly that he wouldn’t be sitting at it again. And so once more, the piece of furniture went back to being unused other than functioning as an occasional temporary dumping ground for things until Hux or a cleaning droid returned whatever was set upon it to its proper place. It was for such a reason that Hux chose not just to throw it out. That and he also didn’t have the justification of it being covered in his slick and Ren’s pheromones like his bedding had. 

Not liking waste, Hux had also chosen to keep the food that Ren had gotten for him. He had done his best to eat the leftovers, but it had been a struggle. Furthermore, there were certain foods that he feared he had left too long before getting around to eating. Not wanting to risk getting food poisoning, he had no option but to toss them. Much to his frustration, he had felt guilty about doing so, which was ridiculous really. After all, while it had been a thoughtful gesture on Ren’s part, it wasn’t like he had asked Ren for the food in the first place. And certainly not such a ludicrous amount at that.

He lamented that Ren hadn’t been able to take some away with him, or at least hadn’t returned in enough time to eat what was left. While Hux had nothing in particular to justify such thoughts, he strongly suspected that Ren would have less qualms about eating something potentially out-of-date than he did. He also couldn’t help but believe that Ren could probably consume most foods and remain perfectly fine while anyone else eating it would be deathly ill. Of course, that was neither here nor there, and with his resolve to put things behind him, Ren suddenly showing up at his quarters for food would indeed be awkward. 

Once it was all finally gone, Hux returned to his former eating habits, once again subsiding on ration bars and protein packs. While they didn’t taste particularly good, being bland more than anything else, he was used to them at least. For Hux the most important thing was that the food he ate didn’t need any prior preparation and could be consumed quickly and with ease, not taking his attention away from whatever task he was focused on at the time.

Nevertheless, he still couldn’t help bemoaning the unfortunate fact that caf couldn’t be substituted for food. Or well, at least not entirely. At this point, he was rather convinced that the caf he drank fuelled him more than what he actually ate did.

In spite of the return to normalcy when it came to eating, there had been one evening after a particularly exhausting shift when he had seriously considered ordering the soup Ren had gotten for him, having a sudden craving for it. It was an entirely new experience for him. At least when it came to food.

He had decided against it, however. After all, he would have to go out of his way to order it when really it would be much easier just to grab something from the cupboard. It would also take him much longer to eat. The most important thing, however, was that it would only serve to remind him of Ren, which was definitely not what he needed.

Thinking back, Ren had seemed so pleased that he had enjoyed the soup he had chosen. Gleeful almost. Hux found it utterly baffling. In any case, if Hux ordered some, he was sure that it would be impossible for him not to fantasise about the alpha’s stupidly handsome smile as he made his way through the soup. And so, in the end, Hux decided not to have any. 

He only ate half a protein pack that evening, unable to stomach any more than that.

Due to a previous arrangement with Doctor Fahey, every few cycles, Hux had agreed to go to medbay. It was that or Fahey would drop by his quarters so that he could check Hux’s bloods and vitals to ensure that he was properly recovering and that his suppressants were no longer having any adverse effects on him.

However, despite the fact that it was to ensure that he was healthy and functioning, Hux couldn’t help finding it incredibly tedious, and after three weeks he decided to finally put a stop to it.

“Sir, it might be best to continue with these check-ups for a while longer, just to make –”

Hux held up his hand. “No. I don’t think that will be necessary. As you said yourself, the level of suppressants in my bloodstream are at perfectly adequate levels and pose no cause for alarm. Additionally, there hasn’t been any further build of toxins within my system either. To continue on doing this would be a waste of time. Both of mines and yours, Doctor.” Hux’s time of course was indisputably more valuable but it was true that Fahey’s was as well. As head physician he was responsible for overseeing the entirety of the Finalizer’s medbay after all.

Fahey looked very much like he wanted to protest but perhaps realising that he would be fighting a losing battle, he backed down. He was determined to have some say, however.

“Could I at least suggest a weekly examination, General? I understand that you are a very busy man, but the tests wouldn’t take much longer than the ones we’re already doing,” the doctor assured, “Furthermore, as an invaluable member of the First Order’s upper ranks, it is important to make sure you continue to remain in good health and for us physicians to be able to detect any abnormalities that might possibly jeopardise it.”

Hux had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Instead, he settled for sighing. “I will agree to a _fortnightly_ examination. As you said, I am a very busy man, and I can’t afford to keep going back and forth to medbay when there’s important work to be done.” He also feared catching someone’s attention if anybody got wind of his frequent visits to medbay. The last thing he needed was for his health to be called into question and for people to start speculating. There were many out there who desired his position and who would undoubtably jump on any such rumours without mercy.

Despite Hux only barely relenting, Fahey looked pleased by his answer. “Thank you, sir.”

“If something does come up, I will have to cancel our appointment, whether it be last minute or not.”

“That’s absolutely fine.”

“You certainly are a strange one, Doctor,” said Hux out loud without thinking.

“Sir?”

Hux cleared his throat, embarrassed by the slip-up. “Nothing.”

“Of course,” said Fahey, deferentially before turning away to pack his equipment away.

“How are you finding the suppressants I prescribed you? They aren’t causing you any unusual side-effects, are they?” the doctor inquired. 

“Ah, no, there have been no issue with them thus far,” Hux replied. Yes, he hadn’t noticed much of a difference with them.

While he would have much preferred to continue on having his suppressants smuggled aboard the Finalizer as he always had, despite the evidence to the contrary, Hux worried that it was the brand that he had taken before that had stopped working for him and thus was ultimately responsible for triggering his heat. That or he had received a bad or counterfeit batch, the smugglers or suppliers trying to rip him off, not realising who it was that was purchasing them.

Not wanting to risk either of those possibilities occurring, Hux took up Fahey’s offer to prescribe him some instead.

He had been hesitant initially. While Fahey had promised to be discreet about it, Hux feared the chance of being discovered if Fahey were careless and accidentally left a trail; a trail that could ultimately be traced to him. 

“With all due respect sir, out of all the medication we prescribe, suppressants are probably one of the ones that have the least value and as such, not much attention is paid to our supply of them,” Fahey had explained, to him, “Of course we always have some in stock for the omegas aboard the ship who require them and have never run out thus far. But nevertheless, the truth is -”

“That no one would give a damn if some were to go missing,” supplied Hux, easily catching on. Fahey nodded.

“And I’m assuming that’s if anyone even bothered to actually check on their with any kind of regularity,” uttered Hux, unimpressed and yet not surprised in the slightest.

“I’m aware that it’s not a particularly good system,” said Fahey, apologetically, “But with Stormtroopers frequently coming in with injuries obtained either from training or actual battle; that is where the attention of both the medical staff and med-droids goes. And even then, more important still is the health of the officers themselves. Especially those in senior positions.”

The higher the rank, the more important the role an officer would play in the overall running of the Order. Hux, of course, knew well from experience that this wasn’t always the case. Nevertheless, he understood the hierarchy and that as such, their health was given the higher priority. There was no way the life of merger and easily responsible stormtrooper would be given precedence over a bridge officer or even that of a Tie Pilot.

“Because of this, the health and wellbeing of omegas outside the realms of natal concerns are often overlooked,” continued Fahey.

Yes, an omegas value was weighed primarily upon their ability to bare children, and as many as possible at that; the First Order always looking for new future officers in the making. Unsurprisingly, those who had been born into and raised within the First Order, tended to be amongst the most loyal as was the case with himself. Although admittedly, the first several years of his life, it had been under the older Imperial rule and the Empire that he was taught to swear his allegiance to. Nevertheless, while things had changed since then, the objective of upholding order within the chaos of a lawless galaxy remained the same. Hux however, had always considered the First Order superior to the Empire, it going to succeed where the Empire had failed.

“We still do treat omegas to the best of our ability of course. Please don’t misunderstand,” Fahey added immediately as if worried that Hux might believe that the doctors and droids just ignored them and left them to suffer.

Such a thing wouldn’t be possible. Not so much because of an omegas designated function to breed and produce offspring – although a valuable commodity to be sure – but because medbay would more than likely have a horde of angry alpha officers on its hands if they believed that their mates weren’t getting the proper care. And while it was true that most alphas were protective of their omegas in general, Hux couldn’t help but believe that the primary reason for their anger was that they would take the lack of appropriate treatment as a personal affront.

As such, while the injury of a stormtrooper hurt in battle took precedence over the minor concerns of omegas, the ones under the care of medical were undoubtably treated with far more delicacy and courteousness than a stormtrooper would be. Additionally, omegas were seen as far more emotionally fragile and it wouldn’t be worth the hassle to risk upsetting one. That was unless they were being difficult, and their mate permitted the punishment due to them misbehaving. This in part was because the behaviour and mannerisms of an omega was believed to have a direct reflection upon their mate. If an alpha officer couldn’t even handle their omega, then there was a likely chance that their position and rank would be called into question. 

“It’s just that when it comes to suppressants, things are a bit more complicated, what with those out there who are outspoken against their use,” rationalised Fahey when Hux hadn’t offer anything in response.

Hux understood what Fahey was alluding to. While it was true that omegas could become pregnant outside their heats – although admittedly, the chances were far lower for omega males compared to their female counterparts – the probability of conception increased greatly when mating with an alpha while in the midst of one. Moreover, in the past, children who were conceived during a heat had often been received more favourably.

Less weight was given to such a concept now. At least within the First Order. A healthy child was a healthy child after all and a future asset to be wielded by it.

In any case, while suppressants didn’t present an absolute barrier to pregnancy, there were those alphas – and to a much lesser extent, betas – who looked upon their use with disdain. This was often regardless of the fact that it was for both theirs and their mate’s benefit that they take them, particularly if their work happened to keep them away when a heat was expected to hit. If their omega did go into heat during such a time, they would have to abandon their duties to take care of them or leave them to endure their heat alone.

Having now gone through the agony of a heat himself – although admittedly his had been far more severe than the average omegas – before he had relented and accepted Ren’s help, Hux had a newfound sense of sympathy for those omegas who had to go through it by themselves.

“I’m not entirely sure if you’re aware, but it is an omega’s mate or an alpha family member who has to be the one to request suppressants from us. Unfortunately, it’s also up to their mate or responsible alpha’s discretion on whether they should have access to and be allowed to take them. Because of this, there are instances when prescriptions for suppressants are filed and made up but not actually collected,” explained Fahey, “This tends to be due to a change in circumstances or the person responsible deciding against it after all.”

“In other words, the omega has absolutely no say in the matter whatsoever,” Hux stated bitterly, struggling to mask the disgust he felt over it all.

He supposed he should be thankful that Brendol had been so ashamed of having an omega for a son that he had helped him to hide it. Had he not, provided that Brendol hadn’t just gone ahead and orchestrated his death, Hux would be in the situation of having to ask ‘his own alpha’s’ permission to use suppressants himself. He balked at the very notion. And then even more so in that he could easily envision himself being forcibly mated to an old Imperial officer, perhaps one of his father’s friends, and someone who would undoubtably deny what to Hux would have been a completely reasonable request.

He could say with absolute confidence that there was no way whatsoever that he would ever regret choosing to live as a beta and hiding that he was an omega.

Currently however, he hated that there was a small part of himself that couldn’t help wondering how Ren would react to his mate – had he actually had one of course – wanting to use suppressants, and whether he would protest or accept their wishes. That aside, Hux had to admit, the thought of Ren with a mate made him somewhat uncomfortable, if not a bit melancholic. In any case, Ren had shown himself to possess rather progressive views towards omegas from their time spent together. Nevertheless, Hux was aware that things could easily change once an alpha and omega were actually bonded and there was no longer any need to play nice so to speak. Once you were bonded, that was it. It was everlasting. And while divorce wasn’t forbidden within the First Order, Hux had certainly never heard of an alpha and omega bonded pair separating from one and other.

When it came down to it, for alphas and omegas, bonding was perceived to be of even more import, as well as being considered as more legally binding than going through an actual wedding ceremony and possessing marriage documentation. There were those out there who considered marriage and bonding to be one and the same. Hux supposed he could understand that point of view to an extent. It was easy enough to get rid of or delete documents revealing one’s marriage, but a bond mark was forever. It was a permanent fixture. At least not without some surgical intervention and even then, that was really only covering up the scarring caused by the bite. It wasn’t uncommon however, if one’s mate passed away, for an alpha to seek out another omega to mate with, regardless of age. With omegas on the other hand, it only seemed to occur if they still had regular heats and were capable of falling pregnant. Otherwise, what was the point of them?

In any case, Ren’s opinions on such matters and how he would respond shouldn’t concern him in the slightest, Hux reminded himself. Nonetheless, he still couldn’t help believing that Ren had been genuinely sincere with him, even now when no longer effected by his post-heat hormones softening his emotions.

“However, I’m sure in many cases, it’s actually been the omega’s decision to take the suppressants,” continued Fahey, attempting to put a more positive spin on their discussion, “It’s simply that with the protocols currently in place, omegas can’t request them themselves and so instead have ask their alpha to get them.”

“That’s highly naïve of you, doctor,” Hux retorted coolly. In the end, it was the alphas who had the final say, and so it was hard to imagine them giving into their mate’s appeals for suppressants if they hadn’t already made up their minds that using them would be in their own best interest.

In spite of his disgust, Hux chose not to say anything more about it. As much as the lives for omegas within the First Order weren’t perfect, he wasn’t like them. And so, it was impossible to properly relate to their situations. That aside, there was little he could do to change their circumstances, not without risking some form of scrutiny from High Command or even the Supreme Leader himself. He couldn’t afford that kind of negative attention. Not with Snoke already displeased with him and having not long been in heat himself.

The matter was out of his hands. And really his concern should be reserved solely for himself. He could change things if he so wished when he finally became Supreme Leader himself, but until then…well, he would just have to continue biding his time. Thankfully, he was a man blessed with great patience.

“In any case, sir, provided that it isn’t a large amount, I don’t believe that anyone would notice if a supply of suppressants went missing, especially with the ones that were already boxed up and lying there uncollected,” said Fahey, returning to his original point, “And if it was noticed by someone that they were gone, it would be simple enough to say that they had eventually been picked up by those who requested them.”

“Again, it’s not the most efficient system, I’m aware,” added Fahey sounding genuinely remorseful, if not a little ashamed.

“No. It is not,” replied Hux, still unimpressed. He would have expected such an unruly and lazy system of inventory from the New Republic or some backwater planet that the Order had yet to gain control of, but certainly not from the First Order itself.

While it was Fahey who oversaw the cycle-to-cycle running of medbay, he couldn’t lay the blame entirely on him, it more than likely being this way throughout the entirety of the Order rather than merely the Finalizer. Furthermore, given Fahey’s attitude to learning that he was an omega, Hux didn’t find it difficult to believe that he was one of the more considerate doctors the Order had on staff. Provided that he didn’t allow sentimentality to get in the way of his duties, then he should be commended. Additionally, as Fahey had stated before, their attention was focused primarily healing soldiers so they could return to the battlefield to fight once more. It was for the good of the Order.

“Alright, you’ve made your point. I’ll take you up on your offer, Doctor,” Hux acquiesced, again choosing to put his personal feelings aside. Even if it was frustrating to him, Hux couldn’t deny that the carelessness when it came to inventorying suppressants wasn’t actually to his benefit. 

And so, since then, for the past several weeks, Hux had relied on Fahey to provide him with new suppressants.

Hux was relieved that having come to an agreement with Fahey, he wouldn’t have to keep subjecting himself to examination every other cycle, as while it hadn’t exactly been overly intrusive or time-consuming, he had grown rather weary of it. After all, it was difficult putting everything behind him when he was constantly being reminded of it.

With his check-ups being reduced to every fortnight instead, Hux hoped to eventually put an end to them altogether. Although he suspected that it would likely take some convincing of the good doctor. Regardless, when that happened, Hux would be able to properly return to the life he had been living previously. He would go back to being a beta General who made sure to unfailingly take his vitamin supplements every cycle. From both an outsider’s perception, as well as his own, there would be nothing more to it than that.

With it now nearing towards the half-way point of it being another month since Ren had been away – almost six weeks now – Hux’s life, other than his check-ups with Doctor Fahey – now thankfully reduced – had ostensibly returned to normal, Hux able to carry out his duties without any physical or emotional hindrance. In truth, the entire ordeal of going into heat felt a bit like a distant dream; a dream that had admittedly been so deeply distressing for him to that it could be considered bordering on a nightmare. And yet, at the same time, Hux couldn’t deny that it had also been pleasurable and somewhat exhilarating. All thanks to Ren of course.

Nevertheless, as with all dreams, the feelings attached to them when one first awakes, quickly fade away, as does the memory of the dream itself. 

However, what had occurred hadn’t actually been a dream. It had happened, and Hux was very much reminded of this fact when he eventually saw Ren again.

Hux was in his office, going over all the reports sent by the different section heads of each of the ships various departments. While many would find such a task tedious and given his position, he was more than within his rights to give the job of doing it to one of his officers, Hux, although he wouldn’t go quite as far as to say it was enjoyable, found mild satisfaction in it. It always made him proud to see that the ship was running efficiently after all. At least for the most part.

The departments he believed to be lacking would need to be swiftly dealt with, and unless there was a genuine issue that prevented them from performing to their full potential, he would be absolutely merciless.

Just as he was about to begin reviewing a report sent by Doctor Fahey of all people, Hux found himself interrupted, the doors to his officer suddenly hissing open. About to reprimand whoever it was that had deemed it appropriate to barge in without announcing themselves, Hux immediately stilled when he saw who it was that had walked in.

“Ren,” he gasped as he took in the sight of Ren standing there before him.

Ren’s robes were absolutely filthy. Even his helmet was caked in muck and grime, and although he couldn’t currently see them from his present position, Hux imagined that his boots were much the same. Normally Hux would be furious about Ren traipsing dirt throughout the Finalizer’s pristine corridors, and his office even more so than that, but he was far too taken aback by Ren’s unexpected presence in front of him to be concerned about something that in comparison seemed so trivial.

“Hello, General,” greeted Ren, his modulated voice sounding out from his mask. Hux wondered if underneath it, Ren’s face would be as dirty as the rest of him or if his helmet had protected it from the atmosphere outside.

“I…I wasn’t aware at all that you had returned,” admitted Hux, embarrassed and a bit frustrated at been caught off-guard like this. He was rather sure that he had received no notification on his datapad letting him know of Ren’s arrival back on the Finalizer. Of course, there was the possibility that he had been so engrossed in going through the reports in front of him that he had somehow missed it. But even so, one of his officers should have at least announced Ren’s return to him, it being part of their duties to inform him of such things. 

“My shuttle only docked ten minutes ago. I came straight here,” Ren explained. That really wasn’t long ago at all, thought Hux, surprised.

“I see,” said Hux getting to his feet. He remained standing behind his desk, however. “In that case, is there something that you need to relay to me?”

Ren titled his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you said that you had come straight here so I’m assuming you must have some information of importance to tell me,” replied Hux, clasping his hands behind his back, “Is it something to do with the outcome of your mission? Or perhaps a message from Leader Snoke?” Hux hadn’t had any further contact from the Snoke since he had been summoned to the Supremacy, and that had been over a month ago now. Hux feared that the Supreme Leader had lost faith in him. And if Snoke really was questioning his capabilities, then it was more important than ever now that Snoke not learn of what occurred between him and Ren. 

His concerns about Snoke aside, Ren coming to his office so soon was unusual in that it could often be hours before Ren graced him with his presence after he returned from a mission. In some instances, it was Hux himself who had to seek Ren out. That was unless it was something vitally important. And given that Ren had only docked ten minutes ago, he had clearly come to Hux’s office in a hurry. Once Hux realised this, a sense of urgency took over him.

“Do you have news of the Resistance?” asked Hux, both hopeful and wary. He was hopeful that their base had been located, but cautious over the possibility that they had dealt the Order a further blow. Again, with Snoke having aired his disappointment in him, he couldn’t afford another mishap when it came to dealing with them.

“What? No, I uh, just really wanted to see you was all,” Ren admitted simply, as if such a thing wasn’t out of the ordinary. Hux, meanwhile, despite how they had last parted – Ren having pulled him into his arms, embracing him – hadn’t expected that at all.

“Oh.” A part of Hux wondered if he should be flattered that Ren had been so eager to see him. So eager in fact that he had sought him out above everything else. The other part however, had no idea whatsoever how to respond to such information.

“I-I see,” he settled for; silence directly following.

“Hux, I –”

“Am I right to assume that your mission was a success then?” asked Hux, accidentally speaking over Ren. With his face obscured, Hux couldn’t tell if Ren was annoyed at being interrupted, but Ren answered him, nonetheless.

“Yes. It was difficult. But it went well,” admitted Ren. Hux was relieved that he didn’t sound annoyed. After a moment, Ren said, “Thank you.”

Hux’s eyes widened slightly, more than a little surprised to hear Ren thanking him. Usually if he were to ask him such a question, Ren would snort and offer a brusque response with something along the lines of, “Shouldn’t the fact that I’m standing here right now be evidence enough that it did?”

It had always infuriated Hux. He had only been trying to be courteous after all.

Or for the most part that had been his intention. He couldn’t deny that he often yearned for a time when Ren was forced to admit to him that his mission had ended miserably in failure and that he required the Order’s – or rather Hux’s help. But that wasn’t the case now.

“I-I’m very pleased to hear it,” Hux stuttered out. He was also pleased to see that Ren appeared to be unharmed. At least from what he could tell. Hux would have liked to think that if Ren had actually sustained any injuries, that he would have gone straight to medbay rather than coming here first. Of course, who knew what kind of state Ren was in underneath those heavy robes of his.

Speaking of Ren’s robes, Hux felt his cheeks flush upon remembering that he had actually seen what resided underneath them.

And what a magnificent sight it had been. From what Hux could recall, every inch of Ren had been absolutely perfect. Even his scars.

With his heart hammering in his chest at the memory of Ren’s physique and how he had gotten to touch and caress it, Hux had to mentally scold and urge himself to calm down. 

“There were no problems here at all while I was away?” asked Ren suddenly, awakening Hux from his deeply inappropriate thoughts.

It took Hux a moment to click that Ren might not so much be querying about how the Finalizer had faired in his absence, but rather how Hux had been doing considering his heat had only just ended when Ren had left. In spite of the fact that he had been summoned by Snoke making it impossible for him to stay, Ren had clearly regretted having to leave him at the time.

Of course, it could be that Ren really was just curious over the state of the ship, or perhaps was continuing his courteous streak and trying to be considerate towards him as Hux had been to him.

Annoyingly, with his helmet on, Hux had no idea what kind of expression Ren was wearing beneath it, leaving him with little indication as to what Ren was actually thinking. It made Hux aware that he had very much enjoyed having been able to see Ren’s face previously. Although Hux tried his best to school his own expressions in his dealings with others, getting to witness Ren’s made him feel like he was at less of a disadvantage with the man. The fact that Ren also happened to possess an incredibly handsome face was a much welcome bonus, adding another reason to why he wanted to see Ren sans his helmet.

Hux quickly reminded himself, however, that it was probably for the best that he couldn’t see it. He was far less likely to lose his composure as well as being taken in by Ren’s charm; charm that to Hux had seemed to have materialised out of nowhere.

No. What Hux really needed was to stand firm so he didn’t lose his regained sense of normality. And fortunately, Ren wearing a mask helped with that.

“Yes. There have been no issues since you’ve left,” Hux replied, knowing that regardless of whether Ren’s question was aimed at him personally, or asking about the ship, his answer could easily be applied to both.

“I’m pleased to hear that too,” said Ren, mirroring Hux’s earlier response. Even through the distortion of his mask, Hux could tell that Ren sounded relieved. If that was the case, then Hux suspected Ren had likely been asking about him. And while Hux couldn’t deny that it satisfied him, Hux was aware he shouldn’t encourage Ren’s continued interest in his wellbeing.

“You needn’t have been so concerned,” stated Hux. However, realising that it had come out harsher than he had intended, he immediately added, “Uh, that is, the Finalizer is a superbly run ship as you well know.” Although aware that it was him Ren was asking after, he thought it best if he didn’t acknowledge it out loud.

“The crew have been performing as admirably as ever, of course. In fact, I’m actually in the process of going over reports from several different departments heads right now. These can confirm how efficiently things have been running,” Hux continued, as if needing to justify both the ship and himself.

Stars, he was practically rambling. He really should make an attempt to end this awkward conversation before he either made an utter fool of himself or his resolve crumbled completely simply from being in Ren’s presence. What he required was some time to properly gather his thoughts.

‘As if you haven’t had over a month to do so already, you buffoon,’ Hux mentally chastised himself.

“Well then, I imagine that after such a long and a no doubt tiring mission, that you’ll be desiring some much-earned rest,” said Hux, hoping to subtly encourage Ren to leave, feeling that it would be rude to ask him outright to do so.

To think that little over a month ago he would have had no qualms whatsoever about ordering Ren out of his office. Not that he would have likely needed to, Ren generally not wanting to remain in his presence any longer than Hux had wanted to be in his.

“I’m actually not that tired. With my knights present on this mission, piloting the shuttle wasn’t my responsibility alone so I was able to get a decent rest on the way back here,” explained Ren, which while good for Ren, was not for Hux, as despite his filthy and raggedy appearance, there was the possibility that Ren would be more than happy to stand there in his office attempting conversation for the rest of the cycle.

“Still, it would be pleasant to return to your own quarters, would it not? Have a good sonic, put on a fresh set of clothes,” urged Hux. He knew that was what he would want had he been away for so long. As much as he didn’t spend a great deal of time in his quarters, it was the only place where he could truly unwind a bit and get some actual sleep.

Ren seemed reluctant to return to his own however, replying with a despondent, “I suppose.”

Hux sighed internally. It looked like he had no choice. “Well, I’m very pleased to see that you’ve returned safe and sound, and while I appreciate you dropping by, I really should get back to reading through these reports,” said Hux, placing a hand on his chair as to indicate he was planning on sitting back down. He just hoped that Ren would get the hint. “I still have quite a few to –”

“Hux, I –” Ren interrupted, suddenly taking a step forward. Hux’s breath hitched as he did so.

Presently, Hux was stood behind his desk, and while it functioned almost as barrier of sorts between them, Ren could easily walk around it if he chose. The last time Ren had interrupted and approached him, Hux had ended up being pulled into the alpha’s arms, having practically melted against his warm and comforting embrace. Hux doubted that the action would provide him any comfort now, however. Or perhaps it would? He thought he had gotten a handle on his emotions, but not now with Ren standing there before him, he was no longer quite so sure.

Fortunately, he wouldn’t have to find out, Ren stopping after a couple of steps. 

His relief was short-lived, however.

“I was hoping that we could talk,” announced Ren.

“Oh?” Hux wasn’t naïve or stupid enough to ask what about, but when it came to thinking that Ren wouldn’t bring up what happened between them and simply leave things unsaid, Hux supposed he had been.

“You’re right though,” Ren continued, “I should return to my quarters and take a shower and change into some clean clothes first.” Hux hoped that Ren didn’t think that he was purposely being insulting about his appearance or personal hygiene. Then again, perhaps it was kinder to let him think that than the alternative of Ren knowing that Hux didn’t wish to speak with him at all.

No, that wasn’t true. Despite his anxiety, Hux was immensely relieved to see Ren standing there in front of him and in one piece. It was simply their last interactions that he didn’t wish to discuss or be reminded of.

“Could I come by your quarters later?” asked Ren, “After your shift is over?”

Hux stilled at the question, staring at the blank faceplate of Ren’s helmet. He hesitated before answering. “I…These reports will take me a while yet to get through. I’m also scheduled to inspect the newest battalion of troopers later,” he said, shifting uncomfortably, “As such, I’m not entirely sure when I’ll be done.”

“Oh.” With that single word, it was more than clear that Ren was disappointed by his answer, and the rarely experienced emotion of guilt instantly arose from within Hux.

“However, I could drop by your quarters once I’m finished for the cycle. That is, if that’s an acceptable alternative for you?”

While Hux did want some more time to think things through, he knew that a discussion regarding what had happened between them would be inevitable. Over a month may have passed since then, but it wasn’t something that one could easily forget. Despite his best efforts he certainly hadn’t. Ren, meanwhile, Hux knew, wasn’t one to just let things go.

In any case, there was no reason to put it off longer than was necessary. It would be better to get it over with sooner rather than later. Both for his own sake and for Ren’s.

“That works for me,” replied Ren, immediately perking up.

“Good. I’ll drop by this evening, when I’m done then,” said Hux, unsure if he was relieved that Ren had agreed or not, “In the meantime, I’ll have some weekly reports sent to your datapad to catch you up on what you missed while you’ve been away.” Not that much had occurred, but it was best for those in charge to be informed and in the know at all times, and like it or not, Ren was his co-commander.

Ren nodded. “I appreciate that,” said Ren in lieu of a dismissive, ‘See that you do’. Something which Hux still found jarring.

“I’ll see you this evening then.” Just as he was about to turn and leave, Ren paused, saying, “It’s really good to see you, Hux.”

Hux swallowed. “I…And the same to you, Ren.”

And with a nod, Ren left his office.

As the doors closed behind Ren, Hux all but collapsed into his chair, letting out a despairing sigh as all those feelings he had managed to successfully repress these past few weeks came rushing back to him.

Hux rested his head against the back of the chair. “It really is good to see you, Ren” Hux murmured softly to himself, “However, I’m afraid I'm only going to disappoint you.”

Hux tried to shift his attention back to the series of reports compiled neatly across his desk, but he had a strong suspicion that he wouldn’t get through many more of them this cycle.

It appeared that the knight had stolen his focus and was once again consuming all of his thoughts.

Typical alpha, Hux thought wryly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Hux. One day he'll find true peace of mind. 
> 
> As always, thank you very much for reading! Comments and kudos are greatly welcomed and you can find me on both [tumblr](https://yanyangire.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/yangiretrash). 😊


	11. Chapter 11

As Hux suspected, he had only been able to get through a few more reports since Ren had left his office, his mind focused entirely on their arranged meeting to which there was no doubt in his mind would involve Ren bringing up the time they had spent together while Hux was in heat. Because of his preoccupation, he had also ended up having to rearrange the inspection of the newest batch of stormtroopers, pushing it back to next cycle, not trusting himself to give it the attention it deserved. It was something that he had loathed to do as since obtaining command of the Finalizer, he had made it his duty to visually assess all new stormtroopers to ensure that they were up to par once placed in a battalion – not that he didn’t trust Phasma’s judgement, of course. Hux also thought it prudent to offer them a small and inspiring congratulatory speech to encourage them and reignite their devotion to the First Order even further than before.

Still, Hux supposed that it couldn’t be helped. In any case, he had no doubt that Phasma could handle things in his absence.

Now, meanwhile, Hux found himself stood in front of Ren’s quarters, having come straight from his office. Although it wasn’t particularly late in the cycle, time was still getting on, making him concerned that Ren may be annoyed at the delay, Hux well aware that the man did not like to be kept waiting. Ren in a bad mood was the absolute last thing he needed right now.

And so, taking a deep breath, Hux raised his hand and pressed the buzzer to Ren’s quarters.

In spite of his desire to get things over with, a part of Hux found himself wishing that Ren wouldn’t be there. That he had gotten fed up with waiting and decided to go to one of the training rooms to workout instead, seeing it a more worthy use of his time than waiting around for Hux to show up.

Hux had no such luck however, as a moment later, he heard Ren’s voice calling out to him, telling him to come in. The doors swished open, seemingly of their own accord; a belief that was further cemented in that Hux saw that Ren wasn’t standing there in the doorway as he entered. Hux was momentarily confused by this before quickly remembering that Ren had the Force and that opening a door without having to physically touch it was practically child’s play for him.

As much as Hux dismissed the Force when compared with the immense military might of the First Order, Hux had to suppress his slight envy, as well as awe, when seeing it used in front of him.

Bracing himself, Hux walked further inside, glancing around curiously. While their quarters weren’t that far apart, just as Ren had never been inside his until very recently, Hux had never been in Ren’s before either, there having been no reason of either of them to visit the other.

Hux had to admit, he was rather surprised to find that Ren’s quarters were even more sparse than his own, there being very little in the way of actual furniture. And of the furniture that was there, nothing looked particularly comfortable. Hux wondered if that was the reason why Ren was currently sat in the middle of the floor. Although noting that Ren’s eyes were closed and his legs crossed as he hovered ever so slightly above the ground, him meditating proved to be the more probable explanation.

As he drew closer to Ren, Hux stopped several feet away from him, not wanting to get too near, believing that it was for the best that he kept his distance as much as possible. Although now that he thought about it, he realised that he no longer had to worry about accidentally getting a whiff of Ren’s pheromones; his suppressants successfully preventing him from being able to process the scents of other alphas and omegas.

Yes, no matter how close to Ren he got, he would smell nothing other than perhaps the soaps he used to wash himself or the scent of his shampoo. Hux knew that he shouldn’t feel disappointed by this. It was a good thing after all. In any case, it would be the exact same for Ren with him, Hux’s scent-blocking deodorant masking him own omegan scent, just as it had been before.

The absence of scent aside, Hux saw that Ren wasn’t wearing his helmet, his face on show for all – or rather Hux – to see.

Perhaps in spite of expecting company, Ren felt no need to wear his mask when in the sanctity of his own chambers. Hux was curious if this would still be the case if it hadn’t been for what had happened between them, or if Ren wouldn’t have given a damn regardless. Nevertheless, Ren seemed to have little issue with Hux walking straight into his quarters. 

As well as no longer donning his helmet, Hux noted that Ren wasn’t wearing his robes either, making Hux wonder if he had sent them off to be cleaned of if he simply saw little point wearing them here.

Currently, Ren wore a neat black tunic, the fabric of which looked much lighter than that of the one he usually had on. He also wore a pair of dark pants.

Hux couldn’t help thinking how good he looked; not to mention much cleaner than when he had turned up at his office earlier. After being away for so long, Hux could only imagine that Ren had spent a decent amount of time in a water-based shower when he had returned to his quarters, both to clean away the grime and to enjoy the pleasant warm it bestowed. 

For a brief moment, Hux found himself imagining Ren in the shower, the water streaming down his chest and the rest of his body. He quickly brought him back to the present however as Ren lowered himself back onto the floor. Seeing this, it was once again difficult for Hux not to be impressed by Ren’s powers.

Glancing up at him, Ren greeted Hux with a small smile as he got to his feet. Hux had been there a little over a minute and already he felt himself to be at a massive disadvantage, Ren’s smile catching him completely off guard. Ren really had no right whatsoever possessing a smile that looked that good. The fact that Ren appeared genuinely pleased to see him was also something that was rather surreal.

“Hello. I apologise for my tardiness. I do hope that I haven’t kept you waiting too long,” said Hux, straight off the bat. They hadn’t actually agreed upon a specific time for him to arrive at so he hardly be tardy, but nevertheless, Hux thought it wise to appear at least a little apologetic.

“Hey,” welcomed Ren as he took a few steps towards him. Hux, meanwhile, had to resist the urge to take a step back. “That’s alright. I was just meditating.” Hux didn’t detect any annoyance from him which was something of a relief. It wasn’t enough for him to relax, however.

“I saw. I hope I didn’t disturb you.”

Ren shook his head. “It’s fine, you didn’t. I was just passing the time to be honest,” replied Ren. Hux was beginning to almost feel guilty about having kept him waiting. “So, did you get through all those reports?”

“Ah, yes I did. Well, no. I do have a few more left that I need to read over,” Hux corrected after a moment, “But I’ll be sure to finish the rest tomorrow.” Yes, regardless of his mental state, he would get through them. And after the possible conversation that he suspected awaited him, Hux could definitely see them functioning as a much-needed distraction.

“So diligent,” said Ren, and although there was a slight hint of amusement in his voice, Hux didn’t think that Ren was making fun of him. He wasn’t sure what to make of it in truth.

“Yes, well, I like to try my best to keep on top of things. You never do know what will suddenly crop up.” Like the scenario of suddenly going into heat, something of which you never thought would ever effect you.

“I read the briefings you sent over earlier,” announced Ren. This pleased Hux, having been unsure whether Ren would have bothered with them or not. Although with very little happening during his absence, it would likely have made no real difference if Ren hadn’t actually read them. Still, it was nice to know that Ren was taking an interest. 

“Good. Is there anything within them that you would like to discuss with me?”

“No. Not really,” stated Ren, his answer being more or less what Hux had expected.

There was several moments of silence before Ren turned away and walked over to large ornate table behind him, something which having been so focused on Ren himself, Hux had completely neglected to notice. Like most of the furnishings in Ren’s quarters, colour-wise it was a chic black with some white coating the edges of the legs. Hux suspected that unlike his own table, Ren’s actually got regular use.

Given what he had seen at his quarters, it wasn’t difficult to envision the alpha sat there, his plate filled to brim with different vegetables and a large bantha steak right dab in the middle of it. While it might be partly a necessity in order for Ren to maintain his large bulk, Ren seemed to genuinely enjoy food. Really, it was the polar opposite of Hux.

“Here, have a seat,” offered Ren, pulling out a chair for him.

Hux’s immediate instinct was to decline, not wanting to be in Ren’s presence longer than what was strictly necessary. It was actually part of the reason why he had offered to come to Ren rather than having the knight visit his quarters. After all, it was easier to excuse oneself than to have to awkwardly ask someone to leave, having experienced it first-hand back in his office earlier. Furthermore, with his rank and position, Hux was no longer used to having to behave so deferentially arounds others or worrying about coming across as overly rude. People simply did what he ordered them to do without question.

This of course, wasn’t the case with Ren. But that aside, he genuinely didn’t want to offend him, especially after all Ren had done for him.

That didn’t mean he wanted to be around him, however. Or rather, more aptly, he felt that he couldn’t be. 

As things were, Hux feared that taking a seat would give off the impression that he was content to settle in and stay for a while. He thought of it much like when someone removed their outerwear when visiting someone. It was for that exact reason why Hux had left his greatcoat back at his office; wanting to discourage any notion that Ren might have about him sticking around. 

However, when Ren himself went and sat down on one of the other chairs, Hux worried that by not doing so himself, it would only result in making things even more awkward than they already were. Or rather, were going to be. To avoid this, Hux reluctantly followed suit with Ren and took a seat at the table.

“Would you like some tarine tea?” Ren asked suddenly, reaching over to a small teapot that was nearby. At the same time, Ren used his powers to levitate a couple of cups towards them. Hux wondered if Ren was purposely trying to show off to him or if it was merely an unconscious action, something which Ren gave very little thought to and for him would more or less be the equivalent of physically lifting with his hand.

Hux quickly forced down his curiosity. In any case, it appeared that Ren had the intention of treating him as a guest while he was here, making a quick exit for Hux even more unlikely. He supposed he could at least decline the offer of a drink, however. “Oh, I’m alright.”

Glancing at the teapot, Hux wondered how long it had actually been sat there on the table for. Surely the tea in it would be cold by now? That was unless Ren had boiled it just before he had shown up. But given that Ren appeared to be in the middle of meditating when he had arrived, that seemed doubtful.

“You sure? If you’re concerned about it being cold, don’t worry. I can easily heat it up,” said Ren, as if sensing his thoughts. It still made Hux somewhat uneasy knowing that Ren could read the minds of others if he so chose. Thankfully, Hux was confident enough in his own ability to construct mental barriers to know that Ren hadn’t. Furthermore, Hux was well aware from overhearing Ren interrogating prisoners in the past that if one tried to resist, having someone root through your head was an incredibly painful experience. It was something which Hux very much hoped never to have to go through himself.

“There’s no need to go out of your way. Especially when you only just sat down,” replied Hux, despite having declined the offer of tea already.

“It’s no problem. I can warm it up from right here.” Hux was momentarily confused about how that was possible before Ren went on to elaborate, “I can do it using the Force.”

Hux eyes widened mildly in surprise. “You can use your powers to even do something like that?” asked Hux before he could stop himself, knowing that he shouldn’t be showing interest in such a thing.

Ren grinned in return. “Sure. If you place your hand near the pot, you should be able to feel it warming up.”

While believing that he should respond with something along the lines of ‘I’ll take your word for it,’ or simply outright decline, Hux’s curiosity got the better of him and he found himself reaching his hand out to it.

“Don’t put you hand right on or you might scald yourself. Just a couple of inches away.” Hux wanted to reply that he wasn’t stupid enough to do something like that, but he refrained. In spite of this, he was left feeling rather stupid a moment later when Ren pointed out that to feel it properly, he should probably remove his gloves first.

“Oh, uh, yes, of course,” replied Hux, abashed, having forgotten that he had them on. And so, he proceeded to peel off the glove of his left hand, sure that having one off would more than suffice.

Hux raised his hand back to where it was previously while Ren stretched his own out to the teapot. Hux almost reflexively pulled his away, fearing contact, but when Ren’s hand remained on the other side of the pot, hovering a few inches away from it like his own, Hux decided it was safe to keep his where it was.

Closing his eyes, Ren took a deep breath. Hux, meanwhile remained silent, waiting for something to happen. And after about twenty seconds, it finally did, Hux slowly but surely feeling the temperature of the teapot increase, the water inside it heating up.

After a further ten seconds, Ren stopped, pulling his hand back, steam, now rising from the teapot.

“My, that certainly is impressive,” complimented Hux, truly meaning it. The amount of cups of caf that had gone cold on his desk because he had been too engrossed in what he was doing to remember to drink them or had had to leave them altogether because his presence was requested elsewhere on the ship, were too numerous to count. Occasionally he would drink the tea even if it was cold but having the ability to warm it up by simply willing it hotter with his mind would be a wonderfully convenient skill to possess.

“Thanks. Although I feel like out of all my abilities, that’s probably the least impressive of them. At least when it comes to its use in actual fights,” stated Ren. Having witnessed what Ren could do, Hux believed him completely. Nonetheless, he still found it rather intriguing.

“Hmm, yes. I daresay, unless your opponent has cold cup of tea or caf that they desperately want warming up and are willing to lay down their arms in order to get it, then such an ability would have very little practical use on the battlefield,” said Hux matter-of-factly, finding himself unable to resist teasing Ren a bit, “I would definitely suggest sticking with that lightsaber of yours.”

Ren let out a loud laugh at that. “You’re probably right,” agreed the knight, “My lightsaber has always proven to be the most effective weapon for killing my enemies.”

Hux found himself thinking that in the past that Ren probably would have gotten angry, taking Hux’s joking comment as him belittling the Force. Now however, it appeared that Ren had either developed a sense of humour or that his attitude towards Hux had softened immensely. Based on everything, Hux suspected it was the latter. Of course, in saying that, Hux’s own attitude towards Ren had softened significantly as well

Hux couldn’t help smiling in reaction to Ren’s laugh. While Ren’s smile was wonderful to look at, his laugh was something else entirely. It was such a lovely sound and Hux strongly suspected that he was one of the few people who had gotten to hear it. At least since Ren had joined the First Order and left his old life in the New Republic behind. In any case, it pleased Hux to hear.

However, so focused had Hux been on it that he had failed to notice Ren pouring the newly boiled tea into the two cups which sat next to the pot.

“Here,” said Ren, placing one of them down in front of Hux. Although Hux had previously declined the offer of tea, it apparently meant little to Ren. That or Ren had misconstrued Hux’s words or had simply just forgotten. At any rate, it appeared that Hux had no choice but to drink the tea, feeling that it would be rude not to now that it had actually been poured for him. He didn’t want it to go to waste after all, and so he picked it up, thanking Ren as he did so.

Fortunately, unlike food, it wasn’t exactly a struggle for him to consume. Nevertheless, Hux did find himself lamenting once again that tea or caf couldn’t be considered a proper substitute for actual food, try as hard as he might to make such a thing a reality.

Expecting the usual standard affair of First Order branded tea, Hux was taken aback when he took a small sip from the cup and became aware of just how nice it tasted. He was also quick to note that the scent of was stronger and the aroma more pleasing all around.

His face must have conveyed his confusion and surprise as Ren quickly went on to explain where he had gotten it from, informing Hux that he had first came across the tea by chance on some small outer rim world. While the planet itself produced very little of anything worth value, it was home to remarkable teas thanks both to the leaves that naturally grew there and the number of skilled herbalists who resided on the planet. As such, since tasting it, Ren mostly drank the tea that came from that world, having it regularly imported to the Finalizer. It was one of the small luxuries that Ren allowed himself from outside the First Order.

At this, Hux found himself thinking how no one would bat an eyelid about some imported tea. His suppressants on the other hand…Well, that was something else entirely.

Although he supposed thanks to Fahey, he didn’t have to worry about that anymore.

“I don’t drink a great deal of tea. At least not compared to you. Nevertheless, once I tasted this, I knew that I couldn’t go back to what the First Order had to offer,” clarified Ren, taking a drink from his own cup. Hux couldn’t say that he blamed him. It really did taste exquisite. As far as Hux was aware, he had never had tea from anywhere out with the First Order. In truth, he had assumed that all caf and tea tasted the same regardless of where it came from. Ren, however, had proven him otherwise, something the alpha seemed to be continually doing.

Hux was almost tempted to see if he could acquire some of the tea for himself when he suddenly recalled the soup that Ren had gotten for him towards the tail end of his heat. When he thought about it, that was two delicious things that Ren had introduced him to now.

Hux reluctantly placed his cup back down on the table, feeling that in spite of how delicious it tasted, it was no longer appropriate for him to have any more. He also probably already had more than enough caffeine this cycle anyway. That aside, he was well aware that he shouldn’t be sat here drinking tea and watching Ren show off his powers to him. But more importantly, despite how delightful Ren’s smile and laughter had been as a result of it, he shouldn’t have joked with him earlier, there being no doubt in Hux’s mind that he would be giving off the wrong impression. He really should know better.

Hux hated that he had allowed himself to be so easily compromised. It was something that he would never have permitted in the past.

“I can give you some tea take away with you if you’d like,” Ren offered affably, awakening Hux’s from his thoughts.

“Oh, that’s alright. I…I couldn’t accept that,” said Hux, trying to conceal both his dejection and the overall anger he felt towards himself. While he would have liked to have accepted it, he knew that he didn’t deserve anything more from Ren. Not when he had already taken so much from him already. The most dismaying thing for Hux, however, was that he knew that he would be able to offer Ren nothing in return. At least not the things he suspected that Ren might want from him.

“You sure? Honestly, it’s no bother,” replied Ren, “It’s easy to import and I know how much you like your tea and caf. I have a couple of other blends if you –”

“I’m fine,” Hux retorted abruptly, “The caf that the First Order provides is more than good enough for me. I don’t require anything other than that.” Yes. The First Order provided him with everything he needed, as it always would. He didn’t require anything else.

Ren looked disappointed by his refusal, but fortunately he didn’t try to press Hux into taking some. Hux just hoped Ren wouldn’t try and pressure him about anything else this evening.

Ren let out a sigh. “Well, the offer is there if you change your mind.” That was the least of his temptations, Hux thought miserably.

Silence followed as Ren took another drink of his tea. Hux, meanwhile had to resist picking up his own cup again, especially as it smelled so ridiculously appealing. Although not as appealing as something, or rather _someone_ else, his mind supplied rather unhelpfully.

Hux couldn’t help squirming somewhat uncomfortably in his seat. It wasn’t like him to fidget like this, the urge having been drilled out of him from a young age thanks to the punishments he received from doing it in his father’s presence. He always strived for perfect posture when in the company of others, it being something he usually didn’t even need to think twice about. But as he had come to learn, Ren’s presence resulted in him behaving in ways that were far from how he normally would. He supposed it was at least better than breaking down crying in from of him; something that Hux resolved never to do in front of Ren, let alone another human being ever again.

Eventually Ren broke the silence. “So, from those reports, I take it that things have been uneventful here?”

“For better or worse, yes. There has been no sign of the Resistance thus far,” Hux replied, relieved about the change in topic but still disappointed in regard to his lack of progress in locating them. Nonetheless, trying to keep positive and to reassure his co-commander, he added, “But I’m confident that they’ll reveal themselves to us sooner or later. They can’t stay hidden forever after all. It’s only a matter of time.”

Yes, and Hux would be ready for them once they did finally emerge from whatever hole they had crawled into. He was sure that Ren must feel as strongly as him about finding them. Or at least he had initially thought so before Ren responded to him.

“I know they will,” the knight replied simply before going onto ask, “And you, how have you been doing?”

Hux frowned at the question. Not so much because of the nature of it, but rather that Ren was completely bypassing the issue of the Resistance. Hux had expected at least some level of engagement on the subject given Ren’s strong connection to the Resistance; both from his mother being their leader and the scavenger girl from Jakku who had left Ren scarred apparently being in league with them. Surely, Ren’s primary focus above all else should be on wiping them out completely? Instead, he seemed almost blasé about it.

“I’m perfectly fine,” Hux replied, more curtly than he had intended, “I was able to resume my duties not long after your departure at my usual level of efficiency.”

“You don’t have to be concerned about any lapse in my abilities nor it having any negative impact on the functioning of the ship,” Hux couldn’t help but reiterate, fearing that Ren might believe him no longer fit to do his job. And while the way that Ren had spoken previously suggested that he thought otherwise, perhaps that had changed since he had been away and had more time to reflect on it.

“It’s not the running of the ship that I’m concerned about. I know you can handle things here fine,” said Ren. Hux was relieved to hear it, although less so of Ren’s next words. “I just hope that you didn’t overexert yourself and that you took the proper time to recover before returning considering how intense the heat you went through was. There’s also the fact that it was your very first one which can have a strong emotional impact on a person.”

Despite being fully aware that it was coming, Hux couldn’t help but wince at the subject of his heat being brought up. In a way, he was almost surprised that it had taken Ren so long to do so.

“After something like that, you would need a lot of rest.”

“I did rest. I was unconscious for three whole cycles, remember?” replied Hux, still ashamed that he had been confined to bed for all that length of time, unable to fulfil any of his duties. 

“While you might not remember it very well as you were fading into and out of consciousness, I knotted you several times throughout those cycles. You were still in the midst of you heat back then. And while you did spend more time asleep as time went on, it hardly counts as proper rest,” said Ren.

Hux frowned, it feeling a little bit like he was being reprimanded. “That’s not something for you to decide. You’re not the one who went through it.” While he had been exhausted, Hux had chosen to push through it and endure the fatigue as he worked, believing it a far better use of his time than moping about his quarters as his brain tried in vain to process everything that happened. It also helped distract him from how much he missed Ren.

“I know that, but most omegas usually take time to rest awhile after their heats. That’s what normally happens.”

“Yes, well, I’m hardly like most omegas, am I?” retorted Hux. And here he had been slowly edging his way to once again thinking of and seeing himself as a beta rather than an omega. “It’s not just a case of me taking some time off from doing housework or rearing infants, I’m in charge of a Star Destroyer and in a position of leadership which involves the thousands of men and women aboard this vessel looking to me for both guidance and stability.” And after the loss of Starkiller Base, that was more important than ever. “It’s hardly the same thing.”

“I know that things are a bit more complicated for you given your position,” said Ren. Hux thought that to be the understatement of the millennia. “But it’s best to take things easy after a heat.”

Hux sighed. He doubted that alphas were expected to ‘take it easy’ after they shared a heat with an omega.

“Doctor Fahey, the head physician cleared me for active duty himself. Surely, he should know best, shouldn’t he?” Hux may have pressured the doctor slightly to do so, but Ren didn’t need to know that. “However, if it makes you feel any better, I did wait and work from my quarters for another cycle or so before returning to the bridge and engaging and interacting with anyone aboard.”

Despite his words, Ren still looked troubled. “There were no issues,” Hux said more gently, wanting to reassure him, “Nor did I get the impression that anyone suspected anything unusual about my absence. As far as they were aware, I was away on an important mission for Leader Snoke. One that just so happened to coincide with yours, which I suppose in that case, made it all the more important that I return to duty as quickly as possible. After all, it wouldn’t do to have both commanders of this vessel away for too long, especially as the two of us were already absent from the bridge several cycles before you left,” added Hux, believing that it helped his argument. Not that he believed he should even have to justify himself in the first place.

“It was your very first heat. I shouldn’t have left you,” said Ren, once again sounding needlessly remorseful, “I should have at least tried to have the mission postponed for a few more cycles to make sure you got through your post-heat period alright.”

Hux thought that they had been over all of this already before Ren had departed, but apparently it was still bothering the man a great deal.

“Ren, that’s nonsense. Snoke would never have permitted such a thing and you know that. You shouldn’t feel guilty about something that’s out with your control,” Hux tried to reason.

Ren clenched his fists together. “It _should_ be in my control. _I_ should have been allowed to decide.” Hux’s eyes widened slightly, taken aback. It certainly wasn’t like Ren to question Snoke’s orders openly like this, nor to show genuine anger about said orders. Moreover, with the mention of control, one could possibly interpret Ren’s words as him wanting to take his master’s power and the authority that came with it for himself. And my, wouldn’t that be something, thought Hux.

It was unlikely however, and an issue for Hux to fret over another time. He had far too much on his plate already to be concerned about Ren wanting to claim the title of Supreme Leader for himself; a title that he had been eyeing for far longer and one that he had no intention of allowing someone to take from him.

“You work at the behest of both Leader Snoke and the First Order. You can’t just pick and choose what missions you are given and carry out, and certainly not when leaving for said mission is convenient for you,” stated Hux more firmly, a little miffed at Ren’s attitude, especially given the freedom that Ren was afforded in comparison to most within the Order, including himself. “Furthermore, while I do not know the details of your mission, it was evidently important since you were gone for almost a month and a half.”

Yes. Snoke wouldn’t have sent his prized apprentice away for such a long period of time for nothing. Not after the blow they had been dealt by the Resistance and the on-going risk of a counterattack at any time.

Ren looked further dismayed. “I didn’t think that I would be gone so long. I had hoped to be back much sooner, but the mission proved to be more… troublesome than I had predicted.” It must have been, thought Hux, considering that Ren had all, or at least some of his knights with him.

“I’m sure that it couldn’t be helped. In any case, you succeeded in completing it otherwise you wouldn’t be here,” replied Hux, suddenly reminded of Snoke’s words back when he had asked about when Ren was expected to return.

Ren sighed, finally unclenching his fists. “Still, it was your first heat, and as your alpha –” Ren stopped before immediately going on to correct himself. Strangely, Hux’s heart skipped a beat at the mis-slip, although he couldn’t exactly explain why. “Uh, that is, as the alpha you shared your heat with, I should have been here for you while you recovered. Any alpha worth their salt would have stayed behind to ensure that you were okay.” Ren clearly had a far more idealised view of alphas than Hux did and while there was a part of him that wanted to point out how wrong Ren was in his assessment, right now that was neither here nor there. There was something that Hux did wish Ren to understand, however.

“Ren don’t be ridiculous,” he said, not unkindly, “You already went above and beyond anything of what I could possibly have expected from you. I was so sure that once you had finished…well knotting me –” Hux still couldn’t help feeling slightly embarrassed when saying such things out loud. “– that you would have left my quarters without a second thought. But instead, you remained by my side for several more cycles and even went out and got me food to ensure that I had something substantial to eat when I properly woke up.

“I will say for the record however, that you got far too much. It ended up lasting me a good few cycles. Honestly, I don’t think my conservator has ever been so full before.” Not since his father previously occupied the place anyway, Brendol never having been shy about taking advantage of his rank to get access to the best foods the Order had to offer.

Ren perked up at this, giving a slight smile. “You ate what I brought you?”

Hux nodded. “I did. Well, most of it,” admitted Hux. It had definitely been a challenge to eat and somewhat painful emotionally as it had only served to remind him of Ren and how much he missed his company. The alpha didn’t need to know about that, however. “Anyway, I find it utterly impossible to envision anyone else but you go out of their way like that solely for my sake.” It was even more touching given their past animosity towards one and other. While it had always been there in the back of his mind, it was only after Ren had left, that it really struck Hux that instead of treating him with kindness as he had done, Ren could easily have chosen to be cruel, doing whatever he pleased with him, Hux to helpless to fight back from his weakened state. Not that Hux believed that he stood a chance against Ren normally, even had he had a blaster in his hand.

“As you can see now, I’m perfectly fine. And that’s all thanks to you, Ren. I owe you a great de –” Hux paused, suddenly recalling how uncomfortable Ren had become when he had mentioned being indebted to him before. And so, deciding to rephrase it, Hux said, “Well, I owe you a great deal of gratitude for what you did for me. And if there’s anything I can do in return, please let me know.”

Ren smile softened. “I was just happy to help, but you’re welcome.” Hux couldn’t stop himself from smiling in return.

“I thought about you a lot while I was on my mission you know.”

“I thought a lot about you a great deal as well,” confessed Hux, although he had successfully managed to stop thinking about Ren quite as much in recent weeks.

Hux immediately scolded himself. That wasn’t the point. He shouldn’t be admitting such things to Ren. It was just going to make things even more difficult in the long run.

“I wanted to contact you while I was away to check in on you, but with the nature of my mission, it made it –”

Hux held up his hand. “It’s alright, Ren. I know very well how those things go.” Hux decided not to say that it was for the best that Ren couldn’t contact him. For both of their sakes. It helped that for Hux, absence didn’t make the heart grow fonder. At least after a certain period of time. Now, however, with Ren right there next to him, Hux had no idea what he felt.

“Still, it’s a great relief to know that everything was fine here while I was gone. Or rather that you’ve been alright. Especially in the aftermath of your heat.”

“I’m not that fragile, and in truth I’ve dealt with far worse than that,” stated Hux. As painful as his heat had been for him, he still believed living under Brendol as a young child unable to defend himself had been worse, and in many ways, more distressing. While it was true that his father had never did anything to actively endanger his life, it certainly said something that he considered his life under him to be the more traumatic experience to go through.

Ren looked momentarily pained before his expression shifted to a more pleasant one. “I don’t think I said before, but you look really good, or, uh, rather you look well that is.” Hux thought he saw tinge of pink on Ren’s cheeks, almost as if he were blushing. Such a thing seemed impossible however, with Hux sure that he must be mistaken. Perhaps he was simply projecting his own previous awkwardness and embarrassment onto Ren.

“Oh, thank you. Although considering the grisly state you last saw me in, I should hope so,” Hux said lightly. He was thankful knowing that he wouldn’t have to worry about being coated in that amount of sweat or slick ever again, that single heat being more than enough to last a lifetime.

Ren chuckled at this. “Grisly definitely isn’t the word that I would use to describe how you looked last time I saw you, Hux.”

Hux wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to hear how Ren would describe him. Either it would be worse than grisly in which he would be left further mortified, or Ren would say something that would cause his heart to skip a beat.

“So, I’m guessing that you’re back to using your pheromone blocking soaps then,” said Ren.

“Ah, yes. I fear that if didn’t then I would be unable to leave my quarters nor interact with another human being ever again.” If that the case, he would be forced to rely solely on droids. Of course, given some of the people he had to deal with, perhaps that wouldn’t be such a sad fate.

“Well, not every human being,” highlighted Ren.

Hux thought for a moment. “Well, I suppose it is true that Fahey is aware of my true designation and has been regularly monitoring my health since I went into heat. Although, I can’t say I’d enjoy having him as my only source of company,” mused Hux. He didn’t dislike the man at all but given what he had come to associate Fahey with, he would never feel truly comfortable around him.

“Come on. I was referring to myself,” said Ren, almost looking like he was pouting.

“Oh, of course,” replied Hux, finding the expression on Ren’s face strangely endearing. Hux would definitely take Ren’s company over Fahey’s. Regrettably, that just wasn’t possible, whether he be confined to his quarters or not. And just like Fahey, the unfortunate association of his heat and omega designation would always be there.

“Anyway, thankfully, it hasn’t come to that,” Hux continued. The several cycles away from the bridge had been torturous enough and that was despite being unconscious for most of it. “Not being able to leave my quarters wouldn’t be particularly conducive to running a ship after all.”

“Well, if anyone could make it work, I’m sure it’d be you,” said Ren earnestly.

Hux smiled. He couldn’t describe how good it made him feel when Ren actually acknowledged his talents instead of questioning or dismissing them. On the hand, Hux disliked just how good Ren’s approval made him feel. It wasn’t something that he should need or even want and yet it affected him so much that he appeared to be no longer capable of properly schooling his expressions.

At the very least, Hux believed that he had been successful in assuring Ren that he was in fact fine and that there was nothing more he needed to be concerned about. He wondered if perhaps simply knowing that he was alright was what Ren had meant when he told him he wished to talk; that there really had been nothing on his mind more than that. Ren, despite how he came across, seemed to possess a degree of compassion after all. Far more than himself anyway. Although Hux at least had enough of it not to want to hurt Ren.

It was for that reason that he thought it best to make a quick retreat now so as to leave on a positive note. Furthermore, from watching the knight these past five years, he was also aware that Ren’s moods were quite variable and he didn’t wish to anything to ruin his seemingly good mood. In any case, it certainly demonstrated how much things had changed in his relationship with Ren, that Hux was actually worried overt the alpha’s emotional state.

“Well, I suppose now that I’ve sufficiently convinced you that I’m in good health and that there’s no need for you to worry, I should probably take my leave,” announced Hux, “I don’t want to take up anymore of your time and I’m sure that you must be tired from your mission. I imagine you’d also appreciate some time to yourself if your knights where with you the entire time.”

“No. You’re not taking up my time!” declared Ren. He reached his hand out towards Hux’s, just falling short of actually touching him, much to Hux’s relief. “I glad that you’re here. That you came. Plus, there’s still something important that I’d like to discuss with you.”

“O-Oh?” Hux had the sinking suspicion that it had absolutely nothing to do with the ship or overall First Order business.

“Unless now isn’t a good time, that is.” Hux doubted that there ever would be one. “I know that you’ve been busy this cycle.”

“No, please go ahead,” urged Hux in spite of his immense trepidation. It was so overwhelming in fact that he failed to notice that Ren appeared almost as anxious as him.

“Well, the truth is, I was wondering how you intend on spending your next heat.”

Hux immediately stilled. “My next heat?”

Ren nodded. “I guess maybe it’s a little premature at the moment, but if you haven’t made any arrangements yet, I wanted to let you know that I’d be happy to spend it with you,” said Ren, sounding incredibly hopeful, “When I wasn’t focusing on my mission, it was all I could think about. Being with you again. Getting to share another one of your heats.”

Hux’s breath caught in his throat. He had no idea how to reply. “You…”

“I’ve been with several omegas in heat before, but I’ve never experienced anything near as incredible as what I did when I was with you.”

Hux frowned slightly. “Yes, well, I’m sure that’s only because it was my first one,” uttered Hux, “The second time wouldn’t be as nearly as memorable for you so there would be no worry of missing out.”

Ren shook his head. “No. I don’t believe that at all. I’m sure it would be even better. And not just for me either. I know how frightening your first heat was for you.” Hux had to fight back the impulse to argue that he wasn’t frightened, however, after what Ren had witnessed that very first night, him breaking down in tears and declaring that he couldn’t go through with it, there was absolutely no denying it. “But your next heat, it will be different, I know it.”

“How so?” asked Hux, despite himself.

“Well, for starters, you’ll know what to expect this time around. You won’t be caught off guard. And since it wouldn’t be decades between your last heat, it shouldn’t be nearly as intense either. Although, no less pleasurable, I’m sure” explained Ren, grinning. “Plus, I can help you prepare. You won’t need to worry about a thing. I’d take care of everything. I’d take care of _you_.”

Was Ren really so eager to go out of his way for him again? To waste several more cycles of his life on him.? While Hux lacked experience himself, surely, in spite of what Ren said, the sex couldn’t have been that good? At least not for Ren anyway. Hux also noted that Ren seemed rather fixated on taking care of him, making Hux wonder just how pathetically helpless he actually managed to come across as.

“So, how about it?” Ren asked eagerly.

Panic arose within Hux upon realising that he didn’t want to disappoint Ren. He knew that many omegas out there actively sought the approval from the alphas around them, especially the ones who they had been or wished to become intimate with. His medication, however, should be suppressing such instincts. And even if not, his will alone should be enough to quell such inclinations.

“Hux?” Ren probed when he didn’t respond.

“I…”

“Sorry, I guess I kind of put you on the spot,” apologised Ren, “I just thought that after what we shared together, that you might want…” This time, it was Ren who trailed off, pulling his hand back. At least unlike him, Ren was still capable of stringing actual sentences together rather than the single syllable words. “There’s no pressure. You don’t have to give me an answer right now,” Ren continued, looking almost self-conscious, “Just think about it and –”

“I can’t!” blurted Hux, finally able to get more than one word out. “I can’t share my next heat with you because I… I never intended on there being another one to begin with.”

Ren’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean there won’t be another one?”

“It’s exactly how it sounds. I refuse to go into heat again,” Hux stated resolutely in hopes of concealing his anxiety, “That’s why a few cycles after my heat ended, I began taking suppressants again and –”

“You started taking suppressants again so soon?!” cried Ren, sounding generally shocked

“Of course, I did,” answered Hux, believing that something so obvious shouldn’t be so surprising, “I could have hardly returned to my duties if I hadn’t. Those pheromone blocking soaps and sprays can only do so much after all, and I couldn’t afford to take the risk of going out there and having one of my officers pick up on my natural scent.”

Ren sighed heavily. “Just another reason why you should have stayed in your quarters for longer.” Hux was disappointed. He thought that they had finally gotten past that; that he had gotten Ren to realise that returning to his duties when he had hadn’t been a mistake but rather a necessity. Both for the sake of the ship and his own sanity.

“It just seems really irresponsible of you to start taking them again so soon after that heat. Especially considering how abnormal it was.”

Hux frowned. Really, Ren was one to talk about acting irresponsibly.

“Were you positive that your heat was completely over when you started taking them again?”

“Of course,” answered Hux, more than a little bit insulted that Ren didn’t trust him enough to know, “You saw for yourself before you left that I was doing much better compared to before.”

“You were,” agreed Ren, “Still that doesn’t mean you should have jumped straight back into taking suppressants the second you stopped feeling the effects of your heat.”

“Fahey didn’t seem to have an issue with it, and as I said before, as a doctor, shouldn’t he know what’s best for my health?”

In truth, Fahey had tried convincing him to hold off taking any suppressants again for a period to allow his body to reacclimatise itself and recover from the strain it had undergone, the good doctor even going as far as to suggest that Hux go through another heat cycle. Hux, of course, had shot the idea down immediately. Such a thing was absolutely out of the question, and really Ren should know that as well. Evidently, they both underestimated his importance to the Order; something which on principle, Hux refused to let either one of them forget. Sadly, Hux had to admit, it was Ren’s lack of acknowledgement of his worth within the Order, something that he had dedicated his entire life to, that stung the most.

“I’m beginning to seriously question this doctor’s judgement,” growled Ren, looking extremely displeased.

“You shouldn’t. Fahey is an exceptional physician,” retorted Hux, feeling the need to defend the man who had both treated him well and had kept his true designation a secret from others. “Anyway, I’ve taken them now so unless your powers allow you to go back in time and prevent me from doing so, there’s nothing to be done about it.” Ren remained silent, Hux, suspecting that he was wishing he could do exactly that.

The mention of Ren’s powers reminded Hux of the sad fact that a little over ten minutes ago, he had been sat there being awed by Ren showing off his ability to warm up tea through his use of the Force.

If only he hadn’t brought up his heat, thought Hux, disheartened. He would have left to return to his own quarters, and the evening would have ended on a pleasant note. But instead, he was stuck here and placed in the uncomfortable position of having to justify his actions. 

“In any case, given that it’s been over a month, it would be pointless to suddenly stop taking them now,” stated Hux, hoping that would be the end of it, “Anyway, just as they have done for me all these years, they will prevent me from going into heat again.”

“If I remember correctly, the whole reason why you went into heat in the first place was because they stopped having any effect on you; that it was the suppressants that caused you to have such a bad reaction and hard time with your heat,” countered Ren.

Hux winced, still clearly able to recall the shock and horror he felt when Fahey had informed him.

“That…that just happened to be an unfortunate mishap,” murmured Hux, eliciting a snort from Ren.

“Considering that you almost died, that’s quite the understatement.”

Hux had to stop himself flinching again, instead choosing to press on. “Well, in any case, they’re clearly working now. I wouldn’t be sat here talking to you otherwise. And given that I went through that heat cycle in its entirety, I’m positive that that should be it the end of it. That there’s no reason for me to be concerned anymore.”

“Oh?” Ren remained unconvinced.

“Yes. Evidently, my body just needed a bit of a reprieve from the suppressants I’ve been taking all this time, and now that all of those awful pent-up toxins that caused the heat in the first place have been purged from my body, I do believe that there shouldn’t be any more issues.”

“Considering that you’ve been on suppressants continuously since you first presented as an omega almost two decades ago, I would say that less than a week hardly constitutes as any sort of reprieve for your body,” replied Ren.

Hux wanted to grit his teeth. No matter what he said, Ren seemed to find fault with it and it was causing him to become increasingly more frustrated. He would he even go as far as to say that their current interaction felt more reminiscence of the dynamic they shared prior to Hux sharing his heat with Ren. And while it was certainly true that Hux had wished for a return to normality, he hadn’t wanted them to go back to being hostile with one and other. But regardless of this, Hux refused to back down.

“Well, it counts as a reprieve if you’re me,” stated Hux, “I haven’t had a full cycle away from my duties in years.” Hux stopped for a moment, holding up his hand. “And before you say anything, no, I do not mind that I’ve never been afforded a proper break as it has allowed me to dedicate more time to the Order.” Hux had always been proud of his commitment to his duties, and as far as he was aware had spent all these years working harder than anyone else. His efforts had paid off, allowing him to reach a rank that many of his fellow officers at his age wouldn’t achieve for many a year, _if_ at all. “Surely something like that could never be considered a bad thing.”

Ren, however, did not appear to share this sentiment. “Not when it costs you your health.”

Anger arose within Hux towards Ren for ignoring his unyielding devotion and commendable work ethic once again. “Well, perhaps I’m just not quite as self-centred as you are! As I for one, am actually willing to put something far greater and more important than myself first!”

Ren huffed loudly, looking both offended and hurt.

Hux immediately regretted his words, well aware that they weren’t true. While Hux didn’t believe Ren to be as invested in the success of the Order as he was, what with the Knight of Ren having his own agendas as well as distractions thanks to his obsession with the Force, just as Hux had said to him before, Ren had gone above and beyond for him, putting Hux’s needs before his own. It was the exact opposite of self-centredness. “Ren, I’m sorry,” Hux began to apologise, “I didn’t mean to imply that –”

“How can you even be so sure that your suppressants won’t just stop working like before?” quizzed Ren, “That you won’t end up going into heat again?”

“Well, Doctor Fahey has regularly been monitoring my vitals, as well as taking blood samples, the results of which have all came back fine. As it stands, I’m in good health,” Hux answered, somewhat disheartened that Ren had ignored his attempts at an apology.

“But that can change, right? I mean when you went into heat before it caught you completely off-guard. You weren’t prepared for it at all.”

“That was different. I hadn’t known what to expect back then. And as I explained there was a reason for that. Anyway, it was almost two whole decades between when I first presented and my body attempted a heat, and when I finally did go into one. As such, isn’t it likely there would be a similar length of time between my next heat? And that’s if it were to even occur. Given how far in the future that is, it affords me plenty of time to prepare,” Hux rationalised, hopeful that Ren would finally accept his logic.

Hux was also optimistic of this due to the fact that heat cycles tended to wane quite a bit once an omega reached middle-age. If he was really lucky, then he might be able to bypass the whole miserable process entirely. And even if that wasn’t the case, Hux fully intended to have taken up the mantle of Supreme Leader for himself one way or another by the time he got to that stage of his life. Once he was Supreme Leader, it wouldn’t be at all difficult for him to simply disappear for a few cycles. He wouldn’t be required to fabricate some excuse to explain his absence either. If he declared that he was going somewhere, no one would be brave enough to dare question it. Hux longed desperately for that kind of power. And he wasn’t going to allow anything or anyone to get in the way of him finally obtaining it.

“But you don’t know that for certain. And after what you had to endure with your body warring against you like that, do you really want to take the risk of it happening again?” Ren challenged.

“It’s exactly because of what my body had to endure that I never want to have to go through it again!” yelled Hux, his anger flaring back up, replacing his momentary guilt, “And that’s why I’m willing to take as many suppressants as necessary to prevent it.”

“Hux, your heat is completely natural, it’s not something that you need to be frightened of,” said Ren, speaking more softly now, “Without any suppressants intervening, I’m sure it will be a lot easier on your body, not to mention way less intense than your first one. Like I said, I can help you prepare for it, and if I knot you right away then –”

“Stop it!” shouted Hux, growing increasingly distressed. He almost felt as if he were at war with himself, wanting to firmly defend and stand behind the decisions he had already made while also wishing to placate Ren. But alas, enough was enough and if Ren refused to at least try to understand where he was coming from then he wasn’t going to hold back any longer.

“You claim that I’m taking stupid risks because I don’t know exactly how my body will react, but the truth is neither do you! And yet here you sit berating me and criticising my decisions as if you have any right to do so.”

“I’m not trying to criticise you!” cried Ren before letting out a sigh. “I…I just think that you’re making a big mistake is all.”

Hux scoffed. “Perhaps you’re right, maybe I am making a mistake. But the last time, I checked, it’s my body and I can choose to do with it as I so please.” 

“That’s true, but I’m not just going to just go along with and stay silent when I don’t agree with what you’re doing,” replied Ren, “All I want to do is help you.”

“I don’t recall asking for your opinion or your help. And I certainly don’t require your approval. I was simply informing you as courtesy as you enquired about my heat and refused to drop the subject.”

“You may not have come to me for help this time, but you did once before. Surely that counts for something?” asked Ren, almost pleadingly.

“I…” Hux paused for moment before reminding himself that he needed to remain strong, “As I said, I’m deeply appreciative of all that you did for me, Ren. I owe you my utmost gratitude, I do. But that’s all I owe. Just because you knotted me, it doesn’t give you some claim over what I do with my body or whether I can or cannot take suppressants. That’s my decision alone to make,” Hux stated resolutely.

“Hux, I’m not trying to –”

“There’s so many omegas out there, unable to get access to suppressants because the alphas around them forbid them from taking them. It’s sickening. I absolutely refuse to let the same happen to me!” continued Hux, immense anxiety swirling around inside of him at the very thought of such a fate befalling him.

“Hux, that’s not what I meant at all!” cried Ren, sounding horrified, “Not that I believe I’d even be capable of forcing you, but I would never make you do something like that. Believe me.”

Hux remained silent, not sure what to think anymore. The thought of being in the same position as so many other omegas within the Order and the galaxy at large terrified him. Not to mention the disheartening notion that after everything, Ren might feel the exact same as all the other alphas out there. It was a notion that Hux struggled to believe however, unable reconcile it with the patient and comforting way Ren had responded to him both during and after his heat.

“Look, I understand why you want to keep taking suppressants, I really do,” Ren said gently, “I just think that it’s best if you take a break from them every once and a while so that you can go into heat.”

Hux shook his head. “I don’t understand. For what possible reason would you want me to go through something that caused me such distress? It was awful! Are you really that desperate to knot me again?” accused Hux, his doubts about Ren’s intentions lingering despite everything that suggested the contrary.

“While I would like to knot you again, this isn’t about me. It’s about ensuring that you don’t get sick again,” replied Ren, “It’s not just you who has to worry about such things. It’s said that all omegas should go through a heat cycle at regular intervals to ensure long-lasting health. And considering you’ve only had one in your entire life...”

“Yes, well, as we’ve established already, I’m not like most omegas, am I?” Hux retorted, somewhat petulantly. Instead of being annoyed by it, however, Ren offered him a small smile.

“No. You’re definitely not,” said Ren, the fondness in his voice causing Hux’s resolve to waver ever so slightly.

“I know it couldn’t have been pleasant with everything your body was going through, but your heat wasn’t all bad, was it?”

“No. Not all of it,” Hux admitted reluctantly as he tried to suppress the memories of the incredible sensations that Ren had aroused in him when they had been together, Hux having no idea before then that it was possible to feel that kind of pleasure quite so deeply. If one focused solely on that, Hux supposed he could understand why going into heat remained appealing for many omegas out there. The price, however, was far too much for him to pay.

“There were parts of it I enjoyed very much but…” Hux shook his head again. “No, that’s not the point.”

“No, the point is your wellbeing,” said Ren, “Just know that if you did allow me to share your heat with you again, I would take care of you. You wouldn’t have to feel scared or be worried about a thing. You’d be completely safe with me just like you were before. I promise you.”

Ren sounded so utterly earnest that Hux thought it would be difficult for even the most distrusting of people not to believe in the sincerity of his words.

“I know that,” replied Hux, sadly; a part of him desperately wanting to take Ren up on his offer. He couldn’t, however. It was impossible at this point, which he supposed for his sake was just as well. “But I can’t accept your offer. I’ve already gone back to my life as a beta. It’s the designation I’ve thought of and presented myself to others as all these years. It’s not something I can easily separate myself from again.”

“I’m not suggesting that you should give up your beta identity altogether. You would only have to think of yourself as an omega during the run up to and when you’re actually in heat. It would be for a few cycles at most,” clarified Ren, “You wouldn’t need to reveal it to anybody else. Only I would know. To everyone you’d still be that strong-willed beta General that they all respect.”

“Instead of a weak-willed omega who doesn’t have the strength to get through a heat cycle without the aid of an alpha,” muttered Hux, dejectedly.

Ren frowned. “That’s not what I meant.” 

“I know you didn’t,” replied Hux, apologetic, “But what it is that you’re asking of me, it isn’t that simple.”

“Why not?” questioned Ren.

Hux sighed. “It just isn’t.”

After several moments of Ren staring at him expectantly, Hux looked away. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Yes, it would be impossible for Ren to. And Hux couldn’t exactly blame him for it either. It was an experience that would be difficult for anyone to grasp had they not gone through it themselves. A minimal requirement would be them also having to have spent a large chunk of their lives hiding a fundamental part of themselves. Someone who was an alpha, a designation which was celebrated and revered wouldn’t be able to relate to such as thing.

“Well, try and it explain it to me,” urged Ren, his adamance in getting an explanation out of him, reigniting Hux’s previous frustration. It was pointless to try and explain. And really, he shouldn’t have to either. He was tired of having to constantly justify himself.

“No. I’ve indulged you enough as it is already,” said Hux, still refraining from looking at Ren.

“What do you mean you’ve _indulged me_?”

Hux turned his gaze back to Ren, forcing himself to look him in the eyes. “I asked you for your help in my moment of shame and weakness and in return for helping me, you got the opportunity to be with an omega in heat. Given that we both got what we wanted –” Or rather ‘needed’ in his own case, “– out of the arrangement, shouldn’t that be the end of it?”

“It may have started out as just an arrangement, but it became so much more that, and I know that you’re aware of that too,” retorted Ren.

“I am aware,” Hux agreed, realising that it would be pointless to try and deny it, “And that’s exactly why I can’t indulge…well, _this_ , any longer,” he corrected, realising that it wasn’t only Ren who he was indulging, but also himself. “I believe that it would be for the best if things returned to the way they were between us prior to you helping me through my heat.”

It pained Hux to think about, but if that’s what it took, then…

Ren, meanwhile, looked shocked, reminding Hux of just how truly expressive Ren’s face was. If he hadn’t been aware that the mask the alpha wore was probably more a homage to his grandfather than anything else, he could completely understand why Ren would want to wear a mask to hide his exposing facial expressions. They were so incredibly open. Unlike him, Ren probably hadn’t had to grow up schooling his them in order to conceal his emotions from others. As far as Hux was aware, the New Republic encouraged openness with them.

“You can’t be serious. You don’t honestly want that,” accused Ren, disbelieving, “You can’t really want things to go back to the way they were before between us.”

Once again, Hux found himself hesitating. It was true, he didn’t want that at all. But again he had little choice. Nevertheless…

“It doesn’t have to be the exact same as it was before. Not when it comes to our working relationship, at least,” proposed Hux, “I know that we’ve not always seen eye-to-eye on a great deal many of things over the years, and while I’m sure that we’ll continue to have our differences, we’ve demonstrated that we can in fact be cordial to one and other.”

Ren scoffed at this, evidently unimpressed. “So, you want us to improve our working relationship, but what of the one we share outside of that?” They had never shared one outside of their work. Or at least, they hadn’t before. However, it appeared that those several cycles they had spent together was enough to make Ren to think otherwise. In some ways, it seemed that Ren was almost as emotionally affected by his heat as Hux was. ‘Almost’ being the operate word. And unlike Hux, he didn’t need to deal with any of the biological repercussions. Not in the same way.

“Outside of a profession capacity, I believe we should have little contact with each other. That we continue to keep to ourselves as we did before.”

“Why?” demanded Ren, slamming a clenched fist down harshly on the table, causing the cups to wobble and making Hux flinch, “I don’t understand you!” Suddenly Hux felt as if he was a small boy again, forced to sit at the dinner table and eat a meal with his father despite his father’s blatant disdain for him. He would often get mad and slam his fists against the table when he got angry too. Hux was no longer a little boy, however. He wouldn’t just sit there and cower.

“Well, for starters, I’m sure that working together without feeling the need to act defensively against nor antagonise one and other would increase efficiency on the ship. It may even boost the morale of officers on the bridge if they come to see us as more of a united front,” Hux offered in response.

“That’s not what I’m talking about. And you know that,” Ren shot back, angrily. Hux did.

“But shouldn’t that be what we’re discussing? We are here to serve the First Order after all. And that’s the most important thing.”

“Forget about the Order!” the alpha demanded. Ren paused, taking a breath. “At least for a minute,” he implored more softly.

“Fine,” Hux agreed reluctantly.

“So, putting aside the obvious pleasure you experienced when I fucked and knotted you.” Hux couldn’t help but grimace slightly at the familiar vulgarity and crudeness of Ren’s words. “I know that you were relieved that I was there with you. Also that you were able to find genuine a comfort in my presence. An _emotional comfort_ ,” Ren reiterated, “Not just a physical one.”

“That was purely down to my hormones being out of balance due to my heat. My omega instincts had taken over causing me to seek out comfort from an available alpha. The alpha in question of course just so happened to be you. Also your own pheromones were having a direct effect on my body and my mind. There was nothing I could do to stop it,” Hux defended. While Hux wanted wholly to believe that, in truth, he wasn’t entirely sure if it was his heat and Ren’s pheromones or if it had been Ren’s uncharacteristic display of kindness and patience towards him that had brought those long thought buried emotions to the surface of him.

“Anyway, as I’m sure you can recall –” Much better than himself in any case. “– I was hardly in my right state of my mind during that period.

“That’s not true. At least not for the entirety of your heat,” Ren contested.

While it was true that despite feeling faint and slightly dazed, he had at least been well enough to sit down and share a meal with Ren and carry on a conversation. Nevertheless, given that he had been drifting in and out of consciousness requiring him to stay in bed for three entire cycles prior to that, Hux very much believed that he was correct in his assessment of not being in his usual state of mind.

“You’ve known me long enough to know that I would never have behaved in such a disgraceful manner had I not been under some kind of undue influence. Doesn’t that alone prove it?” challenged Hux, “I’m sure that you’ve been with enough omegas in the past to note the difference in behaviour between those in heat and those who are not.”

The changes in behaviours and scent were one of the few things that Hux believed himself to actually share in common with others of the same designation as him, and he hoped that highlighting this shared trait amongst all omegas would work in his favour.

“While it’s true that many inhibitions are stripped away during heat, there’s at least some level of awareness and control throughout it. That goes for both omegas and alphas,” replied Ren.

“Well, I certainly don’t remember feeling like I had any control whatsoever,” sniffed Hux. And while it was true that alphas often appeared to have trouble controlling themselves around omegas in heat, they faced nowhere near the same level of incapacitation or stress as omegas did. It was scarcely even comparable.

Ren shook his head. “I don’t agree. From the moment you went into heat you resisted it with all of your might in spite of the pain that it caused you. Even though your body craved to be knotted by an alpha, your mind couldn’t accept it because of how terrified you were. But once you calmed down, you relaxed enough to let yourself trust me and knot you.”

“That…That’s because I didn’t have any other option. It was a simple case of giving into those urges or perishing,” replied Hux. Hux knew that there was more to it than that. In one instance, he had been fully prepared to accept his fate, convinced that he couldn’t go through with being knotted. Or at least that had been the case until Ren managed to persuade him otherwise.

“Maybe so,” said Ren, “But it was still your choice.”

Hux’s eyes widened slightly. It was true. In all honesty, Hux couldn’t see himself letting his guard down enough to allow anyone but Ren knot him. Had he been with someone else, another alpha, there was a good chance he wouldn’t even be here right now. He supposed he really had trusted Ren. And even if the decision had been made with Hux just barely managing to hang onto his last iota of rationale, he had still made the choice.

Of course after that, other than an aching need interspersed with intense pleasure, much of what had occurred between he and Ren was a blur; broken fragments barely registering in his memory.

“Maybe so but I like to have my wits about me at all times. When I’m in heat, my mental capabilities are reduced greatly. Not to mention, I can hardly do anything for myself,” said Hux, “That’s another reason why I don’t want to go through it again.”

During those three cycles, Ren at some point had lifted him off the bed and stripped it bare. He had replaced the sheets with clean ones before going on to wipe away the copious amount of slick and semen coating Hux’s body, Hux helpless and lacking both the physical dexterity and enough awareness of his surroundings to do it himself. Despite being something that he could remember very little of, it filled Hux with deep-seated and what he suspected would be ever-lasting humiliation.

“I also refuse to make a further mockery of myself.”

“I thought I told you that you have nothing to be ashamed about when you’re in heat? It’s sad how caught up you’ve allowed yourself to be over something that’s completely natural,” Ren lamented.

“Well, it’s not natural for me!” snapped Hux, “That’s what I’ve been trying to bloody well say.”

“Do you really hate being an omega that much?” questioned Ren as if the notion that Hux could possibly feel that way pained him greatly.

Hux exhaled wearily. “It’s not whether I like or dislike it, it’s the fact that I can’t afford to acknowledge it.”

“Even to yourself? And even if denying it means endangering your health or risking your own life?”

“Yes, Ren. Even to myself. And to be clear, the risk of losing everything I’ve build and worked for all these years is a far greater threat to me than the now faint possibility of endangering my life.” In spite of Ren’s insistence, Hux still refused to believe that he would go into heat again anytime soon. Not now that he was back to taking suppressants regularly.

“But again, it’s not like anyone would find out. You’ve managed to hide it well enough all this time. Even from me. Truly I had no idea. Not at all.” Hux thought Ren sounded almost embarrassed and couldn’t help but wonder if Ren was embarrassed that he hadn’t realised it before. Hux had no idea why he would feel that way given that as Ren had said already, Hux had hidden it well. Perhaps it was simply that due to being a Force-user, Ren thought he should be privy to the thoughts and secrets of others, or at least be able to pick up on them.

In any case, it would certainly be easier for him if it had remained a secret from Ren. He wouldn’t be having this incredibly stress-inducing conversation right now for starters.

“I know you had no idea, and I intend on it remaining that way for everyone else within the First Order.”

“You won’t need to worry about anyone finding out,” said Ren, “I wouldn’t tell a soul, I promise.”

“I believe you,” admitted Hux, for he did, “But that isn’t the issue. There’s a reason why I’ve been able to conceal my true designation all these years and that’s because unlike alphas and other omegas, and betas as well for that matter, I lack the desire that makes me want to go and seek out sexual relations or to establish emotional connections with others. I know that it makes me unusual and perhaps even abnormal, but not having them has rather worked out in my favour. That’s why if I were to suddenly let my guard down and start indulging in such things, there’s a strong chance I’d be discovered. I couldn’t possibly risk such a thing.”

“Well, what if you didn’t have to go out and seek those things? If they happened behind closed doors, there would be no risk to take,” said Ren.

“Haven’t you been listening?” asked Hux, “I already said that I’ve never possessed those sorts of desires in the first place.”

“But that was before, wasn’t it? Before you got to experience them properly yourself for the first time during your heat.” Hux frowned, not liking what Ren was getting at. “And prior to that, wasn’t it that you were simply denying those desires to yourself?”

“I, like everyone else in the academy, was never encouraged to form any kind of strong emotional connections with my fellow cadets, so I could hardly be denying myself the desire to do so,” replied Hux. While it was true that developing meaningful friendships was frowned upon and considered a weakness and a disadvantage when it came to competing against and advancing over one’s classmates, Hux hadn’t been totally devoid of the desire to establish some sort of bond and develop a close sense camaraderie with another. In fact, he almost did at one point. Or perhaps, _had_ would be more apt. It had been with a boy who he had shared a dorm with along with several other cadets. That was a long time ago however, and not worth reflecting upon. Hux certainly wasn’t going to bring it up in already incredibly uncomfortable discussion, and so he continued on.

“As for any sexual urges, those all but died the moment I presented as an omega. Given how long ago that was, it’s the same as them having not existed at all.”

“Couldn’t that have just been a reaction to discovering that you’re an omega given you knew that you would have to hide it?”

“It was more than that. It would have been difficult for me to snuff them out completely if so,” Hux argued weakly, unsure if he actually believed himself. While there was the possibility that he might have pursued romantic and sexual relationships with others if he had been born a beta, that was neither here nor there. It wasn’t relevant to his current situation.

“But you experienced those desires again during your heat, didn't you? You were aroused during it, right?”

That was something he couldn’t deny, Ren having seen how he acted back then first-hand. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“And what about after your heat ended? Did you still experience urges once it was over with? Did you find yourself getting turned on and wanting to be touched or even knotted again?”

Hux tensed as Ren continued to bombard him with questions “Why would any of that possibly matter?”

He really didn’t want to answer them. But apparently that was not acceptable for Ren who more often than not, was used to getting his way.

“Just tell me.”

Hux sighed heavily. “ _Yes_. It only lasted for few cycles, however.” A few weeks was more accurate. And during those weeks, he had dreamt almost every night of Ren touching him, caressing and holding him. On several occasions he had even woken up with his cock hard and aching. Most of the time he had ignored it, making use of his steadfast discipline to will his erection away. In a few instances, however, he had wrapped his hand around his cock and proceeded to jerk himself off, all the while imagining that it was Ren who was the one doing so. Hux couldn’t remember if Ren had actually touched him like that during his heat, but he had enjoyed imagining it, nonetheless. “I assumed it was simply one of those many inconvenient post-heat side-effects I had heard about.”

“It’s more than just that.” Hux believed that too, but he couldn’t be seen to be agreeing with Ren on the matter.

“I doubt that,” said Hux, quietly and almost hesitantly. 

“I really wish I hadn’t left you back then,” stated Ren, for what seemed like the hundredth time. Despite everything, Hux couldn’t help but wishing that he hadn’t either. “If I had stayed, then this…” Ren trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

Hux, couldn’t bring himself to ask what Ren had been going to say. But in the end, did it really matter?

“It wouldn’t have made a slight bit of difference if you had remained.”

Ren remained silent.

“The truth is Ren, that while you may conceal your face behind a mask, if you were to make the decision to no longer wear it, nothing would change for you in the long run. People would still fear and respect you, regardless. But if they were to learn the truth about me on the other hand, it would be the exact opposite. I’d immediately be relieved of my command, paraded around for being both and deviant and wilfully neglecting my duty as an omega to mate and reproduce. After that, I’d either be publicly executed as a warning to others and be made an example of or put to hard labour on some godforsaken planet where I would soon waste away and die anyway.” Hux couldn’t bring himself the voice out the most terrifying fate of all that could befall him.

As he was still of childbearing age and despite the severity of his supposed crime, High Command might see it as waste to simply kill him. After all, the First Order was always looking for future officers and those that came from their existing members were the most appealing to them. As such, there was the possibility that High Command would hand him over to some omega-less alpha amongst their ranks to who he would be forced to mate and bond with. There was also the chance that as a means to further punish and humiliate him for his deceit, they would offer him up to someone of lower rank than he had been. A mere captain or lieutenant who regardless of Hux’s past achievements, he would have no choice but to be completely subservient to. All his autonomy would be stripped away from him, just as his uniform would be. Instead he would be encouraged to ‘look good’ for his alpha and made to wear whatever they saw fit for him. For Hux, it would truly be a fate worse than death.

“No. I wouldn’t allow that to happen,” growled Ren, almost possessively, “Like I said before, I’d protect you.”

Hux scoffed. While Hux could almost appreciate the sentiment, it was still ludicrous. “I know that you’re Leader Snoke’s favourite, but I fear that you overestimate your power within the First Order. You may be strong physically and have those Force abilities of yours, but when it comes to having political influences…well, you’re solely lacking,” Hux replied, matter-of-factly. “My fate would be sealed the second a verdict was handed down either by High Command or Leader Snoke himself. So, you see Ren, in the end I have little choice but to hide what I am so I’m not discovered. I’m certainly not going to jeopardise everything I worked for and accomplished all these years over some romp in the sack with an alpha who until recently I was convinced would happily see me dead.”

“I never wanted that,” said Ren, looking away. While this had been established back during his heat, it didn’t change the fact that it was what Hux had believed all these years. And Hux suspected that Ren had probably thought something similar of Hux. Really, it was no wonder why they had been at such odds with each other.

“Anyway, as I said, I’m back to my normal self now. Those urges and desires, they’re all gone.”

“I could help you get them back. You can return to feeling that way again.”

“The only way to achieve that is for me to go into heat again, which as I explained, I’m not willing to do. That aside, I don’t want to feel those things again. Until a month ago, I was a…” Hux trailed off, embarrassed about referring himself a virgin, despite having little issue with it before all of this, “Well, I had gone my entire life without engaging in sexual intercourse.” Hux cringed internally. And now with avoiding saying it, he seemed to be compensating by being overly formal. “And I’m rather sure that I can manage the rest of it without sex just fine.”

“I’m not just talking about sex, Hux. I got to see a side of you I had never witnessed before. I used to think of you as being so cold, almost to the point of unfeeling, but that isn’t true at all. After all this time I finally got a sense of who you really are.” 

“As I said, I was more emotional than usual because of my heat and the changes in my hormones levels. Given I’d never had to deal with them before, they ended up having a shameful amount of influence on me,” said Hux, “I’m sorry to disappoint you but the person you were with back then…” Hux sighed. “Well, that’s not who I really am.”

“I don’t believe that. It wasn’t just the result of you being in heat. We shared a connection. I could feel it so vividly. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. And I know you felt it too.”

“I…I didn’t feel anything of the sort,” retorted Hux, his heart suddenly racing in his chest as he tried to deny the allegation, both to Ren and to himself.

“You’re lying,” accused Ren.

“I am not,” retorted Hux, doing his best to keep his voice level.

“Hux…”

“Even if I did, it doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t feel such things! It’s a distraction for me. From my duties.”

“There’s nothing to say that you can’t have both.”

Hux shook his head. “I don’t wish for _both_. The First Order is the only thing that matters to me. That and wiping out the Resistance, which should be just as much as a priority for you as it is for me.”

“It _is_ a priority for me,” replied Ren, clearly annoyed at the insinuation that it wasn’t, “I want to see them all destroyed just as much as you.”

“Then perhaps you should divert your attention away from me and dedicate more time towards hunting the Resistance down. Surely, you wish to have your revenge against that scavenger girl who inflicted that scar upon you?”

“Of course I do!” Ren growled angrily, Hux having evidently struck a nerve by bringing it up, “I’ve been away for over a month at the behest of my Master on a mission that was as equally pressing.” Hux didn’t conceivably believe that anything could be more important than wiping out the Resistance, but he remained silent. “Really, as far, as I can see it, any failure in locating them falls upon you!”

Hux winced slightly. He couldn’t deny what Ren said was correct. “Exactly,” replied Hux, ashamed of himself, “But I swear that I will. That’s why I cannot afford to allow myself to become distracted by anything else other than my duties.”

“Is that what you really think of me as being?” asked Ren, “A distraction from your work?”

“…Yes. I do.”

There was a long-drawn-out silence.

“I see,” said Ren finally, getting to his feet. “Well you should probably be on your way then. I wouldn’t want to take up anymore of your precious time since you value it so much.”

Hux hesitated, glancing up at Ren. “Ren, I…” He trailed off, having no idea what he could possibly say, something which annoyed Ren.

“What? You already made it abundantly clear that you want to leave; that being here and speaking with me is nothing but a massive inconvenience to you. Have you changed your mind so quickly?” questioned Ren with an unblinking stare.

“It wasn’t an inconvenience. You’re my co-commander and you said you wished to talk to me about something important so I came. I also…I also wished for the opportunity to go over where we stand with each other.”

“No. The truth is you wish that I hadn’t brought any of what happened between us up at all. You would rather I pretend that it hadn’t happened,” accused Ren.

Hux opened his mouth before closing it again. He couldn’t deny it. It would have been so much easier. For the both of them.

“Right, well, if you’ve said all you wanted to say, you can leave now.”

“Ren, I know you’re angry with me but my choosing not to go into heat again, it’s nothing personal against you, I swear,” said Hux, wanting desperately to make that clear to Ren.

Ren scoffed in response. When compared to the laughter he had heard from Ren earlier, it was a deeply unpleasant sound. “I find that difficult believe considering you both complained about having to ‘indulge me’ and of me being little more of distraction for you from your work.”

Hux grimaced. “Perhaps those weren’t the best choice of words. Honestly, I never meant to suggest –”

“No,” Ren interrupted, “If that’s what how really see thing then you shouldn’t feel the need to hold back. And given that holding things back seems to be one of the things you best excel at, it must have taken a lot to say what you did. Very commendable, General,” stated Ren coldly. It was far cry from how he had been talking to him lately, and Hux couldn’t help but be slightly taken aback by it.

“I’m not holding anything back,” defended Hux, “But even if I were, given my circumstances, surely you realise that I would have very valid reasons for doing so.”

“Liar.” Ren all but spat the word.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re the one who’s choosing not to do anything. I never realised before quite how weak you are.” Ren diverted his gaze away, as if he could no longer stand to look at him. As if Hux genuinely disgusted him.

Instead of upset, anger flared up from within Hux, threatening to explode. “Haven’t you been listened to a blasted word I’ve said?!” he yelled, the chair he had been sitting on making a loud and unpleasant screeching noise as it was pushed back as a result of Hux getting to his feet, “Surely by now you should be able to understand the reasons why I can’t go through with any of the things you suggested. They would bring about my ruin!”

Ren looked back at him, staring Hux straight in the eyes. “I understand that you’re a coward. Too scared to take a chance on something because of a little uncertainty.”

“How dare you! I am anything but a coward!” cried Hux, slamming his hands down on the table, “And there’s no uncertainty about it. I know exactly what would happen to me!”

Ren however, looked unconvinced.

Hux gritted his teeth. “You know nothing of me or the things I’ve had to do to get to this point! Of the many sacrifices that I’ve had to make my entire life!”

“I know a lot more about you than I did two months ago. When it comes to each other, we both do,” said Ren, his voice faintly remorseful for a moment before it took on the same callous tone as before, “But I suppose that doesn’t matter much to someone like you, does it?”

Hux ignored him. “It’s true. Alphas will never be able to understand anything outside themselves and their own selfish preconceptions of the world. Of the hardship’s others have to endure.” Hux hated that he believed that Ren was different from all the rest. That he was somehow special. “I was a fool to think that you could possibly understand.”

“You’re right. You are a fool”

Hux stilled, Ren’s words stinging him deeply. Back towards the end of his heat, he had lamented to Ren about being a fool in how he had reacted to it. Ren, meanwhile, had disagreed, assuring him that he wasn’t one; that he was just simply naïve about the things surrounding his heat. While Hux hadn’t liked being thought of as naïve either, at the time, he had appreciated Ren’s words, it serving to make Hux feel a bit better about both himself and his unusual situation. Now however, it was a reminder of just how much had changed since that moment. Or perhaps, it would be better to say, how much things had return to normal with Ren behaving just as coldly towards him as he always had, if not more so.

In any case, Hux didn’t try to deny it. He thought he had heard Ren mumble something along the lines of being a fool too, but with the words being barely audible, there was the chance that he had simply imagined it.

Ren folded his arms over his chest. “Anyway, as you said yourself, since we’ve both gotten what we wanted from each other, there’s no reason for you to stick around any longer.”

In spite of the awful turn the conversation had taken his and his initial desire to leave as quickly possible, there was a part of Hux that wanted to stay; to try and somehow work things out with Ren. To reach some kind of middle ground without the risk of either of them overstepping.

He refrained, however. From Ren’s words and demeanour, there was clearly nothing he could do or say that would satisfy him. It appeared that he had been right about it from the very beginning; he couldn’t give Ren what he really wanted of him. If Ren now him for it, then so be it. 

“I suppose there isn’t any. I’ll take my leave now then,” stated Hux, taking his hands off the table and standing up straight. Somehow, in spite of the emotional turmoil going on inside him making his body feel extraordinarily heavy, he managed to maintain his usual perfect posture.

“Thank you for the tea. It…It was very good,” said Hux quietly, a final show of courteousness before he turned to leave.

“I hope for your sake General, that you’re right about your heat cycles truly being over. I know just how inconvenient for you it would be if they weren’t.”

Hux stopped and glanced over his shoulder at Ren. “I am. You needn’t worry.”

“Good. Because I have no intention of doing that. As you said yourself, you can do whatever you please. It doesn’t concern me anymore.

“Goodbye Hux,” said Ren before turning away himself. There was an intense finality in Ren’s words that chilled Hux deeply. If possible, he would have preferred to have heard them through the modulator in Ren’s mask, the usual way Ren spoke to him. Hux believed it would have been easier to bear hearing them that way than in his natural voice, something which he had come to associate with a very different version of the man.

“Yes. Goodbye Ren,” replied Hux, moving to leave again.

A part of him wanted Ren to yell for him to stop, to reach out to him and pull him back.

But it never happened.

It was for the best of course. There was no point in prolonging such a painful conversation, especially now that it had finally came to its endpoint.

Once outside of Ren’s chambers, it took every ounce of self-restraint for Hux not to slump against the wall, his heart hammering in his chest from the encounter. Instead he proceeded on towards his quarters as fast as his legs could feasibly carry him while still walking.

A couple of Stormtroopers stopped to salute him. On the other hand, a petty officer passing by wasn’t able to salute him on time before he had already turned the corner. The look of surprise on their face told Hux, how frantic he must have looked despite his best effort to appear otherwise.

Back in his quarters, Hux all but collapsed on his couch, being both emotionally and physically exhausted. He hadn’t felt this way since…

No.

He closed his eyes. He couldn’t think about that right now.

While it was true that he hadn’t been expecting such a conversation to be easy, he hadn’t thought it would go so badly either.

Or perhaps he had. Perhaps that was why he had avoided thinking about it whenever possible; to protect himself. Maybe Ren was right. Maybe he really was a coward.

He regretted not properly preparing himself. Things might have gone differently if he had. But it was over now. He had made his decision.

No. It wasn’t a decision at all. Despite what Ren thought, he really didn’t have a choice.

Bringing his hand to his face, Hux was surprised when he felt the cold touch of bare skin upon his face rather than the smooth leather texture of his glove. It was then that he realised that he had left it back in Ren’s quarters, having removed it so that he could feel Ren heat the water inside the teapot using his powers. He had been so impressed by it back then. Back before the atmosphere had irreversibly soured. 

Hux dropped his hand and glanced down at it, it now exposed to the world. He had been so caught up in his conversation with Ren that he hadn’t been aware he hadn’t put it back on. Not even when he still wore the glove on his other hand. Hux doubted that he would ever see the glove again; Ren probably having thrown it in the trash already. Or he at least likely would when he came across it later.

Thankfully, Hux had several other pairs and so getting to his feet, he went to the drawer were he kept them and pulled a new pair out, removing the glove currently on his hand before sliding on the new ones.

“There that’s better,” Hux said quietly to himself as he stared down at them. It was only when a droplet of water suddenly trickled down onto the leather of his right glove that Hux realised that despite his resolve not to do so anymore, he was crying. Perhaps after such an encounter, it was simply inevitable. He supposed he should be thankful that he had managed to avoid crying in front of Ren himself. He wouldn’t have the excuse of being in heat to justify it this time.

‘Pathetic. Weak,’ he heard Brendol’s voice berating him in his head.

“I’m sure that Ren would agree with you there, father,” Hux chuckled weakly to himself as the tears kept flowing. In fact, after everything, Ren likely thought even worse things about him.

Nevertheless, Hux was sure that he had done the right thing.

And yet it hurt so very much.

Deciding to allow himself to cry one final time before putting all of it to rest for good, Hux let the knowledge of what Ren now thought about him sink in. A few moments later a broken sob escaped him, wracking through his entire body as he crumbled to the floor.

Being born an omega really was a curse. It was a never-ending compromise. But tomorrow things would be back to normal.

Tomorrow everything really would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the angst! 😢 (I am awful) Things will get worse before they get better but things will get better for them, I promise! 
> 
> Anyway, I hope I haven't put too many people off! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read to this point. It's really appreciated. 😊
> 
> Comments and kudos are always welcome, and feel free to prod me on [tumblr](https://yanyangire.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/yangiretrash).


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